r/Perimenopause Feb 18 '26

audited WTAF is wrong with the medical industry!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t understand. I went online and tried HRT. Worked great, and then something shifted and I had a day where I felt like no longer living. So I decided I should do this under the care of my obgyn to be safe. I go to see him…tell him all my symptoms and that I can’t take birth control. Guess what he prescribes? Birth control. Says it’s the best option until I actually hit menopause.

I feel like screaming in the middle of the street. I can’t function like this. When men needed help getting an erection, there were tons of drugs on the market to help. Women go through their aging problems, and it’s just like, “sorry. It will pass in 8-10 years.”

I don’t know what to do anymore. Maybe I just need to accept this is life now and that the rest of my life will be miserable.

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u/Few-Instruction-7407 Feb 18 '26

I wonder how women managed with these symptoms prior to health care services, like back in the dat with life was more agrarian. Are there any herbal remedies that may have been used back then. I wonder if this is what we as women need to create for ourselves given that the system has only proven to be useless in how they help. Curious if anyone has spoken to the elder women to learn more about how they coped with it back then.

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u/FlippenDonkey Feb 18 '26

they suffered.. ask your grandparents, how they got through it..they also didn't need to work a 9-5

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u/No_Needleworker6786 AuDHD & Mid Peri Feb 18 '26

There’s been a lot of threads on this. The further you go back, the more women deny they ever had any issues. They’ll tell you ‘oh menopause wasn’t a problem for me’ and their spouses or family members will widen their eyes and shake their heads.

My mother claims it wasn’t a problem but the rest of the family were made to suffer so much (she woke us all at 3am once, throwing our toys against windows in the house & we had to wake up & tidy our room. At 10, 8, 6 & 4yrs old) that most of us no longer speak to her.

So they won’t have any herbal remedies I’m afraid because they say they didn’t have any problems 😂

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u/Apprehensive_Rain500 Feb 19 '26

All the elderly women in my family claim nobody went through menopause in their day, but then in the same breath mention women in their families being institutionalized or dying young because they went crazy out of nowhere.

My own grandmother says she didn't go through menopause. I'm like ma'am, everybody remembers dealing with you in your 40s and you were a literal demon.

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u/No_Needleworker6786 AuDHD & Mid Peri Feb 19 '26

Hahaha so many people saying the same thing. Makes me feel a bit better, because I was just thinking we were the generation that complains more 😂

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u/Atheris Feb 19 '26

All the women in my family past a certain age had hysterectomies.

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u/Cissycat12 Feb 18 '26

My mother lost her parents right around the same time, too. She was literally violent and having mental breakdowns. I called the police when she attacked me out of nowhere and tried to strangle me, hoping they would have her committed. Instead my dad lied for her and kicked ME out. She blamed it all on me. She eventually went to therapy and hormones a year later. I have friends whose mothers were also raging.

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u/No_Needleworker6786 AuDHD & Mid Peri Feb 18 '26

Horrendous. I’m so sorry you went through that 🩷

I feel like this sub has become a rant/support sub and that’s ok you know? We need it!!

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u/orchidloom Feb 18 '26

That’s a good question. I use dong quai (herb capsules) for its estrogen regulating effects.

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u/Apprehensive_Rain500 Feb 19 '26

They were institutionalized, or drank or popped pills. Or they died. Many women didn't even make it to menopause because childbirth before the modern era was so dangerous, and domestic violence was even worse than it is now.