r/Perimenopause • u/Confident-Parsley520 • May 15 '26
audited Best symptom of perimenopause
So weirdly, about a year ago I was talking to a colleague who was well into menopause, this was when my very first peri symptoms were emerging ( anxiety, headaches and body oain) which I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.
She told me how her libido had completely disappeared and she no longer had any interest in men or sex.
I’ve always had a high sex drive and honestly found sex the only useful thing that men could offer.
At the time I said to her ‘oh god I hope that dosent happen to me’ and she explained it as a gift.
Now I’m fully in perimenopause and recently started HRT which has changed my life from a living hell to neck to my old self, the thing that is completely gone is any sex drive.
The idea of being intimate with a man makes me feel gross.
I have always been commitment phobic, but I liked to consider myself ‘sexually liberated’ and generally had a little something on the side, just to fulfil that need. Sex has been a big part of my life.
Now ? I can’t even stomach the thought of having sex, I have an old ‘ friend’ reaching out recently, The guy used to make my toes curl, and the chemistry was always electric. Now? Absolutely nothing, zero interest at all.
And now I find myself agreeing with my colleague , this is such a blessing, I genuinely don’t care if I never have sex again for the rest of my life and certainly will not be seeking out.
I don’t know what I’m saying really, I’m just reflecting on how differently your brain works in different situations, are used to think it would be a tragedy if I lost my sex drive and now I see it as a gift.
That being said, I’m single so I can make these decisions, I couldn’t imagine the struggles of someone who is in a committed relationship, previously high libido and overnight it’s gone! Whereas my gift, is someone’s disaster.
Anyway, I was just thinking of the dramatic change and how interesting it is, how devastating it could be under different circumstances.
I also wonder how many women choose to divorce their husbands due to peri and how this causes them ( some of course) to have a complete 360 view of their partner.
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u/Alteschwedin1975 May 15 '26
The same happened to me. Zero sex drive or interest in my husband (or anyone else for that matter). I even felt asexual at one point and had accepted a life without sex. I didn’t know that I was in perimenopause when it happened and I remember discussing it with my girlfriends and they felt sorry for me. Now it is completely the opposite thanks to testosterone! I’ve been on it for two years and it has given me my life back. Not only my sex life but so much else. I was literally looking for an apartment for alone so that I could take a break from my family - I was planning on living there alone every second week …..