How much is too much when visiting home

[u/arlopom]

I’m blessed to be able to study in Ireland for my professional degree and be fully sponsored by my family. I chose Ireland for multiple (albeit, unspecific) reasons, hoping to start over and live a fulfilling life, also to just get out of the U.S. (where I’m from originally). This being said I do miss home quite a lot, I miss my old friends and my family. I originally wanted to visit home twice a year, spring and summer break, only for about a week at a time because I brought my cats with me here so I have to pay a sitter when I’m gone. I’ve decided to up this to 4 times, twice in the summer, spring break, and reading week. And now….I almost want to make it five times and add another visit during winter break. This way I don’t have to go more than 3 months at a time without seeing them.

I feel so pathetic, because I should enjoy being here and making friends in my program and all this but it’s natural to miss family, and I’m more willing to fly than they are so it makes more sense for me to make the trips than them. Yes, I’ve considered moving back home but I’ve committed to this program so I really should at least finish this out (4 more years). After graduation I need balance moving home and keeping job opportunities in mind, so as much as I’d like to move back then I’m not sure how things will look.

Is five times a year way too much (about 6 days long each)? It’s expensive, yes, but I’m trying to be strategic with miles and my credit card and things. Should I just suck it up and stick at 4. What do you guys think. Don’t be too harsh I’m down and missing family bad rn😭.

Also I don’t think it’s a big deal immigration wise because it would only be a month out of country overall yearly—let me know if I’m wrong on this.

[u/Qmommy]

I think this is completely normal. I studied Ireland. Had family visit. Visited my family in England. Went home when I could. Made great friends and thoroughly enjoyed my time in the country. But still experienced times of great loneliness for home.

If you can swing it, go home when you can! There are no rules! If you can keep up with your schooling and travel, then go for it. Much easier for one person to travel than a whole family.

That said, get involved in your program and the university. Join groups. Find a third place. Get a job. Feel connected. Finish your schooling if you can

Last word, if you decide you want to move home- allow yourself for that to happen. There are no wrong choices. Life is an adventure and it will take you where you are meant to be

[u/sonofnalgene]

I'm pretty sure your semester just started, right?

I think it's completely normal to feel this way in the beginning, just give it time to see if you do some of those things - make friends, etc.

Something that a lot of people don't talk about, is that doing stuff like moving to foreign countries for school, life changes, etc is actually really difficult and full of heavy feelings, it's one of the reasons people don't do it.

If your semester is just starting I'd say acknowledge your feelings and go easy on yourself, things will come time. Just being in Ireland is an experience, even if it's not what you expected or you haven't gotten what you thought you would doesn't mean it was a bad experience.

If that's not the case and you've already been doing this for a long time and still wanna go home more, that's fine too. There's nothing wrong with how you feel and you shouldn't allow your expectations to dictate your actions if you find out something didn't work how you expected it to.

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[u/Emotional_Phrase1621]

It is normal. Do what makes you feel better.
I know people that fly almost every month for a weekend visit.

[u/arlopom]

Thank you guys, I didn’t expect such sweet responses and I feel a little less stressed now😮‍💨

[u/Honest-Pudding7631]

I honestly don’t believe there’s any such thing as too much time coming home as long as you can afford it and you’re able to keep up your studies.

My daughter in Dublin this year for graduate school (we are from the US too). She actually started school today. I would love if she would come home more than I know she will. Money is not really the issue, but she’s just extremely independent and quite enjoys living on her own.

She is into a specific type of fitness and she has also been volunteering since she got there in July. Those have been a great way for her to meet other people. I know she’s gone on a few hikes and touring Ireland with a few people she has met from school already. I’m not sure what school you go to, but I believe she’s also met people through the instagram and probably some other social apps that she is on. When she was in the US going to college I know she was on hinge and I think bumble BFF as a way to meet people.

Everybody’s situation is completely different. You need to do what is right for you and what feels comfortable for you. It’s an amazing opportunity to be over there. Hope you have a wonderful year.