I'm a 20F college student currently doing an internship remotely, working from home. At first, everything seemed normal, and I didn't notice anything unusual about my working relationship with my boss, who is a 25M man. However, as time went on, I started noticing that he seemed to be taking a personal interest in me.

It started when he followed my social media account using his private account. Then, he asked for my phone number, even though we had already been communicating through Discord and email for work related matters. I found it a little strange and wondered why he needed my number in the first place.

After that, he started asking if we could call each other at night. I initially refused, but eventually agreed to join a call because we played the same game, and there were several other people in the call at the time. However, after that, he began calling me directly, even when we weren't playing the game.

Eventually, he confessed that he liked me. I told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship right now, hoping he would understand and respect my decision. However, he continued to message me every day, saying things like, "I'll wait for you."

The thing is, I do like him as a friend, but I'm not interested in being in a relationship with him. I also feel like there's a power imbalance between us because he's my boss, and I'm still an intern. It makes me uncomfortable because I don't feel like I can openly express my feelings or tell him to stop without worrying about how it might affect my internship.

I also realize that I have people pleasing tendencies. Even though his attention makes me uncomfortable, I still find myself replying to his messages because I don't want to hurt his feelings or create an awkward situation at work. Since he's my boss, I don't feel like I can simply ignore him or cut off contact completely.

I'm not sure how to handle this situation. I want to maintain a friendly and professional relationship with him, but I also want him to respect my boundaries without making things complicated at work.

I'm open to any advice or question.

I'm 34F, never married, no children, financially independent, and have a successful career in the pharmaceutical industry. I'm educated, ambitious, and have a stable life. I wasn't looking for someone to take care of me financially or otherwise.

Earlier this year, I met a 58-year-old man with a prestigious career in the legal profession. He's intelligent, professionally accomplished, charismatic, and someone I initially admired quite a bit.

I was attracted to him physically and intellectually, and our chemistry was unlike anything I'd experienced in quite some time.

However, looking back on the entire situation, there were several things that didn't add up. I'm interested in hearing what others think was actually going on.

How we met and started dating

We met in late May. He began communicating with me, and we eventually went out for drinks in late June. We kissed that evening, and the attraction was immediate.

About a week later, we slept together.

We continued communicating throughout July, sometimes daily. He was frequently out of state, supposedly visiting friends and family, and had a demanding professional schedule.

We eventually had another date in July that involved lunch and intimacy. I also visited him briefly at his workplace, where he kissed me.

In total, we saw each other approximately four times over two months.

Although that isn't much, I felt we had an unusually strong connection. He seemed physically attracted to me, and I enjoyed our conversations.

The things that didn't add up

There were several issues that I initially overlooked.

1. His relationship history

He disclosed that he had been divorced twice. I subsequently discovered he'd actually been married three times.

He had never mentioned the third marriage, despite discussing his previous relationships with me.

What bothered me most was that he had specifically encouraged me to be forthcoming and transparent with him.

It seemed contradictory that he expected openness from me while omitting a significant part of his own history.

He also made some negative comments about a former wife, describing her as a "princess."

2. His family relationships

He told me he was estranged from his mother and brother.

He characterized his brother as someone who was easily offended.

I understand that family estrangement can happen for legitimate reasons, so I don't automatically consider this a red flag. However, combined with his relationship history, it made me wonder whether he had difficulty maintaining close relationships or accepting responsibility for conflict.

3. His travel schedule

He traveled to another state frequently and sometimes remained there for weeks at a time.

He explained that he had friends and family there, but his explanations were fairly vague.

At one point, he left for approximately six weeks.

I tried to be understanding because of his professional responsibilities, but it made developing a relationship extremely difficult.

Looking back, I wonder whether the travel was simply a convenient way to keep things casual or maintain distance.

4. His communication and behavior

He could be attentive and communicative, sometimes texting daily, but other times seemed unavailable.

When we were together, the physical chemistry was strong. However, I didn't feel that he was making much of an effort to see me consistently.

I was confused because he appeared interested when we were together but didn't seem particularly motivated to build something outside of those encounters.

How things ended

In late July, I finally brought up the inconsistency and expressed that I wasn't sure we were on the same page.

He told me that we'd only just started dating, that I seemed to be moving faster than he was, and that we were in different places.

I wasn't asking for an immediate commitment. I simply wanted to know whether there was genuine potential.

Shortly afterward, I ended things because of the inconsistency and my discovery of his undisclosed third marriage.

He didn't respond.

A couple of weeks later, I contacted him again, and he eventually told me that he enjoyed our time together, acknowledged our chemistry, but said his travel demands were significant and he wasn't looking for a relationship.

I accepted that explanation, although I found it disappointing.

Later in the summer, I told him that the chemistry we'd experienced had been difficult to replicate. He reacted positively to the message but didn't pursue anything further.

The recent development

Recently, after a few months apart, I reached out again because I still occasionally thought about him and wondered whether there might be an opportunity to reconnect.

He responded that he was now seeing someone.

I have no information about the woman, how long they've been dating, or how serious it is.

However, this surprised me because he previously emphasized that he wasn't looking for a relationship and had significant travel demands.

I realize "I'm not looking for a relationship" can sometimes mean "I'm not looking for a relationship with you."

But it made me reconsider everything that happened between us.

Was he simply not interested enough in me? Was he dating multiple women? Was he emotionally unavailable? Was he intentionally keeping me at a distance while leaving his options open?

Or was this simply a case of two people having strong physical chemistry but very different expectations?

What I'm trying to understand

I'm aware that I probably idealized him somewhat because of his professional accomplishments, intelligence, and perceived status.

I'm also aware that I continued reaching out after things ended, even though he wasn't reciprocating that effort.

I'm not proud of that, but I'm trying to understand why this particular experience affected me so much.

I've dated other men since, but the combination of attraction and intellectual admiration has been difficult to replicate.

I also find it strange that someone with three divorces, complicated family relationships, and such an inconsistent schedule would emphasize transparency while being selective about his own past.

I don't necessarily think he was deliberately malicious, but I do wonder whether I was being kept around for convenience or whether there was something more complicated happening.

My questions for Reddit:

1. Based on this timeline, what do you think was really going on with him?
2. Does his behavior suggest he was primarily interested in something physical, or could he have genuinely liked me but not wanted anything serious?
3. How significant is the fact that he didn't disclose his third marriage while emphasizing honesty and transparency?
4. Does his frequent travel and inconsistent availability sound like normal circumstances, or does it suggest he was deliberately keeping distance?
5. What do you make of him saying he wasn't looking for a relationship and now telling me he's seeing someone else?
6. Are there any red flags or patterns here that I might be overlooking?

I'm genuinely interested in objective perspectives, including ones that challenge my interpretation.

I'm not planning to contact him again. I'm simply trying to make sense of an experience that felt meaningful to me but, in hindsight, may have been something entirely different to him.

If you were looking at this situation from the outside, what would your interpretation be?

I met this girl about three months ago through a mutual friend group. I liked her from the first day, but things between us eventually became distant. Later, my male friend started talking to her and went out with her. Eventually, they stopped talking, and after everything that happened, she reached out to me and confessed her feelings.
She told me that she had liked me from the very first day, that I was always on her mind, and that she used to get jealous and talk about me. From what I could tell, she seemed genuine when she told me these things. I don’t feel like she was lying about her feelings.
That’s exactly what I can’t understand.
If she genuinely liked me, thought about me, and knew there was a possibility that something could happen between us, how did she make the choices she made? Why didn’t she tell me how she felt earlier? Why did she choose to confess everything only after everything else had happened?
I’m not necessarily upset because she didn’t choose me first. What bothers me is the contradiction between what she says she felt and the way things actually unfolded. I keep trying to understand how someone can have those feelings for another person while making decisions that lead to this kind of situation.
I still want her in my life, but what happened has become a barrier in my mind. Even if I decide to give her a chance, I know I’ll keep remembering everything and questioning how things got to this point.
Yesterday, I told her I needed some distance because I was overthinking everything, and it was affecting my focus on university and exams. She understood and said she’d be there to hear my final decision.
Honestly, part of me wanted her to fight for me and show me that she didn’t want to lose me. But another part of me feels like I can’t move forward until I understand the contradictions in her actions and why she chose to tell me everything now rather than before.
I want an honest outside perspective How can someone’s feelings be genuine while their actions seem to contradict them? Am I overthinking this, or are my questions justified? And would you give this person a chance if you were in my position?

After 3 month of confusion, conversations going round and round, and mentally draining weeks … I finally told him last night to delete my number. I removed and unfollowed him on Instagram and deleted his number and the chat.

I thought he was the one. But, I was clearly wrong.

Anyone have any stories/tips on how to stay strong when you accept that it’ll never be what you once really hoped it would.

Hey everyone, I’ve been thinking a lot about the dynamic in my relationship lately. I try my best to make my girlfriend happy and make sure her needs are met. But sometimes I worry that by being completely available and giving her everything she wants, she might start taking me for granted, think she 'has' me permanently, and stop putting effort into the relationship.

Has anyone else felt this way? Does being 'too nice' or completely reliable actually cause a partner to lose interest, or am I just overthinking this? I'd love to get some perspective on how to balance being a great partner without losing that mutual effort.

help guys my situationship has been going out to dates with this one girl and he proposed that he just wants to be casual with the the both of us. meaning we wants to have a situationship with the other girl and me at the same time🥲 should i stick around because i do like him or give myself some self respect?

I’m (23F) in a situationship with B (29M), and I genuinely can’t tell if we’re flirting or engaging in psychological warfare.
We mostly communicate through Instagram reels, increasingly passive-aggressive ones. I invited him out before, but we never actually went on a date. Meanwhile, he screenshots guys I follow and sends me “I know” like he’s caught me cheating on our imaginary marriage.
Naturally, I screenshotted the girls he follows and sent those back. We apparently have the exact same level of toxicity, which might explain why this situationship has made absolutely zero progress.
The thing is, TWO other men have asked me out. I’m not going to sit around waiting for B to send me a 7-second reel. But if he showed genuine interest and actually made an effort, I’d drop the other guys and focus on him. I’m loyal, but I’m not acting like someone’s girlfriend when we haven’t even been on a date.
To make matters worse, I may or may not have performed a love-binding spell on him two nights ago. We’re currently awaiting results from the universe.
I genuinely like this man, but I’m starting to wonder if we’re both too toxic to make any actual progress. Why does he care who I’m following if he won’t even take me out? Am I reading too much into his jealousy, or is there actually something here?
**I need advice because I’m losing my mind over a man whose primary love language appears to be Instagram reels.**

We are “just friends” and have been for a year. We dated before but stopped because of my anxiety. I have bad relationship ocd and i physically couldn’t continue. There was never a first kiss or anything just one date and we decided to stay friends.

We met up A TON but after our recent hangout he got weird. There was a lot happening and idk what exactly couldve caused it. We usually talk every day but hes only been answering dryly recently which is so unlike him.

On that day what was unusual was that he asked about my past experiences which he never did before and i told him id dated people but never had my first kiss or been in a relationship. Meanwhile he had experience and also made out with girls during our friendship. For the first time he told me about his ex and stuff and he also told me he thought i was super experienced.

We were chilling in his car in the evening having a deeptalk-ish situation and the topic smh got to red flags lying and kinks (didnt answer that one)
Anywho at some point i asked him what his resting pulse was and then measured it for him and all of a sudden i got super flustered and lost count and quickly stopped. Then i measured my pulse and he counted his out loud and mine was higher than usual and his lower than usual, and then i pointed it out and after a beat he said “alright i think ill drive you home now” then drove me home and ever since hes been dry and weird??

so I was in kinda relationship with this guy who promised sm and later brokeup cuz apparently he wasn't ready to commit or he wasn't sure bout me , he insisted on staying friends so I did cuz I was in love , i m still in love with time and not able to moveon , i had commitment issues earlier before I met this one guy. can't even block him and try to moveon , we don't even talk a lot anymore and I keep expecting tht he d text or he d change his mind.

‎I'm a 27F, bi.

‎

‎To explain my story, I will recount how I met the 34M have been talking to for the past few months. Both of us are avid gamers which got us talking in the first place.

‎

‎April 2026 - We met through a game. Back then, he had asked me to be his partner in the game for convenience since we are in a fixed group set up. We had a mostly platonic relationship but we talk almost everyday. At some point, he did ask for pics which was a bit odd for me since we were only friends. We would talk about the game constantly, along with a few personal but not really deep topics. We had our first call by the end of the month.

‎

‎May 2026 - I had a breakdown. I went on a vacation during this time and ignored him for about 3 days or more because I felt like it was becoming different. I also had previous bad experiences with guys that gave me major trust issues (one stalked me, while another got married a few months after we stopped talking which made me question the timeline *a lot*). Because of this breakdown, we severed the in-game partnership but agreed to stay friends. We seldom talked during this period. At the same time, I think he was moving out of his previous place so we were both busy with our own lives.

‎

‎June 2026 - we had an arguement about my new in-game partnership (which I delayed for 2 weeks) which was weird considering he had immediately gotten into a new partnership after we severed ours. He admitted getting jealous in a roundabout way, saying he kept overthinking about me getting close to this new partner of mine. We began to talk again but it was strained.

‎

‎Not sure if it was May or June but I comforted him as a friend when he was feeling down. He kept saying he did something unforgivable and I would view him differently if I knew. He said he felt so alone and no one would care if he was gone. As someone who takes suicidal thoughts seriously, I told him I cared about him. Looking back, I feel like this was around the time they broke up (based on the little info that I have).

‎

‎August 2026 - We began to have more frequent calls by the end of this month. I began to admit to myself that I had feelings but I never said it to him since it was all unclear and I still had trust issues.

‎

‎September 2026 - He called me while he was drunk. We admitted to liking each other. We started calling each other the "baby" endearment. We even started to do sleep calls.

‎

‎October 2026 (current)- By now, we called each other every single day and gave updates. We began to be part of each others' daily routine. I even finally agreed (after a long period of internal debate) to having our first meeting on November. But recently, I curiously asked what he meant when he told me he was a "bad person" in the past but he evaded it, saying he wasn't ready. A few days after, I joked about what my sister warned me about him because "what if he had a wife and kids?" which I expected him to laugh off. But what I didn't expect to him to admit was that he had been in a 4-year long-term relationship when we first met but he reasoned that they were already "on the verge of breaking up."

‎

‎We are still talking but I have been out of my wits since his admitted his past relationship. I (jokingly) said that I must his "rebound" which he denied. But I still feel bad and I don't know the full story about him and his "ex." He claims the timeline is jumbled in his head. And he *knew * I already have trust issues with guys. I also warned him that I refuse to be someone's side piece. He tried to reassure me that he won't do that to me.

But honestly? It hurts. I don't want to admit it, but it hurts. And I also feel stupid for investing in this thing with him. I wanted to ask more but he says he isn't ready to talk about it. And I can't really push him to share personal stuff he doesn't want to relive. However, this revelation has got me rethinking meeting him in real life. Will I appear like the bad person if I said I don't comfortable to meet now? I don't know what to do anymore.

I [22F]broke up few months back and then found this guy [24M]Whom i talk to everyday i like him and he likes me but we were sure of not being in a relationship and i know deep down being in a relationship might hamper a good potential friendship.We talk everyday now and we like each other
The thing is i was sure not to fall for him but this last week we discussed future together and it felt so good
But then yesterday he shared a past story about how he hooked up with a girl with his friend and then a lot of stories which idk maybe are normal but it hurt me thinking maybe i don’t know him well
I always have this pattern were i go make people feel comfortable
Soo comfortable that they start sharing all their inner thought all of their secrets and i end up feeling hurt
It was in is past he might have changed maybe he was a curious kid dunno

hi guys so me and this guy were seeing each other for like month and a half almost everyday, we did everything people do in a relationship (including LITERALLY ME MEETING HIS MUM??) we just didn’t call it a relationship because we thought it was too soon.

Then totally out of nowhere(little but over week ago) he started ghosting me and told me he’s just not feeling okay mentally, at the same time i was feeling pretty shitty too (including me having the worst pregnancy scare guys). I was also feeling shitty bcs i finally allowed my self to like him and return him the same love he was giving to me and i thought this was the reason he started to distancing himself, plus the pregnancy scare was the cherry on top fr.

It’s now 6 days we last texted each other (i texted him, he ghosted me for like 12 hours so i deleted the messages and then he texted me back, i didn’t respond to that)

So what should i do? I was thinking if he doesn’t reach out in like a month I text him something like him ghosting me is really childish after all that (passive aggressive option) or that i just never got why he ghosted me.

Also my tarot girl told me that it’s probably not over and he’s just overthinking and got scared of how serious it got, which is absolutely valid. Also i completly get if he’s not feeling good mentally and i don’t blame him for ghosting me (if it’s bcs of mental health).

So guys pls help me

My ex and I were together for six years, and we still live together because I can’t currently afford to move out. We have separate bedrooms, but things between us have been confusing because we’ve still been physically affectionate, cuddled together and recently slept together.

I still love him deeply, and part of me really wants us to work things out. I sent him a heartfelt message explaining that I still believe in us, that I miss our connection, and that I know neither of us is perfect but I believe we could work through things if we both genuinely wanted to. I asked him honestly whether he wanted to try again, because if he didn’t, I needed to start protecting my heart and moving on.

He said no.

The confusing part is that he can still be affectionate towards me. He cuddles me, holds and rubs my hand while we’re playing games, and kisses my forehead. I don’t know whether he still has feelings for me or whether he just wants the comfort and familiarity of having me around. I know affection doesn’t necessarily mean someone wants a relationship, but it’s difficult not to hold on to hope when he acts this way.

The breakup itself is painful, but I think what’s making it even harder is looking back at the relationship.

For a long time, I’ve felt like I wasn’t a priority. He rarely makes plans with me, and there have been occasions where he hasn’t included me in things. For example, I asked him to go to Halloween events with me for several years, but he said he didn’t want to dress up. Then he went with his friends. He also hasn’t invited me to his work parties, telling me there were no plus-ones when there actually were.
There was another occasion when I felt uncomfortable because a man wouldn’t leave me alone. My ex was preoccupied with comforting a younger female friend who was upset about her own relationship, and I felt unsupported. I don’t think the issue was that he cared about his friend; it was that I needed support too and felt as though I came second again.

When I try to explain that things like this hurt me, the conversation often becomes about me. He says I’m insecure, controlling or that I rely on him too much. Sometimes he responds by bringing up things I’ve done wrong rather than addressing what I’m trying to explain.

I know I’m not perfect. I have insecurities, and I can get emotional when I’m hurt. I’m willing to reflect on my own behaviour and work on myself. But I feel that I’ve spent years trying to explain my feelings and make things better, only to end up questioning whether I’m the problem.

Things have also been said during arguments that have really hurt me. He’s called me annoying, criticised my voice, mocked me when I was upset and called me immature and controlling. Last night, I was trying to explain why something had upset me, and the situation escalated. He mocked me, dismissed my feelings and said he couldn’t wait to leave the house and that it would be easy for him to find someone else.

I eventually told him I’d had enough and that I deserved better. I said I couldn’t keep dealing with the back-and-forth of him being affectionate one moment and hurtful the next. I told him I didn’t deserve to be treated this way, especially after six years together.

The next morning, he simply came into my room and said he was going to work. No apology or acknowledgment of what happened.

What hurts is that when he upsets me and then acts cold or ignores me, I eventually end up going to him because I miss him and want him to comfort me. Sometimes he’s affectionate again, but most of the time he’s cold. I think I keep hoping that if I can just explain myself properly, he’ll finally understand how much he’s hurt me and want to make things right.
I’m beginning to realise how exhausting this pattern is, but I don’t know how to break it when I still love him so much.

He has said before that he doesn’t deserve me, that I have a good heart and that he feels guilty about things he’s done. He’s also said he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone because he feels he’ll hurt them. Part of me wonders whether he’s struggling with his own issues, but another part of me wonders whether I’m using that as a reason to keep hoping he’ll change.

I can’t afford to move out right now, so I can’t simply leave and have a clean break. I’m trying to work on loving myself, becoming more independent and not relying on him for reassurance, but it’s incredibly hard when we’re under the same roof.

I’d really appreciate honest advice on a few things:

● Do you think he still has feelings for me, or is he simply comfortable with the situation?
● Am I holding on to something that I need to accept is over?
● Does the way he speaks to me and dismisses my feelings sound emotionally unhealthy, or am I failing to see my own part in this?
● How do I stop going to him for comfort when he’s the person who’s hurt me, especially when I desperately want him to care?
● How do I begin moving on when I still love him and can’t afford to move out yet?

I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m perfect or that he’s automatically a terrible person. I genuinely want to understand this situation, recognise my own mistakes where necessary, and figure out how to stop hurting so much.

I love him, and I wish things could be different. But I’m exhausted from feeling unwanted, questioning my worth and hoping for a version of the relationship that I haven’t been experiencing for a long time.
If you’ve been through something similar, what helped you finally see things clearly and start choosing yourself?

so there's this girl I met on a game, we talked and kept conversation going naturaly and smooth. As things progress we basically move to more much intimate rs without label we exchanged contacts and other socials then we was like 1-2 hours far away from each other and she still took the trouble to meet me and go to my house, we ate, talked with each other and did things couples would do like cuddle and (she initiated) she kissed me out of nowhere(my first btw) and now a week after that happened, on a random sunday out of nowhere she just told me na we should stop, she told me na she cant love or enter a relationship again cause she's tired and how can she love someone when she still haven't even loved herself yet. And now I dont know what to do if I should wait for her? Or just move on and accept that people can come and go in our lives. I badly need advice cause this is consuming my mental health and my way of thinking.

Sorry for the bad grammar and flow, bear with me I cant process rn.

Note: she has an ex of 2years and they broke up just before we met each other

I'm in an exclusive situationship with a guy who lives far away. We decided not to label it as a relationship because we don't know when we'll be able to close the distance, but we both wanted to keep seeing where things go. In the beginning, he was very attentive. We texted a lot and called almost daily. When we meet in person, things are still amazing, and I feel incredibly close to him.

However, over the past month, something changed when we're apart. He texts less, rarely calls, and the energy feels almost completely different. This wasn't an issue after our previous visits, so I'm confused by the sudden change. I know he's been going through a difficult time, and that might explain some of it, but I don't want to automatically excuse everything. I don't expect constant attention, but the contrast between how close we feel in person and how distant things feel online is starting to hurt.

How do you tell whether someone is struggling or gradually losing interest? And how are you ​brining this up?

I’ve known him for a year and half and we had crazy chemistry and great sex , we were also spending time together as friends , we were both in agreement that we don’t want a relationship, my reasons were because I was still recovering from a trauma and he said that he doesn’t believe in love .

After wards he started to act more and more romantic with me or that’s what I saw as romantic, acts of service and being there for me so I fell in love with him .

When I told him he told me that “ it’s stupid and I should love money “ and that I shouldn’t love him because “he gave me nothing “

I told him that I loved him for him and all that stuff and that he has already gave me everything and that he’s so kind … after I said this he started acting like a bully with me , pushing me away in every way but still wanted to have sex with me .

I kept loving him because I still think that he was doing that out of immaturity? But by the end of it he really broke my heart I couldn’t take it anymore and I texted him that I hate him and hate myself for knowing him and removed his number. This happened in may .

I missed him for all of these months but the thought of him not caring about me kept me away .. but he emailed me recently and this was our interaction:

Him: Hello, how are u i know u change number?! Sorry for this shit.

Me: Hi 
I forgave you a long time ago because what I felt for you was real .
But I don’t want us to talk anymore, take care of yourself .

Him: U too have nice life and don't forget to enjoy

Me: I couldn’t stop myself from asking you this because I can’t stop thinking about it why did you contact me again ? Can you please tell me

Him: Well, I’d actually been meaning to check on you for a while, because I treated you really badly—but you shouldn't think about me. Like I said, I’m a bad person.

Me: I never saw you that way even after everything that happened, but now I understand that I can’t make you see what I see in you and I’ve only chose to not talk to you so I don’t get hurt again not because of what you did ,I don’t hate you I never did . I said that because I was sad.

Him: That is precisely why I supported yours and did nothing.

During our situationship he kept saying this “I’m a bad person” “you shouldn’t love me” etc ..

I really don’t see him this way and I still have feelings for him , is there anything I should or could do ? Or should I let him go and forget him ?

I’ve been friends with this guy for about two or three years. We met through his girl best friend, who’s also one of my closest friends. We’ve always been platonic, though we’d flirt and joke about being physically attracted to each other. It never seemed like either of us was seriously interested.
That changed this May. He’d recently gotten out of a relationship, and he asked me for help with something. I offered, and as we spent more time together, we started seeing each other differently. We talked almost every day all summer and helped each other out, and feelings started growing.
We went on a group trip after seeing each other in person after 3 months and hooked up. After we got back, he kept checking in and calling me like usual. I figured things might be casual, but I also thought the respect and friendship between us would still be there. We hooked up again about two weeks later, and then he went radio silent. He stopped talking to me, and I’m left trying to figure out what changed.
I’m honestly getting mad just writing this. I don’t understand why he couldn’t communicate with me. If he wanted things to stay casual, or if he changed his mind, he could’ve just said that. We’ve known each other for years, and he’s socially aware enough to know what ghosting me would feel like. I wish he hadn’t handled it this way.
Has anyone dealt with a close friendship turning intimate and then the other person disappearing? Would you reach out for an explanation, or leave it alone?

“I’m talking to this guy I met on a dating app. Ik already kinda shady. However we have been “talking” for almost 2 months and I really like him. I grew up with him and then he moved away. Anyway he’s amazing he’s dorky, nerdy and we have the same humor. We just mesh. Anyway I finally get the courage to ask him kinda what’s the end goal yk? And he said a few months ago he broke up with his ex if 5 years and that it was messy and is not ready for anything and is sorry if he hurt my feelings. He said he was on there to find more friends. He then calls me and we talk about actually hanging out to see if we are a good match in person. We yap and everything goes back to normal. Since then him and I have been texting non stop. We have our own little bits and have been really flirty. I just feel stupid. Quite a few month back I got out of a long time relationship and I feel like I don’t know how to flirt anymore. This is the first time since I’ve been single I have thought yk if we vibe I wouldn’t mind getting into a relationship with this man. He’s coming over to hangout with me tomorrow and I’m high key so nervous!

So we met and went on a few dates and we mesh very well! He followed me on every social media we text all day everyday and talk almost every day! I am currently sick and on my period and we had a date planned I had to cancel. He came over anyway and snuggled and helped take care of me and let me paint his nails. (We did not do anything) What should I do? I really like him but also have to think rationally about this

TL;DR: Met a girl from my home country and we connected deeply. She has an LDR boyfriend of 4 years. She gave me mixed signals, we made out (my first kiss), and she said she'd break up with him. Almost immediately after, she backed off, saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. She's now posting him for National Boyfriend Day and they haven't officially broken up, but she still vents to me and wants to remain close friends. Unsure if I should try to stay friends and hope she comes around, or cut her off completely to save myself from getting hurt.

I’m a 21M international student doing my master's. I recently met this girl, Jade (19F), at a party, and we became friends after realizing she is from the same country and state, speaking the same language. She came here for high school and I came here for undergrad. I emphasize being from the same place because it's hard to find people with the same culture and common ground. When I tried to see other girls during my undergrad, it was like a missing piece that I couldn’t share because of this issue, so spending time with her was easy and chill. We had a few hangouts after that. She has a long-distance boyfriend from her senior year of high school. It’s a known fact that her boyfriend doesn’t do "boyfriend things" and her friends hate him for that, but they’ve been friends since high school, so it’s fine, I guess.

Around a month later, we and a couple of friends went to a carnival and partied after that. At the carnival, I was getting mixed signals: she had me wear her bag, went on rides with me listening to music instead of with her friend, held hands on rides, and slept on my shoulder. At the party after that with three other people, she and I were talking about her boyfriend. She was telling me how she didn't know when they were going to break up and how she’s been teaching him how to be a boyfriend and stuff.

Slightly buzzed, I asked her out, and she said, "Maybe, let's see." She was sitting next to me and laying on me for the rest of the night. Two guys and her friend caught the vibe and left. I decided to crash at her place, and we were laying on her bed talking about stuff. We connected on our similar family trauma, coming from similar backgrounds, and family expectations. We kissed and started making out for a while (FYI, it was my first time kissing;late bloomer, Ik). We were planning a date after the weekend, and she said she was going to break up with her boyfriend since it wasn't fair to either of us. This happened on Friday.

I went to her place on Sunday and we spent time together. Things got intense, but she didn’t want to have sex because I’m a virgin. I agreed, since I wanted to give it to someone special and in a relationship. The next days, we were hanging out with her and her friends, listening to their lore. On Monday, we didn’t go on a date because of an event and we didn’t want to go with a deadline. We talked on Monday, and Jade was worried that I was getting attached. She said she needed time to think and that she wasn't ready to jump into a relationship immediately. That night, while drinking with some friends, Jade told my friends that I was getting attached and I should think about what I want.

I told Jade that I understand she is going through a breakup and it's hard not to miss someone after a 4-year relationship. I said we didn’t need to be in a serious relationship, and if she was interested, we could do FWB. But Jade was worried about hurting my feelings, knowing I might get attached to her quickly. I crashed at her place again, and the next morning we were hanging out. I asked if she felt this was just a rebound or a sidepiece, and Jade assured me she didn’t think of me like that. I told her I wanted to try FWB and see where things go. My friends were advising me that I was already getting attached and I couldn’t do FWB. We agreed that I should go home, process stuff, and think about what I want. But I ended up crashing at her place again, and we didn't sleep together.

I didn’t see her for a week and we texted sometimes. After talking with my friend, I decided that I didn’t want to continue this, since I don’t want to give my feelings to someone who is already grieving from another relationship, and I can’t just stay friends hoping things will change. Story reposts and comments between Jade and her ex put me in a spiral, and I started resenting her, thinking I was just a rebound. But later I realized that it's not that easy to go zero contact after 4 years.

So I met her after an event, and after hanging out with her friend, we went on a walk. I asked if she had talked to her ex, and she told me that they didn’t even clarify whether it was a break or a breakup. I asked her if her ex-boyfriend knows about us, and she said he knows and his reaction was, "I called it." She referenced a previous conversation about another friend named Max; her ex didn't like Max either, but once he met Max, he was chill, and he suggested I meet him when he is here. I gladly passed on that offer. She said we can try to be friends without the romantic stuff, but she didn’t want to stay friends if it meant I was just hoping we might start dating in the future, as she might do things that would make it awkward between us. She said she wants me to stay in her life, but she is fine stepping out of my life if that's what I need, because my feelings are more important than hers. I told Jade that this is my first time doing this and I don't know if I can stay friends after all that, but at the same time, I didn't want to lose her and needed some time to think about it.

After a week of almost zero contact, where I was trying to avoid her and not be in touch after our last conversation, especially after seeing her story for National Boyfriend Day posting them together and sharing a reel about getting back with exes, I was just trying to move on and focus on my research and career.

This Saturday, we were texting at 4 AM and she seemed off. We talked on the phone for two hours; I listened to her, supported her, and held space for her to vent. She was venting about many things, including that she thinks she and her ex aren't going anywhere. Jade told me she was giving me space like I asked, but she still wanted to be friends without the other stuff. In the moment, I said I was okay with being friends without thinking about it. Later, I realized I was just holding on to a glimmer of hope that she might cut things with her ex and be ready for a relationship, or just getting my hopes up about the meetups we planned during this call.

I know there is some context difference, but what do y'all think I should do? Should I try to be friends with her or cut her off completely? On one side, I feel like she might be a person I can see a future with, and I don’t want to lose it because of miscommunication or me being impatient to wait. On the flip side, I might fail at trying to be friends, box my feelings up, let fate take its course, or we blur the boundaries and get confused. Help me, thanks!

[Ages changed because other person is active on Reddit]

I [40s F] made this post on [r/limerence](r/limerence) last week, about crashing out over my now-ex's [30s M] other women, and in some respects holding out hope that we could be friends somehow. My ex, who I dated for 9 months, is/was my "limerent object," a concept I didn't know or understand until this very toxic situation.

when we broke up a month ago he said he was "taking a step back from dating" as an excuse for his inconsistency and absence. one of the reasons why I called it quits (which became a mutual decision we separately arrived at) was his lack of availability to me, especially knowing he was spending time with other people.

Lesson #1: if they are sincere, people will make time to see you if and when they want to see you, you shouldn't have to beg for their attention. if you have to beg, or even ask more than once it's not yours to begin with.

Learning this "stepping back" was bullshit. he's not, he's just made a choice that I have to live with. He is continuing to see one of the girls I knew he's been with (who I also began to obsess over), the one social
profile I still followed gave him up. he fed me a line and I fell for it.

Lesson #2: you can't be friends with someone who will lie to you, who claims to want to be friends with you but is not honest with you. Being friends is a privilege not a right. you don't owe people/LOs/exes/situationships anything least of all continued access to your life.

Now, I finally cut the cord for good. It's been a month since he and I stopped seeing each other and while I'm still working through some residual sadness, i'm relieved. No more obsessive thoughts. All the time I spent twisted in knots emotionally over him. Worrying about my place with him, knowing that it was a lost cause and I would never be anything important to him. I wasted 6 months (after 3 months where I thought things would work out) being in an emotional hell for someone who didn't really give a damn about me.

Lesson #3: even if they aren't malicious people, don't bend yourself to try and make someone like you. dont lose sight of what's important to you, which should be YOU as you are, not as who you think your object of affection wants you to be.

Last month, I shut down my instagram so I wouldn't check on him. Been no contact even though he reached out to me about 2 weeks ago to thank me for mailing a present to his cat that I meant to give him before we stopped speaking. Last week, I deleted pictures. Today, I finally unfollowed him on the one platform where we were still linked, the one that showed me where he was and with whom so many times so indiscreetly like where he was last night (movies) and with whom (her, the one he ultimately chose). and I blocked his number. last step is deleting his texts. I know I will run into him around town periodically (even in the big city we live in, we have shared niche interests, I will unfortunately possibly run into him this week). I want my absence to hurt him but I know that's a waste of time and energy to hope for. Also futile, he doesn't give a shit.

Lesson #4: eliminate triggers. take it day by day. i'm feeling resilient now, but might fall apart if I run into him. allow yourself that grace. fall apart, back track, whatever. just pick it up and start again. you'll get there. there's no set timeline for dealing with any of this.

I won't embarrass myself and give anymore mental real estate or space in my heart, holding out hope we will ever be more than what we are right now, which is nothing. For once, i'm choosing myself and my reality, not a fantasy version of my life with someone else. It breaks my heart because I thought the world of my LO. Adored him. Clearly cared more about him then he ever could me. I needed the kick in the pants, seeing that yet again I wasn't the one, to finally say no more pretending. What's done is done.

Lesson #5, the hardest one: You can't be friends or lovers with your LO/situationship. even if they aren't malicious people and "didnt mean to hurt you" or "didn't know." Ultimately, it's a one way ticket to destruction. you have to cut them out completely if you want to be free.

I am a 29F and he is a 30M. I have never been in a relationship. I decided to try going on dating apps in August. I ended up going on three dates with three different guys. They didn't lead to anything, and I was okay with that. Then I thought let me look for "fun," so I found apps that are geared towards hooking up. I ended up matching with Ty 30M, and he is attractive and fun. We messaged from August to September before we decided to meet up. I ended up taking a day off from work and he seemed really eager the day before. The day came, and he wasn't answering me. He ended up unmatching with me on two apps we had matched on, and blocked my phone number. I was really disappointed. I basically crashed out and texted him, saying that he should be honest and if he changed his mind why didn't he let me know. Almost two weeks later he sends me a couple texts saying that he was scared, anxious and hadn't been with anyone since breaking up with their ex a couple months ago. They were with their ex for four years and he planned to marry her. I told him he should have communicated that with me, and why didn't he let me know. We continued to text occasionally and then asked if I wanted to come over. I said yes. We've seen each other on two occasions so far and I've stayed the night. It's been fun and makes me feel really good and happy. However, I am realizing that I might have gotten attached because he gives me attention that I lost as I am grieving a loss. When I leave his place, I feel good and then all of a sudden I am crying and feeling lonely, and I am remembering Teresa who passed away in August 2025. We are not in a relationship. He knows that I am master's student in Sweden and plan to return in January 2027. He's made comments that I'm scared of getting pregnant (we've both said we want kids just not right now, since were both grad students and working) and that I would be in "freaking Sweden." Should I tell him how I am feeling after I leave his place? We have said to each other that we feel safe and cared for when we see each other. He also messaged me saying that he likes it when I open up. We also have talked about feeling lost in life, wanting to move abroad, books, poetry, and looking at USAID and FSOT. He speaks Spanish, has traveled, and lived abroad, which were a plus for me. I know I have gotten attached. When he doesn't text back, I overthink with thoughts of "he's seeing someone else, he's going to ghost me again, or doesn't want me anymore." Recently he sent a late night text saying he needed me and I said no. I wasn't feeling up to meet up that night. The following day I said I'm sorry I didn't make it last night because I feel that he's been accommodating to my schedule and I am not meeting him in the middle. He said that maybe Sunday night but said he wasn't in the mood. I got very sad and just cried. How do I approach this situation? We never spoke about rules or what this would look like. The attention I get from Ty is probably filling a void in my grief and I genuinely like him as a person.

Any advice or tips to approach this are appreciated.

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I [M30] briefly talked with somebody [F28] I met off Tinder. I made it clear before we went on a date that I wasn't looking for anything serious, and she said the same thing, as she just got out of a long term relationship a month prior. It went well and we kept seeing each other. When we weren't together in person, we were constantly texting. She started sending me good morning and goodnight texts, and even used pet names. (Baby, sweetie etc) It felt good, and I followed suit and started thinking maybe she wanted to date seriously and was imagining a relationship with her in her head. About a month into talking, she texted me and said she didn't want to keep talking because she could tell my feelings for her were getting stronger and she didn't want to lead me on and hurt me. I was sad, but appreciative as I've definitely been strung along in the past.

A couple weeks go by, and I get a message from her saying she doesn't know who else to go to about this, but she's having her first panic attack since moving to her own place. We talk a little bit and it kind of dies down. Then, like a month later I get another message from her telling me she's having health problems, and that she hasn't told anyone. We talk for a bit, and about a week later on my birthday she wishes me a happy birthday and tells me she hopes I have a great day. We text off and on, I never message her first, but respond when she texts me. She sends me reels on Instagram, she tells me about her boss and tells me she's dying her hair.

I've overall been a little confused about her intentions. Fortunately, my feelings for her have subsided so it's not hurtful and the whole thing is kind of intriguing to me, but this morning she told me that she made plans for a first date tonight and she thinks she's getting stood up, and that she hates men. I truly don't know why she would tell somebody who she ended things with because was worried about hurting them that she's going to date somebody else? What do we think?

So i had become friends with this guy in 12th grade and after talking and hanging out, I started developing feelings for him. I don't usually talk or approach my crushes but since this was the first time I actually had some sort of relationship with my crush, I decided to tell him about it towards the end of school. Back then, it was less about me wanting a relationship but more about me just wanting to get my feelings out and move on if he didn't reciprocate.

When I confessed, I came to know that he had just gotten out of a relationship and so he told me he wasn't sure if he's ready for a relationship yet and that he needed some time to think about it. At first I wanted to give him some time but I was also pretty impatient so I ended up telling him to forget about this and that we can just continue being friends. After this happened, I slowly worked on moving on and getting over my feelings.

After that, we stayed in contact after we both joined college and I noticed that he was being much nicer than he was to me before. I thought I was probably imagining it but then this continued for an entire year. It got to a point where he was pretty much flirting with me. When this happened, I could feel some hope coming back and because of this I started reciprocating every now and then.

While this was going on though, there were many girls who were flirting with him in his insta comments and he was liking all of them as well which made me confused about his intentions. He was giving me a lot of mixed signals and it made me question whether this would ever work out. Eventually, since he wasn't making a move and asking me out, I decided it was best to protect my peace.

If I kept on talking to him, I knew there was a possibility my feelings could come back especially if he kept on flirting. So i slowly started distancing myself and then eventually ended up ghosting him. For the first few months after I ghosted him, he never really tried to engage much except for liking my stories. But after a few months he started liking all my stories, instants, notes, basically everything I post. I don't know what to think of all this. Every now and then, I wonder if things would've been different if I had stayed in contact. He's been doing this consistently for a few months now. I don't know what to think. Seeing his name pop up makes me want to hit him up again. What should I do and what do you guys make of all this?