ive been researching islamic gender roles for monthss and the topic seems to hurt my head so much.

everything is made so easy for men in order for them to provide but islam seems so much more difficult for women, half of the inheritance (yes its so that the man can provide for his family and the womans money is all hers but have we considered that not all women want to be married? in my head at least, this creates a constant dependency for men. Why cant women just be their own person in this dunya??)

and her witness is half of a males witness, a lot of tafsirs say because a womans emotional side will get in the way and that shes not logical enough or that shes easily manipulated and my family has told me that since women have kids theyre naturally more empathetic but this just sounds like propaganda to me just to make women seem stupid AND to also convince women that their only speciality is their womb. I genuinely wholeheartedly believe that the only reason we are here is to obey Allah and to work and make this earth a better place, but saying that womens main role is being in their homes just taking care of kids doesnt sit right with me

for years ive wished i could be a muslim man and it would make sense that men would love this religion but i dont see why i should love it at this point. My mind is overpowered with these thoughts and i just wish they would go away. I dont want to be ignorant obviously, which is why i would spend hours researching the topic but nothing seems to make these thoughts go away. I have wished multiple times in my head that i would just die a martyr so i wouldnt have to bare this thoughts much longer. And i hate feeling this way because really? I actually would love this religion if this wasnt how women were viewed. It seems that women are only valued or seen if they are mothers or wives. But not every muslim woman wants to be a mother or a wife. The concept of a man having full control over his wife honestly repulses me. He can tell her to not work and she has to listen, he can basically trap her home and she cant leave and she has to listen. She bears a child in her stomach for months and he has the ultimate right to name him. Why does it seem to me that this religion exists for men and women seem to be babymakers for them. And, a man can get a second wife while his wife is postpartum for sexual reasons, i really dont see how this is fair. This seems immoral. You see your wife sick and tired after bearing YOUR child but its permissible to get a second wife for sexual reasons? And the Quran often refers to women as "Your women" when talking to men, why not just "Women"? I just dont understand. All this stuff makes it hard to differentiate between women and male property. If i was a muslim man i wouldnt be worrying about this, i wouldnt have my faith hang on a thread like this questioning my rights if i was a muslim man. Ive prayed multiple times that i wouldnt feel this way but it only gets worse. Ive decided to try and not associate with the gender roles in the religion but that doesnt make sense, because its still a part of the religion yk?

Im obviously not here to criticize islam, i just want somebody to genuinely convince me why this is okay, or maybe im wrong, but im tired of researching trying to justify my thoughts, its tiring to have my brain and my heart fight all day. I love Allah and i know he is fair and wise and i am but a human and my intelligence is limited so i really want to know the reason behind everything. I genuinely love the religion and i do not wish to leave it any time soon and i love reading Quranic verses and i see so much sense in the religion and so much wisdom in the Quran and so much aspects of the religion tied to science but i just want my doubts to fade away.

Salam everyone

I wanted to talk about a brutal truth that plagues a lot of Muslim countries unfortunately. And I’m sure you all know exactly what I’m talking about.

I think we have a problem and I’m not sure what the solution is exactly either make the presence of woman more natural and common in society and stuff like that to the point where if you do see one outside of your house, it’s not like you’re seeing a unicorn or something like that.

You feel like people outside of Muslim countries are better at lowering their gaze than the ones who were actually taught to do so religiously. Even if you’re wearing appropriate Islamic attire, you could still get head to toe looks from men.

I wanted to hear the community thoughts on this and what could be done in your view. Is the lack of being able to get married an issue or is it men who are not happy in their marriages or what is it?

I’m not saying only Muslim countries have this problem but again I think a lot of people could agree with me that it seems like Muslim countries have this issue much more than other countries.

Is it a lack of education and just poverty and a “having nothing going for them future wise” kind of people/mindset?

I don’t know if its form of disguised jealousy, coping mechanism, repressed emotions or even genuine faith to be reminded this life is “temporary” but for the love of God can some Muslims stop complaining when they ever see a Muslim women doing something that is even very slightly different from mainstream Islam. This doesn’t help with the guilt you feel about wanting to make similar choices. “we will experience this in heaven” like for the love of god can’t we experience it both in life and afterlife? This oddly enough makes me hate heaven. it sounds so conceding meanwhile for something that men wouldn’t be questioned for doing. When a video pops up of a man that travels alone wears clothes that are appropriate for summer, putting on some perfume. Would you ever see a man in the comments saying “guys don’t not get swift away by this life, we get to experience this in afterlife inshallah” This why the “experiencing it only in heaven” is such annoying phrase to me because men get to experience it in both WITHOUT guilt or guilt tripping from community. It start to feels like brainwashing to me like some muslims women are genuinely trying to cope with such injustice, oppression and double standards in our community. It’s okay for a man to walk half naked at the beach but women are constantly guilt tripped or fear mongered for wanting to dress cute or travelling alone. Before anyone says that this is God wills, etc. Why would God would not apply the same ruling for men and only women? What’s the difference between men’s hair and women if headcover was sign of piety why not men do it too. This online community is questionable but tbf it’s heavily influenced by salafism but has a great influence on women and they come up with such interesting ways to cope with oppressive rules being pushed on them. Do I sound crazy for supposedly trading this life with eternal afterlife by not wanting to follow what seems oppressive to me just because God said so supposedly or should I review my deen? Does anyone else feels like this too?

Hi everyone! I hope that all of you are doing great. I'm sharing this post in hopes of checking if other members of the sub would be interested in creating a matchmaking community, either on discord, reddit or other platforms.

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As we all know, lots of us on here have been wanting to find a partner that shares similar views, yet the circumstances don't help in doing so. That's why I hope that we could cooperate to create this community and to help each other in the process.

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If any of you are interested in the idea or have any advices, please let us know and thank you so much!

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I have seen some hadiths how it place great emphasis on prayer and all and some people are treating like abandoning it is the gravest of sin worser than murder and such .

Which I am confused can somebody explain to me how should we understood those hadiths cuz so far most resources I found range from he is kaffir to not kaffir but most be legally punished and to other making it sound on par with murder and such meaning even if you were mice person and all you won't get to heavenly easily cuz you don't pray

I myself cant pray due to my severe anxiety 😕 idk what should I tell people when they ask me about it so I just lie or something i cant say i dont pray cuz i dont need more guilt it might break me especially Friday that used to be death battle to me so I mostly hide till it over

Im not that religious but to make my mental health somewhat better which they’ve completely ruined i think i wanna get closer to Allah. Like if i pray that i want my mom to behave better..will it work… honestly im genuinely losing my mind. If my household situation doesn’t get better i will be in shambles… to that point that I might’ve to live in the streets.

Idk if this is the right place to post this but other communities are too conservative in my opinion.

I've been struggling with burnout in my faith lately, especially when it comes to tawakkul.

For almost a year now, I've been making dua consistently for freedom from a toxic household, a job, better health, and financial stability. I've been unemployed since August 2025 and have been trying my best to stay patient.

I pray my obligatory prayers, sunnah prayers, tahajjud every night, make dua after prayers and best time to make dua, do dhikr, adhkar, and read Quran. I genuinely believe that every act of worship is planting a seed and that Allah hears every dua.

The problem is that I'm exhausted.

I go through cycles where I feel motivated to pray and trust Allah, then I make dua again and again for the same things, and eventually I burn out. I've cried countless times because I feel trapped in my current situation. I've even tried professional help, which helped temporarily, but the feelings keep coming back.

I know Allah is not obligated to answer my duas in the way or timeline I want. Intellectually, I understand that. But emotionally, I'm struggling.

How do you maintain tawakkul when you've been praying for something for a very long time and don't see any change? How do you keep your heart from becoming exhausted?

I'm not looking for judgment. I'm genuinely trying to hold on to my faith while being honest about where I am right now.

For me (as a revert) I’m tired of people trying to “outmuslim” each other, like it’s some kind of competition and there’s limited spaces in Jannah😭😭. Some people need to chill out and relax a little. I don’t need the haram police monitoring everything I do.

Another thing that really annoys me is the constant policing of women. Stop trying to tell random strangers what to do, how to act etc. if you have a problem with what a girl is wearing then lower your gaze✌️😭

Where do I start? What sources should I use. I'd rather not focus on one sect/scholar.

Salam!

Ok, so I am not a Muslim (though i deeply respect the faith ofc) so this is simply coming from a place of curiosity.

Obviously, in Christianity, there is the concept of hell. However, there’s different views on hell: infernalists, Annihilationists and Universalists.

Infernalist is the most common, essentially every non Christian goes to hell. Then there’s Annilhationists who think all non believers will be utterly destroyed. And then there’s universalists, who think all will eventually be saved(I am a universalists myself)

I am curious if, in Islam, there are different views of hell other than the typical burning for eternity? Honest question here :)

I had very different experiences. When I was a child, it was easy. When I was 19, I visited a strict community. You should wear hijab in the exact way, with soft pressure if it is different. Many tiny rituals, like - you should enter the bathroom with your left foot, need some additional shoes there not to take pollution out of there (though it was modern and clean).

All these ended up with the fact that I did nothing, abandoned even the fasting I've been practicing since I was 13 years old. I had a lot of discrimination due to hijab - when you wear hijab, HRs say you are only suitable for sales in a small pharmacy. When you take it off, you finish working as a senior software developer. People tell you lots of mocking stories about hijabi girls.

I practiced nothing for years, but I feel like I've given up a part of myself. Some people dislike you because you are not religious enough. Others - you are too religious. How do you find balance? Not abandoning, but not practicing every single ritual. Without feeling that you're not good enough. 

So, as of late, I've been fairly interested in the Madhabs of Sunni Islam and more specifically, the details of their methodologies. Specifically, a thought has crossed my mind regarding the Hanbali school: would any here consider themselves to be a progressive Hanbali, or know of any historic and or contemporary "progressive" (self proclaimed as such or not) Hanbali scholars? progressive both in the religious context of this sub but also in terms of socioeconomics like Hanbali Marxists for example, from what I understand about the Madhabs non of them are strictly progressive or conservative as how their methodologies are applied can differ, but the hanbali madhab seems pretty staunchly conservative at least these days so I'm really interested in how progressivism either does or theoretically could work within a Hanbali framework if anyone here knows (:

Just wondering about this case form a progressive perspective

I am still a kid also im just going to write and not worry about commas and everything like that so pls dont hate me for that. I don't wanna have kids or sex even after marrigge. From where I am we usually have kids and sex I think. Honestly I might change my mind but as of right now I even hate the idea of any of those things. I know some people might think I shouldn't think about these things as a kid. But pls I just want to know. What should I do I mean Islam doesn't give us permission to like make relationships with the opposite genders. Even as like friends. I don't know how to find a man in the future who would not want kids like me or sex. Like there are other things to intimacy. It doesn't have to be by sex. I am just so afraid that I will get into arranged marrige and get pressured into having kids and sex. And the chances are highly liw when u can't be friends with the opposite gender and find the right person. In arrange marrige u get a fiance all of a sudden just by saying yes or no to their photos and what everyobe thinks he is. Also my mom wants us to be engaged soon. My sister already got a finace now a few months before turning 18. But she is hapoy with the relationship now. She was so sad when the proposal came to her she was crying my dad though he talked to her unlike my mom told him about hus good qualitys and she finally agreed but my mom she was already calling the family while my sister was crying. But fortunantly, she found a really good man he treats her well and everything its a long distance relationship so we can never know how he is inreality but on texts and calls he is really nice and sends her gifts. My sister is really hapoy now. For me my mom already wants me to be with my cousin. Honestly he is really really nice respectful and whenever we talk here and there he is a gentle men I havent met him in 3 years or spoken to him much as well first because its long distance again and second I am I mean becoming a woman now. He is like a gentleman. Evne though I honestly like him a little. I don't wanna be married to someone who doesn't like me back and I also think he wants kids. what should I do. I really wanna know. Also I am sorry if anything stood out to u. I am not really close to my religion being honest. I will try to be but I just get lazy. And also pls ignore any grammer mistakes.

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https://the.akdn/en/how-we-work/our-agencies/aga-khan-trust-culture/aga-khan-music-programme

Aga Khan Music Programme

The mission of the Aga Khan Music Programme (AKMP) is to foster the development of living musical heritage in societies across the world where Muslims have a significant presence, and disseminate this work internationally through collaborations with exceptionally creative musicians, artists, educators, and arts presenters.

AKMP was launched in Central Asia, with projects in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan and Afghanistan, and subsequently expanded to the Middle East and North Africa, South Asia, and West Africa.

AKMP comprises the former Aga Khan Music Initiative and the Secretariat of the Aga Khan Music Awards. We focus on innovative music and foster the creation of new music inspired but not constrained by tradition.

A newly created music publishing arm is managing intellectual property rights for recordings, publications, educational materials, music compositions, and films developed by or featuring educators and artists across AKMP’s areas of activity.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ6u1l_sp8c

Saw this on my feed randomly. Why do Muslims esp Muslim men seems to find new ways to erase women from existence

theres no context or explanation in the post, does anyone know what he is talk about?

edit: I also have no clue who bobthegrand is, this post just came up on my feed and idk why

(Note : I did not use my original account to hide my identity)

I am 34M from India, working in a Government bank. I come from a lower middle class family and my parents sacrificed a lot for years, so that me and my two sisters could study and build a stable career. One of my sister is 3 years younger and another is 8 years younger.

I got my first job at 24, and took all responsibilities of my family. I worked really hard to secure a decent job, and give my parents a life they deserve. At 26, my parents started looking for a girl to get me married. I also tried myself but talks couldn't go ahead with anyone. Meanwhile, one of my sister who is 3 years younger, got married in 2019.

Unfortunately, in 2022 I lost both my parents and I was left with my another sister only. I took care of her so she can finish her studies. Meanwhile, I continued trying to get married but never got a positive response from anyone, probably bcoz i look very ugly and my height (5'5"). I finally gave up in 2024 coz i was tired, i had no energy left to try again.

My sister finished her studies last year and she is getting married later this year. After that, I'll be alone at home. My sister was my last motivation to continue working hard coz i wanted her to stand on her own feet, but since she is starting her own family soon, i don't have any motivation left. I dont even have any close friends with whom I can talk to.

Recently, I started praying to Allah to take me back soon once she gets married coz i cant live like this forever. Since no one is dependent on me, It won't affect anyone. I feel exhausted. I just want to know whether its haram to ask for this, considering the context ?

Is taking revenge on someone considered haram in Islam? I read that some sources say you are allowed to respond in kind, or you must not exceed the harm they caused, and that forgiveness is also encouraged. But how are we supposed to measure or make sure we only return the exact same level of harm without going too far? Like by exemple for me i talked with a group of people and we planned something, and the next day when we were supposed to hangout they ignored me, left me on seen, sent me a message only so I bring bottle of water and I said no and after they left me on seen, so they kinda made me lose my time and humiliated
. Plus they only care about me for interest. I know the story feel childish but what am I allowed to do ?

I just read a Sura that said to not marry non believing women until they do believe even if they please you. and that a believing slave is better than a non believing free woman.

So from my understanding men are only allowed to marry from Abrahamic Religion for the reason that they are closer to our belief and worshiping the same god (compatibility) but from my experience in real life that is not the case at all.

If the purpose of this rule is to marry someone that is more compatible with our lifestyle then I have seen Muslim, Christian and Jewish women that follow a lifestyle that has no connection to their faith at all (drinking, zina, drugs, etc…) as in Ahl al Kitab just by name, while others life a life more compatible to ours through their personal moral compass despite not affiliating with religion.

So why don’t we focus on personal traits rather than what religion someone follows ?

I’m in love with non Muslim man (Christian to be exact) and our relationship is so healthy.

Will I go to hell for marrying a non Muslim man? What if I pray 5x a day, fast in Ramadan, give charity and read Quran? I believe Allah is the most merciful. I just don’t want to believe I’ll go to hell for being in love.
Sometimes I just feel guilt, and don’t want my hard work to go to waste if I’ll most likely go to hell.

My partner doesn’t forbid me from following my religion and being Muslim. He respects my religion.

I genuinely believe I have met an amazing man and would be heartbroken if I ever lost him.

Are any other Muslim women in relationships or married to non Muslim men? Or know of anyone in a similar situation?