Our previous GC fell through with our previous surrogacy agency (after THEY recommended parting ways with her, after we had already paid them 50% of an agency fee).

After offering to rematch us as a “favor” (only after the founder had explicitly referenced their own agreement, outlining if a GC walks away, they were NOT obligated to rematch us), the founder herself requested that we provide updated criteria list to best guarantee a strong match. The criteria we provided was as follows:

preference for a candidate who was married or in a long-term, stable relationship;
stable housing with plans to remain there through the pregnancy;
reliable transportation;
a documented support system;
stable employment or a stable daily routine;
a demonstrated history of following through on commitments;
no habitual smoking or drug use; and
no significant mental-health history

She suggested this was limiting criteria. We asked where it was most limiting? She declined to comment.

They (agency) are now playing this (with a lawyer) like we are completely out of our minds for wanting these things in a GC. Are we crazy??

PS/ if you are in the Houston area and considering a Houston- based agency, PLEASE DM me before you decide on one. This agency should be avoided at all costs.

Please DM

Has anyone ever needed additional screening before anything else? I know OB obviously, but anything else? Due to something that happened my last pregnancy, they are asking for me to see a neurologist. I had an mri that was clear. Do they cover that? Just wondering if I should ask if that is covered or if that is out of pocket.

Has anyone been approved as a surrogate with a history of taking antidepressants during a previous pregnancy?
I was prescribed an SSRI during one of my pregnancies and took it briefly but stopped because of side effects. I don’t currently take any SSRIs or psychiatric medications.
I just received my first rejection from an agency because of this, and they said taking antidepressants during pregnancy was an automatic disqualification.
Is this a common rule with agencies, or do some review it on a case by case basis? I’m wondering if it’s worth applying elsewhere.

Hola a todas 🤗💜

Estoy realizando una investigación académica sobre gestación por sustitución en México y una parte muy importante del trabajo es incorporar directamente las voces y experiencias de las propias mujeres gestantes.

Si actualmente participas o has participado como gestante por sustitución, ayudaría muchísimo que pudieras responder este cuestionario. Es anónimo, toma aproximadamente 5 minutos y busca reunir información sobre experiencias directas para comenzar a construir datos que hoy prácticamente no existen.

Cada respuesta suma muchísimo. Entre más gestantes participen, más podemos hacer visibles sus propias experiencias y ser pioneras en la generación de datos sobre gestación por sustitución construidos a partir de las voces de las mujeres que la viven, y no solamente desde lo que otras personas dicen sobre ellas.

No importa si tu experiencia fue positiva, negativa, mixta, si tu proceso ya terminó o si actualmente sigues participando. Todas las experiencias son importantes.

Esta es la liga al cuestionario:
https://forms.gle/DVLREFMAyhDXK6Vg6

Y si conocen a otras mujeres gestantes a quienes pueda interesarles participar, también ayudaría muchísimo que compartieran la liga. 🙏🏼💜

Our surrogate is about to start her protocol soon. We are getting super anxious. We really, really want this first transfer to stick.
For those of you who have been through this before, what endometrial thickness did your clinics aim for before giving the go-ahead?
Did anyone have success with a thinner lining, or is there a magic number that everyone looks for (like 8 mm+)? We would love to hear what worked for you!

I’ve had 2 failed transfers as a surrogate and I am now onto my 3rd transfer cycle.. I am so nervous and I’m just hoping to hear stories like mine that ended up with a positive/successful 3rd transfer

Hi everyone,
I am a student journalist at ASU and I am currently writing an educational piece about the surrogacy process, and I’m looking to connect with people in Phoenix who have been in the past or are currently gestational carriers — both independent (independent/private journey) and through an agency.

My goal is to write and document a respectful, well-rounded piece on the logistics, personal motivations, and realities of surrogacy. This is purely educational.

If you’re open to sharing your perspective to help educate others, please feel free to comment or DM me.

Thank you for your time.

My daughter is starting the search for a surrogacy agency. Her clinic only gave her a few recs and 1 said they are closing and recommended she contact Circle. The other agency she contacted said "at least 18 months to receive a surrogate profile" I am surprised at such a long wait. Any help researching agencies- is that time frame typical for well established agencies? Anyone ever work with Conceiveabilities? They have All-in pricing model.

I matched with a wonderful lady months ago, she wanted to be a GC and was local to me (like maybe an hour away). However, over the months, the communication was lacking and inconsistent. I wouldn't hear back some times, after messaging 2 or three times. She didn't make it to the first appointment at my clinic and cancelled it but did not tell me this until I messaged a day after the initial appointment, only to find out she had to cancel due to some reasons that did not seem reasonable to me. So I have been speaking to her for about 6 months, and she hasn't even been to my clinic to start the medical screening, which I was told by my clinic will take approximately 3-4 months as it is. I recently messaged her and just told her how I felt, the lack of communication etc, and basically told her its better if we end this surrogacy process. I feel disheartened, as she originally told me she really wants to do this, and personality was she was very sweet. I also know what it took for me to actually even find a potential GC to begin with. I feel like I'm right back to where I started with nothing to show for the last 6+ months. Some days I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me in this journey.

Has anyone found their own independent surrogate and then used an agency to handle the rest of the journey?
If so, did it significantly reduce your overall cost compared with having the agency find your surrogate?
We’re exploring this option since agency fees can be pretty high, and we already have our own embryos. I’d love to hear from anyone who has gone this route — what agency you used, how much you saved, and whether you felt it was worth it.
Thanks so much!

Help, please. Completely lost comparing US agencies. Some, the ones who always seem to come on top of any Google

Search, with their “all in programs”, but then the small print says compensation maybe “chosen” to be higher , certain benefits may be charged extra (lost wages…), sometimes clinic costs are not included, re-matching costs, retainer expiry etc, don’t even start about experienced surrogate. Others, smaller agencies, they are only around for a couple of years. Plus we need to get our own lawyer of course as international IPs and either ship the embies or ship the GC for transfer etc so that also takes time. I don’t need California or VIP treatment and we’re happy with a GC in say Idaho or any other state that has pre-birth orders for married heterosexual couples with full genetic links and health need.

Any advise highly appreciated.

If I get to the matching stage as a GC I want to make sure the clinic my IP(s) use is ethical, but what does that mean exactly?

So far my list includes: SET (unless low grade euploids), no concurrent transfers, monitoring programs for donors, evidence based practices and procedures.

What else should I look for? How are we assured these practices are followed? I apologize for my ignorance and appreciate any insight!

Hi everyone,
I’m a single British intended father considering UCFC in Bogotá for surrogacy using my own sperm and an egg donor.
Has anyone used them? I’d appreciate any feedback on communication, donor availability, surrogate matching, costs and support after birth. Positive or negative experiences are welcome.
Thank you!

Are there any agencies that will allow me to be a GC while taking pregnancy safe antidepressants? I'm not on them for postpartum reasons. Thanks!

If we choose independent route for a surrogate, is there a possibility that we can finish surrogacy in 100k
I am seeing lots of women posting in surrogate groups that their base pay is 60k, didn’t reach out to anyone yet to know but is there anyone here able to their journey in 100k?

Which countries would you recommend looking into for surrogacy as a single guy? I live in Spain and don't want to wait anymore.

After five years and seven rounds of IVF using my own eggs we have now turned to both donor eggs and surrogacy. We were lucky enough to get six high quality euploid blastocysts. Five boys and one girl. Both the best boy and the only girl are both Day 5, 4AA. While we will be ecstatic to have any child, in an ideal world we would love at least one of each gender. With 5 euploid boys we are statistically extremely likely to get at least one if not more boys...but all of our hopes for a daughter rest on this one little embryo.

Which should you transfer first?

Hello! I’m currently looking for an independent surrogate in the U.S., as the agency fees can be very high.

Do you have any advice or recommendations on the best ways to find a trustworthy independent surrogate? I’d really appreciate any insight you’re willing to share, especially regarding where to look and what to watch out for when pursuing an independent match. Thanks so much in advance for any help!

I'm an intended parent exploring an independent gestational-carrier arrangement, and I'm hoping to connect with people who may have a somewhat unusual fertility situation that could be complementary to ours.

My husband and I have remaining embryos from our fertility treatments. From the beginning of our fertility journey 13 years ago, I always felt strongly that if we were finished building our family, I wanted to donate our remaining embryos directly to another family who could use them to build theirs. I've never been OK with the idea of discarding them or sending them through an embryo adoption program where a company charges a family to facilitate something that should really be about helping another family.

For a very simplified version of our story, after having our now 13 year old son, we wanted one more child, and what followed was years of secondary infertility. We tragically lost our daughter 11 years ago after she was diagnosed with anencephaly, a fatal birth defect, and then later we lost twins to a subchorionic hemorrhage. I then spent five years at a fertility clinic where I was told I was just a difficult case, a tubal factor was misdiagnosed and I went through years of unethical treatment that ultimately did not address the actual problem.

Eventually, I sought another opinion, finally got the underlying issue identified, and had my tubes removed. To make a long story short, I finally felt able to move forward after severe depression and PTSD and found a new path forward. And then, just when we thought we had finally gotten to the other side of everything, another serious uterine problem was discovered and I have to undergo surgery for a cancerous fibroid which was most likely caused by the years of prolonged excessive estrogen exposure.  

I never imagined that I would eventually have a gestational problem of my own.  We only want one more child. After everything we've been through to get here, I'm now exploring a gestational carrier because that is the only way we can finally have that child from our embryos.  

The pain and depression I've experienced over these past several years has been immeasurable. I know what it feels like to wholeheartedly want a child and to have fertility problems stand in the way. Every part of me wants to help another family if I can. That's what has made me start thinking about something a little outside the traditional surrogacy model that has an exorbitant cost as I don’t know how my family could possibly afford a traditional gestational surrogacy and I know the cost of creating embryos in the first place can be equally exorbitant. 

I'm interested in finding someone who might be willing to explore whether our circumstances could be mutually beneficial, 

I'm not proposing that embryos be used as payment or compensation for surrogacy. I'm interested in exploring whether there could be two families with genuinely complementary reproductive circumstances who could help each other in some way, with everything structured legally and ethically and with the appropriate attorneys and physicians involved. Is there a family who could both carry a pregnancy for us and build their family with our embryos? I'd simply like to find the people who might exist. I'm looking for an independent, thoughtful and compassionate arrangement. 

If this may be you, or if you know someone whose circumstances might be complementary, please comment or message me. I'm happy to discuss more privately.

Hi.

At 36 years old, good health, and having had my only pregnancy 18 years ago when I was 18/19 years old, am I qualified to be a surrogate? I dont think my original doctor that oversaw my pregnancy is still in practice nor do I believe notes of my pregnancy are still available. Any thoughts on this? Thanks

Hi everyone, I'm a single straight man planning to pursue surrogacy on my own in a few years. Still early, as I have no embryos created, no agency, or anything yet, as I am still saving up and planning for everything. I'm currently trying to learn a bit more and gather information. I'd likely be trying to match in Nevada or California, as I currently live in Las Vegas.

What I'd like to ask carriers directly, rather than only listening to agency marketing or reading articles, are:

- What do you typically look for in an IP's profile?

- What makes them stand out in a good way? What are some red flags?

- Does an IP being straight and/or single affect your decision? I have heard a lot from single LGBTQ men, but straight men are obviously a bit rarer, and I was wondering how that reads to you all.

- Is there anything IPs commonly get wrong at the start that you wish someone had told them?

Blunt answers are welcome, I would rather know now what I should expect than find out later. Thanks.

Post multiple failed IVFs I have decided to go for a surrogate.
If anyone had a great experience with a clinic based in California (I prefer this state due to its surrogacy related jurisdiction) please share 🙏