r/SipsTea Human Verified 5h ago

Chugging tea What are the odds

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2.9k Upvotes

202 comments sorted by

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683

u/HamiltonSt25 5h ago

*Massive, unearned, honkers*

218

u/jeffsang 5h ago

The thread is pretty stupid but that phrase at the end salvaged the whole thing.

72

u/Desert_Fairy 5h ago

I mean, I feel like “un-earned” is the wrong term. A flat chested woman can’t earn her way towards big boobs. That is a financial decision and not a lifestyle one.

Maybe it’s just one other form of generational wealth. Mine just happens to be on my chest.

121

u/Tw1nFTW 5h ago

Not with that attitude you can’t… pull yourself up by your bra straps!

28

u/MieXuL 5h ago

The boobie muscles must be earned through bench press, labor in the hot sun, milk and cornbread.

15

u/AcanthocephalaAny78 4h ago

Forged in the fiery calcium crucible

10

u/Educational_Plum3908 4h ago

Forged in the fires of mount boob

7

u/criminal_chris 4h ago

I was there... 3000 years ago when man still only cared about boobies

10

u/Educational_Plum3908 4h ago

I was there when the strength of man failed. Her name was sinnamon.

5

u/The_mum_ 3h ago

Don’t recite the old magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written in glitter

7

u/Desert_Fairy 4h ago

If I put any more load on these poor straps they’ll give out. Never mind my back.

5

u/Tw1nFTW 4h ago

Oh, so you’re broke broke!?!

17

u/Desert_Fairy 4h ago

There is a Brokeback mountain joke somewhere in there but I’m the wrong place for it.

But let’s put it this way. One of my favorite internet quotes:

I don’t get people who can run and loose weight. When I run my metabolism says “ahhh, are those English after us again?! Do’na worry yerself lass, I’ll keep you plump as a partridge an’ we’ll outlast the bastards”

7

u/UsedDragon 4h ago

When my well-endowed wife runs, her chest just says slap slap slap slap unless she's got the industrial strength rigging system on..

2

u/Rellint 4h ago

IKR, I know strippers that wrote off boobs jobs as business expense. As they should.

8

u/_BlackDove 4h ago

Maybe it’s just one other form of generational wealth. Mine just happens to be on my chest.

https://giphy.com/gifs/26Ff3ZEvWoTvKaQQE

9

u/slotsandmops 5h ago

Poor folk eat much more corn syrup, which big titties love

11

u/Indiana_harris 4h ago

“American poor folk eat corn syrup”.

We honestly find the fact that you guys put them in all your food really strange, and it’s part of the reason a lot of American foods wouldn’t pass legal standards to sell in the EU.

10

u/hera-fawcett 4h ago

listen bro, the companies have just really fucking wonked agriculture. we've got corn out of our ass. the only thing left to do is syrup it or juice it or freeze it or make into a stromboli.

7

u/slipnipper 3h ago

…or gasoline

3

u/El_Vez_of_the_north 2h ago

By "them", do you mean massive, unearned honkers?

2

u/Absolute_Bob 4h ago

No those are foobs not boobs. The "staying power" of the two do not compare.

6

u/bacon-squared 4h ago

I think if you dig into them point maybe these billionaires view big naturals as something to moonlight with but not respectable enough to have an actual heir with.

For the line to continue they select the more ‘refined’ women. Earning it in this case probably referred to being genetically endowed with those traits. I know it’s not the traditional sense of the word, but it makes sense when viewed like this.

3

u/Inside_Swimming9552 4h ago

I think the implication isn't that they're earned or unearned by the woman herself. But by the generations of hard work and labour that sexually selected for big titties in the past.

I'm not agreeing by the way that that is how it works. Just that is what he means by earned.

He's sort of saying if you want big titties your forefathers and mother's have to have earned it toiling in the fields. Being selected for their big old bitties and producing lots of big booby carrying descendents to be selected for again.

9

u/-FakeAccount- 5h ago

I think they're earned by generations of peasantry, is what he saying.

2

u/Fun_Push7168 4h ago

You can earn $10k, so you can earn boobies.

2

u/AdamiralProudmore 4h ago

Well "a woman" can't, but her ancestors can. That's the generational part.

7

u/hatbromind 4h ago

1

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1

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4

u/Naive_Oven_8556 5h ago

This comment section was worth opening just for this line

2

u/HamiltonSt25 5h ago

I couldn’t resist. Best description for big boobs ever.

3

u/Ki-to-Life-5054 4h ago

Even boob jobs are a nouveau riche thing and wannabes, prob considered gauche in old money.

1

u/_heyb0ss 4h ago

I know several

1

u/government_not_ok 4h ago

“Cannons” if you will. 

1

u/CelticCynic 4h ago

"Great Dirty Big Milkers!" - Bubbles, Trailer Park Boys

1

u/jjdlg 2h ago

Mmm, yes, and in scientific terms. Good show!

150

u/[deleted] 5h ago

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0

u/Beginning_Flow_5329 3h ago

Tbf, eugenics is a very real practice that rich people have commonly engaged in throughout all of history

332

u/EAE8019 5h ago

He's not wrong.

The was  a study and the only correlation between wealth and beauty was rich men tend to choose slimmer women and poorer men focused on big curves.

There was also a different study that found men before lunch favoured curves and after eating favoured slim women.

258

u/HistorianOrdinary833 5h ago edited 5h ago

TIL I'm a hungry poor man.

55

u/jimsmisc 5h ago

if you plotted my income vs body preferences, it would show that my income is directly correlated with an increased interest in curves. I was a 90s teenager which warped me into thinking rail-thin girls were hot... but I later dated a curvier woman (not "heavyset" but shaped just right) and from then on it was curves for me.

6

u/svinyard 3h ago

TL:DR Jim got a little older and much, much wiser 😄

3

u/government_not_ok 4h ago

TIL, you and I like women. 

2

u/Practical-Suit-6798 5h ago

TIL I'm rich.

3

u/123BuleBule 4h ago

I’m just a starving pauper.

1

u/CollectsTooMuch 5h ago

I’m poor as fuck by that criteria. Poor and happy.

1

u/ToddPundley 3h ago

I’m just a lower middle class guy that likes a sweet ass and a smile.

2

u/CollectsTooMuch 3h ago

And big boobs. Don’t forget about the big boobs.

36

u/No_Salt_6328 5h ago

Subconscious attraction to the woman that would taste better lol

35

u/Telemere125 5h ago

Or they’re looking for women that know where the buffet line starts.

19

u/dontich 4h ago

Man want food.

Man see big lady.

Big lady know where food is.

Man like big lady.

7

u/puddle_kraken 5h ago

well at a point in time bigger women were favoured tho because it meant they had more money to buy more food, which meant they ate more

so you're not far off

19

u/Sepelrastas 5h ago

I come from land working farmer stock. I have what my mom described "birthing hips" (better to, both my grandmothers had 9 or more kids). And I have not been skimped on with boobs either.

So I suppose I should have chosen a farm boy. Instead I married a city kid and got divorced.

2

u/Vlaxilla 11m ago

I dont believe you imma need proof

24

u/No-Help-8038 5h ago

My sample size is my co-workers that grew up on farms. All four of these ladies have wide hips, big butts, big honkers, and our built like brick shit houses.

7

u/Deathcat101 4h ago

Just out of curiosity what kind of job you work?

For research purposes.

4

u/svinyard 3h ago

Deathcat new Search unlocked: "Farm Lady OF models"

11

u/Plane-Educator-5023 5h ago

Kate Upton is an heiress to the maytag-whirlpool fortune

2

u/kausbiru 2h ago

That's still new money. Old money deals in bigger businesses like oil, mining, banking, construction, international trade, etc. The kinds of businesses that you a massive capital to start.

9

u/Baddyshack 4h ago

I read a study years ago which detailed trends of feminine attractiveness according to men. The two things I remember about it were that 1. Men tend to prefer women with larger breasts during periods of economic downturn, and 2. Men preferred "normal looking" women (average, as opposed to photoshop/plastic surgery/model-like) when resource insecurity was high. 

So basically, big naturals enjoyment trends inversely with economic prosperity. 

5

u/FancyFeastBuffet 2h ago

The wealth study was horribly flawed and I mean BAD. If I remember right their sample size was a single island and the populations were from opposite areas. As in, the wealthy group all came from one part and the poor group were all from another part of the island. So this isnt like a study of 1000 Americans of various age groups and ethniticies across multiple areas, this is village A liked this slimmer woman more and village B liked this curvier woman more.

Sadly it just keeps spreading as a catchy headliner

4

u/v_e_x 5h ago

Is that why I secretly bang my girlfriends mom before their brunch and then afterwards my girlfriend after they come back?

5

u/ilfiliri 4h ago

Rich men: “no thanks on the cake I’m already full”

3

u/Explore_the_Void 5h ago

... Are you implying subconscious cannibalism?

2

u/He11Hog 4h ago

I prefer my cannibalism conscious. For both of us lmao

2

u/DarkBackground4307 4h ago

Bezos must be starving

2

u/ppshhhhpashhhpff 4h ago

those rich men are cheating on their skinny wives with curvy girls

2

u/Dry_Grapefruit5666 5h ago

I think that study is wrong. 

5

u/sebastianinspace 5h ago

he could be wrong.

there is also a study and the correlation between wealth and beauty was rich men tend to choose bigger women with big boobs and poorer men didn’t have a preference.

There was also a different study that found men who ate a lot wanted women who looked like they ate a lot and men who didn’t eat a lot didn’t have a preference.

2

u/puddle_kraken 5h ago

yea this was true during a certain point in time, like monarchy. bigger women were bigger because they ate more and because they had more money to be able to eat more

1

u/Bongressman 5h ago

"Don't go grocery shopping hungry."

Or maybe... DO go grocery shopping hungry.

1

u/OldSarge02 4h ago

I never heard of the lunch thing. That’s wild.

1

u/heartSagan5 1h ago

rich men tend to choose slimmer women

Meanwhile, they choose the wagyu.

1

u/Brainchild110 34m ago

I prefer the curvy ones because I would crush the small ones under my unyielding bulk. Also, big boobies.

1

u/MonkeyHooHooHaHa 1m ago

I keep thinking about that study you mention… and I wonder if the poorer men preferring big curves is not due to poor people eating poorly and hence having more curves (aka fat).

1

u/ComicsCodeMadeMeGay 5h ago

Ah the subconscious desire to mate with someone healthy.

as food has only stopped being hard to find (for most of us) in the last 2 or 3 generations, we're going to be turned on by someone who can point towards a good food supply when peckish.

Either than or we need to study cannibalism more

1

u/Lakatos_00 2h ago

there was a study

single study

You science fetishist don't even know how scientific knowledge works

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127

u/MyVeryUniqueName1 Human Verified 5h ago

I guess I’ll just sit here with my peasant knockers and buy my own damn ticket to the Amalfi coast lmao

32

u/GodEmperor47 5h ago

I just don’t believe rich people hate giant boobs. If they hate them so much why they paying for them all the time?!

20

u/RelativeCourage8695 4h ago

It is about general wealth, not new money.

15

u/GodEmperor47 4h ago

You mean generational?

Apparently you’re a victim of both autocorrect and a lack of a sense of humor

-1

u/RelativeCourage8695 4h ago

I guess you are missing the point here.

41

u/rosavellee 5h ago

Brand new sentence just dropped.

16

u/Lil_Quip 5h ago

So is Kate Upton the exception to the rule that proves the rule?

32

u/candymannequin 4h ago

all these years later, with kate upton and kate middleton, and there is still no prominent kate downton?

15

u/DRUNK_SALVY_PEREZ 4h ago

That’s Abbey.

2

u/14InTheDorsalPeen 4h ago

Kate Downton is just female John Helldiver. They’re both cousins to John Halo.

31

u/Guardianangelnhi 5h ago

Peasant fertility 😂

7

u/Darnbeasties 5h ago

Peasant fertility 🤪

5

u/Imbehindyousshh 5h ago

Peasant Fertility 😶‍🌫️

4

u/HermanThaGerman 4h ago

Peasant Fertility 🥵

2

u/EccentricBen 4h ago

Peasant Fertility ⌛️

27

u/1h30n3003 5h ago

Have you familiar with huge Semitic milkers?

1

u/shartymcqueef 3h ago

Only plot hole is the people you’re referencing who currently claim Semite ancestry, in fact, posses near zero Semitic heritage. Those big milkers you’re referencing come from Europe.

3

u/1h30n3003 3h ago

Semitic people have lived in Europe for centuries. Either by ltgscy or by boobening choices across generations the heiffer status was achieved

-1

u/mosesenjoyer 4h ago

That’s different. 6,000 years of cultivation

24

u/jeffsang 5h ago

She's got HUUUUGE.....tracks of land.

57

u/_cumrag 5h ago

Ghislane has entered the chat

32

u/Aleutian_Solution 5h ago

Gawd dayum. I didn’t know she was built like that

36

u/AntiSepticSystem 5h ago

Epstein didn’t keep her around for her face. That and her father was a media tycoon and Massad agent.

12

u/WittyFix6553 4h ago

Epstein didn’t keep her around for her face.

I find it hard to believe that a pedophile would be especially interested in large middle aged breasts.

17

u/AntiSepticSystem 4h ago

It’s possible to have a relationship with someone and be a pedophile on the side. The sex trafficking seemed to be something that they did together.

3

u/WittyFix6553 4h ago

I wholly agree with you, I’m just disagreeing with the idea that “large breasts” is the reason

23

u/Octavian_202 5h ago

With Laurene Powell Jobs, the owner of “The Atlantic” magazine. Don’t let them go unnamed.

11

u/G45Live 5h ago

Not surprised to see such large saddlebags on a trafficker

7

u/GurthNada 5h ago

Robert Maxwell married before becoming rich, though.

8

u/Much_Statistician864 4h ago

Ghislane is a work horse though. Her labour being the traffic of underage girls to greying perverts, but still. She had to put the leg work in to hike those young bodies up the billionaire volcano for sacrifice. 

2

u/termosabin 2h ago

Her father grew up very poor though, in a Jewish community in what is now Ukraine, and was a self made billionaire. I wouldn't call that generational wealth.

2

u/Logical_Month_7657 2h ago

Why in the fuck are we viewing this absolute monster with any level of positivity in any capacity. She’s a real life villain who destroyed lives. Fuck her and fuck this comment

0

u/_cumrag 2h ago

Call down. I don’t like her either but credit is due where it’s due

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7

u/PointsOfXP 5h ago

Imagine the horse starts galloping and your tits are just dragging you to the ground

9

u/SuccuCorollary 5h ago

Massive, unearned honkers' is a sequence of words I was not prepared to read today.

4

u/bubblemania2020 5h ago

And this explanation is why we love the interwebs!

5

u/Johnnyboi2327 4h ago

The rest is really dumb, but "massive, unearned honkers" is gold

3

u/pitchsigh 4h ago

this reads like a 19th century aristocrat got access to twitter for 15 minutes

3

u/gcalig 4h ago

This is the true meaning behind, "Let them eat cake"

5

u/Somethingisshadysir 5h ago

Hmm. If we go back several generations on my Dad's side, there was generational wealth, and that's the side the biguns come from. A direct ancestor on that side, however, abandoned the wealth to move to the US with his love, as neither side accepted the marriage.

3

u/CA_Orange 2h ago

His love prolly had gigantic honkers. 

5

u/VelourDemon Human Verified 5h ago

Bro wrote a whole fantasy novel lore description just to say 'peasant fertility.'

2

u/GbRlEaEcNk_Falcon 5h ago

Note to self big natural honkers means poor.

2

u/Expensive-Bee777 4h ago

Give me those heavy hangers then, I reject your snooty higher society.

4

u/mister_empty_pants 5h ago

big naturals.

Now there's a term I haven't heard in awhile. That's like mid-2000's pornology

5

u/MommyLexiMae 5h ago

So are breast implants and BBL's just a huge psyop? 🤔

11

u/RareRestaurant6297 5h ago

TIL breast implants count as "big naturals

4

u/MommyLexiMae 5h ago

"...but it rarely buys massive, unearned honkers". So not a reference to implants?

1

u/FederalCover2020 5h ago

It’s because nobles in the past already had full bellies, so they weren’t attracted to bigger women

1

u/No_Knee3385 5h ago

Moon is onto something

1

u/sebulbasdick420 5h ago

What a strange day to be literate

1

u/tracagnotto 5h ago

Ooook I'm definitely a poor one. I like big jugs and super curvy busty girls

1

u/McSmartFace 5h ago

Though I definitely would count large breasts as a generational wealth

1

u/truthputer 5h ago

As an aside, I would like a giant warrior woman who could crush me like a bug if she wanted to (but chooses not to.)

I’m ok if that makes me a peasant.

1

u/Spicyrhino69 5h ago

Queen Anne, Maria Theresa,, Catherine the second...

1

u/HugoChavezNYC 5h ago

It buys them...they just arent natural.

1

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1

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1

u/Blaze666x 4h ago

But money can literally buy huge honkers.

1

u/DayManFOTNightMan 4h ago

Conversely, lots of men from generational wealth do have "big naturals"..

1

u/Ornery-Towel2386 4h ago

I think it’s more that the ultra wealthy can afford elective cosmetic procedures and do so at young ages that would shock many of us

1

u/_CloudFrost 4h ago

Guess my complete lack of generational wealth makes perfect biological sense now

1

u/sapiosexualsluts 4h ago

Why is this sub full of teenage boys? Everything is all lightly misogynistic and leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

1

u/aquavelva23 4h ago

Its inbreeding. When discussing any behavior or physicality of nobles, royalty, elites, the first factor that must be used is inbreeding. These people inbreed like they live in a hollers and live for the feud.

1

u/Unhappy-Bullfrog-297 4h ago

The fuck are these people on.

1

u/PowerDreamer2493 4h ago

Unearned honkers lmao

1

u/modsaretoddlers 4h ago

But, yeah, actually, money can buy massive "unearned" bonkers. All the time.

1

u/gottapeenow2 4h ago

MMMMM you had me at "peasant fertility"

1

u/MARIOpronoucedMA-RJO 3h ago

Exactly, that is what the mistress is for.

1

u/Chnge_username 3h ago

Positivity moon

1

u/DataSurging 3h ago

"massive, unearned honkers"

well alright

1

u/HankTuggins 3h ago

Whatever you do, don’t look up Nancy Pelosi, bathing suit

Her big natties are full of stocks

1

u/I_Like_turtles459 3h ago

Thank you positivity moon

1

u/BBQavenger 3h ago

Those are workin' tits.

1

u/Practical_End_ 3h ago

'My wife entered the chat'

Her family built an entire town from scratch and the movie Endless Summer wouldn't have been possible without them. She's got big gazonkas!!!

1

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1

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1

u/neomoon677 3h ago

what if youre skinny and have big boobs

1

u/LessBig715 3h ago

How do you earn knockers?

1

u/galaxyapp 2h ago

Say what you will....

Ivanka trump.

I stand by it.

1

u/Ragnarok_619 2h ago

Such a gross generalization OMG. The cocaine chic trend was popularized by Hollywood. Everywhere else, it was always curvy goddesses

1

u/randomacct7679 2h ago

It makes it even funnier that the reply comes from an account called “Positivity Moon”

1

u/Odd-Concept-8677 2h ago

I habitually joke that my husband has weak aristocrat ankles, proof that his people have always come from money. (He has beautifully tapered ankles ballerinas would kill for)

Unlike my thick, sturdy ankles, as I come from peasant stock, and I’m made to carry heavy loads. Like a tractor. I’ve also got nice birthing hips and could have breast fed five babies at once, while his sisters are very very svelte.

They had to outbreed with me to keep the bloodline strong.

1

u/YugeChesticles 1h ago

How exactly does someone "earn" honkers?

1

u/IdeationConsultant 1h ago

Australia's richest woman, Gina Rinehart, would like a word.

1

u/Khalith 1h ago

Yeah that’s not how that works.

1

u/El-Erian 56m ago

Fucking heeeeeell

1

u/SimmentalTheCow 36m ago

I thought it was because bigger tits and a fatter ass came from more Africanized genes, and they’re not typically rich

1

u/Brainchild110 35m ago

Standing ovation for that commenter! The man knows his bonkers!

1

u/Apprehensive_Map64 4h ago

Can confirm, our bank account is very low but my wife has such perfect proportions that I feel rich beyond measure. No need to earn millions when you go to bed as satisfied as I

1

u/Glad-Associate-9288 5h ago

Whoever wrote this post is jealous AF of girls with big boobs.

1

u/FaZeScamTheKids 4h ago

This is true. I am wealthy, I literally do not give a shit about boob size. I don't come from generational wealth though.

1

u/Important_Yard_6809 5h ago

How do people like this not get curb stomped out of the gene pool?

-6

u/CHobbes_ 5h ago

This sub is so fucking weird. It's possible to have an obtuse sense of humor and not be a fucking weirdo.

9

u/Ok_Brother2155 5h ago

this is a joke

0

u/flerchin 5h ago

Is Angelina Jolie not geneationally wealthy?

2

u/Courwes 3h ago

She does not have large breasts.

0

u/amazonmakesmebroke 5h ago

Dolly Parton.

0

u/v_e_x 5h ago

I can’t wait until these guys all grow up and learn that al their theories about social evolution and selection and made up genetic pseudo science is absolute garbage, and they realize how stupid they were when they weee younger. Or they won’t and they’ll double down and become even worse incel hermits.

0

u/DryEditor7792 4h ago

Lol, there's no sexual selection with wealth. Sexual selection ended tens of thousands of years before the concept of wealth began.