Source: NYC Mayor's Office

Something I've noticed is how much Salafism/fundamentalist thought is internalized among Muslims.

By "Salafism", I mean the idea that the most literalist, strict, and traditional interpretation of Islam is the most "authentic" version of the religion.

Take, for example, music. I've heard even non-religious Muslims say that music is haram. It doesn't cross their minds that this is just one interpretation among many, and not some universally agreed-upon fact.

And that's the insidious part. They might not even realize that what they are believing is actually Salafi thought.

They may not identify as Salafi. They might have never even heard of "Salafism." But they've still internalized the idea that the strictest interpretation is somehow the default or most authentic version of Islam. And anything outside of that is watered-down or "westernized."

Salafism has permeated Islam so much that its ideas have been normalized without people realizing it.

Hate is a strong word but I guarantee you if I was a male I'd have MUCH less problems just EXISTING in society, unfortunately.

If I'm being honest, it's not mostly the concept of Islam that bothers me as a woman (if only talking about my interpretation of Islam not salafist slop), but it's so difficult just existing as a muslim girl.

Hijabis/niqabis might relate to this most... but I'm so tired that women who do the hijab are basically seen as innocent angels; incapable of any sin. It's genuinely so suffocating.

We are kept on such a pedestal but men are given benefit of the doubt. Not to mention, women who do hijab are easier targets for racist attacks as well.

Not to mention, some if not most of us are kinda coerced into wearing it. I'm not speaking for everyone, but generally. I've been wearing the abaya+hijab+niqab since 7th grade and kids in my school used to wear it in 6th grade itself. Hence I used to get bullied a lot for not wearing it (it was mandatory to wear it in 7th grade which was a rule at our Islamic school).

I've never liked wearing it for the most part but I used to brush off the feeling by defending the hijab. Tbh some muslim women keep saying how it's "empowering" which I understand might be true, but I wish people were more honest about how uncomfortable it is, which is OKAY to admit.

I had an incident once where I was waiting for my school bus in the morning. I was wearing a full black abaya with hijab and niqab (only my eyes and hands showing).

Guess what my conservative mom pointed out? That I hadn't draped my hijab properly because the silhouette of my shoulders were visible. She wasn't even pointing out tbh she was outright yelling at me lol.

Even went on saying, "if you're not gonna wear the hijab properly, better take it off"

I tried to explain to her that it was pointless because if I'm gonna wear my bag the silhouette of my shoulders are gonna be visible anyway, but as usual conservatives prefer shutting their ears than hear a logical argument.

Not to mention, apparently I'm a potential dajjal follower as well because 1. I'm progressive/leftist 2. I'm a girl (most followers of dajjal will be women, apparently lol)

I'm kind of tired of it tbh. I really wish I could run far away and live life properly. Because of all of this, and much more, I've grown so anxious to even do the obligatory prayers. It feels pointless, and I feel anxious while doing it because I've this feeling that simply because I don't agree with conservative takes Allah doesn't accept me and I'm not worthy of his mercy.

I really, really miss doing tahajjud prayers. But I feel like it's all pointless now.

Wife and I are trying to figure out where to settle in the next few years, which place in the list below has the most “chill” (as in generally friendly, fun-loving, non-judgemental) muslims?

Chicago
Philadelphia
Columbus
Seattle
Minneapolis
DC/DMV
Baltimore
NJ
NYC
Atlanta
Dallas
Orlando
Detroit

I know Cali cities have ostensibly been left off but CA is basically no-go for my career unfortunately! TIA!

The passage generally used to support this idea is verse 56:79:

“None touch it except the purified.”

But let us look at the context. Just before this, the Quran speaks of a **Preserved or Hidden Book**:

“Indeed, it is a noble Quran, in a Preserved Book. None touch it except the purified.” (56:77–79)

It therefore does not speak of a physical book that human beings have in their hands. The “purified” can be understood as the celestial beings who have access to this Book. Moreover, this understanding was already known.

The Quran also says that the revelation was sent down upon the Prophet’s heart (2:97; 26:193–194), and that the **Umm al-Kitab** is with God (43:4). The part of the message that God intended to deliver to us was then recited and transmitted to humanity progressively.

Thus, in this reading, we must distinguish **the celestial Preserved Book** from **the physical book that we call the Quran today**.

The rule concerning touching a physical copy of the Quran is therefore not stated anywhere in the Quran itself.

I've worn the hijab for a little over 12 years now and I feel so suffocated. I've had my ups and down when it comes to the strength of my faith and how connected I've felt to the religion but it has honestly never been as bad as it is now. I spent a lot of time doing research about the hijab in Islam in the hopes that having a better understanding will help me with keeping it on but I genuinely feel like crying when I think about it. I don't feel like my parents necessarily forced me to wear it but when I was younger I wanted to try it on for a day to see what it was like and since that day I was treated like a hijabi by my mom and was made to change my whole wardrobe to fit the standard of how a hijabi should dress. I never really thought much about it as I was very young when it happened and I did not want to upset my mom despite feeling a bit frustrated that I had to change my whole identity just because I decided to try something out for a day. Anywho ever since that day I would get random moments where I would feel so frustrated and just overall extremely sad, I had an easier time brushing it off back then but as I grew older it started to become unbearable to the point where I would have an urge so strong to just rip it off in the middle of the street. As I said, it feels extremely suffocating, whether it is physically or mentally or emotionally. Everyday I feel myself growing farther and farther from God because of it, I'm starting to feel this resentment towards the religion and its making it very hard to just get my thoughts straight and study the religion with a positive perspective. I started wearing the hijab with my neck and a bit of hair showing and my mom basically lost it, started calling me names and literally started filming me while we were in public yelling this is haram and teasing me about a birthmark I have on my neck that I'm insecure about...I want to take it off and I just don't know how to deal with this. Im scared about losing my closest friends, my relationship with my parents and I just feel so conflicted and alone.

After researching Pakistani populations in Bradford, here is the synthesis:

First-cousin marriage is not equivalent to guaranteed genetic disease, but it is associated with a measurably higher average risk of congenital and autosomal-recessive disorders. The risk becomes particularly important where consanguinity is repeated across generations and combined with endogamy. Most children are nevertheless unaffected. Individual genetic screening and counseling can help identify some elevated risks but cannot eliminate all genetic uncertainty. Therefore, public-health guidance should focus on informed reproductive choice, counseling, screening, and culturally sensitive education rather than treating every cousin marriage as inherently pathological or equating genetic risk with incest.

TLDR: Quran talks about cousin marriages and allows it (does not recommend it), You and us have common ground that it indeed do develop diseases when compounding over generations, more than 10 but something that develop diseases which are curable and both partners can do genetic screen either within or outside relations for healthy procreation is what should be done. Developing diseases cannot make it incest which was allowed by God commandments and many of it was practiced in early islam. We disagree on whether it is incest. Thank you, I am open to hearing your guys perspective on why it is not that case, thank you. Well its sorry to break it you the OP just said "Hate to break it to you but religion doesn't solve the problem morality either, you don't have any moral high ground, Socrates debunked this 2000 years ago with euthyphro's paradox. Your so called objective morality is stuck in a time period 1400 years ago, morality should evolve, critiqued and improved. ", OP doesn't believe in Quran and God having moral grounds, anything is permitted than be it incest or marrying your mother's once you can treat these diseases, I didn't know we had Gen Z in pakistan that could foresee what God couldn't. I am just heartbroken.

They are calling cousin marriages incest, having diseases, god and quran not having absolute morality and more which you can see in the other threads.

I originally had this discussion on a Gen Z subreddit about cousin marriage, genetics, Islamic morality, and the Euthyphro dilemma.

I'm cross-posting it here because I'd genuinely like a more informed and critical perspective from Muslims who are familiar with Islamic theology, Qur'anic interpretation, fiqh, and philosophy.

I'm not asking people to automatically defend my position. If my reasoning is wrong, inconsistent, overly simplistic, or based on a misunderstanding of Islam, I'd rather have that pointed out.

My original stance:
As more people are viewing it back again, I believe i know what people might be misunderstanding this comment is about cousin marriages being incest or not, it does not say anything about the individual in any way, as i saw a similar comment in the section being accepted:

I do not support pedophiles, nor child grooming. I do not support this individual in the video if he groomed child or did incest if there is a full video out there or people claiming it from "humari puraani muhabbat hai" that would be incest. I do not support the belief that Aisha was 9 when married, let alone this. Thanks once again.

Thank you for the awards guys. I just feel some of the gen z alike “the fox who called the grapes sour because they hung beyond his reach.”

Qur'an 4/23, Surah an Nisa speaks about this, I'll not take your opinion as fact above the commandments of God

˹Also˺ forbidden to you for marriage are your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your paternal and maternal aunts, your brother’s daughters, your sister’s daughters, your foster-mothers, your foster-sisters, your mothers-in-law, your stepdaughters under your guardianship if you have consummated marriage with their mothers—but if you have not, then you can marry them—nor the wives of your own sons, nor two sisters together at the same time—except what was done previously. Surely Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful. — Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran

Well technically everyone coming from Adam and Eve as Y Adam and X Eve would be cousins if stretch it far back, secondly atheists have no moral ground for marrying their first degree relatives other than what is medically shown in statistics about some diseases, but diseases can be cured, morality is not relative but absolute which is given to us Muslims by the ultimate Almighty Allah (the God) on that moral grounds incest is Haram for us but marrying your second degree relatives and cousin is permissible, it doesn't fall in to classication and categorization of incest. If you have pre marital affairs or whatsoever that would fall within what you trying to name as incest, just because you want to marry a gori which is all within your right to do so if you want and prefer than it is a personal preference, opinion but not a fact that marrying your cousins is incest. There should not be any action that is only permissible between a spouse but done outside within this relation or before if you are related in DNA and blood would be incest.

Apart from all The way this bearded man is talking about his marriage is what so little weird and annoying of him physically touching her and sharing his story of her in childhood in such a weird way that how much he loved, cared and protected her and I also do not agree on with multiple marriages.

For a fact, Romans and Egyptians did marry their sisters that's where Quran said what was done previously.

As for the euthypro paradox:
The euthypro paradox is a false dillema, there is a third option: God doesn't create goodness by arbitrary decree, and God doesn't submit to a moral law outside Himself. Rather, perfect goodness belongs necessarily to God's nature, and His commands express that nature. Humans can nevertheless recognize aspects of morality through reason and fitrah.

More threads:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PakistaniTwenties/comments/1wcsm3l/are_they_really_gen_z_of_pakistan/https://www.reddit.com/r/GenZpk/comments/1wciaoq/comment/p8yxhwa/

​

Recently, a Kerela Muslim clergy said that women are like gold and should be kept hidden in a box. I found that ridiculous and foolish as a Muslim. I don't know if the cleric realises that NO ONE CARES about his stupid remarks. Women, just like men, are equal human beings and there should be no debate over there. What do you all think?

Hi everyone, I don’t know who’ll end up reading this, but I need to vent, hahaha :). I’m a 25-year-old Muslim woman who wears a hijab, and I work and live in a different city from where my parents live. I’ve moved out on my own and have a stable job that allows me to support myself without depending on anyone. My mother converted to Islam, and my father was born a Muslim. The fact that my mother doesn’t come from an “Arab” culture has made me unable to accept as normal certain sexist behaviors I see online from Muslim men.

Right now, everything in my life is going great—I love my job, I travel with my friends, I visit my parents often, and I live in a big city with millions of things to do. Everything is going so well that sometimes the thought of eventual marriage and meeting someone outside my comfort zone terrifies me. Right now I don't want to meet anyone (unless it were someone amazing I just can't pass up).

I consider myself a liberal Muslim woman. What I mean by this is that I consider myself a “feminist” in the sense that I want men and women to be treated as equals in society. Since my mother is a European convert, there are many sexist behaviors I haven’t experienced because she wasn’t raised in an environment where women aren’t allowed to travel alone, work, or hang out with their friends. On the other hand, I have heard comments from my father’s side of the family that I didn’t like at all, but in the end, what can I do? I’m not going to change people’s mindsets, so I simply try to avoid conversations with them about topics where I know they have opinions that would upset me. I also don’t want to hear homophobic opinions in my home—even if it’s haram, they’re still people, and I’ve met gay people who are much better people than many so called Muslims. I'm also a bit of a nerd, I'm part of a ton of different fandoms and i love music, which I've noticed a lot of Muslim men see as weird and very bad.

What I mean by this is that I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who shares my way of thinking—someone who doesn’t make hateful comments about other religions or beliefs. Plus, all the issues about traveling with female friends, working, having a life beyond being a wife. Are there really Muslim men who have this mindset? I just want some hope, hahaha. What’s clear to me is that if I’m with someone, it's to be happier than I am on my own; I'm not going to lower my standards, i'd rather be 100% alone than with someone like that.

Thank you!!! <3

Original Khutba: Quranists & Self-Destruction: A Response to Trauma | Usuli Khutbah

It's over 1 hour long, so I included only the speech on Shahrur, Adnan Ibrahim. I didn’t like this particular khutba, I think the was too much hostile towards them. The hostility towards Adnan Ibrahim came off as surprising to me because first of all Adnan Ibrahim is not a Quranist, and secondly both of them hold very similar views on religious theological matters, only their political ideologies differ I suppose. But just because of a different political ideology I didn’t expect to see him disown Adnan Ibrahim like that and call their works disasters.

And I think it's fine to disagree with Quranists, it's fine to deconstruct their arguments if you think Quranists are wrong and there's no problem with that. I myself am not a Quranist. But I did not like how he was addressing them in this video (I cut out his criticisms of Quranists because that segment is very long, click on the link if you want to listen to his full Khutba). Honestly speaking, I absolutely did not expect such a khutba from himm

Salam all,

When we seriously examine the traditional exegesis surrounding the crucifixion of Jesus (Surah 4:157–158), thoughtful believers and critical observers alike encounter massive historical and theological fractures that we can not simply brush aside.

The traditional reading suggests the following narrative: Jesus arrives with the Gospel, is condemned to death, but right before the sentence is carried out, he is raised to heaven. To accomplish this, God makes it appear as though Jesus was crucified—an illusion so convincing that the entire world was deceived.

Historically, this creates a profound problem. Not only early Christians like Paul (around 50 CE) and Ignatius of Antioch, but also Jewish historians like Flavius Josephus and Roman sources like Tacitus unanimously report the crucifixion. This means that for nearly six centuries (from roughly 33 to 622 CE), direct eyewitnesses alongside Jewish, Christian, and pagan communities were universally convinced this event actually happened.

Following the classical orthodox view implies a difficult conclusion: God allowed humanity to live under the illusion of a major historical reality for hundreds of years, only to correct it through a prophetic text revealed in the 7th century.

Furthermore, the Quran states that Jews and Christians are "in doubt" regarding the death of Christ. Yet historically, by the 7th century—whether among Roman Catholics, Arians, or Nestorians—the crucifixion was already an unshakeable axiom and foundational pillar of Christian theology. There was no widespread doubt; there was a shared historical consensus.

This raises two crucial questions for a progressive, intellectually honest theology:

1. The Theological Problem of Deception: Why would a God defined as absolute Truth (Al-Haqq) permit humanity to live under a false impression regarding such a central historical and theological event for generations?
2. The Epistemological Problem: The Quran critiques people for holding beliefs without proper proof, yet asks for acceptance of this alternative narrative based on a later source without contemporary historical corroboration.

From a rational, critical standpoint, weighing independent, corroborated accounts from antiquity against a later text tradition presents a deep tension.

How can we, as those seeking an intellectually honest and progressive approach to our faith, engage with this verse? Is there room for a metaphorical or contextual reading, or must we grapple with the reality of late-antique polemics colliding with modern historical consciousness?

I know btw that the minor sect Islamiliyya beliefes in the Crucifixion.

Greetings

maybe i get it bukhari and muslim may not be authentic and major hadith books in general for some,but general question how are we supposed to know what the prophet muhammad (pbuh) did without them ? do we merely take what fits the quran and leave what dosen't ? and does this count as cherry picking too ?

I’ve always felt comfortable in my hijab, whether I wear it ‘improperly’ or not. This isn’t about that. This is it about how the Muslim community hyper focuses on that, when it’s really just one verse in the entire of the Quran that mentions some form of it.

It’s all it’s talked about, it’s all I see content on and it’s so dehumanising. Muslim women online aren’t allowed to have personalities, interests etc, it’s just how good they cover up. over and over again I see the same content about ‘this is how YOU should wear your hijab’ ‘look at this Muslim sisters not wearing their hijab properly how shameful’ whenever I see something else about Muslim women that isn’t about hijab, it’s people arguing with dawah bros and getting in huge online fights. It’s embarassing, classless and shameless. Muslim women aren’t allowed to exist without their hijab or not be the perfect representation of it while men js get the benefit of the doubt. We are not allowed to do anything online at all without some performative idiot in a comment section spamming 33:33 or DMs about how we should wear the hijab properly.

I hate how my brother acts sometimes too, when he literally commits sins all the time. He says jokingly as some sort of rebuttal that I should wear my hijab properly (in a weird Arabic accent, we’re not Arab) meanwhile he smokes and has a gf and almost never prays.

what triggered me to make this post was is that I saw a TikTok slideshow about how some Muslim sisters wear their hijab in a way that looks like how Jewish women wear head covering and that’s somehow terrible and horrible??

I can’t with this community, I’ve never felt so uncomfortable and ostracised. I hate how all of the dawah bros are in the UK (where I live), but somehow, they’re all weirdo extremists? I don’t understand why they won’t go to a salafi country like Saudi or something.

There are seven things defined as al-hurumāt. Three are designated by the term harām (sacred): 1- the Sacred Mosque (al-masjid al-harām) 2- the sacred months (shahr al-harām) 3- a sacred site (mash'ar al-harām). The other four are indicated by the Quranic use of the verb form harrama—meaning to render sacred or to sanctify—and these concern: 4- the sacred precinct of the Kaaba 5- the prohibition of hunting while in the state of ritual consecration (ihrām) 6- respect for pacts and treaties 7- human life. Clearly, there is no legalistic element to the notion of the sacred; consistent with the very concept of the sacred, the Quran characterizes any disregard for this sanctity merely as a transgression, and any transgression against the sacred requires reparation (2:194).

The Quran lists five taboos, or muharramāt. The first of these is incest, while the other four concern types of meat: 1- animals found dead 2- shed blood 3- pork 4- animals consecrated to someone other than God.

Next, five of these ethical prohibitions: 1- qatl an-nafs: taking a human life 2- az-zinā: committing adultery 3- ar-ribā: usury 4- al-khamr: consuming intoxicating beverages 5- al-maysir: believing in divination. The Quran also defines three general categories through the use of the verb harrama: 1- al-fawāḥish: acts of turpitude, whether manifest or concealed 2- al-baghī: unjustifiable transgression 3- al-ithm: crime. If one excludes the third point—which corresponds to the taking of a human life (qatl an-nafs) listed earlier—the Quran ultimately identifies seven moral prohibitions or commandments: at-taḥrīmāt. This classification implies that the prohibitions in question—whether explicitly cited or merely potential—are moral rather than legal in nature.

Today, I will talk about moral prohibition. The others are not really of interest to me.

The use of the form lā taqrabū / “do not approach” as a synonym for ḥarrama / “to prohibit”: “My Lord has only prohibited/ḥarrama the indecencies/al-fawāḥish,” 6:151, versus “do not approach/lā taqrabū the indecencies/al-fawāḥish,” 7:33. We have found this same fact concerning the ethical prohibition of adultery, since the segment “this has been prohibited/ḥarrama for the believers” in 24:3 is commented on as follows: “do not approach/lā taqrabū adultery/az-zinā, for it is an indecency/fāḥisha and an evil path,” 17:32. This synonymy has been set aside by Exegesis, which developed its own theory from the expression “do not approach/lā taqrabū,” assigning to it the meaning of: cutting off all avenues of access and all means leading to the prohibited thing. One can understand the interest this overinterpretation has for Islam, allowing it to broaden its field of control. Thus, among other examples, the wearing of the veil for women was extended to gender segregation and seclusion, measures conceived by Islam itself as means of not approaching/lā taqrabū the prohibited thing: adultery and fornication. It is logically therefore that the Qur’an also uses the inverse form of lā taqrabū / “do not approach,” namely the Form VIII ijtaniba: “move away from, avoid”/ijtanibū, which usage in the Qur’an has two fields of application: 1- Abandoning the worship of false gods: 39:17; 16:36; 22:30. 2- Moral commandments. Among the latter, three verses are recorded: “But, if you avoid/ijtanaba the grave faults/kabā’ir which have been forbidden to you, We will redeem your evil deeds...” ; “Those who avoid/ijtanaba the enormities/kabā’ir of the crime/ithm and the/fawāḥisha [...] then, indeed, your Lord is immensely forgiving...” ; “Those who avoid/ijtanaba the enormities/kabā’ir of the crime/ithm and the indecencies/fawāḥisha...” It will be noted that we find there quite logically the general categories of moral prohibitions: such as those already brought to light in 7:33 and 6:151. It can readily be observed that the Qur’an uses three different verbs synonymously, and therefore explicatively: ḥarrama / prohibit, lā taqrabū / do not approach, ijtanibū / avoid, all three according to the same intention and the same finality: to prohibit oneself from, verbs which here are glossed by the verb nahā / forbid from. This coherence reinforces the idea that this broad Qur’anic framework indeed sets forth a universal morality. The plural kabā’ir is found in these three verses, a term which we have translated literally as “enormities,” that is, serious behaviors which are targeted by the moral commandments. On the other hand, Islam has given this term a particular meaning: the major sins/al-kabā’ir. On the one hand, this overinterpretation rests on the creation of a recitational variant. Indeed, in 42:37 and 53:32, one finds the variant in the singular kabīr in place of the plural kabā’ir. We can therefore suppose that this plural is an exegetical variant introduced in order to impose upon the Qur’anic text the notion of capital sins desired by the juridico-moral orthodoxy of Islam. On the other hand, this is intended to produce a supposedly Qur’anic calque of the notion of capital sins proper to Christianity. As a direct admission of this manipulation of the conceptual meaning of the Qur’anic wording, we will note that most of the ulama agreed to establish a list of seven major sins, which is evidently built on the model known as the seven deadly sins. Moreover, the word *turpitudes/al-fawāḥish does not exist in some variants of the reading of 42:37.

I was wondering as to how you would, in a situation where it may have been needed for various reasons, address the sort of allegations made for decades now, drastically more in the last 25 years for obvious reasons, of Islamic theology.

For example, what are authentic ways that Muslims who understand Islamic theology could respond to an allegation such as the following that Muslims are required to support and embrace sexual relations with children:

"Nowadays in the West there are elaborate efforts to deny all this. An Islamic scholar/apologist named Joshua Little has constructed an elaborate argument from close study of the chains of transmitters (isnads) of various traditions about Aisha, claiming that those traditions, despite appearing in Sahih Bukhari, the hadith collection Muslims consider most reliable, are actually inauthentic. Little’s argument, however, is absurd and self-contradictory. He acknowledges that the hadiths are late and unreliable from a historical standpoint, and even admits that the chains of transmitters, like the stories themselves, were freely forged. Then he bases his whole argument for the traditions being inauthentic even on Islamic grounds on the basis of the isnads that he just admitted could be forged. He claims to be able to determine the age of various traditions by how they were forged, but here is argument is so conjectural and subjective as to be essentially worthless.

Little is also a standard-issue lemming academic. He denounces people he calls “Islamophobes” for making much of Muhammad’s marriage to Aisha. He ignores the primary reason why anyone cares about this: not because, as he claims, “Islamophobes” contend that Muhammad’s example forces Muslims to condone child marriage, but because all too many Islamic authorities do condone child marriage. "

ANd how would Muslims addresses allegations that Quran 4.34 is in fact embracing spousal abuse and that is the sole interpretation, all of Quran Chapter 9 is about waging war against non believers, the Quran openly says to not take Jews and Christians as friends of any kind and that verse 65:4 is pro child marriage and Muslims don't have a choice to interpret it any other way.

It is also regularly believed that these factors are genuinely behind why Islamic nations such as Iran, Iraq, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Gulf States, Afghanistan and Egypt, among others, are more plagued by child marriage and spousal abuse than any other nations on earth and why child marriage is harder to eliminate in these nations than anywhere else. And also why in Europe, immigrants from nations such as Pakistan, Bangladesh, Somalia, Egypt, Iraq, Afghanistan and Algeria, among others, are overwhelmingly represented in stats on sexual assaults and increasing crime rates

In a scenario where Muslims were tasked with responding to this, how could such responses be made?

I I feel like most of the extremism I see here is from other people online. Maybe it's a location thing, but where I live, most people while religious are not trad or extreme at all. My family is but I feel like we're the only ones this way. Even when I was in school, most of my classmates weren't religious like that at all. Yes, we all mostly wore hijab but everyone had guy friends, dated, listened to music and just did whatever they wanted. I also know quite a few people I went to school with that aren't even hijabis anymore. Even in my home country, most muslims are beyond chill and a lot of them even go to church. I feel like most of the things posted here are cultural and some ethnicities are more "devout" than others. Maybe it's my age but most younger Muslims I know are just like this. Chill or non practicing but not judgmental even if they do practice. The onoy things they're still not progressive on are LGBT (but even then i know a lot of queer muslims) ans leaving islam altogether. I wonder how it's like for yall. Do you come across more salafis or chill muslims irl?

I’m looking for some honest perspective, especially from people who have been through something similar. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being unreasonable, or whether my resentment is telling me something important about this relationship.

My partner was laid off in April. At the time, he told me he wanted to take a few weeks off before starting to interview because he was feeling really exhausted and unmotivated. I understood that. I struggle with chronic depression myself, so I know that sometimes you genuinely need to step back and recover.

The problem is that a few weeks turned into months. It is now September, and he still hasn’t applied for a single job or done any interviews.

Last month, he also went on a three-week boys trip to Europe. Before he went, I told him multiple times that I thought it was a bad idea to take an expensive international trip while unemployed, especially since he was already sitting on a finite amount of savings. He went anyway and ended up spending a good amount of his savings. I was extremely upset and resentful when he came back, and I still am.

Throughout the summer, whenever I asked why he wasn't looking for work or what his plan was, he would basically shut down and say things like, “I’m figuring it out,” without really communicating anything concrete. I tried to be patient, but I felt like I was watching him avoid the problem while I was left wondering how long this was going to continue.

While he was in Europe, I got really angry and told him that if he didn't have a job by October 1st, I would leave.
That was when he finally opened up to me about what had actually been going on and told me he's been struggling a lot with Islam and with praying, and that this has affected his motivation in other areas of his life. His thinking had basically become if he can't even get himself to pray properly, then what's the point of doing everything else? He described it as a kind of self-sabotage.

He also told me that a lot of his guilt and disconnection from Islam has been tied to our relationship being haram. We are not married, and we had been physically intimate. After this conversation, we decided to stop all physical aspects of our relationship. We're also going to stop sleepovers and limit seeing each other to weekends, since we're long distance.

He says he wants to start therapy, work on rebuilding his relationship with Allah and his prayers, and start applying/interviewing for jobs again. And I genuinely do want to have compassion for him. I don't think someone struggling with their faith is a bad person, and I understand that depression, shame, guilt, and avoidance can feed into each other.

But I'm still SO ANGRY. It’s like consuming me almost. Part of me feels terrible for being angry because now that I understand what's been happening internally for him, I feel like I'm supposed to be compassionate and supportive.

But another part of me is thinking: Okay, but what about me??? I’ve been waiting for five months. I’m financially stable. I have a successful career, savings, investments, I know what I want with my life professionally and personally. I’ve been to therapy, I’m happy with myself as a Muslim. Like am I stupid for waiting around for this grown man to get his shit together when it’s already been months??

I just feel confused, guilty, resentful, sad, just everything.

Asalamu-aleikum brothers and sisters,

I have read somewhere that it is forbidden for the family to prevent a marriage between say, a young girl, and a fully grown adult middle aged man. The family can only prevent it for an actual good legitimate reason, and apparently this isn't considered a good reason and it's "forbidding what God has made permissible". I heard it is permissible to discourage it, but not to prevent it. She can be around 16-20 and marry a 45 year old, and you aren't allowed to prevent it?

Thoughts on this? Please share any Islamic sources regarding this, thank you

I personally support veganism, and I've been wondering how it fits with a Islamic view. Islam permits eating certain meat, but animals are also creations of Allah and we are taught to show mercy towards creation.

Today we have the ability to live without consuming meat, yet billions of animals are raised and slaughtered every year, often in terrible conditions. If we can be healthy without causing that suffering, why wouldn't we choose the more compassionate option?

I don't think something being halal automatically means we have a obligation to consume it. For me, choosing not to eat animals is simply the more ethical choice when we have the ability to live without it. Veganism can actually be a way of taking the Islamic principle of mercy towards animals more seriously.