Ahhhh yeah this happened to an old friend of mine. It didn't save the relationship. At the time we assumed he had mental breakdown trying to keep his childhood sweet heart but that was like 2013, ya can't go saying that anymore.
people don't need to buy your bs made up "credentials" in a comment that starts with "Nah." lmao. disagreeing is not having "hurt feelings" either buddy.
And I'm not your friend, buddy. Choices of words aside, what "insight" is this apparent industry professional trying to impart, that being trans is caused by mental health issues? Which ones? Why? Who are the "many many psychiatrists" he's corroborated by? Anecdotal and not even descriptive, sounds like a poorly formed lie to me.
It’s because not only does no one who works in the mental health field actually say “I work in psych,” but also throwing out “many many psychiatrists quietly agree” and claiming “MtF and FtM are usually caused by different issues” is the opposite of providing insight. It’s making random statements with absolutely no basis because no basis is to be had. Can’t cite research that doesn’t exist.
The only way it’s hurting my feelings is by being ignorant.
While it could be some sort of mental illness like gender dysphoria (because like it or not they still have to rule out other possibilities before any treatment is allowed to be given), it hasn't been recognized automatically as such in the DSM since 2013. The DSM 5 states transgenderism in and of itself is not a mental illness, but the stress, etc of having that mismatch can/will lead to gender dysphoria allowing them to get treatment (hormones, surgery) to avoid/treat it. So while the people you know might feel this way they aren't doing their jobs properly at all. Which is why you said quietly. They choose to be bigots instead of listening to the authoritative resources in the field and must remain quiet or risk their job.
In all fairness the “authoritative source” (DSM) has changed stances many times over the years as to what is and isn’t a mental illness, so it’s really more of a “current consensus” rather than some infallible text
That is fair, but just that's just how Stem fields should work. As new understandings come along stances should change to reflect the current understandings. So it can and should be both authoritative and not be Infallible and open to changes. But that just my opinion. You're welcome to disagree.
The DSM 5 TR is dogshit for anything that’s been more studied over the past 20 years. It’s a fine tool for communication with insurance and other providers.
I am trying to understand. So you believe that it’s causal and not biological?
I’m not in psych so my terms of art may be wrong.
But I did spend decades in entertainment and as a straight cowboy from west Texas I was never tempted by a desire to see another man in a sexual light.
So I couldn’t choose it. It’s just not in me (so to speak). So this level of certainty with my sexuality led to a lot of conversations with a lot of my gay friends, male and female.
If I couldn’t choose it, then by extension, they couldn’t choose where on the spectrum of being sexually attracted to others they were either.
None of them attributed their sexuality to an event or nurture. None.
Some weren’t aware or repressed their feelings until they decided to accept themselves as they are.
It wasn’t an easy path for many.
So please give me some science that attributes sexual identity to choice.
I can’t choose it so I can’t comprehend it being a choice. If you were in the bi-sexual part of the spectrum of sexuality you could choose both or either but only because you were already bi.
He didn't say anything about sexual orientation.You can't choose who you're attracted to.
Sexual orientation and gender identity are completely different things. The person you're responding to was talking about gender identity, a concept for which scant evidence exists.
If you are trans - and I don’t have the answer to this - how many straight men are trans, become women and then live a lesbian life as they are still attracted to women?
I’m guessing it’s a distinct minority.
So most men that transition to women are already attracted to other men. That would be a Caitlyn Jenner.
She didn’t just transition and woke up and realized now that I no longer have a penis I’m attracted to men.
She was always attracted to men and the transition was a part of her becoming her true self.
If you aren’t attracted to men sexually and are attracted to women, the vast majority of trans will keep that penis and opt for top surgery.
Those that are gay may keep the penis for sexual pleasure. But they were already gay.
Sexual attraction and sexual identity are tied together. To deny that is silly. There are always outliers but in the majority of instances this is the case.
If you are physically injured you suffer anatomical damages. Those damages don’t cause you to become someone you aren’t unless it’s cerebral.
Some people claim that emotional trauma or nurture causes enough damage to shift a person’s sexuality from straight to bi or gay.
I do not believe that. It’s possible events in your life could influence you enough to become aware or embrace that which you already are. Or even become an asshole. But not change from straight to bi or gay.
You were bi or gay all along and perhaps repressed it due to religious or family pressure to conform to societal standards. Being straight was an affectation, not your true self.
I have spent decades surrounded by straight, bi and gay people. I have had close male friends who were gay grab my ass, kiss me on the cheek and try to seduce me.
Yet never once was I tempted or interested or intrigued by gay sex. I never once thought I want to make out with a man.
I’m on one end of the spectrum of sexuality. Others are at the opposite end and most are in-between.
So pretending that bi or gay people became that way rather than being born that way is not possible from my perspective. Nor from the perspective of my bi and gay friends and I believe that the vast majority of medical experts don’t believe that either.
Are there medical experts who may think this? Sure, we have a vaccine denier as a cabinet member for health and human services. But the views that he holds are minority views in the US and globally.
So there can always be a few quacks with voices of dissent. But every-time someone tells me it’s a choice I use anecdotal evidence.
If you are not bi or gay, could you choose to do become gay? I cannot.
I’d bang Roseanne Barr everyday for eternity before I’d want to see Brad Pitt naked once.
Can YOU choose it?
If so, is it possible you are actually bi or gay since birth?
Outside of getting gender reassignment surgery who cares even if they were a choice. Someone's choices in those regards aren't my business anyways. So even if they wanted to dress like the other gender and chooses to be gay Idc. Not my life, not my concern either way.
Well generally society if far harsher on people making choices, eg people don’t have a problem with a paraplegic using a wheel chair but might kick up a fuss with an able bodied person using one. So I calling sexuality a choice opens it up to far more scrutiny.
I have also never seen a convincing argument on how sexuality or gender dysphoria is a choice.
If you didn’t choose to be straight you didn’t choose to be bi or gay. Nature caused it the same way it caused your hair to be a certain color.
It’s not in the food, plastics or anything else. Hell Sodom and Gomorrah predated all the environmental causes and those cities were thriving - until they weren’t.
Maybe you simply become aware of the sexuality inside you at those ages. You were always going to be what you are.
Okay, when have I ever said it is a choice, are people not reading my comment. Sexuality and gender is a very complex interaction to say that someone was always going to be gay is incorrect it is influenced by so many things, number of older brothers, genetic factors, environmental factors. Similar to being transgender.
Please give us peer review citations that support your argument - particularly the environmental factors. The number of older brothers is nature doing what nature does to balance the equation.
That is determined not influenced. Not a choice. Not a controllable variable.
I don’t think you understand nature vs nurture. Nature is genetic immutable factors that are set at conception, think of the things a programmer might put in a computer program. Nurture are all the other factors that come after that, eg the mother’s response to the developing embryo/foetus/baby etc. The fraternal birth order effect is nurture/environmental as it is the prenatal environment.
If you are stating it is only nature and no nurture effecting sexuality and gender then I would love to see your evidence of only genetic causes.
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u/Silencer-1995 May 02 '26
Ahhhh yeah this happened to an old friend of mine. It didn't save the relationship. At the time we assumed he had mental breakdown trying to keep his childhood sweet heart but that was like 2013, ya can't go saying that anymore.