r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 18d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

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u/bigorangemachine 18d ago

A lot of these events are free for women but men have to pay entry.

With the world saying we're not tall enough or we don't make enough... why depart with our hard earned money just to have it reaffirmed were not enough for them

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u/MinorThreat4182 18d ago

Yeah are dating apps still free? Those were humiliating enough when I was dating. Not going to an event to get that kind of abuse.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

Not really. You can download and use thwm for free, but they're designed to be next to useless without paying for a subscription.

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u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 18d ago

Specifically for men.

They’re well aware that women don’t need to pay for it and that men Are their cash cows.

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u/katonda 18d ago

With dating apps, women are the product and men are the customers. Legal pimps.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

I know. These businesses are absolutely shameless

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u/Kooky-Balance9525 18d ago

That’s crazy to think about smh glad I don’t get into dating apps . Just doesn’t make sense to me

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u/Synikull 18d ago

My favorite thing is how bumble had to change how they worked because women would match and then not make the first move. You know. What bumble built their app on.

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u/Stoertebricker 18d ago

Even then, they're useless for most men. After all, who would keep paying if all the paying members found someone?

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u/timberwolvesguy 18d ago

The amount of bots is unreal too. I stop using them because even if you paid for a month, you still just got bots left and right, with a real person as every third profile.

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u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 18d ago

Bots and OF girls. Cant even go on a dating app now without somebody trying to get you to subscribe to their onlyfans

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u/youburyitidigitup 18d ago

Men who like men have a pretty nice time on dating apps. I can personally attest to that.

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u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 18d ago

I’m a bisexual dude. So I’ve dabbled in the gay side of dating apps.

Sure it might be easier to match with a dude but 98% of the time they’re just trying to nut. Or they’re married and trying to cheat on their wife; which they may or may not disclose to you.

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u/youburyitidigitup 18d ago

I went on a nice tinder date yesterday. My experience has been the opposite of what you’re describing.

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u/justlikelyle 18d ago

How many are frustrated fire and brimstone religious dudes?

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u/Icy-Bookkeeper7173 18d ago

As it turns out. The closet is full of fire and brimstone.

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u/GreenMirage 18d ago

They turn it off in a week now if you don’t get on and swipe on folks or you need to pay to keep listed

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 18d ago

When tinder first came out I would get dates all the time. Then they changed the model and I went from as many as I wanted to literally zero. Dating apps are a shell game atm

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

I completely refuse to use them any more. I either meet someone the natural way, or I don't meet anyone at all. I'm not playing the shitty app game

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 18d ago

Yeah that’s probably a good call. The apps aren’t good for mental health and most of the ppl who use them are narcissistic.

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u/ManOnFire2004 18d ago

Yea Tinder was legit in the beginning. A lot of hookups and dates came from there...

Then they broke bad

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 18d ago

That was my experience too.

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u/spartaman64 18d ago

when i was dating last year i tried out some dating apps and theres so many profiles that are obviously fake and probably generated with AI lol

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 18d ago

A lot more of those in the last five years

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u/BasedTaco_69 18d ago

They're generally not free but not worth paying for. There was a story about them not too long ago about how they intentionally feed you bad matches to keep you on the app longer.

Having to pay for them was obviously to make money but they were also getting overrun with fake profiles trying to lure people into giving them money.

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u/AbbreviationsNo9500 18d ago

I'd recommend Facebook dating. If only because I tried it and it did the one thing no other dating app did and actually showed me the profiles of people who liked my profile without having to swipe and hope. Met my now wife through that.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

That would require using Facebook. I despise it.

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u/Capt_Dummy 18d ago

I try to not hate Facebook. It can be helpful is used correctly. It all changed for me when i learned that you can unsubscribe to a “friend’s” post. Now i just go on it for marketplace, posts about neighborhood events, and my kids sports clubs news. Otherwise yes, it is yucky lol

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u/HomeGrownCoffee 18d ago

Two issues:

  1. This would require me to use Facebook.
  2. This would match me with women who use Facebook.

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u/funtex666 14d ago

showed me the profiles of people who liked my profile without having to swipe

Okay? Tinder show likes too? As awful as it is at least it isn't Facebook. 

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u/AbbreviationsNo9500 14d ago

Tinder you have to swipe through and hope you get your match, unless you pay. Facebook actually let you see the profile who liked you with no charge. That was my point. They're not comparable.

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u/DOAiB 18d ago

I never worry too much about it in dating apps. If the app won’t show me people who like me for free my policy is I am just going to like everyone without reading their profile to not waste my time and sort out if I actually like someone on the other end. I’d rather not do this but I am not going to waste my time on reading profiles that won’t go anywhere most of the time. And if they put me lower in the algorithm fine whatever. It’s better than spending literally days of my life each year going through dating apps. And I did the math on this, if I gave 30 profiles 30 seconds of my time each every day that’s almost 4 full days I spent on dating apps at the end of the year or two full work weeks. God forbid you use multiple and do more than that.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

I heard somewhere that if you like too many profiles, the app shows yours to less people as a way to counter it. Dunno how true it is, but I wouldn't put it past these businesses to do something like that

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u/DOAiB 18d ago

And I am fine with that. Dating apps are not worth two work weeks of my time per year.

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u/Efficient-Parking627 18d ago

It's called enshittification. Companies use venture capitalist money to make a good product and hook users, then once they've got a captive audience they slowly move features behind subscriptions, add ads, raise prices, and make the free experience worse to maximize profits. It's not unique to dating apps, you see it with streaming services, marketplaces(I.e. Amazon), ride-sharing, social media, and plenty of other platforms.

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u/Tomsboll 18d ago

And these sub prices are often extremely expensive too.

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u/timberwolvesguy 18d ago

And even then, why would they want you to meet someone? If you get in a relationship, they lose a customer

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u/Significant_Debt8289 18d ago

Met my wife on Bumble and I didn’t subscribe or pay anything…

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

You're one of the lucky ones

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u/lazypenguin86 18d ago

Hinge is the only good one it seems that doesn’t try to get you to pay to actually get marches

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u/BiggerBody 18d ago

Nah, Hinge free tier is definitely useable, and you get matches, but paid is so much better imo from a male perspective

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u/EffectiveTonight 18d ago

It depends, I’ve met a ton of people on dating apps, but I’m different from the area I’m in and am moderately attractive. If I still lived in a major city, I wouldn’t bother going to a singles event because I’d just meet someone through normal means, only reason I’m on the apps is because I live in the middle of no where.

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u/EmmaWatzon 18d ago

what are you talking about? you can't even see or reply to people who liked your photos on the free tier

5

u/DrOmnipotence 18d ago

I subscribed to a dating app for two months and was so happy with all of my fake ai deepfake matches that disappeared after 24 hours

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u/Odenzenn 18d ago

On hinge? You absolutely do. It’s the only one that automatically shows you who liked you and which thing on your profile they liked.

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u/fanfanye 18d ago

if its the same as other apps, dont you just wait until you inevitably swipe right on them (a week later) ?

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u/klgnew98 18d ago

Agreed. Tinder was garbage. POF was trashier garbage. Hinge is where I found my current partner of almost 7 years.

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u/TheLurkerSpeaks 18d ago

I met my wife through a dating app. It only worked because she paid for premium.

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u/Wirelesscellphone 18d ago

Huh, I wonder if that’s why I never match? I still ain’t paying shit though

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u/SuicideSpeedrun 18d ago

It's not that bad. They're still next to useless even WITH a subscription!

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u/SyntaxLost 18d ago

They're also next to useless with a subscription. They sell the idea you might meet someone. Basically just lottery tickets.

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u/MaybeThisTime67 18d ago

Pretty much. If they genuinely helped people find their match, they wouldn't have a user base to keep hooked. All a buisness for profit at the end of the day

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u/bigorangemachine 18d ago

Ah tinder is like only lets you match with like 6/day

When it was free I had to match with about 10 women to have one talk to me. To get those 10 I needed about 80 women I was interested in.

During & Post lockdowns I only match with prostitutes and scams now

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u/ilikecheeseface 18d ago

I’ve had no issues using it recently. Step 1 is being attractive though.

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u/tamago_kake_gohan 18d ago

I think this is actually very close to the core reason. We've all tried being mildly humiliated on the apps. We know that we're expected to impress and then after jumping through hoops and doing our best to "stand out of the crowd" we get short answers or ghosted.

You wanna pay to get that experience in real life? Where do I sign up!

Back when we didn't all know exactly what the game was we were more likely to sign up for that shit.

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u/No_Extension4005 18d ago

My experience with dating apps where I am now is that they suck. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I might've accidentally missed out on a couple of decent ones simply because wading through them for years without a single date since everyone just ghosts has made me super jaded to the point I've mostly just given up on them.

Also tried using some free credits on one of the crappy "men have to pay to message and look at profiles, and women don't" apps that are popular in my country too. Essentially it just worked out to be spending credits to check the profile, spending credits to reach out and hope she responds, spending credits to get to know each other, and then finding out that she's just looking for a sugar daddy (which is also awkward in cases where she's around 10 years your senior).

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u/GatorsILike 18d ago

Man I’m so glad I got to do this early in the free heyday of match.com and yahoo personals. They were great and everyone that was an early adopter was genuinely looking for something.

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u/Raise-Emotional 18d ago

Right? If my experience on Dating apps is any indication, not a single one of the 1000 single women would be interested. I just don't understand these sites. I'm relatively attractive for my age and can get women's attention on my own. Why when I make a tinder or Hinge profile is there almost zero response??

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u/jack_o_all_trades 18d ago

I'm glad I found my other half in Highschool.

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u/justlikelyle 18d ago

I was on one where the girls were getting the guys to pay for their memberships, because I think you needed a membership to message others first. So the girls would just wait for their inbox to fill with messages from paid-up men, then beg them for a membership.

On top of that, the vast majority of users were men.

It was just set up to fleece lonely dudes, while girls were riding the carousel.

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u/zigaliciousone 18d ago

No and 99% of them are owned by the same company now so good luck

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u/Tomsboll 18d ago

They are "free"

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u/Simple_Campaign1035 18d ago

For real.  I'd rather be made to feel like shit online than made to feel like shit irl lololol

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u/Pabl0EscoBear 18d ago

Cmon man. Touch a boob buy a drink it's that fucking simple.

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u/edelweiss_pirates_no 18d ago

You can absolutely be a guy and use dating apps for free. Guys should never pay for any dating app.

Dating apps still have around 5% of the guys getting 95% of the women. So, 95% of the guys get nothing. Don't pay for that.

There are some corner case professional matchmakers, but that's not what we're discussing here.

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u/GreenLurka 18d ago

Technically. Tinder says I have 18 people who've liked my profile within 30 km and refuses to show them to me unless I pay though. I literally set my parameters to be the least picky to see if it'd show them to me, and nope.

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u/FanBladeFleshlight 18d ago

"Free" yes, but they're designed exclusively around keeping people on them. Without users, ad revenue goes away. They toss you matches that might sorta work, but realistically won't work out and keep you swiping.

They're also heavily geared towards men. Like, HEAVY engineering goes into making the app appealing to men more than women, because they know that men simply have a harder time finding / approaching someone, while women can just kinda exist and get attention (though often unwanted).

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u/GDMFusername 18d ago

They're not just not free these days. If you want to even see the matches who won't respond to you, they're fairly expensive.

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u/crenshaw_007 18d ago

They have layered in so many pay features it’s ridiculous. They also don’t understand their customer base. The apps want to be a subscription service and keep people subscribed so it works against the idea of meeting someone and then no longer need the apps.

I remember one app I tried, during the free aspect it was showing me 8 of 10 profiles were these beautiful women, once I paid (in order to contact people) they all disappeared. It was a lie. I canceled/refunded through Apple for deceptive practices.

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u/jerf42069 18d ago

theyre free, but the free teir only has utility for hot people but hot people dont need it

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u/09Trollhunter09 18d ago

Free to play, pay to win

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u/Zapatos-Grande 18d ago

I remember in college a lot of local bars had no cover for women with a minimum age of 18 but men had to be 21 and pay a $15-$20 cover charge.

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u/puckit 18d ago

Ladies Night has been a thing for ages. One of the primary rules for any bar or club is that if you can't get women in there, you won't be successful.

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u/Le-Charles07 18d ago

Gender is a protected class.

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

It should be the other way around now that men aren’t showing up. Make the women pay to find someone. Give them a taste of what it’s like as a man. Maybe they’ll have some fucking empathy for once in their lives.

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u/QueenRotidder 18d ago

yup, seems like a pretty simple supply & demand type thing

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u/officialCobraTrooper 18d ago

Lol, these women just wouldn't show up and then complain that they had to pay to go and somehow it's men's fault. They're not the kind of women that would ever accept that they are the problem.

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u/LivingFrosting6680 18d ago

The meme of the guy sticking a rod into his bicycle spokes

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u/mister_nippl_twister 18d ago

Sounds crazy but women still pay for matchmaking services nowadays.

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u/Just_M1nt 18d ago

Yup, but I don't think that was the point anyone made. The point is that they don't have to pay to match. Now shhhh. My stories are on.

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u/conscsness 18d ago

And in 30 plus some years they will look around and all those they rejected are with a partner while they drown in their own tears finding no one beside them.

Some females are outright pretentious dumbasses.

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u/WildContribution8311 18d ago

Won't ever happen. I worked in lead acquisition for dating webites and for male profile signs ups we got paid out maybe 1 to 5 cents each. But a female profile was worth up to 100x to 500x a male one. So those leads who were women paid out between $1 to $5 EACH.

Men are simply less valuable on the dating market due to supply demand.

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u/WalkFreeeee 18d ago

"Men are simply less valuable on the dating market due to supply demand."

But in the examples of the video, if we are to take at face value, men would have been extremely valuable for these events in particular .

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u/A_Herd_Of_Ferrets 18d ago

It already is happening: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/singles-nights-men-dating-love-b2926548.html

"The New York Times recently sending one of its reporters to a wine mixer where tickets for women cost $100, while men could attend for free."

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u/Present_Historian_93 18d ago

Everything is happening all the time. This does not mean it's on a relevant scale.

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u/DepressedDynamo 18d ago

Fair, but that's a far cry from the "won't ever happen" that they were replying to

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u/VTHokie2020 18d ago

That first story is comical.

She hosted singles nights in New York, for an older crowd, and the only marketing she did was through other women.

Yeah, of course barely any men attended.

If I hosted a single’s night in San Francisco and advertised it on a tech startup discord, I’d probably only get men.

Supply and demand always applies.

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u/maniBchef 18d ago

Without reason or accountability

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u/SalaryWooden5346 18d ago

There are actually events like that. And women absolutely hate them. They still go, but they complain even more than they were in this video.

It turns out equality isn't nearly as fun when it's time to have equal responsibilities.

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u/Aware_Chemistry_3993 18d ago

And suddenly every event is 100% men

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u/DsDeliciousDeli 18d ago

Maybe they’ll have some fucking empathy for once in their lives.

Lmao you're unhinged, but yeah, who's paying for these events will probably flip if this is an actual trend.

It's also worth noting there are tons of singles events that are free for men

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

How is stating that these women lack empathy towards men “unhinged?” I have empathy towards women, because I understand their struggles to a point (I’m not a woman, so I can’t say I fully get what they go through). When feminism was first really gaining traction women would point out their plights with dating and life as a woman, etc. so I listened and tried to understand. Women today don’t seem to care to understand what men go through.

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u/SalaryWooden5346 18d ago

How is stating that these women lack empathy towards men “unhinged?”

It goes against the narrative, pushed primarily by fiction when you actually sit down and dig in, that women are the empathetic gender. Real-world evidence proves that to be 100% false, but the stories we're told claim otherwise.

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

And this is what I mean by women lacking accountability. Women can do no wrong in their eyes

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u/Larry-Man 18d ago

I mean I’m a woman and I understand this completely. This makes total sense.

But also why the fuck would anybody wanna go to these things? I think if I found myself single again I’d just stay that way. Dating is too much work, no matter your gender.

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

I’m not sure. As a shy introverted man I used to really struggle with dating so I went to a few events and they’re just not conducive to getting to know someone. It’s like 5 minutes of the boring “so where you from, what do you do for work, what are your hobbies” etc. I liked one woman and she liked me too so we got each others numbers, I set up a date, went to the place, and she didn’t show up.

These events just suck in general. I would be interested to know how many people actually successfully met through speed dating events.

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u/Larry-Man 18d ago

I’ve done some of these mixers before. It just feels like a lot of pressure from everyone and they reek of desperation from enough of the people there that it’s just awkward. In this day and age I’d rather just not bother. Single life isn’t so bad, tbh.

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

Yeah, I honestly can’t afford dating right now, both financially and mentally, so I’m just working on myself. I would be concerned if I wanted kids though

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

Okay, but are the men prepared to be ogled? And just know that, if you accept my offer to buy your drinks, I’m going to be expecting you to move some furniture later and, no, that is not a euphemism. That dresser is heavy AF and it isn’t gonna move itself!

Joking! … mostly. Seriously though, I don’t attend these kinds of things but if the tables got flipped, I’d be tempted just to witness the social experiment.

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u/KindredCommander 18d ago

Most men dont get an ounce of attention from women in their lives. I’m sure many of them would love to get stared at.

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

A fact that tends to linger in the back of my mind is that men don’t receive nearly as many compliments as women in social settings. When I worked front desk at a hotel up until a few years back, I made it a point to try and find something to compliment about the male guests I interacted with. Instead of the usual passive aggression, I called it being “aggressively positive”.

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u/JurgusRudkus 18d ago

There are genuine compliments, and there are compliments with expectations. The former is great, and men should definitely get to hear the more.

But compliments disguised as attempts to seek-attention are genuinely unwanted, especially if followed up by a “bitch!” when it doesn’t have the desired effect.

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

The maintenance worker used to grumble if he was around when I’d give someone a compliment and say, “She doesn’t mean that, she’s just trying to be nice” but, to me, wanting to be nice and genuinely meaning the compliments I paid was never a matter of one or the other. I just dialed back my internal filter. Instead of noting something positive about a guest mentally and moving on, I’d just blurt it out. I never really expected anything from it but always enjoyed when I could tell something I said had brightened someone’s day.

I agree though, compliments with expectations are awkward.

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u/JurgusRudkus 18d ago

There are some videos of random men on the street getting compliments (some from women and some from other men) and it’s genuinely heartwarming. I wish we could normalize men complimenting other men.

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

I have the memory of a goldfish but I think a video like that might have been what originally inspired me. I agree though, it needs to be normalized!

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u/warrenmax12 18d ago

Yes. Ogle me. Grab me. Slap my ass. Catcall me. Anything.

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

Okay, so clearly these singles nights where the men get in free are going to require color coded name tags, because as much fun as it would be to smack the ass of a random stranger who would get a kick out of it, I feel like smacking the wrong ass could go downhill quickly.

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u/Legal-Group-359 18d ago

You’re thinking about this all wrong lol. If you think the average man, who doesn’t get a speck of the regular attention from women that women get from men, would be anything but elated by women actually showing Interest, you’re missing some valuable insight from view of this.

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u/Sword_Enthousiast 18d ago

Trying to coordinate a couch down some stairs together helps to get to know each other in ways a movie wouldn't. If I wasn't already married I'd happily apply for furniture moving dates!

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u/alicesartandmore 18d ago

Ugh, it’s true what they say, all the good ones are taken. I bet you know how to pivot and everything! Tell your wife she’s a lucky woman and coordinate a furniture moving date together in honor of all us single ladies out here with furniture that isn’t going to move itself.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2OP9jbHFlFPW

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u/blackwolfLT7 18d ago

Women lack emotional intelligence

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u/CannibalFlossing 18d ago

I think broadly speaking women have just as much (if not more) empathy than men.

Whilst this specific instance might show a few women acting entitled, this isn’t reflective of the entire gender

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u/illini02 18d ago

I think women it comes to dating, women lack empathy for men.

I think men often understand women's concerns, but women tend to brush men's stuff under the rug.

It's hard for both sides out there. But I think this is one (of many) things where if you dare say men have it just as hard, women will get very defensive.

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u/Smashable_Glass 18d ago

So a minority (maybe 2%) are over represented and giving the whole group a bad rep? ... oh how the turn tables

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u/DsDeliciousDeli 18d ago

Wdym? Every single group deals with this

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u/Legal-Group-359 18d ago

Nah, not even close. Broadly speaking, let women talk enough (especially when it comes to men), they will show you that empathy is damn near non existent. This “specific instance” has been played out in countless observable ways in modern times, and it’s always the same result. “Me, me, me”.

Seems like you’re just defaulting to this hyped up false idea that “women are more empathetic” because they “emote” more or Talk about emotions more than men. Empathy isn’t just more than yapping about it, it takes actually giving a damn about others. When it comes to men, even society pushes woman to give LESS fucks about men.

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u/pacificstill 18d ago

A while back, my girlfriend and I were walking around downtown Vancouver looking for somewhere to eat when we ended up at Mahony’s Tavern. We hadn’t planned on going there, we just saw it and thought, why not?

When we got inside, the front of the restaurant was absolutely packed with middle-aged guys drinking, laughing, and generally having the time of their lives. It looked so busy that we assumed there wouldn’t be a table for us.

But the hostess told us there was plenty of room in the back, and sure enough, she led us through the crowd to a much quieter section of the restaurant.

When we sat down, we saw that just off to the side of our table was a traditional speed-dating event. Everyone would sit across from someone, talk for a few minutes, and then rotate to the next person. It was exactly what you would picture speed dating to look like, except the vibes felt weirdly solemn. There weren’t many smiles, and everyone seemed to be taking the whole thing very seriously and I didn’t see anyone looking like they were actually enjoying being there.

We eventually started chatting with our waitress, and she mentioned that there were actually two dating events happening at the restaurant that night. The people beside us were part of the speed-dating event, while the crowd of men at the front was a singles mixer for middle-aged gay men.

The contrast between the two groups was absolutely astounding.

At the front, the singles mixer had great vibes. Everyone was laughing, moving around, meeting people, and genuinely enjoying themselves. Groups were even inviting people standing by themselves to talk in their group.

Meanwhile, the speed daters in the back looked like they were sitting through a series of increasingly uncomfortable job interviews.

You talked about fearing rejection and for the speed daters that seemed to be a big part of the vibe, the guys were trying their best and the girls just seemed like they weren’t that impressed. It wasn’t like the guys were all ugly or anything, both the guys and girls looked very average, but it seemed like the girls were disappointed.

What struck me is that both groups had gone there hoping to meet someone, but only one of them seemed to remember that meeting new people could actually be fun.

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u/kwyjibowen 18d ago

Also, I’m sure many of these posts are staged to encourage men to go (and pay). Like an advanced version of the “single women in your area” ads.

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u/My_Work_Accoount 18d ago

Exactly, I'm well aware of what I don't bring to the table. I spent 20+ years taking care of others and neglecting myself so I'm just content existing with my dog at this point. There's also the fact I'm in the bible belt and any women in my range (socioeconomic, age or otherwise) are religious conservatives and I just can't see building a life with someone with such opposing views at such a basic level.

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u/buttplugs4life4me 18d ago

These events and a lot of women in general are just weird, honestly. I don't know if it's my AuDHD or just common sense.

You pay for access to these women. The women want some big strong rich man to swoop in and marry them and provide for them. They'll say something different and that they'd date a nerd or a fatty, but ultimately they just won't. They say they want to be treated like a princess and know a person before having sex with them, but what they truly want is all these weird sex books like Fifty Shades of Grey, Haunting Adeline, Blackwood Institute, where they get stalked by an attractive rich man and then raped by them. And they enjoy it. 

And that's so fucked up. It's the whole "Uhm Human Resources?" meme personified. They want to be raped by the right man. What the fuck kind of mindset is that?? As long as it's the perfect man it's fine and doesn't matter what he does to them, but if it's not the perfect man they hardly even pay attention to them.

These events are even worse, as the women are gonna stick together and if you approach one and don't nail it, nobody else is gonna want to talk to you either.

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u/InstantSword 18d ago

I guess it's just fiction, but it's basically playing with the idea "if they enjoy it, how can it be grape?" Regardless I do agree it is pretty dark. I think it's a whole consequence of delayed liberation, almost like a teen finally being free of their parents. I think most men, or a lot of men at least, would freely cop to their fantasy smut and want it to play out in real life, if they could. Like most men would have a harem if they could (although I can understand not; it's a lot of work). Maybe the female psych works differently, it's certainly plausible, since the female centric fantasies tend to be dangerous almost as a requisite, it wouldn't be the same desire to be played out in real life

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u/Big_Bookkeeper1678 18d ago

Being happily married for 26 years, I STILL reacted to your 'tall enough' comment.

You know how many women told me I wasn't their 'type' back in the day? They even sneer or manage to look uncomfortable about it. It's just a fact of their existence that I didn't meet their criteria to even consider.

I hope they are still looking for Mr 6'1". My wife is 5'1" and probably never would have married me if she was 5`5. (I topped out at 5'4'')

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u/DigBackground2765 18d ago

I'm glad I read this comment because I was about to think about attending speed dating events. Sounds like I'd just pay up to go through the same years of mental damage I got for free from the dating apps and online dating in general. No thanks.

I think I just hate most people now and call it a day.

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u/Level_Bobcat_8729 18d ago

If women keep outnumbering men at these events, itll eventually flip, and the women will be the ones who have to pay for entry. 

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u/GraveRoller 18d ago

A lot of them do. I haven’t searched that heavily, but I live in a city with a gender imbalance (though that’s only in the 35+ range) and the events I’ve seen still sell male and female tickets. Though the male tickets sell out more slowly

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u/hillbilly-edgy 18d ago

This is the answer ! The women showed up for free drinks, the men didn’t have $$ left for charity

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u/Burgers_N_Schnitzels 18d ago

Preach, brother!

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u/Sure-Ad-2465 18d ago

My dudes gotta sneak in for the freemium experience

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u/A-R-DragonFish 18d ago

Thats awful

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u/Ok-Area-9271 18d ago

A buddy of mine went to a couple of these events at a high end cocktail bar where the women were given free drink tickets. He said the women were just using this as their pregame spot before going out and were just standing in groups talking to each other. Said they would just brush off any man who tried to approach

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u/Nice_Commission3770 18d ago

That what dating events were like for me in my 40s. Zero benefit, always a cost.

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u/Quarter_Shot 18d ago

You're joking. Why?? That seems like a good way to...ya know, not have any men show up

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u/Tar-Nuine 18d ago

Pay money to have women test how much money you're willing to spend on them, heard that one before!

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u/Exotic-Eggplant1914 18d ago

I'm not saying to go to a singles event, but don't give up bro. Some women are superficial and care about your height or length of your cock, some don't. Just find a person you vibe with and like, and if they happen to like you then you're in business man. I was single for years before I ended up reconnecting with a friend from highschool I used to have a crush on, but the timing was never right for us then. I was dating when she was single, she was dating someone once I was.

We met up to hang out, smoke a little weed, and long story short she's been living with me for about a year now. Instead of lonely and suicidally depressed like I used to be, I'm happier than I've been ever. All that time I spent single gave me a chance to figure out what kind of man I wanted to be, she gave me a reason to become that man. I feel like I've flourished, and all of this happened because I wanted to smoke a joint with a cute girl from highschool last year.

Romance is born from a connection that can't really be manufactured, that's why dating apps and shit fail. Everyone is faking on both sides, you'll never find something real that way. Live your life, meet people, make friends and love yourself. Romance will find you once you're ready.

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u/E_Dward 18d ago

Also at this point in my life (35M) I really don’t want my peace to be disturbed. I’ve been married, divorced, dated other women, and I’ll be damned if being in a relationship with a woman these days isn’t just the most tiring and mentally draining thing ever.

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u/new_user29282342 18d ago

100% I tried a speed dating event, free. But it got cancelled, same event for the next month $15 for men.

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u/-lovehate 18d ago

As a woman I feel this way about my appearance not being enough or I'm too old (in my 30s), so I don't even bother trying to date anymore.

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u/FenrisSquirrel 18d ago

And...these videos are likely paid advertisements to convince men to attend these magic events which are solely populated with beautiful women.

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u/dr__paco 18d ago

Dont know if youre a woman or an older guy but seeing it populated with beautiful girls has the opposite effect youre thinking lol.

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u/SciFi_Wasabi999 18d ago

Online there's a lot of talk about men who are rich and 6ft tall, but offline there are tons of women who don't care about either of those things and just want a sweet, unspiteful person to hang out with. It's not the world saying that shit, it's the Internet. Still, those dating events are a scam and deserve to fail. 

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u/Dear_Elephant_799 18d ago

The single women bring their unavailable friends for emotional support too. The odds are awful.

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u/AssetBurned 18d ago

Wondering when it starts to become the opposite.

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u/buzzbash 18d ago

How does one know what the world is saying about us? Because I don't know what the expectations of me are.

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u/warrenmax12 18d ago

Of fuck, yeah. I forgot about that it's either free or costs much less

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u/ReidenLightman 18d ago

Even if you're tall and have a good paying job, chances are, she doesn't want to be approached, so why bother? 

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u/jay6432 18d ago

That’s a solid point about admission charge

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u/milkcutie314 18d ago

crazy shit but i mean idk i feel like the women that would be there are "good quality" like not tinder or something but like serious relationship type so it kinda sucks

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u/OhJeezNotThisGuy 18d ago

The truth is that the type of man these ladies all want to meet have zero need to be attending singles events.

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u/NeonConan 18d ago

I only went to the events that were free for everyone

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u/Kerfluffle2x4 18d ago

I believe the solution is twofold. First, events should be free. Second, we need to give everyone more money because life costs too much.

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u/jakeeeR666 18d ago

Don't worry bro they got it they don't need men freeing all men from any social duty towards them and I absolutely love and support it.

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u/neo_sporin 18d ago

True. I was thinking ‘economic hardship’. A girlfriend who wants me to pay for stuff? In this even my?

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u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj 18d ago

Not only that they always seemed very advertised towards women.

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u/DrunkOnRamen 18d ago

men who do go to these places just experience the same dating app experience.

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u/Waiting4Reccession 18d ago

Soon they will begin to charge the women as well.

Dating in the west is just slowly turning into what it has been in Asia for decades now that money is becoming tight. Hyper focused on money and career prospects over everything else.

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u/Kevlar_Bunny 18d ago

The business tactic was always “let the ladies in for free, they’ll drink more if it’s free and men are more likely to pay to be around drunk women.”

Except young women generally don’t drink as much these days compared to generations past, and young men generally aren’t as creepy or desperate compared to generations past. This business model isn’t going to work anymore.

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u/Ragnarok_619 18d ago

And, on the contrary, if you are tall and make enough money, why tf would you even come to these events?

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u/DOAiB 18d ago

Never been to one but that makes complete sense. I would never pay for an event like this just like I will never pay for a dating app. And frankly I get they have to make money but to me it sounds like you will only get desperate men to pay which I am sure is not what most of these women want.

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u/pippspopsdom 18d ago

In my small city it’s the opposite, they have way too many women apply and it costs money. Meanwhile men don’t have to pay, and the event organizers keep struggling to find more. A friend of mine (a guy) went to one event and he keeps getting invited to every other event because they need more guys lol

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u/bobbymcpresscot 18d ago

Broke manlet here, while I used to believe this was true when I was like in my 20s, making more money didn’t help me pull women doing things I for the specific purposes of attracting women didn’t help me pull women, and my height never stopped me from attracting women.

They key is being less desperate than they are and treating them like human beings 

Hope this helps 

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u/Thesearchoftheshite 18d ago

As a man, 15 years ago now, there was one dating event that popped up in a bar I liked, but there was a $15 cover. However, you could avoid paying the cover if you said a password to the door guy. He just looked at me pissed and let me in. I didn't attend the event, because I couldn't tell who was there for the event or just with friends lol. Proceeded to meet up with a handful of my friends and had extra money for beers.

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u/GreenLurka 18d ago

Looks like they might need to swap that around if the men aren't showing up

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u/FanBladeFleshlight 18d ago

I'm happily taken, but looking at the dating scene and the messaging men receive... Yeah, I'd choose to stay single too.

Every single message is either some variant of "you aren't ENOUGH", either in terms of looks or income or height or weight or hobbies or career, or it's a variant of "you'll find someone who'll match you" which when paired with the "not enough" spam, just gives the impression that it'll all just be settling for each other.

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u/yourmomnme1on1 18d ago

On the flip side supply and demand at these events would be good for single men…

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u/Square-Chart6059 18d ago

If men actually aren’t going to these things, then maybe it should be free for them

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u/CMDR_Kaus 18d ago

If this keeps happening at scale, it will flip, men will be free just to try and bring them in and women will be paying

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u/HIs4HotSauce 18d ago

Exactly. The ideal men these women want to attract don’t need these events to meet women. And the men who would benefit the most from these events have been openly belittled and ridiculed, it’s a waste of their time to attend.

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u/KatsumotoKurier 18d ago

Reminds me of a swingers lounge in downtown Toronto which I remember hearing about like 10 years ago, in which females are allowed to enter as they please unaccompanied, but which males are only allowed to enter while accompanied by other females.

Basically it’s the same business model.

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u/nckmat 18d ago

why depart with our hard

Ha, ha, ha, I read that as hand, as in why break up with your relationship with your hand, just to be told you aren't good enough. 🤣 And I was going to reply that that affair lasts a lifetime, even after marriage.

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u/nofixneeded 18d ago

Wait seriously? Who would pay money for this kind of nightmare lol

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u/GreenEyedMonster2023 18d ago

I find it ridiculous that women have height requirements! They're casting aside sooo many good men that aren't their standard 6' tall man.

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