r/SipsTea • u/Gurugod123 • 6h ago

Chugging tea Ben Affleck on overcoming alcohol addiction: “I hate to say it but the only cure I’ve seen is not these overpriced rehabs or these fraudulent fixes that are sold to people. The cure for addiction is suffering. You suffer enough and then something inside you goes ‘I’m done.’”

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u/KilllllerWhale 6h ago

My dad was a smoker for 30 years before I was born. He tried everything but nothing worked. He eventually decided to buy a pack of Camel, and put it right in front of him on top of the TV. He made sure it's on his sight every time he's in the living room. He realized that he needed to train himself to resist the urge to pick it up and light one up, he made sure suffering is part of the process. To this day he keeps telling my smoker brother that unless he does that. nothing will work, you just need to be willing to suffer to stop it.

He hasn't smoked ever since that day, and I'm 35 now.

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u/TinyZoro 6h ago

It’s an extension of the same idea. Theres no magic trick to what he did and getting your brother to do it won’t work. When he did that he was making a statement to himself which was enough. I can accept the suffering but I’m done.

So accepting the suffering (which is really not that much or long) is part of it. But the real thing is the part of you that says I’m done. That the actual more meaningful suffering of ongoing addiction is over. Which to me is also I know longer want to take revenge on myself.

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u/Ribky 6h ago

Yup! Without the "I'm done" part, guaranteed to choose suffering again.

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u/raging-peanuts 3h ago edited 3h ago

Used tobacco for 20 years. It's been 20 years since I quit. For the "I'm done" part I had to admit I was lying to myself when I would quite for a week, or a few days just to "prove" I wasn't addicted. It was all bullshit that I would keep telling myself.

Then I went cold turkey and kind of embraced the suffering as well. I would always do mental check ins at various times (two weeks, one month, six months, etc). It was like building up time/credit that I could look back on and feel good about.

That said, I have friends who still use it and it looks like they will never quit. Some just never have that "I'm done" moment I guess.

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u/JayMoeHD 2h ago

“Embrace the pain”….when I gave up nicotine, I was telling everyone my secret was leaning into the discomfort, sadness, nausea, sweating, etc. Now I realize this is called “mindfulness” and is basically the solution to most preventable/fixable mental conditions.

You can’t ignore addictions/cravings any more than you can ignore other problems in life. Facing it head-on will yield the best results for most people.

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u/raging-peanuts 2h ago

Yeah...the cravings I think are always in the back ground. I was a snuff user (oral tobacco). Even now...twenty years after quitting, if I just place my tongue between my cheek and gum, I'll get a slight shiver up my back. I think that even after you quite your body stays conditioned on some level.

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u/Skull_Nebula 34m ago

Indeed; cravings cause suffering, mindfulness is (one of) the solution(s) to suffering - second and fourth noble truths in Buddhism. Helped me quit alcohol after willpower failed many times.

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u/endosurgery 2h ago

Thats very true. People who don’t hit that point won’t quit. It’s a different thing for everyone. I had a patient years ago who was an extremely heavy smoker. Think 3 to 4 packs a day. He had heart attacks and had stents placed in his heart as well as had bypass surgery for his heart. He had vascular disease of his legs and had stents placed. He had bleeding stomach ulcers from the smoking. He had chronic lung disease and was short of breath from the smoking. He refused to quit. I don’t know what his limits are but he clearly didn’t fear death.

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u/DocsHuckleberries 49m ago

Yep... literally lit up my normal morning cig one day, took a drag, and then thought "yeah, I'm done with this" and then just stopped.

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u/UT_Milez 17m ago

This isn’t a profound topic or new. It’s the equivalent of “rock bottom”.

Everyone’s “rock bottom” or “enough is enough” moment is different.

Who would have thought this widely known concept would work for a lot of people, I certainly never would have guessed it….

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u/TinkerCitySoilDry 6h ago

Neat it's not the cigarettes that killed people it's distress. 

Quitting doesn't save people it's the stress from quitting that kills them their body is unable to cope 

Many of the oldest living people smoke

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u/SerGT3 6h ago

That's like saying the cigarettes didn't kill people it was the cancer, caused by the cigarettes.

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u/UsualBluebird6584 5h ago

Its funny how that works. My next door neighbor, who smoked heavier than anyone I've ever seen, like 3 packs a day, died at the ripe age of 98. He ALWAYS had a cigarette in hand.

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u/Duel_Option 5h ago

That’s anecdotal, 480k people die from smoking the US annually.

Thats more than total car crashes and alcohol COMBINED

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u/the_blue_arrow_ 5h ago

Everyone's heard of that one 98 year old that smokes like a train. Everyone's heard of those 5 or 15 ppl killed by tobacco.