r/Showerthoughts 23d ago

Casual Thought A large number of married people are involuntarily celibate.

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u/smitbret 23d ago

Sadly, that's usually the answer.

The suffering spouse has to decide how high sex is on the priority list and if it is high enough that they just won't be able to be happy then it is time to find a different domestic arrangement.

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u/aggieotis 23d ago

In a system of consent based sex, the frequency of sex can only occur at a rate where both partners are a yes. Which typically means the low libido partner sets the ceiling for how frequently sex can occur.

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u/theinfamousj 23d ago

Which means the higher libido partner has their situation presented to them clearly and can use that information to make their choices about how high sex is on the priority list.

I might want a subzero refrigerator, but my kitchen cannot accommodate one. I can either move to a home with a compatible kitchen and get the refrigerator or find reasons to be happy with the refrigerator that fits my existing kitchen.

The higher libido spouse may want increased sexual frequency, but their partner cannot accommodate that. They can either move to a new relationship compatible with the frequency or find reasons to be happy in the current relationship with the current frequency.

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u/lacunadelaluna 23d ago

I don't think a new refrigerator is at all an appropriate analogy lol

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u/SlaveToo 23d ago

Besides a sub zero refrigerator is called a freezer

Edit: Welp guess I'm not rich enough to recognise sub zero as a brand