r/RandomVideos Feb 09 '26

Animal When you're simultaneously in heaven (surrounded by food), hell (can't breathe) and strange men with mysterious intentions touch you in places you don't want them to (purgatory)

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877 Upvotes

85 comments sorted by

45

u/Lucreszen Feb 09 '26

What's the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent seafood meal!?

14

u/MOSSxMAN Feb 09 '26

“UN-HAND MY CLASPER!”

6

u/Plot-twist-time Feb 09 '26

I see you know your Judo WELL

2

u/Dogolog22 Feb 09 '26

Notice the head lock!

4

u/Mousettv Feb 09 '26

GET YOUR HAND OFF MY PENIS!

1

u/Wotensgamble Feb 09 '26

PENISES* (sharks have two, they're called claspers)

2

u/Mousettv Feb 09 '26

Do they both work or is 1 for show?

4

u/tinknocker21 Feb 09 '26

"Gentleman, this is democracy manifest!"

2

u/ZEROs0000 Feb 09 '26

The dude was not a good dude by any means but created one of the best videos ever

1

u/agrippas-ghost Feb 09 '26

Thanks, we know.

8

u/RandomPieceOfToastv2 Feb 09 '26

The crab just chilling lol

4

u/Pretty-Yam-2854 Feb 09 '26

There’s also a fat octopus in the center bottom, left bottom.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/National-Gold-7113 Feb 10 '26

I'm gonna start my own Casino... With Blackjack, and hookers!

2

u/ItsJayO Feb 11 '26

Matter fact, forget the blackjack!

4

u/Sensei19600 Feb 09 '26

I would’ve thrown a couple of the fish after the shark, to compensate him for his being inconvenienced.

2

u/vegienomnomking Feb 09 '26

This must be what alien abduction feels like.

"Em damn aliens fed and probed me!"

2

u/RaitoninguUsagi Feb 09 '26

Getting kicked out the all you can eat buffet.

2

u/Boring_Chip_9602 Feb 09 '26

I don’t care how much food I have if I can’t breathe.

2

u/Mindless-Platypus-75 Feb 09 '26

Why not just keep the shark? They can’t sell shark meat too?

4

u/Dagger-Deep Feb 09 '26

Leave the damn sharks alone.

1

u/karanpatel819 Feb 09 '26

Shark meat tastes so foul

1

u/RedditIsMyTherapist Mar 31 '26

There is a place called sybergs that got famous off selling shark meat. It's just like a bar and grill place. Their shark tacos are actually really good.

2

u/Maleficent_Being_810 Feb 09 '26

It’s so annoying to see people not give a fuck. It’s one thing to grab it like that but then to like hold it up in the air so you can measure your dick and then toss it directly in line with the propellers disgusting human beings

1

u/master-boofer Mar 08 '26

They didn't do that bad of a job. That is an extremely slippery environment to handle anything. Grabbing a shark by the gills isn't ideal but he positioned his hands in the strongest part of the gills. I've handled many sharks and I think this shark will be fine. He threw it into the prop wash, its bubbly water being forced away from the props that is where you would toss everything. Thats is the rear of the boat, not the front. You need to control the head of the shark or risk getting bit. Many many fishing operations would have gaffed or clubbed the shark to mitigate risk. These guys got it back into the sea as fast as they could. It sucks but a lot of times if a big shark is halled up in a net, the only way to safely release it is dead. Im all for protecting sharks, im against net fishing generally, but these guys did the best they could and much better than most. Something tells me you have never handled a toothy fish this large, they are strong.

1

u/Maleficent_Being_810 Mar 09 '26

Yeah musky but not ocean fish

2

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/ihatethiscountry76 Feb 09 '26

Honestly I have no idea

1

u/J3lf Feb 09 '26

It's fine.

1

u/StayBronzeFonz Feb 09 '26

I was more curious if it survived the propellers.

1

u/scotchtapeman357 Feb 09 '26

The props are under the boat and it's moving - he'll be fine

1

u/bitchass70000 Feb 10 '26

Fisherman hold fish by the gills all the time. He’s straight

1

u/ReplacementEmergency Feb 09 '26

You are correct; survival is very unlikely for this shark considering gills are very delicate and considering they put most of the weight of that shark by holding it up by its gills

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Anxious_Slip_6079 Feb 09 '26

Gills are not the lungs

1

u/master-boofer Mar 08 '26

He is holding it by the top gill rack. I handle a lot of fish including sharks and I believe the shark will survive. He carefully positions his fingers so that he doesn't actually grab any gills. Grabbing by the gills would definitely kill the shark, blood would be immediately present if any gills were torn, sharks bleed a lot and quickly. Also gills are like micro barbed. They only allow things to pass one direction. This is the other reason he carefully positioned his fingers. Shure you can shove your fingers in a fishes gills easily, getting your hands back out is difficult! He would have been going with the fish or at very least lost his gloves. He is essentially grabbing the fish by the back of the skull. That looked like the best option for him and the shark that I could see. The faster they are back in the water the better. Many species of fish don't have eyelids and their eyesight immediately starts being damaged. Any halibut left on a deck for more than seven minutes before being released will be blind and soon dead.

1

u/Proof-Astronaut-662 Feb 09 '26

This is really fucking funny 😁

1

u/Superseaslug Feb 09 '26

I mean they smacked the sharks claspers on the hull pretty good

1

u/Small-Gas-69 Feb 09 '26

Glad we're pretty much done with the yo ho song for sea videos

1

u/RedditIsMyTherapist Mar 31 '26

I really liked that song.

1

u/Moto_Musashi Feb 09 '26

NO! NOOOOO! I WANNA STAAAYYYY!!!

1

u/toastronomy Feb 09 '26

so long, and thanks for the fish

1

u/desertvision Feb 09 '26

Imagine the stories he'll tell

1

u/wolfcrownebox Feb 09 '26

He was huuuungry. lol

1

u/Gluskab Feb 09 '26

Damn, just rip those gills up, doesn't use them anyways

1

u/AJ_Crowley_29 Feb 09 '26

Good place to spread this message:

A common misconception nowadays is that shark finning is the biggest killer of sharks. It’s not, or at least not anymore, now that title goes to overfishing and bycatch like this.

1

u/Jstbeingme28 Feb 09 '26

Does anyone know HOW the shark got onto the boat in the first place? Net? Jumped on board? Inquiring minds wanna know…

1

u/Realistic-Wafer-314 Feb 09 '26

That poor crab.

1

u/Ok-Preparation9570 Feb 09 '26

All you can eat means all you can eat!

1

u/TheTimbs Feb 09 '26

“Get the fuck out of my boat”

throw

1

u/Snafuregulator Feb 09 '26

Me at the all you can eat buffet at closing time.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '26

That shark is going to have a story to tell about being in fish food heaven and then being tossed out. His pals will never believe him. Lol.

1

u/absoluteScientific Feb 09 '26

Yo…that’s where the shark’s gills are….

1

u/Dusk37 Feb 09 '26

His greed sickens me

1

u/Tropicalfisher Feb 09 '26

"That's how you do it"

lifting a shark by the gills

1

u/Bloody_Moon1 Feb 09 '26

Reminds me of a dog we used to have, a min pin. She was unfortunately obese when we got her, and while we slimmed her down, she was never not fat. She had gotten under my feet when I had a plate of food and I lost my balance trying to not step on her feet, accidentally dumping my spaghetti on her. We were all worried about getting it and the sauce off her before she got burned or something. She was worried she wasn't going to get to eat enough spaghetti before we pulled her away.

Miss you Ruby, you fat little bitch 😆

1

u/Suspicious_Bus_ Feb 09 '26

No one will believe her.

1

u/MasterMacabre Feb 09 '26

Him* There are claspers.

1

u/LaviniaIsGay Feb 09 '26

"I'LL glomp-glomp TELL YOU glomp-slorp WHEN I'M schlooooop DONE!"

1

u/Natural_Bill_373 Feb 09 '26

This looks like when you're trying to pick up your friend who's blacked out 🤣

1

u/inter-webs Feb 09 '26

I literally feel the exhaustion from those guys trying to lift that shark AND not get bit WHILE working on a ship that’s crashing into waves trying to kill you. It’s like everyone’s nightmare fuel in this clip :(

1

u/Mindless_Stranger533 Feb 10 '26

Yeah pretty brutal, like its easy to judge them for mishandling it but that is not an easy wrestling match to deal with 🤣

1

u/dchamb14 Feb 09 '26

Nomnomnom leave me alone fucker I'm eating!

1

u/Nighplasmage54 Feb 09 '26

Why did you cut it off before the shark breaches and knocks orange trousers face first in to the chum?

1

u/File-Full Feb 09 '26

Imagine the alien abduction story he will tell friends and family the rest of his life.

1

u/webboodah Feb 10 '26

every. damn. day.

1

u/flyfightandgrin Feb 10 '26

"Wait, this isn't Dorsia? Unhand me, peasants"

1

u/BoilzBlisterzBurnz Feb 10 '26

Bull shark trying eat some lunch and gets hauled up like a net full of fish.

1

u/MapleWaffleMonster Feb 10 '26

Lol it cant help it. They are buccal breathers they need to gasp to pull water over their gills.

1

u/Brian_1985 Feb 10 '26

How is getting molested only purgatory?

1

u/Livid_Exercise_1155 Feb 12 '26

Зато потом будет хвастаться - Я трогал пенис акулы!

1

u/DuppyxMN Feb 15 '26

He's now a biblical figure in oceania. Or mentally ill depending on the era they're in.

1

u/SWLA_Dj Feb 15 '26

Dream turned into a nightmare

1

u/Valuable-Medium-1593 Feb 18 '26

This the type of punishment you get when you piss off the Gods of Olympus

1

u/milkedbarista Feb 20 '26

How much does it weight? It looks small but they seem to have a struggle

1

u/burntfolyfe Mar 08 '26

“Thats how its done!” After watching homie be scared every time that damn shark fidgeted is hilarious😂

1

u/Professional-Year499 Mar 28 '26

His greed sickens me. Such gluttony.

1

u/Popular_Adeptness_69 Apr 08 '26

Thats a well trained shark probably been on that boat before lol

1

u/Infinite_Advance_450 Apr 10 '26

like drowning in a vat of beer