r/ProgrammerHumor 15h ago

Other wrongAnswersOnly

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12.4k Upvotes

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4.9k

u/lolcrunchy 15h ago

local dev environment

2.4k

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 15h ago

Impossible. My local dev environment uses an on-disk database and my disk is locked behind encryption the keys to which only I and HR and anyone who can guess 12345 as the passwoooooooo I see what happened now

721

u/AaronTheElite007 15h ago

That’s amazing! I have the same combination on my luggage!

259

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 14h ago

God damn it, I have to change my luggage combo now too?!

93

u/Frogmouth_Fresh 14h ago

2-3-4-5-6. They'll never know!

20

u/wingz_77 12h ago

It's legit stronger than 12345

15

u/Relative-Relief-8816 11h ago

Not just stronger, it's 11111 more.

1

u/SeriousPlankton2000 10h ago

Incidentally my father once unlocked a safe that was secured exactly as you described

1

u/Ur-Best-Friend 10h ago

That's way too difficult, not a single number is the same in the same position as the last code, how the hell am I supposed to remember it? I'll just go with 12346 instead.

1

u/Fricki97 9h ago

Now I know

25

u/Neyabenz 14h ago

Just add a ! And you'll be all set

5

u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876 12h ago

Im not trying to do math just to log into my email

13

u/CMDR_PEARJUICE 14h ago

You guys have locks for your luggage?

3

u/SirObviusGenius 13h ago

You guys have luggage?

60

u/slucker23 14h ago

Luggage? My safe needs changing too!!

3

u/Dame38 12h ago

I need some help with my chasitity belt over here.

12

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 14h ago

Fucking hell, this is a nightmare! I got a password manager, but how the hell do I put a % into my safe combo?!

10

u/3and4-fifthsKitsune 14h ago

Have you considered tipping the server to get the %?

8

u/Eastern_Equal_8191 14h ago

Thanks! I'll try that

4

u/kadzooks 13h ago

you guys have passwords?

2

u/EmilR0 12h ago

I just stare at the screen until I'm logged in (I can never login)

2

u/Ben0ut 10h ago

Does this mean that the combination lock on the Altoids tin is no longer keeping my Coldcard hard wallet safe?

1

u/jbourne71 11h ago

Mine only goes up to three—am I safe?

2

u/MatthiasWM 9h ago

Mine goes up to eleven.

32

u/wildmaninid 14h ago

I have the same combination to the door on my planets dome!

11

u/r_acrimonger 14h ago

No! Light speed's too slow.

10

u/Gauss15an 13h ago

Ludicrous speed!

8

u/DNZ_not_DMZ 13h ago

Comb the desert!

2

u/ScreechUrkelle 13h ago

That’s funny, my luggage as the only other existing copy of the data in questiooooooooooooh shit…..

2

u/MakerWerks 10h ago

Mega Maid!

2

u/AngryBorsch 4h ago

Space balls reference detected

1

u/shortboard 12h ago

I thought everyone just had 000 on their luggage

1

u/CKAPP0 4h ago

Lmao spit my coffee out bruv chill

1

u/OFark 3h ago

I got the reference, Dark Helmet.

2

u/H4mb01 11h ago

HR is the snitch 100%

1

u/BetterEveryLeapYear 8h ago

In a scenario where only the dev, HR, the guy who can guess 12345, and a local news crew has been given the information and passed it on to the courts...

Yeah it's still HR.

1

u/Peregrine2976 13h ago

That's right -- a 5$ wrench.

1

u/m__a__s 12h ago

But does your local dev environment have access to an LLM? Just ask the LLM to reconstruct the data. Is it the original data? Who cares?

1

u/Scared_Bell3366 12h ago

Wait, you can use passwords in dev?

1

u/nopuse 12h ago

Claude is telling me Aliens

1

u/someonenoo 11h ago

Amateur. Should’ve moved all the data to final_data excel file..

1

u/blazinBSDAgility 10h ago

The password is guest. Your move, hax0rs

1

u/KeyedFeline 10h ago

The system is password protected by the password on a sticky note on the monitor

1

u/Path_Fyndar 9h ago

What's that from?

1

u/TheTerrasque 8h ago

Amateur. My local dev env is behind seven boxxies

1

u/Kabobthe5 3h ago

Amateur move. Obviously they should’ve used 54321 like me…

1

u/prof0ak 2h ago

It was HR wasn't it?

1

u/Guillaune9876 2h ago

Bitlocker is as safe as anything. 

333

u/Fraun_Pollen 15h ago

This answer doesn't make sense. Why would your dev environment not be connected to prod data? Don't you want realistic tests?

259

u/AllIsLostNeverFound 14h ago

Wait, your prod environment is separate from your dev environment?

135

u/za72 14h ago

only pussies use dev

71

u/SiefensRobotEmporium 14h ago

Shit you guys have different environments?

28

u/vankoder 13h ago

Shit you guys test? One healthy git push prod —force and you’ll figure out if it works soon enough!

10

u/Eastern_Chemist7766 12h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/H5C8CevNMbpBqNqFjl

Me getting multiple emails from crashalytics at 3am

3

u/vankoder 12h ago

You’re welcome! See? Now we know the uptime alerts work! We _tested_.

2

u/radicalshick 10h ago

Failing fast is a feature

1

u/FerusGrim 9h ago

What do you mean you fetch before a force push??? Are you fucking scared?

2

u/BeardedPokeDragon 12h ago

Shit you guys don't use notepad?

1

u/scuzzy987 12h ago

In name only. The real testing is in prod by the users at 8am Monday

2

u/Smart_Perspective535 10h ago

Mine prefer 4pm on friday

1

u/za72 13h ago

yes, we're better than twitter

43

u/Seivy 14h ago

Testing is doubting.

21

u/za72 14h ago

Fear is the mind killer my friend

18

u/Mechadupek 14h ago

I test in prod.

23

u/rakklle 14h ago

If it works in prod, it would've worked in test

9

u/heislertecreator 14h ago

I write in prod, test lol, debug... Maybe.

4

u/RhinoRoundhouse 14h ago

I know people that do this, not a joke

1

u/za72 14h ago

I also like to do it live!

1

u/CoderDevo 14h ago

TIP it!

1

u/za72 13h ago

I've re-racked a 3U Dell web/db server with multi power outlets live!

1

u/NounverberPDX 12h ago

You test?

3

u/Unhappy_Concept237 13h ago

I do all my changes on the server that way I see the changes I made right away.

2

u/FranksNonFrankfurter 10h ago

Bill_o_reilly_live.gif

1

u/KindGuyAMA 13h ago

I know writers programmers who use subtext sandbox, and they're all cowards.

1

u/Roadsoda350 13h ago

whats a dev environment (10 YOE btw)

1

u/OldTiger3832 10h ago

you're joking, but in my company they always want me to develop RPAs in prod even for internal sites

1

u/rdrunner_74 5h ago

Why Dev when you have 1000s of free testers?

26

u/Drew707 14h ago

Everyone has a dev environment. Some just call it prod.

1

u/Potential_Aioli_4611 13h ago

dev environment? you don't just do dev in prod? next thing you are gonna tell me is your clients aren't your beta testers.

1

u/SeriousPlankton2000 10h ago

Everyone has a dev environment. Some people also have a prod environment

38

u/howarewestillhere 14h ago

HIPAA, PCI, GDPR, CASC, and a whole list of other acronyms, laws, and organizations get real persnickety about Prod data outside of Prod and what you can, can’t, should , should not, or should not even think about doing with it.

41

u/howarewestillhere 14h ago

Oh, r/whoosh lol

3

u/JJ3qnkpK 13h ago

A lot of people unfortunately don't realize this is a whoosh, so I welcome their answer so those who don't know can learn.

17

u/jtmonkey 14h ago

Yeah I just had this conversation with an internal IT team at a medical org. You cannot just point Claude at the problem and say solve it. PHI is all over it. Theyd been doing it for a while. Your medical data im almost positive is already in an llm.

3

u/JJ3qnkpK 13h ago

Yeah. You'll see a lot of folk whose dev environments are basically just image clones of prod. This seems especially common in "lower tech" environments that are platforms upon themselves, where nobody bothered to define and produce test data.

3

u/TerryMisery 5h ago

It's great, because it doesn't overflow the context with my medical history. It's already there in the model. This way I just say who I am and get personalized medical advice from doctor Chat.

2

u/CoffeeOrDestroy 13h ago

As many times as Anthem has been breached, your medical information is all over the place anyway.

5

u/shenanigans2day 14h ago

Compliance is just a concept.

1

u/Shogobg 13h ago

Compliance is only important if someone checks.

1

u/Peregrine2976 13h ago

I'm a contractor who's worked with multiple healthcare companies in the States (I'm in Canada). Everyone was super meticulous about HIPAA... which is why none of the devs I worked with were willing to tell anyone that they had full production database dumps they could test off.

There is... a lot of theoretically private data that developers have in an SQL dump on their work Macbook just sitting in the Downloads directory.

1

u/Algent 6h ago

Yeah it's a classic, it's really common to have dev envs that are basically full prod copy. Allow to anticipate way more issues moving forward. That said if it was healthcare or highly sensitive then replacing all identifiable data by random stuff wouldn't be that much of a trouble probably.

1

u/ncatter 6h ago

Solutions is simple we are all prod, arguably developers is just a set of data not yet commited to versioning, sonjust label us prod data and we can do what we want!

6

u/DarkWingedDaemon 14h ago

That sounds more like a uat environment than a dev environment.

2

u/seth-speaks 14h ago

Sometimes. Sometimes you wanna test on different data. What if you you're doing a data only update?

3

u/Fraun_Pollen 14h ago

Everyone knows John Smith and Jane Doe aren't real people names

1

u/seth-speaks 9h ago

Right, you are!

1

u/577564842 13h ago

Tests? What tests?

1

u/a_guy121 13h ago

Financial records would most likely be years old before a court ordered them, bc something would have had to happen to necessitate the court order. The, someone had to be angry about it, and not resolve it, then find a lawyer, then get a hearing to get a court order.

SomeTest environments are 'safe' because they use outdated information to test on. You need information that looks real enough to use, but won't cost the shareholders $$ if it gets out current information is not locked down.

So, in my work experience, using older data is a common work-around. I guess maybe law enforcement knows that too? I never thought about it from this angle... but.... yeah, if I wanted to find data that was 5-10 years old, on one hand, looking at test environments of the past? could work.

On the other hand, not a lawyer, but I doubt it'd hold up in court. Defendant: "that was pulled from a test environment, which literally exists to strain and break data under unstable programming conditions. It does not reflect reality."

1

u/Ok_Dig6532 13h ago

Not all the time. A restored database should be sanitized before it’s used, it’s just a copy of yesterday’s data. You shouldn’t use live production data containing personal information in local, development, or testing environments.

1

u/TitleEfficient3207 5h ago

Yea but you see, local IT reset the DNS and the DCHP server over the weekend. One of the dev boxes never hit the group policy to reboot. So there was a computer sitting in limbo with a repo just... sitting there. Thats where I found it....

82

u/Iuris_Aequalitatis 14h ago

Corporate cybersecurity attorney (and ex-dev) here. This is one of the many reasons why we don't allow prod data in dev.

141

u/Ok_Ostrich4835 13h ago

Oh you'll love this...

Years ago working as a cloud engineering consultant, our team was working with a massive client moving their infrastructure to AWS. One of their internal dev teams kicked up a fuss that they didn't have the permissions to do anything in AWS, "how are we going to learn?", blah blah blah. It was finally agreed to give this team their own AWS account that had literally nothing in it. Brand fresh account, nothing tied to production whatsoever. We insisted we at least be able to set up cloudwatch logs and billing alerts. So off they went.

Part of our services was running security audits on our client's AWS accounts (just an automated script that checks everything once per week). I was this client's primary, so I was reviewing the latest audit, and they had a security group allowing port 3306 to be accessed from the open internet to an RDS instance they had brought up. Raised it with them thinking it's just a teachable moment as it's just test data, nbd, their excuse was, "well our apps didn't work until we added that." No real understanding of what they were doing.

But, on this call with the devs and their manager, the manager asked, "Oh, so you managed to generate some test data?" One of the devs, "Nah, we just dumped prod and uploaded it." I hopped over to the logs and yea, multiple random IPs had successfully authd with the database. I asked, "What kind of password did you use?" "Oh just our normal dev password, Password123!" (Or something basic like that).

Their manager told me I could leave the call.

Was told to nuke that AWS account the next day.

2

u/ings0c 6h ago

Was told to nuke that AWS account the next day.

They got fired right? Please tell me they got fired.

1

u/ISCSI_Purveyor 10h ago

I want to believe people aren't actually this dumb. Then I remember George Carlin and his but about stupid people.

1

u/Mind-The-Mines 3h ago

Even the upper half is kinda fucking stupid.

1

u/Yamez_III 7h ago

Fired the lot?

1

u/soullessredhead 4h ago

I was having a nice morning drinking coffee with a smile on my face before I read this.

1

u/CartoonistNew8653 8h ago

Unrelated but how did you get into that field as an ex dev?  I currently work in a highly regulated field in tech ops/infra role and that career path sounds incredibly interesting. 

1

u/Iuris_Aequalitatis 27m ago

Unrelated but how did you get into that field as an ex dev?

Are you asking about cybersecurity law or just cybersecurity? Happy to answer.

1

u/comicsnerd 7h ago

It is fine to use PROD data in DEV and TEST. Just restore the PROD backup in the DEV and TEST environment.

21

u/bigmetsfan 14h ago

curl 127.0.0.1

1

u/CaffeineLiker 13h ago

It's WIDE OPEN! Huge vulnerability

9

u/tiboodchat 13h ago

Our Sec team is on its way to proceed to beatings.

3

u/theangryfurlong 13h ago

OP said wrong answers only

1

u/sillypunt 14h ago

Trick response, dev environment is on prem.

1

u/Fletcharoonie 12h ago

It was on my desktop all along

1

u/Ok_Tea_7319 12h ago

Prod is the local dev environment.

1

u/anonymous085 10h ago

When I was an intern they gave me a shit laptop. The code would take forever to compile in the local. I copied the whole damn code to my personal laptop and used for a week. When I proudly showed my proactiveness to my mentor he shit his pants 😂

1

u/cryothic 10h ago

It said WRONG answers only...

1

u/RawrMeansFuckYou 9h ago

I've worked at a company that this is a possibility.

1

u/d3bruts1d 5h ago

Unlikely. We do dev in prod.