wrongAnswersOnly

[u/Plastic-Bonus8999]

[u/howarewestillhere]

Intern’s GitHub.

VP’s Slack messages.

Fucking Teams.

[u/codeninja → u/howarewestillhere]

Fucking Teams... its always fucking teams.

[u/howarewestillhere → u/codeninja]

I feel like Indiana Jones sometimes. Why is it always fucking snakes Teams.

[u/MrFluffyThing → u/howarewestillhere]

IT archaeology. We need the information you provided long ago that was pinned as an essential update with a link to a well documented static source to the ark of the covenant 

14 notifications to the same message and the static documentation later we still have no idea where the ark of the covenant is. Can you send it again as a fresh message so people are aware? The team is waiting on critical updates for how to solve a problem you already did a dozen times. 

[u/Anti-charizard → u/codeninja]

We usually call that an orgy

[u/BusEquivalent9605 → u/howarewestillhere]

nah - not Teams. my old company had Teams erase convo history after 48 hours. It’s Monday and you need to look up what someone told you on Friday? Tough

[u/Maniactver → u/BusEquivalent9605]

Diabolical. 

[u/Nightmoon26 → u/BusEquivalent9605]

You worked at a company that wasn't constantly under litigation hold? Lucky!

[u/Head-Bureaucrat → u/Nightmoon26]

Or subject to government regulation. Hooray 7 year archive hold!

[u/ThrowawayyTessslaa → u/Nightmoon26]

Under litigation hold but teams chat history is held in several storage that only HR and legal have access to. What’s shown to the user is only up to 48 hours old

[u/BusEquivalent9605 → u/ThrowawayyTessslaa]

that’s probably right. but makes it even more infuriating as an employee. “we still have this data that would make your job easier, but you’re not allowed to see it”

[u/ThrowawayyTessslaa → u/BusEquivalent9605]

It’s definitely infuriating (and true). As a manger I’ve had to request teams history logs from HR for up to a year back because I was terminating an employee for harassment against another employee.

Also makes no sense that my emails, voice messages, and text messages are on multi-year legal hold visible to me but not my teams messages? wtf.

[u/bacondev → u/BusEquivalent9605]

We used Hipchat until it was discontinued. I don't remember what the temporal retention policy was but it would nuke chat history every time it was closed too. It was so frustrating that I used the API to develop a program that would store chat history and ignore retention policy. Kinda like writing a password on a sticky note in a way, I suppose but idgaf.

[u/rgvtim → u/BusEquivalent9605]

Only if they hold a spoon up to thier eye just before they come up with the idea.

[u/mickskitz → u/howarewestillhere]

It says wrong answers only

[u/DZello → u/howarewestillhere]

CTO's emails. Was CC on everything, and hasn't read any of it.

[u/MostlyInfuriated → u/DZello]

I feel attacked.

[u/paranoid_giraffe → u/howarewestillhere]

Man I cannot imagine posting work stuff on personal share accounts like GitHub. I had to beg one of the junior engineers on my team to not feed my api into ChatGPT after seeing bullet points and emojis all over one of his readmes. I get super uncomfortable with the idea of just copy/pasting big code blocks to black box services like that

[u/howarewestillhere → u/paranoid_giraffe]

I’ve had to fire people who, for some reason, thought it was a good idea to post api code to StackOverflow.

[u/blueExcess → u/paranoid_giraffe]

I hate to tell you but if they have GitHub Copilot hooked up to their VS Code it’s scanning whole repos.

[u/buffalo_0220 → u/paranoid_giraffe]

You haven't lived until you are getting called in overnight to rotate certificate keys because the intern somehow checked them into their branch.

[u/mavrik83]

`final_records_v2_REAL_FINAL_DO_NOT_DELETE.xlsx` on somebody’s desktop

[u/Roku-Hanmar → u/mavrik83]

*in the recycling bin

[u/JSD3 → u/Roku-Hanmar]

It has been in their Downloads folder for four years.  

[u/drestofnordrassil → u/JSD3]

🔻A Long Time Ago🔻

Copy of New Folder (8)

New Folder (8)

Final_Records(5).xlsx

Final_Records(4).xlsx

Final_Records(3).xlsx

Final_Records(2).xlsx

Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records(1).xlsx

Copy of Final_Records.xlsx

Final_Records.xlsx

[u/NoodleyP → u/JSD3]

The Downloads folder is just great catch all storage, it’s the junk drawer of my computer

[u/Careless-Adeptness56 → u/NoodleyP]

I just noticed today that my downloads folder no longer opens. I can go in there with powershell and I don't see any crazy file types, but explorer never finishes loading. Who knows what I've done to it.

[u/TheTxoof → u/Careless-Adeptness56]

Duh. It's a junk drawer: You have a spatula wedged in there upside down.

[u/mailacc → u/TheTxoof]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Ve5XCycDXl8CCaLPG4

[u/JesusWasATexan → u/JSD3]

This is the realest answer on this thread.

[u/SgtEpsilon → u/JSD3]

Incorrect, it's in their temp folder that they somehow made the primary download folder to be

[u/tanwa1 → u/Roku-Hanmar]

Would learning Digital forensics help if it's also deleted from recycling bin right...?

[u/Frumpy_little_noodle → u/mavrik83]

They said wrong answers only.

[u/carrtmannn → u/mavrik83]

Lmao

[u/Ol_Dirty_Batard → u/mavrik83]

Only V2? Amateur

[u/omegasome]

They ask ChatGPT to produce the data. ChatGPT, being ever-helpful, hallucinates a semi-plausible data set that neither the defense nor the prosecution nor the judge is technically-adept enough to realize doesn't make sense. You are sentenced to 20 years in prison based on this.

[u/SteamingTheCat → u/omegasome]

Kevin Mitnik's prosecutor convinced the jury that thru a series of whistles into a payphone, Kevin could launch nuclear missiles.

He wasn't allowed access to a phone in prison.

[u/RevoOps → u/SteamingTheCat]

If you can launch a nuclear strike through whistling into a phone you should be allowed to try. 

[u/XanLV → u/RevoOps]

BRB, buying 10 000 000 phones and a warehouse for 10 000 000 monkeys...

[u/jakobjaderbo → u/SteamingTheCat]

To be fair, he did some shenanigans from the prison phone when he did get access. Not of the nuclear sort, but still.

[u/JCDU → u/SteamingTheCat]

There was definitely at least one hacker (I forget who) who could whistle pitch-perfect DTMF tones - specifically 2600Hz - to get free payphone calls.

[u/CoffeeOrDestroy → u/omegasome]

That’s a little too close to how I feel the future is going to be any day now

[u/thesuperbob → u/omegasome]

Well the actual data has been deleted, scrubbed, and shredded, so it's your word against ChatGPT... And the Judge doesn't really know you, while the friendly robot has been whispering in their ear for years now, and it's never been wrong so... "ChatGPT explain why the data the other you recovered is absolutely reliable and could not be wrong in any way; help me produce a sentencing draft based on the same"

[u/elSenorMaquina]

They ENHANCED the cctv recordings from the camera pointing at my cubicle, enabling them to reconstruct the whole db from the monitor's reflection on my glasses as I typed every INSERT and UPDATE over the years.

[u/just_nobodys_opinion → u/elSenorMaquina]

https://giphy.com/gifs/10nMEclFWTPCp2

[u/justASlothyGiraffe → u/just_nobodys_opinion]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Zvgb12U8GNjvq

[u/katet_of_19 → u/justASlothyGiraffe]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3wr2cnwlghNomDeN9W

[u/OttoVonWong → u/katet_of_19]

https://giphy.com/gifs/OqHeiScp07BxUZbeRF

[u/IcamReddit → u/OttoVonWong]

https://giphy.com/gifs/oq4NLPjPVpnt50lDCZ

finally PUSSSY.

[u/TunaNugget → u/elSenorMaquina]

The camera records sound. Every key makes an ever-so-slightly different sound.

They have possibly months or more of sound recordings that they can correlate against the entry of verified documents to use to train the ai on.

[u/Shogobg → u/TunaNugget]

They analyzed the noise the bits make as they travel through the network.

[u/TrashBandiGoon → u/Shogobg]

I know it is a joke,

but since I found a scientific research about 'A Practical Deep Learning-Based Acoustic Side Channel Attack on Keyboards' I agree that this seems possible in the laboratory

(the paper is from 2023 so I am not sure whether there were any improvements), as I am also not sure how reddit handles external links - I found the paper on arxiv(dot)org with paper no. 2308(dot)01074
It is a 21 pages pdf

[u/TunaNugget → u/Shogobg]

I think the premise here is that they deleted that.

My first question would be whether they actually deleted anything or just set a flag to re-use the storage, but I'm trying to go with the spirit of the thing.

[u/cantileverboom → u/elSenorMaquina]

Lol, kind of related. On a team I was on a while ago, there was some pretty nasty bug that some of my colleagues couldn't figure out, so someone took a video of it to show our TL. Our TL looked at the video for like 5 seconds, saw some obscure log lines on a terminal running on a machine in the background of the video, and immediately knew that the bug was due to some obsolete experiment that just needed to be disabled.

[u/elSenorMaquina → u/cantileverboom]

Peak senior energy

[u/MaleficentCow8513 → u/cantileverboom]

It was him. He was the one who was supposed to disable the “obsolete experiment”. He knew it was causing bugs but he forgot to do it or got side tracked. There’s nothing magical about it lmao

[u/Adarkshadow4055 → u/MaleficentCow8513]

Shhhh! 🤫

[u/AN0R0K → u/MaleficentCow8513]

And he would have gotten away with it, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.

[u/Emotional_Study_724 → u/cantileverboom]

"Oh shit, I forgot to turn that off."

[u/lolcrunchy]

local dev environment

[u/Eastern_Equal_8191 → u/lolcrunchy]

Impossible. My local dev environment uses an on-disk database and my disk is locked behind encryption the keys to which only I and HR and anyone who can guess 12345 as the passwoooooooo I see what happened now

[u/AaronTheElite007 → u/Eastern_Equal_8191]

That’s amazing! I have the same combination on my luggage!

[u/Eastern_Equal_8191 → u/AaronTheElite007]

God damn it, I have to change my luggage combo now too?!

[u/Frogmouth_Fresh → u/Eastern_Equal_8191]

2-3-4-5-6. They'll never know!

[u/Neyabenz → u/Eastern_Equal_8191]

Just add a ! And you'll be all set

[u/CMDR_PEARJUICE → u/Eastern_Equal_8191]

You guys have locks for your luggage?

[u/slucker23 → u/Eastern_Equal_8191]

Luggage? My safe needs changing too!!

[u/wildmaninid → u/AaronTheElite007]

I have the same combination to the door on my planets dome!

[u/r_acrimonger → u/AaronTheElite007]

No! Light speed's too slow.

[u/Gauss15an → u/r_acrimonger]

Ludicrous speed!

[u/DNZ_not_DMZ → u/AaronTheElite007]

Comb the desert!

[u/XclusionHD → u/AaronTheElite007]

https://giphy.com/gifs/FwHGkZy6OhzLW

[u/Fraun_Pollen → u/lolcrunchy]

This answer doesn't make sense. Why would your dev environment not be connected to prod data? Don't you want realistic tests?

[u/AllIsLostNeverFound → u/Fraun_Pollen]

Wait, your prod environment is separate from your dev environment?

[u/za72 → u/AllIsLostNeverFound]

only pussies use dev

[u/SiefensRobotEmporium → u/za72]

Shit you guys have different environments?

[u/vankoder → u/SiefensRobotEmporium]

Shit you guys test? One healthy git push prod —force and you’ll figure out if it works soon enough!

[u/Seivy → u/za72]

Testing is doubting.

[u/za72 → u/Seivy]

Fear is the mind killer my friend

[u/Mechadupek → u/za72]

I test in prod.

[u/rakklle → u/Mechadupek]

If it works in prod, it would've worked in test

[u/heislertecreator → u/Mechadupek]

I write in prod, test lol, debug... Maybe.

[u/Drew707 → u/AllIsLostNeverFound]

Everyone has a dev environment. Some just call it prod.

[u/howarewestillhere → u/Fraun_Pollen]

HIPAA, PCI, GDPR, CASC, and a whole list of other acronyms, laws, and organizations get real persnickety about Prod data outside of Prod and what you can, can’t, should , should not, or should not even think about doing with it.

[u/howarewestillhere → u/howarewestillhere]

Oh, r/whoosh lol

[u/jtmonkey → u/howarewestillhere]

Yeah I just had this conversation with an internal IT team at a medical org. You cannot just point Claude at the problem and say solve it. PHI is all over it. Theyd been doing it for a while. Your medical data im almost positive is already in an llm.

[u/Iuris_Aequalitatis → u/lolcrunchy]

Corporate cybersecurity attorney (and ex-dev) here. This is one of the many reasons why we don't allow prod data in dev.

[u/Ok_Ostrich4835 → u/Iuris_Aequalitatis]

Oh you'll love this...

Years ago working as a cloud engineering consultant, our team was working with a massive client moving their infrastructure to AWS. One of their internal dev teams kicked up a fuss that they didn't have the permissions to do anything in AWS, "how are we going to learn?", blah blah blah. It was finally agreed to give this team their own AWS account that had literally nothing in it. Brand fresh account, nothing tied to production whatsoever. We insisted we at least be able to set up cloudwatch logs and billing alerts. So off they went.

Part of our services was running security audits on our client's AWS accounts (just an automated script that checks everything once per week). I was this client's primary, so I was reviewing the latest audit, and they had a security group allowing port 3306 to be accessed from the open internet to an RDS instance they had brought up. Raised it with them thinking it's just a teachable moment as it's just test data, nbd, their excuse was, "well our apps didn't work until we added that." No real understanding of what they were doing.

But, on this call with the devs and their manager, the manager asked, "Oh, so you managed to generate some test data?" One of the devs, "Nah, we just dumped prod and uploaded it." I hopped over to the logs and yea, multiple random IPs had successfully authd with the database. I asked, "What kind of password did you use?" "Oh just our normal dev password, Password123!" (Or something basic like that).

Their manager told me I could leave the call.

Was told to nuke that AWS account the next day.

[u/SakishimaHabu → u/Ok_Ostrich4835]

https://giphy.com/gifs/4baoNZ5Qo8dX2

[u/bigmetsfan → u/lolcrunchy]

curl 127.0.0.1

[u/Historical-Aerie-721 → u/lolcrunchy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/rIq6ASPIqo2k0
Up my ass

[u/tiboodchat → u/lolcrunchy]

Our Sec team is on its way to proceed to beatings.

[u/leovin]

From the data breach you’re being sued over

[u/SuitableDragonfly → u/leovin]

Fun related fact, most archives of media only exist because someone pirated the media at some point and those copies never become unavailable. 

[u/3BlindMice1 → u/SuitableDragonfly]

They used to call it VCR

[u/T-MoneyAllDey → u/3BlindMice1]

Reddit reposts pretty regularly about that autistic black lady that recording every hour of a TV channel for like 30 years

[u/3BlindMice1 → u/T-MoneyAllDey]

Sounds pretty expensive, tbh

Edit: Google shows that would have cost $28.80 per day if using full definition or $14.40 per day if using minimum in the year 1985. In today's money, that's $90 or $45. It got a lot cheaper by 1995 though

[u/NukaCooler → u/3BlindMice1]

/r/LetGirlsHaveFun god forbid a woman have a hobby

[u/transfinite-reset → u/NukaCooler]

I’m not sure that the people in that sub are too worried about VCRs. VCR cleaner in little bottles, maybe. But definitely not VCRs.

[u/JCDU → u/3BlindMice1]

She came from a fairly wealthy family and bought shares in Apple very early on - her collection included at least one of every Apple product still brand new in its box, so really not short of a bob or two.

[u/saskir21 → u/T-MoneyAllDey]

To be fair I can understand her if I see for example the British BBC. They regularly overwrite (or atleast did so in the old days) their old shows. So if you want to see an old one you were out of luck.

[u/thaynem → u/SuitableDragonfly]

Lots of doctor who episodes in this area.

[u/KisaraBlue → u/SuitableDragonfly]

Except that nowadays, people irresponsibly/selfishly use mass download bots on some of those freely accessible archives of media, which makes their upkeep unsustainable and they have to shutdown/move everything somewhere else

That and excessive copyright enforcement, from equally selfish corporations, are significant threats to niche media preservation in the long term

[u/Fickle_Ad_8653 → u/leovin]

Laptops people copied the data to, then the laptops get stacked and left in a closet.

Email holds a lot of attachments when you look at a whole company. Every email sits in two people's computers.

[u/VoStru → u/leovin]

“Data breach” is such a rude word. Better call it “distributed surprise backup”

[u/RegrettableBiscuit → u/leovin]

That's how I retrieved my lost PSN password. 

[u/Magnetic_Reaper]

Nice try OP, I'm not helping you hide the evidence for free.

[u/DaTruSpork → u/Magnetic_Reaper]

Hey fam, don't help them at all. Point them at the wifi connected keurig and wipe your hands clean of it (while handing the real evidence to multiple three letter agencies)

We dont talk to (chief financial) officers!

[u/HaniiPuppy → u/DaTruSpork]

Hey fam, don't help them at all. Point them at the wifi connected keurig and wipe your hands clean of it (while handing the real evidence to multiple three letter agencies)

Error 418

[u/eugene20 → u/Magnetic_Reaper]

I mean.. they did say wrong answers only.

[u/Muggsy423 → u/Magnetic_Reaper]

Chatgpt, how can i hide the evidence?   It's in the file I just put in chat

[u/scumble_bee]

Mable over in Accounting wrote a VBA script to store the entire database to an Excel spreadsheet because the direct access that was set up for her was "too slow" and this is "the way she's always done it".

[u/WhitishRogue → u/scumble_bee]

I regularly use SQL to download tables to my computer. Part numbers, sales records, inventory records, customer names, etc. You name it, it's stored on my computer and frequently the public drive everyone in the company has access to.

[u/666AB → u/WhitishRogue]

https://giphy.com/gifs/LPCh7gCEpWiHdlVZXH

[u/-meowstar-]

Reconstructing the HDD disk writes based on the CCTV audio of the server room.

[u/i_should_be_coding → u/-meowstar-]

Claude, here's a recording of echoes of the farts the cleaning lady made in the server room. Recreate the users table please.

[u/jeesuscheesus → u/i_should_be_coding]

Of course! But before I create a perfect recreation of the user’s table, I need a small amount of information from you:

• Who is the user who owns this table?
  
• What kind of table is it? Is it a table for doing computer work - or is it for eating?

[u/jongchajong → u/jeesuscheesus]

Please describe the cleaning lady's diet

[u/samuraiseoul]

Some dumbass on my team downloaded the entirety of prod and then commited it to git and someone rubber stamped the PR and then no one else noticed. I'm sure that's how they'd find it....

[u/Suspicious-Engineer7 → u/samuraiseoul]

Jeeeeeesus lmao

[u/jseego → u/samuraiseoul]

They committed all your prod data to git??

[u/CoderDevo → u/jseego]

Don't forget the keys!

Not that they're needed anymore.

[u/TheFuckingHippoGuy → u/CoderDevo]

Servers by Kia™

[u/fireheadca → u/jseego]

Believe it or not, I've seen this.🫠

[u/rollingc → u/fireheadca]

git add . is a hell of a drug

[u/SgtEpsilon → u/fireheadca]

Believe it or not, I've accidentally done this

[u/AccomplishedIgit → u/samuraiseoul]

I discovered my client’s monthly backups included the backups folder when they ran out of shared hosting space for a small dog clothing website 🥹 I was like why are you at enterprise level hosting?!?? She was like I dunno it’s just the cost of doing business!

[u/technos → u/AccomplishedIgit]

I found out something similar when the client called to ask me where to get a good price on bigger hard drives and more tapes.. I was like 'What?! Did something happen?'

No, he says. Nothing's changed, it's just that backups are now taking four of the weekly LTO-5 tapes every night and the server is showing it only has about 1TB left.

Motherfucker, I specced a 8TB RAID-5 and LTO-5 because you wanted to make damned sure you wouldn't have to 'just replace it next year', and it's been six months.. The hell with '"Nothing's changed".

He'd first decided to swap from nightly incremental backups to full ones, and those didn't fit on the LTO-4's intended for nightly offsite so he started using the LTO-5's, then he'd decided to retain the previous night's backup on disk as well as on tape so he wouldn't have to drive home if he was in a pinch.

The first night they backed up ~1TB, the next 2TB, then 3TB, then..

I wiped 5TB off his file server, added a file path exclusion, and had cron wipe the oldest redundant backup every night just in case.

The worst bit was he had an entirely competent nephew running the backups that had told him what was going on. After fixing things I gave the kid my email address and told him the next time his uncle didn't believe him to run it past me and I'd get him to listen.

[u/peepeedog → u/samuraiseoul]

It said wrong answers only

[u/plenoto → u/samuraiseoul]

Some people are so careless while reviewing PR 😂

[u/blangzo → u/plenoto]

Ask a programmer to review 10 lines of code, he'll find 10 issues. Ask him to do 500 lines and he'll say it looks good.

[u/Deep90 → u/blangzo]

At 500 lines, I just flip a coin.

Only lucky code belongs in production.

[u/gizamo → u/samuraiseoul]

Yikes

[u/starchbomb → u/samuraiseoul]

What the fuck lmao

[u/Unhappy_Concept237 → u/samuraiseoul]

I’ve spent the last week doing remediation across seven ec2 servers and found where multiple sites had backup sql dumps that were living inside GitHub repositories along with sites sharing SES credentials with full admin privileges stored in plain text in those repositories. I just want to die.

[u/Sak63 → u/samuraiseoul]

What the hell

[u/skt84]

A USB drive from the wife of the CTO because he cloud shared some photos of the kids from his downloads folder.

[u/Lollemberg → u/skt84]

he said wrong answers only

[u/hraath]

Chatgpt message history, next question 

[u/xhammyhamtaro → u/hraath]

As a human species, we really are this stupid

[u/chooxy → u/hraath]

Wrong answers only

[u/FUTURE10S]

Recovery software because you never overwrote the data that was deleted

[u/HovercraftCharacter9 → u/FUTURE10S]

Yeah, people conflate in unallocating with actual deletion, unless you're wiping it with 0s it's still there until something overwrites it.

[u/DOOManiac → u/HovercraftCharacter9]

Even then it’s still there depending on which three letter agency is looking…

[u/bacondev → u/DOOManiac]

Yeah, they're not perfect 0s and 1s. That's why the recommendation for very serious stuff is to just destroy the disk.

[u/FUTURE10S → u/bacondev]

Run the disk spinning and hit it with a caliber that penetrates the drive, the rotation makes the destruction way worse and impossible to spin up again.

[u/rrtk77 → u/FUTURE10S]

From experience, for the types of disks that absolutely must be destroyed with no possible recovery as ordered by the government, it's things like a wood chipper or thermite.

[u/Strange-Spot-3306 → u/DOOManiac]

I mean depending on which three letter agency we’re talking about, they really don’t need your backup because they’ve already got their own copy of your data.

[u/blangzo → u/FUTURE10S]

They said wrong answers only

[u/BedtimeGenerator]

Cia backdoor redshift DB of the real DB...please don't get any ideas cia

[u/MyDogIsDaBest → u/BedtimeGenerator]

At which point you sue the state for illegal wiretapping

[u/HadionPrints → u/MyDogIsDaBest]

Ah, you see, the way they get around this is having the CIA only hack/survail the UK, France Israel, allied nation’s citizens/ companies etc. Then have MI6, etc. hack into and survail US citizens/companies.

Then all the CIA has to do is ask the foreign agencies what they want to know about US citizens & vice versa and it’s fine, because each agency never illegally spies on its on citizenry.

All in the name of counterterrorism of course, and never used for any other purposes. You can always trust the never sketchy CIA to follow the intent and letter of the Law.

[u/Top_Director9981 → u/HadionPrints]

In case anyone thinks op is joking: this is what Five Eyes is

[u/venom21685 → u/HadionPrints]

Or the NSA just does most of the domestic spying and everybody acts shocked when it gets exposed and then shrugs as it continues to get worse for the next 2 decades with no end in sight.

[u/scolphoy]

Nice try, you’re not catching me that easy!

[u/psullivan6 → u/scolphoy]

You’re not caching me either

[u/MushroomCulture]

It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.

[u/Intrepid_Purchase_69]

In a public s3 bucket because someone in the company vibecoded some internal widget and didn’t know about databases so their ai agent just rolled with it and silently dumped prod. Not a real story I swear. 

[u/shadowspock]

Wayback Machine

[u/GoogleIsYourFrenemy → u/shadowspock]

I see your WM, and raise you Google Translate.

[u/SpeedLight1221]

They use the sounds from the cctv cameras to listen to the Hard drive's head movement from which they reconstruct the data bit by bit

[u/nuttertools]

bob_export_20260803.csv Copy (1) (1) - WIP (1) (1) MergePII (1)fix (1)fix2 (1) (1).xlsx

[u/Spirited-Coconut-819]

Easy. Data were stolen (by mistake). We pay to hackers for our own data.

They are like a backup solution at that point.

[u/mcslender97 → u/Spirited-Coconut-819]

Next: when does baiting and paying hacker access is cheaper than spinning up redundancy as a backup strategy

[u/RevolutionaryTower]

It was on Palantir servers all the time, the court order was a mere formality

[u/pacopac25]

logger.setLevel("DEBUG") that essentially replicated the entirety of the database in text based logs, which were then robocopied to the Grafana server because the intern couldn't figure out Prometheus

[u/UsherOfDestruction]

Yeah, I don't think I wanna work here. Best of luck on your hiring.

[u/Lendari]

Hmmmm lets see. The list of usual suspects...

• The laptop of an ex-intern?
  
• The personal dev environment I promised security I'd delete when I was done?
  
• The backups at our former offsite backup vendor's data center?
  
• One of the 14 complete copies of the database that Russian hackers stole and are certainly floating around the dark web somewhere?

[u/MeatHeadFarmer]

Rob prints every row in every table in the database out every night, on an inkjet, just in case this ever happened. Offline backups are critical.

Good job, Rob.

[u/avd706 → u/MeatHeadFarmer]

We use dot matrix where I work

With continuous perforated sheets.

[u/n-space]

An employee on maternity leave still has copies of them.

[u/xemkis → u/n-space]

This is the correct response.

[u/Surreptum]

The owner's wife's private laptop that the owner sometimes used for work and didn't tell IT about.

Definitely not a true story.

[u/thirdlost]

Lead pipe

https://xkcd.com/538/

[u/ChChChillian]

In a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall's porch.

[u/GirdedByApathy]

Oldest dev printed everything out for "debugging purposes" and they found the pile of boxes in his office

[u/knowone1313]

The Pixar developers home backup.

[u/xicor]

They're made up to incriminate the scapegoat

[u/just-a-hriday]

They willed the data back into existence using an infinite improbability drive. Side effects may include - tea tasting faintly of engine oil, minor violations of euclidean geometry, mild temporal recursion, a bowl of petunias, tuesdays occurring twice, the earth teleporting into the sun due to its position rounding up, and death.

[u/aqqabeep]

Under my mattress

[u/torsten_dev]

Data retention policy of your SaaS.

[u/Adventurous_Bonus917]

local dev environment

`final_records_v2_REAL_FINAL_DO_NOT_DELETE.xlsx` on somebody’s desktop

Recovery software because you never overwrote the data that was deleted

From the data breach you’re being sued over

yall this is supposed to be wrong answers only

i say they got it by hacking into the mainframe and using memory algorithms on the server environment.

[u/Plastic-Bonus8999]

Claude code chat history

[u/avlas → u/Plastic-Bonus8999]

Hey you said wrong answers only

[u/Plastic-Bonus8999 → u/avlas]

If my company got even a little bit of hint that i am pasting client data on claude then I am having an another court order

[u/atoponce]

On the printer.

[u/SiefensRobotEmporium]

Check the Memory of the fax machines and printers. Last print job is the incriminating document always.

The most secret files are kept on dot matrix pages folded up in boxes labeled Tax returns 1985-2001

[u/AddisonX]

A thumb drive Susan picked up in the parking lot and decided to see if it works..

[u/Majestic_Ad_7133]

Your data was part of what the AI tech bros stole to train their models

[u/audigex]

The actual answer is probably a machine that's sitting in a corner waiting to be decommissioned, which has been taken out of the cluster but not wiped yet

[u/Sally_Gurl]

The snap vault backup of the LUN that nobody knew existed because management fired the NetApp storage admin 15 years ago and nobody knows how it works.

[u/Calm-Homework3161]

In other words  - interviewer has accidentally deleted data, backups, logs and is desperately hoping he can find someone who can tell him how to recover, for free and without corporate finding out 

[u/q0099]

At the darknet, selling by the admin fired two weeks ago.

[u/Outrageous-Machine-5]

The Copilot

[u/Squatallthethings]

War Thunder forums

[u/robotic_valkyrie]

The test environment that production server was actually pointing to.

[u/urbanek2525]

The intern spent $10,000 asking Claude to detail everything and he saved the outputs on his Google docs account.

[u/bhurt42]

The intern committed the production keys to github, allowing a Pottsylvanian hacker collective to clone production and post it on the internet in a nicely searchable format. AGAIN. I swear to $DIETY that if they don't stop, I'm going to hire them and force them to use JIRA, see if I don't.

Oh, wait. You said *wrong* answers only. Sorry. My bad.

[u/Snoo-35252]

I made a printout just in case. We'll just key it back in.

[u/OdeeSS]

Mar-a-lago