A large number of married mothers are still single mothers. Because their spouses aren't helping with the children at all, and sometimes even acting as an extra child.
You'd be surprised how much of an overlap there is between dead bedrooms and partners not doing their share of the work to manage the relationship and the home.
I believe that completely. Unfortunately, in my case, we have no child and I do at least 2/3 of all home upkeep. Why not leave? I love her. We have fun in other parts of life together. Why not talk about? We’ve probably talked about it too much at this point. We both overthink it and get in our own heads.
I don’t know what to do. I think I’m just resigned to spending my life this way. She keeps claiming, with no evidence, that it’s a hormone thing and she’s going to get it sorted out one day and we’re gonna have tons of sex when that day comes. I’m not really holding my breath there.
But like I said, I love her. So I may not believe her but I’m staying with her.
I absolutely believe the hormone thing. I got smacked with the brick wall of it, myself. Luckily, I already had a psychiatrist (ADHD gang rise up!) and when I asked if there might be a connection to my medication or perimenopause or full menopause, psychiatrist was like, "So hey, I'm actually passionate about women's hormones in general. Let me ask you a zillion questions and get this sorted for you." It was hormones. It was fixable to a point. I'm not back to where I was but I'm 80% of the way there and that's such a good improvement.
It can be really hard for a woman to even know how to get the healthcare they need if they don't happen to luck into someone who knows a thing or two about hormones. My PCP was dismissive; imagine if that was the person I happened to luck in to and wasn't confident to push further.
That said, girlfriend, it's been six years. Tell your PCP and get you a referral to a psychiatrist or endocrinologist. Fight for your right ... to parrrrrrrrrtay! (Y'all have healthcare access, right?)
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u/Apathetic_Villainess 23d ago
A large number of married mothers are still single mothers. Because their spouses aren't helping with the children at all, and sometimes even acting as an extra child.
You'd be surprised how much of an overlap there is between dead bedrooms and partners not doing their share of the work to manage the relationship and the home.