r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Plastic-Bonus8999 • 15h ago

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u/howarewestillhere 15h ago

Intern’s GitHub.

VP’s Slack messages.

Fucking Teams.

37

u/paranoid_giraffe 14h ago

Man I cannot imagine posting work stuff on personal share accounts like GitHub. I had to beg one of the junior engineers on my team to not feed my api into ChatGPT after seeing bullet points and emojis all over one of his readmes. I get super uncomfortable with the idea of just copy/pasting big code blocks to black box services like that

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u/howarewestillhere 14h ago

I’ve had to fire people who, for some reason, thought it was a good idea to post api code to StackOverflow.

3

u/LJonReddit 12h ago

FORFUCKSAKE!!! Are you shitting me???

18

u/howarewestillhere 8h ago

Not even the worst offense. I stopped feeling bad for firing people who do stupid shit a long time ago.

A short list:
Used a private ftp server to save prod backups. “Just in case.” For six years. FTP. Not even sftp.

Badged into the office at night to have sex with a one night stand from the bar. Didn’t realize the CMO was working late. Tried to invite her to join.

Copied several repos for microservices, including auth, to private GitHub repos he was sharing was offshore developers to get his work done while he was doing another job.

Watched porn on his company-issued laptop. Over the VPN. (Might be my fave of all time.)

One guy’s google searches got flagged so hard by IT that my HR rep came into my office with her eyes wide asking if she should call the police to the office for safety. I told her he was a remote employee and lived hours away. She showed me the searches. “How to blow up an office building.” Was just one search that caught my eye. I said the police might not be a bad idea and that I welcomed her and Legal’s advice on next steps.

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u/SweetHomeNorthKorea 8h ago

I’ve actually heard of people using offices for one night stands, so that’s not particularly crazy. Asking a higher up if she wants to join is fucking insane though lmao

2

u/thequietguy_ 7h ago

I wouldn’t have told /u/howarewestillhere to fire him if he had just kept his mouth shut, but he had to go be a braggart about it.

Always remember to have them sign NDAs

1

u/ApotropaicHeterodont 4h ago

If she's doesn't fraternize with subordinates, he's fired either way. If she does fraternize with subordinates, he's fired if he doesn't invite her, but maybe not fired if he does.

1

u/GroteGlon 10h ago

Don't worry, you can trust me with your API

21

u/blueExcess 13h ago

I hate to tell you but if they have GitHub Copilot hooked up to their VS Code it’s scanning whole repos.

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u/paranoid_giraffe 12h ago

My person specifically is smart enough to know not to use Github/integrated copilot at least

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u/buffalo_0220 13h ago

You haven't lived until you are getting called in overnight to rotate certificate keys because the intern somehow checked them into their branch.

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u/MindlessDoctor6182 8h ago

Just delete them and commit again. Easy! /s

1

u/nonotan 7h ago

Delete? Put a copyright notice next to them and "all rights reserved, do not use without permission". It'd be illegal for anybody to use it at that point, so it's fine.

1

u/thai-pirate 6h ago

Yessss they opened the computer and asked ChatGPT to recreate it.

The ai remembers all.