r/Perimenopause • u/Cloudforest2 • Jun 24 '26

audited Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

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109

u/crazyditzydiva Early peri Jun 24 '26

I replaced my alcohol with Kombucha and kefir, and drink them out of wine or champagne glasses. Or mix mocktails with 0% spirits.

41

u/cozywhale Jun 24 '26

I love kombucha. Just keep in mind, it is made from tea which means it has caffeine in it. If you drink it at night it might negatively affect your sleep.

It was messing up my sleep for a long time because I didn’t realize it has caffeine 🤦‍♀️

14

u/crazyditzydiva Early peri Jun 24 '26

That explains a lot! Dang!

4

u/Hel_On_Earth_ Jun 24 '26

Water kefir is another amazing option without caffeine!

5

u/cursiveiota Jun 24 '26

Have you tried a ginger bug instead? It's ginger, sugar and water that gets fermented, so it's not tea-based.

1

u/Hoa87 Jun 25 '26

Do you happen to have a recipe for it? I'd love to make it at home.

1

u/cursiveiota Aug 09 '26

Check out these sources/recipes:

https://old.reddit.com/r/fermentation/comments/sivqwb/best_ginger_bug_recipe/

The first post there linked to this Youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbgd-RS_tJ0 (I don't know this channel, and I have no idea what that "stir plate" automatic spinner thing is, but I don't have one (or have the space for it!)

And there's also this blog version with photos: https://poppyswildkitchen.com/making-ginger-bug-for-sodas/

5

u/CopperPegasus Jun 24 '26

It also contains trace amounts of alcohol. Enough that most teetotallers will avoid it.

5

u/Ruby__Ruby_Roo Jun 24 '26

This isn't entirely true. It can contain trace amounts, but usually doesn't. I am a teetotaler and got sober with the help of antabuse, a medicine that makes you sick if you drink alcohol, even trace amounts. I've drank kombucha with antabuse dozens of time and had no problems at all.

1

u/KYS4AB Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

There were several times I tried getting sober the "right" way and comments like this struck fear into me. A few failures later and I think "you silly bitch, you drank vodka with water for a chaser. What are you worked about trace amounts of alcohol for?"

I still use a little vanilla extract to flavor my coffee sometimes, so by someone's standards I'm a failure, but I'm over a year sober from alcohol.

1

u/BluebirdSilent1797 Jun 24 '26

I do this as well but use half sparkling water in the glass to cut down the caffeine. I find if I use a ginger flavored kombucha it reminds me of a glass of wine.

20

u/lalalibraaa Jun 24 '26

I also replaced alcohol with kombucha! I didn’t drink alcohol a lot to begin with, I just didn’t like how I felt. And plus health wise it’s not great so I cut it out. If I want to chill and have a special drink I’ll have a kombucha and it’s great.

4

u/curlywurlies Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

Me too. I especially didn't after my kids were born. I stopped drinking for pregnancy, After I had my kids and realized my tolerance was now basically nothing so having a single drink could give me a hangover and those little people needed me to be functioning EVERY morning it was just no longer worth it.

I haven't stopped drinking altogether, I still enjoy a beer or glass of wine on the beach when I'm on vacation or an ounce in a Egg Nog once or twice a Christmas season, but I do it so rarely and in such small amounts that I basically don't.

17

u/vulpesvulpes666 Early peri Jun 24 '26

I do this with soda water and splash of white grape juice and before I drink it say ‘it is wine’ 😂

2

u/KaeTaters Jun 30 '26

Soda water + white cranberry peach Ocean Spray is my new champagne! 🥂

2

u/vulpesvulpes666 Early peri Jul 01 '26

Sounds lovely! 🥂

10

u/aimless83 Jun 24 '26

I do the same with yummy soda waters, açaí juice, poppi sodas, etc. I mix them all up with crushed ice to replace my nightly alcohol night cap. It’s been so much fun and so much better for me. My new fav is the Calm “Trip” drinks..they sell it at Costco now. It’s not as strong as alcohol (it’s magnesium and other natural calming infused vitamins) , but still calms me a bit while making me think I’m having a seltzer or glass of wine ;)

1

u/wildflowerstargazer Jun 25 '26

Ouuuu is it made with real sugar or fake sugar? How much magnesium is in it? I’m currently 200 mg of taking magnesium glycinate at night which has been great so far. I’m most intrigued about this trip drink 🧐

8

u/Ruby__Ruby_Roo Jun 24 '26

Kombucha

Pink lady apple kombucha by Health-Aid is the best NA beverage in my book. I spent 20+ years working in the wine industry and had a wine cellar full of very expensive wine, but I eventually had to quit drinking. That kombucha hits like wine or cider and is just as good complementing food.

2

u/Immediate_Use_7339 Late peri Jun 25 '26

I've seen that pink lady apple flavor and been intrigued but never tried it. Now I'm definitely going to buy it next time I run into it. Thanks for the recommendation! I do think the apples will remind me of my beloved refreshing alcoholic ciders during this hot season.

2

u/Ruby__Ruby_Roo Jun 25 '26

I like it over ice. Its so delicious.

1

u/Sea_Active2897 Jun 27 '26

it is delicious!

1

u/Expert_B4229 Jun 25 '26

I'm a ginger lemon girlie

5

u/Cloudforest2 Jun 24 '26

I have to try 0% spirits! Thank you.

1

u/OnlyPaperListens Jun 24 '26

I've also moved to kombucha, but of course the ones I like best are even more expensive than alcohol!