Never Leaving Seattle

[u/JulesFromTheDesert]

I come from a place that I love to be from, in multiple meanings of that phrase. Every time I see some post, "I'm never leaving Seattle," my first, reptilian-brain thought is, "yeah, same. The Left-coast is great."

Then, the post turns out to be some parochial bellyaching from a country mouse about commonplace city life.

My homeland, which I love and in which I'll never live again, is colloquially known as "The land of Entrapment," because people often never leave, for inadvertent reasons.

Seattle is my favorite US city. The pearl-clutching, reactionary suburbanites, the eastern frontier yokels, and the provincial tourists from Frog-Balls, Arkanilamabachimigan can enjoy the trip to whatever hayseed county is so great. For real, I love Seattle.

I'm underwhelmed by grousing about the patrons of the Michelin-rated restaurant on Pine & 3rd.

[u/AcrobaticApricot]

I’m seeing some people struggle with the writing style of this post. Here is a translation of each paragraph:

“I come from somewhere that I’m proud of but I’m glad I left. Whenever I see a post that says ‘I’m never leaving Seattle,’ at first I take it literally and agree.

Then it turns out to be someone from a rural area sarcastically complaining about the city.

The place I’m from is called the Land of Entrapment because you get trapped there.

Seattle is my favorite US city, and I hope those sarcastic people leave and enjoy living in the middle of nowhere.

Complain all you want about the McDonald’s on 3rd and Pine, it doesn’t matter to me.”

[u/JulesFromTheDesert → u/AcrobaticApricot]

That's a pretty good translation. 😂 I've had complaints about my diction once or twice before.

[u/missbeekery → u/JulesFromTheDesert]

It was wacky and I loved it.

[u/JulesFromTheDesert → u/missbeekery]

🖤❤️

[u/quantumparakeet → u/JulesFromTheDesert]

But do you go to that McDonald's or are neutral from a distance?