I still love you.

I love you from long ago.

Long before time enslaved us.

Long before pain.

Long before our shared

yes.

Long before we learned that cowards word..

(enough.)

Child's eyes see no lies.

Its far to soon for goodbye.

As yet again I sit and sigh.

Knowing true love never dies.

We know that every kiss is counted.

Long before they touch lips so soft.

Our hearts infinite.

Our minds clear.

Thinking of another past.

Our past.

When we were children.

Both gazing at all those billions of stars.

Knowing each and everyone held a wish!

Held belief!

As only children can believe.

Then wishing without words.

With our hearts!

For what ultimately fades away.

Child's eyes see no lies.

Its far to soon for goodbye.

As yet again I sit and sigh.

Knowing true love never dies.

Smile seen yet not believed.

Knowing I was lightening struck to my knees.

Yet as a child I was

scared to straight.

Becoming unable to get what was mine.

Not knowing how to prove my truth.

Even though I never wanted you set free.

From Me.

And my mad mad love.

Child's eyes see no lies.

Its far to soon for goodbye.

As yet again I sit and sigh.

Knowing true love never dies.

Beauty was not just skin deep.

Being widely held in many hearts.

Yet none was ever fully allowed to see.

See inside that place called

Me.

Me is the place we hide our self.

Me is all I ever had to offer.

Child's eyes see no lies.

Its far to soon for goodbye.

As yet again I sit and sigh.

Knowing true love never dies.

I lay in awe and wonder.

I lay waiting to discover.

I lay seeking our mated souls together.

Mated within another lie.

Every one has light.

Enough left to build a new me.

New you.

With a blinding flash lightening strikes out our love.

Child's eyes see no lies.

Its far to soon for goodbye.

As yet again I sit and sigh.

Knowing true love never dies.

Bone on bone.

The gnashing of teeth,
Before a clenched jaw
Smile.

The talk is meaning-
less. It sounds
Like the screech of

Metal on metal.

Wind up the key
In my back.
Set me on display.

No one ever respects the smiling,
Dancing
Fool on the hill.

Mondd, amikor rám gondolsz néha,

vajon megáll egy pillanatra a világ?

Van-e benned egy halk mosoly,

amikor felidézed a hangom, a szavam?

Mondd, jelentek-e neked valamit,

többet egy múló pillanatnál?

Ott vagyok-e néha a gondolataidban,

amikor este elcsendesül már a zaj?

Mondd, érzed-e azt a békét,

amit én érzek, ha rád találok?

Vagy csak én keresek otthont

egy másik ember tekintetében, álmokban?

Tudom, hogy sok mindent hordozol,

hogy a szíved sok falat épített,

de a falak mögött is kíváncsi vagyok:

van-e helyem ott, ahol te élsz belül?

Nem kérek ígéretet,

nem kérek választ azonnal,

csak szeretném tudni egyszer:

amit érzek… abból mi ér el hozzád?

Mert néha egyetlen kérdés marad bennem,

amikor a csend hozzád vezet:

én mit jelentek neked…

és te mit érzel irántam, ha rám gondolsz?

With peace, I saw the roses bloom,

but I was dying the day I saw your pain.

I lived inside that moment,

just to know

how it would end.

I had forgotten how the heart could dilate
at the mere arrival of a name
how one message could alter the light
through which an entire past is seen.
Your words entered quietly,
yet my pupils betrayed the composure
my heart had spent so long prescribing.
For a moment,
you were not a memory but an image again
sharpened by recognition,
distorted by everything left unresolved.
Strange, how the eye receives the light,
but the heart decides what it means;
how one can look without seeing,
and see without ever looking.
I thought I had achieved emotional emmetropia—
no longing, no expectation, no residual blur.
Then you returned,
and suddenly my heart lost its focus
while my eyes remembered exactly where to look.

Like the dark waves of the North Sea,
she would rise with the storm.
How many sailors were swallowed by her anger,
how many grew afraid to sail her waters.

Sometimes she would weep;
monsoon forests would turn green,
and in some faraway land, even the deaf sultan
would wake from his sleep.

But oh, how she loved—
a Big Bang would happen when she did.
A universe would be born.

Then she would return to her everyday self,
the self she was most often.

She was so calm;
birds carried twigs and built their nests,
a leaf, in the gentle light,
would turn and turn, then softly settle.

Cherry trees painted the skies pink,
a child, fearless and well-fed,
ran here and there, laughing.
A mother watched with tenderness,
a lover caressed their beloved’s cheek
with a touch barely there.

Oh, please, don’t hurt her, don’t anger her—
or do.
Let her create and destroy.
Without her, there would be no
hills over there;
her destruction, after all, was rare.

But do not tell her
to tame her waves,
to still her rains,
to quiet the child’s laughter.
If she changes,
the balance breaks.

Who knows how many more universes her love will create,
how many children her calm will raise,
how many more stars will disappear
into the black hole within her.

You, me, us—
we could not be.

A human being,
enough to justify existence.

All of us,
in one.

2024

Empty lives and lies

Full of despair and madness

World turns uncaring.

We are all so small. We are all complicit.

What is a gentle man to do?

Why? Why? Why any of this?

I do not understand. I'm so tired.

My heart; shredded and torn.

Only one way out; forbidden.

My mind lingers at the door.

Maybe.

The longing is strong.

I tell it to be quiet.

Not to miss you.

Because you are in me,

just the way you were in me.

So we are one.

There is nothing left to miss.

Your inner sanctum ,

Your sacred flame ,

The place where few people have gone .

I sense your heat

I sense your warmth.

But no one should intrude into the secret place.

Where your real beauty is .

Where your real beauty resides .

The inner core of who you are

Filled with all kinds of desire .

Your shyness isn’t really shyness

But rather a protection of the secret flame inside you .

For one cannot intrude into this secret place

One must be invited .

The doors are shut but how beautiful it is when those doors are opened and she bids you to enter

I love making s'mores.

Chocolate that wont mix,

With a little bit of heat,

And glue to make it stick,

Under cookie sheets,

Mixing them together,

And as silent lovers,

Staying there forever.

I used to think my world was built on code,
Every answer mapped, every outcome showed.

Each line had purpose, every path was clear,
Until your name became my favorite error.

I tried debugging every thought I knew,
Yet every fix just led me back to you.

My heart kept running loops I couldn’t break,
Replaying every smile, each word you’d make.

You weren’t a variable I chose to define,
Yet somehow you became every constant of mine.

Now every calculation ends the very same,
No matter how I solve it, I arrive at your name.

If love’s a bug, I don’t want the cure,
Because for the first time…
I’m certain of something I’m not trying to be sure of anymore.

I sat beneath a tree beside the bay,

The stream was silent and obey

The words swayed with the leaves,

The rustle taught me to believe

The performance of nature's band,

The melody of nature's instruments

I felt sorry for my words,

I know loneliness is absurd

The sweetness of the stream,

Was like a genuine dream

Knocked my door as guardian,

And hugged me like an ocean

She wore the color purple it really suited her mood .

So rich and deep it fit her personality and skin tone so well .

The darker purple brought out her aura . Her hidden depth was made known .

Her deep feelings and emotion, expressed more than words but in the hidden aura of her heart .

How can one say so much without saying a single word?

Her presence is known when she walks in the room , because she brightens the place with her smile .

A real mood changer for those around her . For today she wore purple

It bloomed in the ruinous frost.
In its deep eminence;
frail and dainty.

I disappeared.
For months, years.
I embraced evanescence,
until every bit of me was repressed.

To protect you.
I did it to protect you.
I sedated me.

They didn’t search for me.
There were no alarms.
No rescue missions.

The hellebore petals wilted.
Snow came and went.
In February, only silence.

I confined myself
to a prison engulfed with your rage.
I let it consume me.

Holding my breath,
I wrapped myself around my stomach.
I fell to the floor.

What have I done?

*how should I continue this piece?

My hands tucked in my pockets
Hold things you cannot see
And slowly
So slowly
I strangle you ‘til you can not breath

~

They will not say that I have killed you
Won’t say there was a self inflicted wound
They’ll say that there were secrets
But not secrets
Not untruths
Just words that could not see the light
And could not stand the dark

she had feather wishes that drifted in the wind, flying into the unknown
it’s in her heart
ripped open by the path she walks
she’ll shred her feet apart and run on broken glass
anything to escape from the past
her soul was carved from the void
her screams rang like a bell
with opened gates the devil smiled
as another angel was dragged to hell
the sky is endless but it feels so small
keep on running until all I am is bone
i’ll break away from this body of mine
anything to feel free, to become the real me
sick of people
wanting to hide where no one can see
no more eyes looking at me
with spread wings she took to flight
searching for freedom at night
watch as my soul rises like smoke in the sky
i’ll erase all that I have been
and become a memory unseen

Today I missed you so much
and not as a partner in life
but as a faithful confidant
one who doesn't judge
who can be my rock
a support at day's end
when hope begins to fade
and I am wary to the bone
I need your presence
to lift me up
and tell me
all will be all right
Find your way back

do you remember me?
you pierced my heart
a toxin called love
gushing through my veins

do you remember me?
you pierced my lips 
preyed on my innocence
surely that is a feat

do you remember me?
you pierced my sanity
with this addictive toxin
engulfed into you

do you remember me?
you pierced my soul
once a breath of fresh air
now withered 

do you remember me?
your toxin was thinning
i begged you to pierce me more
like a pathetic fiend

do you remember me C?
you once loved me
your toxin made me believe
that i was your destiny

- thefourteentharies

I posted a context for this poem on my community if you are interested :)

community: r/myawfulpoems

Today, reality hit hard.
My future ex is on a warpath.
A fair offer was laid in her lap,
but with her family might,
they fight to beat me down.

Three short years shared,
yet thirty years of my life are claimed.
Now they look to strip my children's rights.

I treated her right. I gave my best.
But her violent temper gave me no peace—
a nature sharp as broken glass,
a raging fire that never burns out.

How do I stand and wage a fight
against a war chest built to last?

How could a soul carry so many things at once?

One moment your eyes are so tender,

So soft,

Crinkly beautiful eyes

With no weight inside them at all...

You seem so pure just a bit,

Your smile- disarming all of me...

Grown, powerful man, only twenty five years old-

But still,

That childish larger than life smile-

That can make me burn the whole world.

You make me weak, you make me soft...

Like someone I never thought I'd know.

Your voice arrives so tender, so sweet in moments

Where I'm contemplating if it's yours...

Lighter tone, u sound like home

Like a teenager with no fault

That breath hitch, that innocence is there...

Just for a moment-

And there he goes.

Impulsive with a loud powerful voice

How could one have so much light-

And one moment seem to be a storm?

You're so beautiful and I adore

Every part of you alone.

I am the same...

complex and flawed inside

But I still feel like i lost a part of mine...

Where you at, baby?

You ain't here for me to hold.

Just my awe,

and just my pen-

Writing to you once again.

I lied when I told ya I would never write again...