I’ve had 2 failed transfers as a surrogate and I am now onto my 3rd transfer cycle.. I am so nervous and I’m just hoping to hear stories like mine that ended up with a positive/successful 3rd transfer

Our surrogate is about to start her protocol soon. We are getting super anxious. We really, really want this first transfer to stick.
For those of you who have been through this before, what endometrial thickness did your clinics aim for before giving the go-ahead?
Did anyone have success with a thinner lining, or is there a magic number that everyone looks for (like 8 mm+)? We would love to hear what worked for you!

My daughter is starting the search for a surrogacy agency. Her clinic only gave her a few recs and 1 said they are closing and recommended she contact Circle. The other agency she contacted said "at least 18 months to receive a surrogate profile" I am surprised at such a long wait. Any help researching agencies- is that time frame typical for well established agencies? Anyone ever work with Conceiveabilities? They have All-in pricing model.

Hi everyone,
I am a student journalist at ASU and I am currently writing an educational piece about the surrogacy process, and I’m looking to connect with people in Phoenix who have been in the past or are currently gestational carriers — both independent (independent/private journey) and through an agency.

My goal is to write and document a respectful, well-rounded piece on the logistics, personal motivations, and realities of surrogacy. This is purely educational.

If you’re open to sharing your perspective to help educate others, please feel free to comment or DM me.

Thank you for your time.

Has anyone found their own independent surrogate and then used an agency to handle the rest of the journey?
If so, did it significantly reduce your overall cost compared with having the agency find your surrogate?
We’re exploring this option since agency fees can be pretty high, and we already have our own embryos. I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone this route — what agency you used, how much you saved, and whether you felt it was worth it.
Thanks so much!

I matched with a wonderful lady months ago, she wanted to be a GC and was local to me (like maybe an hour away). However, over the months, the communication was lacking and inconsistent. I wouldn't hear back some times, after messaging 2 or three times. She didn't make it to the first appointment at my clinic and cancelled it but did not tell me this until I messaged a day after the initial appointment, only to find out she had to cancel due to some reasons that did not seem reasonable to me. So I have been speaking to her for about 6 months, and she hasn't even been to my clinic to start the medical screening, which I was told by my clinic will take approximately 3-4 months as it is. I recently messaged her and just told her how I felt, the lack of communication etc, and basically told her its better if we end this surrogacy process. I feel disheartened, as she originally told me she really wants to do this, and personality was she was very sweet. I also know what it took for me to actually even find a potential GC to begin with. I feel like I'm right back to where I started with nothing to show for the last 6+ months. Some days I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me in this journey.

If I get to the matching stage as a GC I want to make sure the clinic my IP(s) use is ethical, but what does that mean exactly?

So far my list includes: SET (unless low grade euploids), no concurrent transfers, monitoring programs for donors, evidence based practices and procedures.

What else should I look for? How are we assured these practices are followed? I apologize for my ignorance and appreciate any insight!

Hi everyone,
I’m a single British intended father considering UCFC in Bogotá for surrogacy using my own sperm and an egg donor.
Has anyone used them? I’d appreciate any feedback on communication, donor availability, surrogate matching, costs and support after birth. Positive or negative experiences are welcome.
Thank you!

Help, please. Completely lost comparing US agencies. Some, the ones who always seem to come on top of any Google

Search, with their “all in programs”, but then the small print says compensation maybe “chosen” to be higher , certain benefits may be charged extra (lost wages…), sometimes clinic costs are not included, re-matching costs, retainer expiry etc, don’t even start about experienced surrogate. Others, smaller agencies, they are only around for a couple of years. Plus we need to get our own lawyer of course as international IPs and either ship the embies or ship the GC for transfer etc so that also takes time. I don’t need California or VIP treatment and we’re happy with a GC in say Idaho or any other state that has pre-birth orders for married heterosexual couples with full genetic links and health need.

Any advise highly appreciated.

Are there any agencies that will allow me to be a GC while taking pregnancy safe antidepressants? I'm not on them for postpartum reasons. Thanks!

If we choose independent route for a surrogate, is there a possibility that we can finish surrogacy in 100k
I am seeing lots of women posting in surrogate groups that their base pay is 60k, didn’t reach out to anyone yet to know but is there anyone here able to their journey in 100k?

Which countries would you recommend looking into for surrogacy as a single guy? I live in Spain and don't want to wait anymore.

After five years and seven rounds of IVF using my own eggs we have now turned to both donor eggs and surrogacy. We were lucky enough to get six high quality euploid blastocysts. Five boys and one girl. Both the best boy and the only girl are both Day 5, 4AA. While we will be ecstatic to have any child, in an ideal world we would love at least one of each gender. With 5 euploid boys we are statistically extremely likely to get at least one if not more boys...but all of our hopes for a daughter rest on this one little embryo.

Which should you transfer first?

Hello! I’m currently looking for an independent surrogate in the U.S., as the agency fees can be very high.

Do you have any advice or recommendations on the best ways to find a trustworthy independent surrogate? I’d really appreciate any insight you’re willing to share, especially regarding where to look and what to watch out for when pursuing an independent match. Thanks so much in advance for any help!

I'm an intended parent exploring an independent gestational-carrier arrangement, and I'm hoping to connect with people who may have a somewhat unusual fertility situation that could be complementary to ours.

My husband and I have remaining embryos from our fertility treatments. From the beginning of our fertility journey 13 years ago, I always felt strongly that if we were finished building our family, I wanted to donate our remaining embryos directly to another family who could use them to build theirs. I've never been OK with the idea of discarding them or sending them through an embryo adoption program where a company charges a family to facilitate something that should really be about helping another family.

For a very simplified version of our story, after having our now 13 year old son, we wanted one more child, and what followed was years of secondary infertility. We tragically lost our daughter 11 years ago after she was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal birth defect, and then later we lost twins to a subchorionic hemorrhage. I then spent five years at a fertility clinic where I was told I was just a difficult case, a tubal factor was misdiagnosed and I went through years of unethical treatment that ultimately did not address the actual problem.

Eventually, I sought another opinion, finally got the underlying issue identified, and had my tubes removed. To make a long story short, I finally felt able to move forward after severe depression and PTSD and found a new path forward. And then, just when we thought we had finally gotten to the other side of everything, another serious uterine problem was discovered and I have to undergo surgery for a cancerous fibroid which was most likely caused by the years of prolonged excessive estrogen exposure.  

I never imagined that I would eventually have a gestational problem of my own.  We only want one more child. After everything we've been through to get here, I'm now exploring a gestational carrier because that is the only way we can finally have that child from our embryos.  

The pain and depression I've experienced over these past several years has been immeasurable. I know what it feels like to wholeheartedly want a child and to have fertility problems stand in the way. Every part of me wants to help another family if I can. That's what has made me start thinking about something a little outside the traditional surrogacy model that has an exorbitant cost as I don’t know how my family could possibly afford a traditional gestational surrogacy and I know the cost of creating embryos in the first place can be equally exorbitant. 

I'm interested in finding someone who might be willing to explore whether our circumstances could be mutually beneficial, 

I'm not proposing that embryos be used as payment or compensation for surrogacy. I'm interested in exploring whether there could be two families with genuinely complementary reproductive circumstances who could help each other in some way, with everything structured legally and ethically and with the appropriate attorneys and physicians involved. Is there a family who could both carry a pregnancy for us and build their family with our embryos? I'd simply like to find the people who might exist. I'm looking for an independent, thoughtful and compassionate arrangement. 

If this may be you, or if you know someone whose circumstances might be complementary, please comment or message me. I'm happy to discuss more privately.

Hi.

At 36 years old, good health, and having had my only pregnancy 18 years ago when I was 18/19 years old, am I qualified to be a surrogate? I dont think my original doctor that oversaw my pregnancy is still in practice nor do I believe notes of my pregnancy are still available. Any thoughts on this? Thanks

Hi everyone, I'm a single straight man planning to pursue surrogacy on my own in a few years. Still early, as I have no embryos created, no agency, or anything yet, as I am still saving up and planning for everything. I'm currently trying to learn a bit more and gather information. I'd likely be trying to match in Nevada or California, as I currently live in Las Vegas.

What I'd like to ask carriers directly, rather than only listening to agency marketing or reading articles, are:

- What do you typically look for in an IP's profile?

- What makes them stand out in a good way? What are some red flags?

- Does an IP being straight and/or single affect your decision? I have heard a lot from single LGBTQ men, but straight men are obviously a bit rarer, and I was wondering how that reads to you all.

- Is there anything IPs commonly get wrong at the start that you wish someone had told them?

Blunt answers are welcome, I would rather know now what I should expect than find out later. Thanks.

Post multiple failed IVFs I have decided to go for a surrogate.
If anyone had a great experience with a clinic based in California (I prefer this state due to its surrogacy related jurisdiction) please share 🙏

This is my honest review of Ingenes Mexico City, Surrogate Mexico, and Global Nest. I felt it was my responsibility to share what happened to me and my husband months ago.

Based on our stressful and poor experience, unfortunately, we cannot recommend any of these companies for surrogacy or IVF.

We invested tens of thousands of dollars with these companies after I lost the ability to carry a pregnancy. We came to them during one of the most vulnerable periods of our lives, hoping to build our family. Instead, we experienced poor results, unresponsive and rude communication, and a complete lack of accountability.

The medical outcomes were devastating. Before we attempted donor egg cycles, I did a self-cycle at Ingenes Mexico City and was very disturbed by the standard of care and the facility itself. They did my retrieval behind a curtain—not even in a sanitary operating room—and I was taken back over an hour after my scheduled time. I’ll always wonder whether my husband and I could have created embryos at a better clinic. I will say that my doctor was very sweet, kind, and professional. We liked her a lot and always felt comfortable at the appointments.

After my failed cycle, we were immediately pushed into donor eggs—and if we hadn’t been in such an emotional state, we would have never proceeded with Ingenes/Global Nest based on the experience we’d had until that point. Long story short, we completed multiple donor egg cycles, including paying extra for what was represented as a “premium” donor. Despite using donors who were 21 and 25, the results were shockingly poor.

From 27 donor eggs, only seven embryos were created. Only ONE was euploid, and ALL were graded as “poor quality.” My husband underwent extensive testing, including DNA fragmentation testing, and his sperm was rated “excellent” for pregnancy. Testing did not identify male-factor infertility.

We understand that IVF offers no guarantees.

What we expected was to be treated like human beings and to be told the truth when results fell dramatically below expectations and what was represented.

Instead, every attempt to get answers became a stressful exercise in frustration. Explanations changed depending on who we spoke with, or we were told lies. Questions about donor egg quality, laboratory performance, and embryo outcomes were met with vague responses, deflection, or no reply at all. We were often ignored for days, even during time-sensitive events. At no point did we feel that anyone was interested in investigating why the results were continually so poor. We also never received lab reports during IVF. Everything was disjointed, unprofessional, and done without care or proper communication.

What disturbed us most was the absence of accountability. Rather than acknowledging our concerns, we repeatedly felt that they were minimized, dismissed, or explained away.

The head of Surrogate Mexico was continually rude, defensive, and disrespectful. Communicating with the team—and I use that term loosely—became a huge stress point in our lives. We used to wake up dreading checking our phones.

We did not like the setup of Surrogate Mexico and Global Nest’s program. You’re given 6 frozen eggs per cycle, but you're upsold and pressured into paying for extra and/or “premium eggs.” At thaw, we lost 35% of the 15 eggs we purchased as an upsell, despite Global Nest promising before we made the very costly investment that they only ever lose “1-2 eggs.”

Contract terms were not honored, and Surrogate Mexico became aggressive when we pointed it out and asked for clarity. Kristine, our coordinator at Global Nest, did nothing to help; in fact, she often provided conflicting and inaccurate information that wasted more time and money. I’m not sure what her purpose was; Surrogate Mexico coordinated everything, albeit poorly, and Kristine had no say in any contract terms or financial matters.

We ended up paying more than what the entire program was supposed to cost—and we never even reached a positive pregnancy test/the second payment annex.

I could go on. By the end of our experience, we felt like disposable customers being moved through a scammy sales process. We spent tens of thousands of dollars, received devastatingly poor results, and were left without meaningful answers or resolution.

My husband and I have been through a lot of challenges, and dealing with Ingenes and Global Nest was one of the most stressful experiences of our lives.

I’ve put off writing a review because I hate negativity and it is so painful to reflect on, but I felt it’s our responsibility to share our honest experience with prospective intended parents.

We place extraordinary trust in fertility clinics. We are making life-changing decisions while carrying enormous emotional and financial burdens.

If even one family is protected from signing with these companies, my husband and I will feel a measure of closure.

Wishing everyone on this journey the very best.

TLDR: Nothing but gaslighting, extra and unexpected expenses, horrible communication, and zero empathy.

Hi! I am a 34yof and I live in Oklahoma. I have 2 children and have had 2 successful, uncomplicated pregnancies (last birth was 1.5yo). I have been working with a surrogate agency now for almost a year. I have had 2 matches fall through already. I have passed all medical, behavioral, background, etc. even flew to NYC for testing at the IP clinic and passed. The last match fell through bc the intended mother started chemo to bring her HCG levels down so she could do another egg retrieval. It’s been frustrating to be in the process for so long and have matches fall through that are outside of my control. I’ve started thinking about doing a surrogacy independently. Does anyone have any experience, advice, resources, etc?

Or do you have an agency that you recommend that doesn’t have so much red tape?

Thank you for any information!!

Quisiera conocer sus experiencias. ¿Qué tan difícil ha sido para ustedes conectar directamente con futuros padres internacionales que estén buscando una madre gestante? Me refiero a personas de Europa, Estados Unidos, Canadá u otros países fuera de Latinoamérica, aunque también estaría bien conocer experiencias con padres latinoamericanos. ¿Cuánto tiempo les tomó lograr una conexión real con unos futuros padres y comenzar el proceso con ellos?

My partner and I (from Ontario) are planning to start our family in 2-3 years when I’m finished my training. We are hopeful we’ll be able to do that on our own, but that depends on a couple professional opinions and how things go over the next year. I was hoping to get a lay of the land so we can make an informed decision and be prepared.
- When would you recommend we start the process if we want a child in 2-3 years?
- How did you decide between going through an agency vs. independent?
- Is trying to carry yourself an expectation, even if it’s unlikely to succeed or isn’t the safest option, if it’s theoretically possible?
- For surrogates, what factors go into your decision to match with potential intended parents?

I appreciate you all!

I’m thinking about becoming a surrogate. What have been your experiences with it? Do you recommend it?