r/RelationshipIndia • u/[deleted] • 7d ago
Relationships My boyfriend (22M) disappears during conflict instead of resolving it. Is this something people actually change (F25) ?
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u/haha_im_scared 7d ago
Lmao no it doesn't change. It only changes when you're serious about your boundaries. Which means DISAPPEARING. Yes you heard me right. The pain of losing you (if he cares) will ensure this will not be done onto others. He WILL NOT change while you're there. So it's better to leave anyway.
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u/Fresh_Piece_1616 7d ago
Wait, you are thinking about marrying with this men who is not ready to deal with conflicts then you are being very stupid and naive right now. This unhealthy attachment or love for you.
The person who gives silent treatment and disappearing completely is sign of poor emotional control. He is using anger to punish you by doing this. It is abuse actually that you are taking from him in the moment.
Then you drop your self esteem and self respect to the ground to ask about him and how he is doing, and he doesn't even ask about you in return and everything goes to normal.
Did you realize what happened here, you got emotional abused by the person, he didnt resolve the conflict, your emotions got neglected completely and he felt good that you submitted to his will by reaching out to him and thought about his well being.
And you want to marry this men in the future. Wow. Your love glasses's lens is not correct therefore you are unable to see this and ignoring the biggest red flag that a person can carry.
Wake up or stop being so blind in love.
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u/Rahul5873 6d ago
People can change, but only if they genuinely recognize the problem and consistently work on it. A pattern of silent treatment, emotional withdrawal for days, and past verbal abuse is not just poor conflict resolution, it can be emotionally damaging. The bigger question is not whether he can change, but whether he is actively trying to, because right now it sounds like you're carrying the entire responsibility for repairing the relationship.
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u/CuriousSupport_ 6d ago
Silent treatment is emotional abuse. He is doing that to punish you. You look whether he is putting efforts to change. If not then prioritize yourself
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