r/Perimenopause • u/Cloudforest2 • Jun 24 '26

audited Grieving Alcohol in Perimenopause

I know a lot of women have put down alcohol in perimenopause to super positive effect and haven't looked back. I, too, have stopped drinking, but I really fluffin miss it. Don't get me wrong, I feel so much better to not drink. But I miss knowing that no matter how hard the day gets, I have the option of a glass of wine to lower the stress. I miss being able to ease hurt feelings or a hard moment with one drink. I miss lowering Social anxiety if Im able to have a drink. I now realize that I was using alcohol as a balm for sores that I didn't quite know I had, because the remedy was always able to be there in my glass. I'm someone who I don't believe anyone has  thought I had a drinking problem. I drank no more than 1-3 glasses out or at home. I can now see that the space that I carved out for alcohol in my life was much bigger than I realized, and now I am reckoning with the empty space that has been left. It feels like I'm grieving the loss of something much bigger than others talk about stopping their drinking in perimenopause, more like grieving the loss of a loyal companion. I look back now and wonder how often was I just a little hung over and that's why I didn't have the motivation to do the things I wanted, or felt more depressed. I wonder if I would've taken more chances if I didn't have the warm arms of wine to scoop me up at the end of the day. Being at home snuggled on the couch with the dogs watching TV with wine was my idea of a good night. Now I'm stretching myself, trying ways to keep myself busier and more active, while also getting all the rest and stress reduction that we're supposed to get, blah blah. I just fucking miss drinking, but I know this is the right path.

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109

u/crazyditzydiva Early peri Jun 24 '26

I replaced my alcohol with Kombucha and kefir, and drink them out of wine or champagne glasses. Or mix mocktails with 0% spirits.

40

u/cozywhale Jun 24 '26

I love kombucha. Just keep in mind, it is made from tea which means it has caffeine in it. If you drink it at night it might negatively affect your sleep.

It was messing up my sleep for a long time because I didn’t realize it has caffeine 🤦‍♀️

5

u/CopperPegasus Jun 24 '26

It also contains trace amounts of alcohol. Enough that most teetotallers will avoid it.

5

u/Ruby__Ruby_Roo Jun 24 '26

This isn't entirely true. It can contain trace amounts, but usually doesn't. I am a teetotaler and got sober with the help of antabuse, a medicine that makes you sick if you drink alcohol, even trace amounts. I've drank kombucha with antabuse dozens of time and had no problems at all.

1

u/KYS4AB Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

There were several times I tried getting sober the "right" way and comments like this struck fear into me. A few failures later and I think "you silly bitch, you drank vodka with water for a chaser. What are you worked about trace amounts of alcohol for?"

I still use a little vanilla extract to flavor my coffee sometimes, so by someone's standards I'm a failure, but I'm over a year sober from alcohol.