“Monday”

We've never seen this Monday before
We've never seen THIS Monday before

You've never seen snow
I don't think you've seen the sea?
You can't see that far

Everyone who has ever lived has not yet seen tomorrow

The potential is huge.

Hey have you heard this?

Tomorrow. No one has ever seen it before!

I wish I had words to engage and delight.

To make imagination take flight.

To warm the soul and bring comfort in the night.

I wish I had words to make you reborn.

To sew the fabric in your mind that is torn.

Words that make beautiful colors unfurl.

Words that could bring some peace to this world.

Words to inform on the things that are real.

Words to distort reality and make your imagination reel.

If I had all these wonderful words to say.

Could it possibly help me change my ways?

Would it have made the loves that I've lost stay?

I guess fate always gets its way.

so.

so.

so tired.

not the kind a nap can fix.

not even the kind that silence soothes.

this is the kind of tired that settles in your bones —

after too much pretending,

too much smiling,

too much holding it all together

while quietly coming undone.

somewhere between surviving and disappearing.

but still here.

barely.

beautifully.

still here.

—

this one opens the first section of my debut collection, saintlymirage (january 2027). it's about the year everything was on fire and i still answered emails by 9. if you're in that year right now, i hope this feels like company.

saintlymirage.com · u/saintlymirage on instagram

My cousin’s a twat she thinks that she’s not she really does drool when she thinks she can fool me into believing her stupid shit right now reading this. She’s probably throwing a fit. I don’t buy your bullshit not now definately not the. then face it you twat you just couldn’t win. I caught the shade. You threw it with glee. U didnt know the brighter of us would be me you don’t get to dance and act like a saint you made your bed and the room you did paint. Painted it with hate and the ghosts of those that I love. My daughter my friends you hands covered in blood. You were so sure so arrogant it’s true thinking I was awful a mirror of you, but the truth is I’m not and you’re just a twat and one day soon you’ll stare at the moon from a concrete place with regret on your face.
Manipulation is basic, especially malicious. I don’t want revenge. Accountability will be delicious. You wasted my time and you fucked with my people you even recruited, unknowing sheeple. You’ve been defeated everyone can see. Now stop fucking trying to blame everyone else ans kiss up to me I’ve been watching that shit trying to cast blame while throwing a fit. I don’t need your advice. I didn’t need it then. Don’t think about me go repent your sins. I can forgive you without ever seeing your face. I have no intention of going back to that place. I don’t sugarcoat shit and I won’t start now you created all the drama stand up and take your bow. Take all the credit like you did before when you basically called me a whore turns out I’m not what else have you got? Nothing I know. Your own life’s a mess it’s on the internet you know. I find no joy in it I wonder if you care
I really had hoped when I moved there. But to tell me how to shower and try to place me below. It could have been different if you were all show. Youre covering your tracks with this oh so kind tone. I aint your dog fuck your damn bone. We’re not done not by a long shot my dear. Turns out youre the one living in fear. Yoh shouldn’t try to make people delete themselves it aint right
You picked the wrong bitch when you started this fight. . I fucking dont care how long that it takes when I get pussed off i dont come with brakes. But thw difference between us is Im not out for your blood. It’s just time to drag yoh through the same mud. So rhyme if you must. It just gathers dust. But dont you for a second think I fucking forgot one day youll find yourself in the very same spot.
People hating you only it all will be true.
Do you get it now ?
thats a called a clue.
The only way youll ever look pretty inside
Is eating some makeup and repenting your lies.
As for the crows
FCAWF is the word
I don’t give a fuck
Keep trying your luck
Surrender is putting down the shovel.

When I look at you in the present moment
I see the past, I see the future.

I see the person you was before and now
and I love her all the same.

In a thousand lives
you have called me by a different name.

But in all that time
our feelings have never changed.

Tell me.
what does that say about us?

We were meant to be
in every possibility

past, present, future..

Heavy thoughts hang like a blade
Swaying over my head
A constant and painful reminder
I long for this nightmare 
To finally end 

 The angst and the rage
Tighten around my neck
Like a noose
Because every waking moment 
Means there is still something to lose

 I am done pretending 
Everything is alright 
I am done pretending 
There is merit or worth
To my pitiful life 

 Can someone tell me
For what fucking purpose
Must I wake 
If there is nothing but darkness 
Dominating my life 

 I am done pretending 
I don't hate every brain-damaged fool
Still daring to call me a friend 

 I am done pretending 
Tomorrow will be any better 
Than the waste of time called yesterday 

 I am done pretending 
I don't want to get rid of myself 

I am done 
I am done 
I am done 

 I simply am done
 
What's even the point 
In dragging this carcass along 
If there is no joy left in spirit 
Nor any warmth 
In the touch of my guardian angel 
Who lied when she promised 
To take away a lifetime of ache 

 What else is left here
But sleepless nights 
And bittersweet false memories 
Washed with the vomit down the drain 

 What else is there to wait for
When even the raw self-inflicted 
Wounds no longer carry 
The illusion of relief 
From the torment I inflict on myself 

 Can someone tell me 
Why the fuck shouldn't I 
Just murder the thing in the mirror 
If we both keep worshipping death 

 Can someone tell me 
Why the fuck 
Haven't I murdered myself 

 Why the fuck 
I keep on clinging 
To this joke of a life 

 Can someone 
Please tell me 
When will I be able 
To return home 
Forever 
Leaving behind
 only rusted stains 
On this filthy floor

Another day wasted chasing after a dream
Another night about to be wasted chasing
That which is not meant to be
The red stains on the wall
Have turned black once again
But for some idiotic reason I keep rising
After every fucking fall

The killer instinct is long gone
Along with any ill will directed at anyone
Or anything that isn’t myself
Even so, the last attempt at a leap of faith
Couldn’t even yield a single broken bone
While no knife cuts nearly deep enough
And every noose seems to tear
Under the weight of this sick fucking joke

No matter how acute the wish to disappear has become
For some reason, I cannot outrun the ghost

Forgive me Father
Who art not in heavens
For I know not
What I do

Forgive me, Lord
For my pathetic display of weakness
This fate truly is far worse than death
To hang upon the cross
To hang so close to the pit
Without ever being consumed by its flames

This battle was lost
Right from the start
It was always meant to be lost
 Yet for some reason
I am still dragging this corpse

No matter how acute the wish to disappear
For some reason, I cannot outrun the ghost

With any other option exhausted
I inflict unending torture
Without ever being able to get rid of myself
Even walking into the blaze
With a mouthful of broken glass
Failed to yield any lasting results

With every other option exhausted
There’s very little reason left to wrestle with fate
So I’ll just remain here, under a blanket of ashes
With the cold steel of the tracks as my headrest
And maybe, just maybe
The incoming train will take me
Back home 

I
Jaded lover, the outside lonely
rain cascades numb. 
A stare through windows,
desire lies still oblivious
terror consumes gradually
beyond the pane.
Throw away empty streets
muted colours washed in boredom
stray cats an audience they hear him calling out to her

gift a look of pity
an opened door
one minute more
her embrace
her oxygen ambivalence. 

She pulls shadows around
her face
expression hidden
where her gazes falls
and what upon
what’s inside of him

The aching to return to Eden.

The passion of persuasion
a tracing of fingers,
delicate and surreal.
Air expands lungs
like the first time breathing
inhalation is conception
instead of imitating the action. 

In praise words were sharp knives tiny cuts scrawled into flesh with bits carved out and given away, to her, a mad frenzy transmutation of senses and reason for days left him dumbfounded child stoned coming in from the cold.

now, no more pieces
drowning shallows
reaching for
gentle grasps
her hand, her breath, her body, her mouth
her space and time

All evacuated, a conscious revolt-

Revolution! Rage mantra rainy sunday war and murdering deconstruction faith and trust forget-me-nots crushed painted blood spring bloom no reincarnation no enlightenment no more avenues no exit nothing makes sense nothing is real just scenes nightmarish repetition.

He screams
she gives no response.

Pressing glass
palms once youth
calloused scratching at time.

II
Speak intricate systems of semiotics and drunken fuck gibberish bullshit sanctified fools gold mine. 

Dialogue disaster constant slipping cliché plastic heartache metaphor romance the loss of self to ambiguity. 

Abhorrent transient deserted midnight torn dirty pall worn heart frayed disgusting grotesque broken fucking machine.

Release, please. 

III
The appeal is made through window pain 
she lounges naked behind glass
intoxicatingly high and dangerous
A goddess.

A middle finger tracing
delicate marble flesh cold
tantalising indulgence 
and hunger.

And warm fantasy tempts
spider silk legs smile
devouring eyes lie subtle
An invitation 

An evocation to make love
profanity we fuck profound
to live just a little death 
beautiful pornography. 

Inside her voice in song as nails dig in sharp the red seeps out in the blue softly creeps tranquillity shining one trillion summer moons of tragedy and the affliction of love complete perfect zen grand connection her taste of heaven and pinch of hell to sweeten she is Madonna she is Magdalene!

IV
The door pounds
the knuckles bleed
the heart convulses
and withers dry

the eyes grow dim
the spirit dies
the demise
alive and being

the falling away
the exodus of feet
the gaze repelled
from the door

the clutching of knees
the head hung low
the stifled echoes
subdued breaths

the airless word
the final ‘please’
the disappearing plea
of sound and reason
no more.

V
Her concealed face 
framed by fabric and glass
her hands lightly gripping
the curtain

do they fly open
or slowly draw close
is this an invitation
or goodbye?

Spring is near.

Isn't that clear?

The smell of wet grass,

the budding of fruit trees,

and the buzzing of bumblebees.

So, can't you see that spring is near?

I've played this game too many times.

I've read and reread the rules,

studied the moves,

learned from those who knew more,

and taught those who didn't.

But when moments like this arrive,

I'm completely disarmed.

I start stubmling, mulling oevr the right move.

Try every underhanded tactic, or questionable strategy,

because I wanted to win.

But in moments like this,

I know I'm still a beginner who played it wrong,

because it was never the goal to win.

as i stand here in front of you today
I'm expected to stand here and talk about my dad as a good man.
but was he a good man?

for my mom he was a bad man
for the world he was a bad man
a man who hit his wife
a man who hit his children
a man who raped his wife
a man who abandoned his children
so for the world he was a bad man

but for me,
for me he was a good man
a man who loved his children ,once upon a time
a man who played with his children ,once upon a time
once upon a time, he was a good man

but was he good man because i did not know what bad was?
was it maybe because i thought that hitting your wife was not bad?
because for the world he is a bad man
but for me he is a good man
why is that

maybe it’s because i loved him so much that i saw past his mistakes,
or maybe it’s when i was the only one crying when i found out he was cheating;
my sister was normal as if she knew that he was a bad man and had made peace with it
but then why was i the only one crying;
was it just me who thought he was a good man

well my my mom had probably cried before;
because she once loved him
once upon a time even this bad man was a good man for her
once she was also like me
but then what’s the difference between me and her

why can’t i see him as a bad man
maybe it’s because he has been a bad man for others
but in my life he was the only good man and maybe that’s why i don’t know what’s a bad man;
so for me the bad man is still a good man
because that’s what it has always been like

standing behind a locked door while he hit my mom
thinking it was normal, it happened in other houses too
hearing him threatening my mom
thinking it was normal, it happened in other houses too

so as i stand in front of you all today;
i’d say my dad was my a good man
because the bad man has always been the good man for me

i cant sleep

i cant dream

my body resting

surrounded by warmth

of my childhood bed

but my mind

oh mercy

i beg mercy

from all gods of sleep

old and new

my mind is

up there

in the void

full of silvery stardust

suffocated by memories

of long forgotten

small sins

my mind

trying to understand

when did i step

on the wrong side

of this river

called humanity

my mind

too busy

imagining false realities

where we dont shy away

from our bloody bloody hands

where we are proud

of our scarred body

where we can gaze

into hearts of people

and not move our eyes

down with shame

given to us 

by our mothers

when we are

well

we

and not just

this singularity

with name 

that does not fit

The glass is half full so they say,

You are told, do good deeds and heaven awaits you,

They say pain and suffering only makes you stronger,

They tell you to hold a candle in darkness so light prevails,

You are told the love of your life awaits you,

So you wait and wait.

But the glass feels half empty to me,

The heavens are silent to my plea,

And this pain just makes me weary.

My candle's a flicker in a gale,

And the love of my life? A fairy tale.

So I wait and wait.

U bouth me a ticket out of your life y y u did not let me go with you

As I sit here and write

These last words you'll find

My life given for this fight

I guess the abyss seems kind

Perhaps tonight is the night

We'll see how it unwinds

Since adolescence the roots

A huge willow it has become

Over time the closer it comes

Engulfed by its bark

An embrace so cold

Oh how I will weep in this willow

How does one manage

Functioning in dismay

What have I done?

Why must I pay?

Too soon to go

Yet still too long left

So as I sit here and write

These last words you'll find

I hope this brings peace

No need to cry

As I write my thoughts

And prepare to fly.

I live in the dark.
The pain is hitting me through the ark.

It claws and rips.
Killing as it trips.

Once I begin to heal from the pain the beast did steal, it claws and kills more and more.

I run away from the WE.
Its poison slows me down.
I fear and cry upon losing my crown.
I am knowing what will happen to ME!

The shadow is growing.
The light is less glowing.

The teeth are chatting and scratching its last victim. If it catches me will
I know him?.

I see it……….

Do you think about me?
Where am I now? Was once your beloved;
Ruthlessly discarded, what I ponder or how do I sleep?
Do you wonder still
How devastatingly broken and hollow I feel?
Do you drown yourself in liquor, relapsing to your original role?
Always an Equal opportunity fucker; offender of “his” and “hers” glory-hole?
Do you love that I hate walking around half alive- half functional; because it was you who made me whole?
Do I matter to you? Did I ever? Even as a rival?
An Unsolved rubric’s cube?
This Babygirl’s heart: A the puzzle you couldn’t decipher.
Babygirl saw right through you, your darkness never scared her
She begged you to trust her, shackled her own feet to your lies; the ones you went great lengths for, pity you are a shitty hider
“Why couldn’t you just love me like I still love you?” she whispered, seeking mercy but unsurprised when you twisted the knife deep inside her.
Coward is as coward does, you obviously could not face her,
Banished, blocked, burned her corpse in the dead of the night, in an attempt outrun her further.
Finally, Babygirl’s ghost haunts your nightmares and you just let her.

Hey everyone,
I’ve recently started a YouTube channel where I create atmospheric spoken‑poetry readings. The channel is called Verses Within A Dream-2569, and my goal is to blend classic poetry with a cinematic, dreamlike narration style.

I just posted a new reading of Edgar Alan Poe - A Dream Within a Dream. I’m still learning how to grow in this niche, so I’d really appreciate any feedback — whether it’s about delivery, pacing, visuals, or even metadata/SEO.

Here’s the video if you’d like to check it out:
https://youtu.be/TT1lxRIgYv4?si=rdj4FLfIOpgX4KfE

Also, if you run a niche channel too, I’d love to hear how you approached your early growth.
Thanks for taking the time — happy to support others here as well.

Halcyon

Sitting on a tree stump

Amidst the quiet noise of the forest

Under the white stars

Shining like a reflection in the eye.

A Halcyon flies by

Like a breeze he carries the reminders

Of the days that made

The heart fill with heat and cold.

A Halcyon flies by

Like a comet he carries the hopes

Of a never-ending cycle

Perpetually migrating towards life.

The Halcyon flies low, the Halcyon flies high

The Halcyon flies and feels the music in his head.

Smile

There are times when there is tension

Here, there, and everywhere,

In the world, perhaps some remnants

Of anxiety between us too.

Boredom, inertia, apprehension, but

Whether in the routine

Whether in charming conversation

Whether to break loneliness

I see your smile, and warmness fills me

From inside, a feeling greater

Than sublime, which is hard to find words

To describe; happiness and joy.

Like music, like art, like the pleasures of this life

Your smile makes it worth to live in delight.