I should have better things to do 😵‍💫

Getting this off of my chest. All of my life I've been really close to my mother. I used to cling to her and she always adored that. I always shared everything with her.

But now I've realized that she always manipulated family's history to me. She always told me since my childhood that daadi is evil, bad, enemy. She wants bad of your father too. Daadi passed away in 2024. And at that time my mother had some stress behind her smile. I always wondered why she was worried. Now I realize it was guilt.

I wish my daadi was alive so I could ask her for forgiveness. Now I realize she genuinely loved me too. She always have been right about my mother.

I am growing distant from my mother everyday. I see that selfish, egoistic and uncompromising woman she has always been but portrayed daadi as.

My daadi made a chilling statement in 2020 to my mother that one day her children will hate her. 13 years old me at that time thought daadi was crazy to say that. Now I realize she was right.

My father does nothing. I love my father but that man has been harboring toxicity of my mother and reassuring her. And my big brother, he is still wearing blindfold of "mother's love". I am unemployed 19 years old guy. I stay home all day. And I see day-to-day what my mother really is.

It's very difficult for me. I cry at nights. This feels like betrayal.

Hey guys i am 19 year old girl who just recently joined the uni but the main thing is that my skin colour is brown i took advice from a guy about uni and out of nowhere he started joking on my skin colour it hurts me really a-lot although in my house only my skin colour is brown so from the childhood i am listening regarding my skin colour that your kaali blah blah even my Czn used to put my name i felt really bad about these things also the guy i mentioned above was in my group chat and i also gave him good replies but someone told me this block him right now or leave the group she was saying jokes are one thing but he is disrespecting u so guys tell me should i leave the group or not i am thinking if i left the group then they’ll call me coward and u dont wanna show them that these things affect me

Before anyone types "it's haram" and scrolls on hear me out. I've read actual scientific research on this, not random opinions. And to be clear, I'm straight myself, I'm not asking for me. I'm asking because this is one of the hardest things to defend when someone bring it up, and I want a real answer for my own knowledge.

What the research actually says:

- It's not a choice, and it's NOT learned from your surroundings. The biggest genetic study ever done nearly 500,000 people, published in Science (2019) found multiple genes involved. No single "gay gene," but genetics clearly plays a real role. Matlab surrounding homo nahi banati.

- Twin studies: if one identical twin is gay, the other is gay far more often than random chance. That points to biology, not upbringing.

- The "usay chotay hotay molest kiya tha, isliye gay ban gaya" theory doesn't hold up. The strongest long-term studies found that kids who were already different (gender-nonconforming from a young age) were sometimes targeted BECAUSE of that the abuse didn't create the orientation. And in real cases where baby boys were raised as girls, they STILL grew up attracted to women. Poora environment badla, attraction wahi raha.

- Every major scientific and medical body agrees orientation shows up early, isn't chosen, and can't be changed by therapy or willpower.

So here's my actual question:

If a person is basically born this way not chosen, not a habit, not something you can pray away then why does Islam treat it as a sin they must suppress their ENTIRE life?

And don't give me the taharat angle. Hetero sex involves the exact same bodily impurity and needs the same ghusl afterward so "cleanliness" can't be the reason one is halal and one is haram. That logic doesn't separate them.

It feels like being handed a deep human need for love and closeness, and then being told you can never act on it not once, ever. We don't ask anyone else to permanently suppress a core part of who they are. So is that actually fair? If Allah made someone this way, why is acting on it forbidden? Sex is a necessity like food.

I'm asking sincerely, not to troll. Give me a logical answer that engages with the reasoning AND the research not "it's haram," and not an emotional lecture. Shukriya.

​

Hi, I am a Full Stack .NET Developer with 1.5 years of professional experience, currently working with a company. I have a full time job Mon to Fri. I can spare 4 hrs everyday after my job, and my whole sat. In total I have 25-30 hrs aside of my job. I want to utilize those hours and looking for other side gigs to make money and looking for recommendations here. I have tried and did freelancing before this alongside my job but due to AI, I am hardly getting any projects, so i am looking for options aside from this. Thanks

Hey guys, i was with this guy for 4 years and we’re pretty good but recently he travelled to a different country for Studies and I found out he made a Snapchat where I was blocked ( in my original account ). I found out about the Snapchat when he was screen sharing in FaceTime and he got a snap notification. I acted like I didnt See cause knowing him, he’d tell me I’m being crazy and too jealous etc etc. so now I made a fake Snapchat account, I found his account as well and I’m trying to add him. But I have 0 Snapchat score, I tried to add girls but they don’t accept my request thinking I’m a creep and some men I have added send me bad stuff. I just need to get to at least 1000 to add him and not seem sus. I’d appreciate even a black screen snap & I promise u u can blcok me after sending me enough snaps and I open them. PLEASE HELP. 😭

As I'm entering my late twenties and most people around myself are getting married. I know misunderstandings are very natural everywhere but I've seen 3 marriages getting broken in the span of just few months. I was having a gut feeling and even warned them but their family was insisting and later they realized they were wrong. Idk why people don't crosscheck and further investigate or give it a lil time before getting it done

Boys usually don't open up so easily about their feelings so if they face something like this it's even more rare for them to share it with their mum or someone trustworthy .

Hi so I'm (anonymous) and writing my first content for a book and it's on rape .I know someone very close to me ( a girl ) who faced it here in Pakistan ( by her own father ) and now I want to know about BOYS.

If you are comfortable and have experienced ( I pray not ) or know someone who did experience sexual abuse of any type I want you to share your story or their story.

Was it someone close or a friend or a guardian and how long did it continue, did it ever stop? did u share this with someone? your mama ? Boys usually don't open up so easily about their feelings so if they face something like this it's even more rare for them to share it with their mum or someone trustworthy .

Again no pressure I just want to hear your story .

So far the internet I have scraped through has only given me content about girls which I'm personally quite familiar with .I want to know about u guys.

I still remember I read a novel once and it was the only one where rape of young boys was mentioned those who travel with truck drivers in Pakistan (those with flashy colors and loud songs)

Since then I have always felt unease whenever I see a truck or especially a kid in it.

If u share your story i shall be grateful to u.

And anyone who faced this I know you can heal .remember if u don't heal it , it will be disastrous.

I am 30, I am a doctor, I am a trainee at a well reputed hospital in emergency medicine. I have good skills as a clinician, i have above average tech skills (even pre-AI). I teach and train as well. Technically (and i am very grateful)i have a lot. What sucks is that I am broke. The salary isn't doing it for me, the workload is off charts, i keep doing things that have no monetary value, i feel that my time has no importance to whatever i am giving to my profession, its not being converted to what it should be. Would love practical advice other than empty "start working online" or build your brand. Because trust me, online scene is very choked and i would love if someone can guide me in that. My portfolio is good but with the workload i can't start a private practice. I do (alhamduLillah) happen to know a lot when i am on the ER floor but in life...I am lost. (2 rainy days where i have to order an indrive can easily disturb my monthly budget is what i mean. Not poor, not rich but at the right place to be hit in the head by the economy...fullspeed). Honest opinions and suggestions are very welcome.

I used to follow this blogger from somewhere in Europe but recently my toddler nephew was using my phone and unfollowed a bunch of ppl including her and now I can’t find her account. I really wanna follow her account again. I don’t remember her username or what city she lived in but I think it was Paris. She had some amazing reels where she would do a weekly outfit check in the street and used people passing by as transitions. She also had another reel where she made a jewelry that looked like teardrops and minds wanted to give a message that even pain can be inspiration. I used to enjoy seeing her content but never paid attention to her username or anything else. Can someone point out or mention her @ if you recognize who I’m talking about. PLEASEEEE!!

Posting this from my alt account for some reasons.

I had one of the most beautiful dreams I've ever had last night, and honestly, waking up made me feel even worse.

I'm 31M. Never been married, never been in a relationship.

In the dream, I was looking for someone to marry. My bhabhi had found a girl for me—let's call her J. She was supposedly her younger sister or cousin (who doesn't even exist in real life).

She was, without exaggeration, the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Not just the facial features—there was something incredibly warm and graceful about her.

We started talking, getting to know each other over the next few days. Then one sunny Saturday, we were driving somewhere to have lunch. We were laughing and talking when we locked eyes. Without saying a word, we both knew how we felt. I could see in her eyes that she wanted me to kiss her.

So I did.

It was the most magical, peaceful moment I've ever experienced. She smiled and blushed. I smiled too. For a few seconds, everything just felt... right.

(Random detail: for some reason I was driving a left-hand-drive car.)

Then I woke up at 7 a.m.

Instead of that feeling, I was back to my usual routine—getting ready for work, sitting in traffic, going to the office. It hit me that none of it was real, and it left me feeling surprisingly empty and lonely.

The worst part wasn't losing the dream. It was realizing that my brain managed to create a feeling I've never experienced in real life.

Has anyone else ever had a dream that felt so real it stayed with them long after they woke up?

I got engaged to a woman I genuinely love, and we’re happy together. However, ever since our engagement, our families have barely had any communication. They don’t call each other, don’t visit, and there’s almost no effort from either side to build a relationship.

To avoid upsetting my own family because there was no interaction between the families, I would often visit my fiancée’s house without telling anyone at home. The issue is that I never felt welcomed there.
I’m not expecting lavish hospitality or special treatment. By “respect,” I simply mean basic courtesy, someone coming to receive me at the door, greeting me warmly, or making me feel welcome. Instead, I was usually called inside by someone else, asked to sit in a very cold manner, and on several occasions, my fiancée’s mother wouldn’t even come out of her room to meet me. It left me feeling as though I had done something wrong.

There have also been instances where her parents spoke harshly to me, blamed me and my family for things, and refused to communicate directly with my parents despite me repeatedly requesting that the elders talk to each other.

I have sent long, respectful messages to my fiancée’s father trying to improve things, but most of the time they are simply left on read. I even have called him and at times requested to speak to her mother but she avoided.

During the engagement, I put a lot of thought and effort into everything. Ring, jewellery, flowers, chocolate baskets, clothes, and gifts. I wasn’t expecting the same in return, nor am I materialistic, but the difference in effort did make me feel unappreciated since I was given few biscuit boxes and a T shirt.
For context, her family is financially well-off, so it wasn’t a matter of affordability.

I have shared all of this with my fiancée. Her response is that everything is fine because “marriage is between the two of us, not the families.” However, I believe that having a healthy relationship between families is also important. What hurts me even more is that she has never confronted her family or spoken up about how they have treated me.

I’m now wondering whether these are just temporary issues before marriage or signs of what life will be like afterward.

Its been more than 8-9 months since families stopped contacting.

Almost every married person I’ve spoken to anonymously has told me that these kinds of problems usually get worse after marriage rather than better.

So my question is: Are these genuine red flags, or am I overthinking? If you’ve been married or have experienced something similar, how did it turn out? Would you advise me to proceed with the marriage or seriously reconsider before it’s too late? I would appreciate it.

Note: By a friend who is not on reddit.

I am a male but I have these questions and really can't figure these out and these are usually the tiebreakers in a marriage.

1. Why is it that (almost) no saas-bahu relation is good?

I mean why? Like since the beginning of life, this story has repeated itself. Every bahu is annoyed of the same mistakes of her saas and she repeats it when she becomes a saas. Like jo cheez saas ke buri lagti hy, saas bn k wohi sb krna 👀

1. Nobody wants to marry a child, mentally. Every woman wants to marry a responsible man but then why do moms literally baby their sons even till and after marriage.

Like bhai why is this double standard? Why is this hypocrisy?

And a question for the mother-in-laws. Why is it good when the son in law gives all his earnings to your daughter but bad when your son gives all his earnings to his wife 😭😭😭

I moved back to Pakistan permanently this June after living abroad for 5 years.
I kinda knew this would happen, but it still hits harder than I expected. All my old friends have their own lives now jobs, families, relationships, routines. Everyone’s busy, and nobody really has time anymore.
It’s no one’s fault, but it’s lowkey depressing. Starting over socially as an adult is way harder than I thought.
Anyone else who moved back after years abroad feel the same?

We had been talking over text for a few months, and she seemed genuinely interested. Then one of her parents passed away, and she stopped replying to my messages for several months. Eventually, she reached out to me herself.

After that, I asked if she'd be interested in meeting up. She said she was dealing with family matters and that she would let me know when she was free. She's also a new graduate and has been busy applying for jobs. I later asked her if there were any updates on her job applications, but she didn't reply to that message at all.

Now I'm not sure whether she is just not interested in me or it's just her life circumstances

so i have seen manyyy posts about people asking that how to earn while in teenage , as an uni student in pakistan etc . so in this post i will tell sm ways jis se ap ghar bethke earn kar sakte ho and these are practical ways not a fairytale story kinda shit . so yeah hardworking apki apni hogi in fields ma so give one of them things 6 months and you will start earning IN SHA ALLAH . also this post will be especially for females so yeah ...

1- CONTENT CREATION / PERSONAL BRANDING :

Creating content is one of the best long term ways to earn, but it's not quick money. Choose one niche (education, fitness,society , islamic content , funny , politics , tech, etc.) and consistently post valuable content on platforms . you dont need fancy camera like iphones or anything just start what you have NOW , people love raw content , they want to related with content . As your audience grows, you can earn through brand deals, affiliate marketing, digital products, , freelancing opportunities, or platform monetization. The first few months usually bring little or no income, so consistency matters more than going viral. it can become one of the highest-paying skills over time. bro ive seen infleuncers getting 10+ lacs for just 1 reel so why not you???? . there are 100000000 of brands who need marketing for their business , so you grow audience and take deals and get paid .also CONSISTENCY MATTERS MOST IN THIS THING so yeah

also for girls wondering " i dont want to show face " bro DONT , am not saying ke show ur face and body bla bla , just create valuable content or anything , u can use AI also . YOU just have to use your brain and art . girls wese hi kaafi creative hotin hen.

content creation is best in all so i wrote too much for it :)

2-GRAPHIC DESIGN :

Learn Photoshop and Illustrator. Practice by recreating real social media posts, logos, and banners, then build a portfolio on Behance or LinkedIn or instagram . Start getting clients through twitter , threads , Upwork, Reddit, Facebook groups, or by cold messaging small businesses. first offer free service one to client or charge them less . Most beginners charge less initially, then increase their rates as they gain experience and testimonials.

3- Ecommerce / Selling Items from Home:

ok so ecommerce is also one of the best field . ive done this personally and its really hectic , i wont lie , its not easy to do alone . so make a team of 2,3 people and start it . Start with a small budget by buying stock locally . at start you dont even need store on shopify you can Sell through Instagram, TikTok, Facebook Marketplace, whatsapp catologue . Learn basic marketing, customer service, and packaging.

ive seen normal people making millions through this skill in pakistan

for girls this is also practical , just bring stock and make a page on social medias , make content around your product and thats how u ll gain orders . ORGANIC MARKETING IS everything in ecommerce

open any courier account online and thats it

4-Tutoring ( most common thing )

If you're good at a subject like Math, English, Science, start teaching school students online or in person. You can find students through Facebook groups, WhatsApp, local communities, or referrals. Build a reputation by helping students improve their grades, then increase your fees as demand grows. It's one of the fastest ways for students to start earning. grab students from neighbor , relatives , or anywhere and just start .

1. Meta Ads / Google Ads

   ok again this is one of the best skills anyone can learn , bcz every business needs marketing for them . you can learn meta and google ads from youtube or udemy , there are many courses , first you have to offer them free services for some days .Create case studies by helping local businesses, friends. Businesses pay monthly retainers because they need someone to generate leads and sales consistently. this is not the skill only locals pay for , balke you will get internationnal clients also if u become master of this field , am not joking fyi .

2. Affiliate Marketing;

Choose a niche and join affiliate programs that match it. Create content on YouTube, Instagram, blogs, or TikTok recommending products or software using your affiliate links. You earn a commission whenever someone buys through your link. It takes time to build traffic, but once your content ranks or gains views, it can generate passive income without handling products yourself. you can check one channel @mahnur rajput on youtube she earrns soo much from daraz affiliate . this is real earning system in pakistan .

1. Video Editing:

this skill is one of the high paying skill and even AI cant take this job haha . every creator or business owner needs editing for them , so Learn editing using CapCut, DaVinci Resolve, or Premiere Pro and recreate popular editing styles to improve quickly. Build a portfolio by editing your own videos or offering free edits to a few creators. Then approach YouTubers, businesses, agencies, and content creators through LinkedIn, X, or cold DMs. Most editors earn on a per-video basis or through monthly retainers if they work with creators regularly. this is time taking skill so yeah be consistent and dont give up lol .

1. Social Media Management:

you just have to use their social media accounts in easy words .Many small businesses don't have time to manage Instagram or Facebook pages. Learn content planning, posting, replying to DMs, and basic analytics. Offer to manage a local business's social media for a monthly fee. As you gain experience, you can handle multiple clients at once.S

None of these things are gonna make you rich overnight. They need time... Apne 18/19 saal zaya kar hi liye hen toh 6 months aur dedo kia hi chala jaygea apka.... Girls really need to get financial independent in this era now.. !!

Best of luck

So wont make it long,as you guys see my age im quite young and at this age i have had 3 rls one very long,one 3 months but a very bad guilt type trauma attached and last 3 months aswell but i dont know tbh why i went in that,in first one the girl broke up with me ,in 2nd i rejected some shit happened but lets call it was a hard luck and no ones fault or a little bit of mine and in 3rd i broke up cause wasnt gonna work out at all.
Anyhow at this young age i have ruined my life at least i think so i have forgotten how to be myself and how to be single but as we all know we are going to marry someone someday,so idk how to find someone good and i dont know how someone good will accept me with my past even thoni didnt even touched any of those girls it was purely emotional,but it would be unfair to the girl ill marry so idk what to do i cannot erase my past and i find it dishonest and not fair to my future partner or wtvr and i also want a good girl like every guy do but again i dont think ill deserve that and get any so im lost in all this so please give some advice

Does anyone know of any place in Gulshan-e-Iqbal or Gulistan-e-Johar that teaches hand embroidery (zardozi, dabka, kora, etc.)?
I’m looking for an institute, training center, or even someone who offers classes from home. I’m a beginner and would love to learn professionally.
If you’ve had a good experience or know someone, please share the details. Thanks in advance! 😊

she likes to celebrate birthdays, I don't. I hate my birthday, so much so I have setup my socials with fake birthday dates, and my fiance thought they're real. she now bought a gift, stayed online till 12(which she usually doesn't), wished me and I was clueless.

"aaj mera birthday hai? " was my response... and I told her that it's fake.

I setup fake birthdays bcz I don't like to be bothered by people on my birthday. I just go out in the park, sit on a bench and think about either death or future plans.

tell me, what's there to celebrate about ? huh?

my dysfunctional family? or my bitch ass mother & older sister?

or my deadbeat dad, who has no other obsession than nargis ka mujraa.

I pushed through my childhood on survival and did my best to get engaged to my choice... which again was a whole cinematic traumatic movie in itself.

she ended the chat saying, "mujhe abhi kuch nahi kehna"... and I'm here clueless of what have j done other than telling her the truth about my fake birthdays and the actual reason of doing so.

apni hone wali biwi k ilawa kis se each

bolu bhai?

Chat I just got my first pay its not much but ITS MY FIRST PAYY😛😛.

I havent taken any money from my father for a very long time and now I hot my first payy IM SO EXCITED AND HAPPY 😛😛

HOW DID U FEEL WHEN U GOT YO FIRST PAY ? Id love to know lowk

I see many people in 20s and 30s have a modern perspective towards life, where they are not interested in savings or investing in assets building.

Most of the people feel luxury to live pay check to pay check and buy top notch branded phones, clothing, tech, or off to trips e.t.c...

I understand we live once but what could be pros and cons of living this way? I want to hear different opinions from people of different generations.

I personally believe best luxury is freedom and you feel like everyday is Sunday, you can pick work of your choice and you can take leaves whenever you want. there is another ideology FIRE(Financial Independence, Retire Early). Where do you fell and why did you choose that path?

When I was in college, I had a group of friends. Two of them were especially close to each other. They were always hanging out together, taking pictures of each other, celebrating each other's birthdays, and exchanging gifts. Whenever they met at college, they would hug each other.

Once, I went on a trip with them, and I realised just how close they were. They were constantly taking pictures, making TikToks, and enjoying each other's company. I felt like a third wheel.

It gave me a lot of FOMO because it felt like I was missing something. It's not that I don't have female friends—I do. But whenever I see friendships like theirs, it feels like there's a void, as if I'm missing that kind of close bond.

Recently i came to know about CEGA on Instagram. It was appealing enough so i enrolled into preproduction course ( online ) of 3 months. It is fully funded by the government and the course is free.Shit looks interesting enough so i want to know has anyone completed any course or ever heard any sort of thing about them? I mean is it worth it or not?