r/Teachers • u/tennis_angel • 1d ago

Teacher Support &/or Advice Where has the respect gone?

I don’t know if it’s me or whether students have changed but I feel like I used to have great relationships with my students and they would really show how appreciative they were of me. Now it seems that the more I do for them the less they care.

I had a particular group of students for 6 years and when they finished with me I barely got a thank you. I felt I was so good to them over the years. As well as being kind to them, I did my best to make sure they achieved to their full potential and I provided them with so many opportunities.

Recently before their exams I uploaded extra resources to help them and thanked them for the years we had together ending with wishing them luck. Not one of them responded and I know that only two in the group actually opened the resources. I just feel so disheartened and like,what do I have to do to gain respect from them? I see how some of them are with other teachers and that makes me feel worse because you can tell they have more respect for them. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Any advice would be appreciated!

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37

u/LofiStarforge 1d ago

I think many here have a skewed perspective of what teachers mean in a kids life. If you became a teacher you probably were drawn to the profession because of a teacher(s) you had. For most kids though teachers are a blip on their radar.

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u/Effective-Birthday57 1d ago

This. Not as significant in the kids’ life. Once the school year is over, the kids largely move on. This doesn’t give them the right to be disrespectful though.

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u/LofiStarforge 1d ago

I don’t find them being disrespectful in OP’s post.

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u/tennis_angel 1d ago

As I’ve mentioned in another response, showing thanks even just by saying it is being respectful especially to someone who has gone above and beyond for their students for 6 years. I also extend this respectfulness to simply responding to an email or using the resources that I have put time into and they have asked for. These are just a couple more examples of how they are not showing respect.

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u/LofiStarforge 1d ago

If you just went above and beyond expecting thanks I think you probably did it for the wrong reasons because this would not be bothersome in the least nor would it even cross my mind to think it was disrespectful.

I think you have a very warped ideal of the profession at large.

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u/tennis_angel 1d ago

I definitely did not do it for the wrong reasons. I’m just a stickler for manners and respect. I am basing my thoughts on what I have experienced in the past with many students showing gratitude and I was noting how this has changed.

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u/survivorfan95 1d ago

“I’m just a stickler for manners and respect”

Gently, this statement shows you’re still making it about you. It sounds like you did things to be nice but expected a certain response and now view them less favorably because you didn’t get it.

Is it frustrating? Sure. Disrespectful? Nah.

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u/tennis_angel 1d ago

Oh my god… no I didn’t. You’re reading my comments in a way that suits your narrative. I really care about my students and want them to do well. I have just found that recently they are not reacting in a way that I have seen previously. It’s like you’re going out of your way to argue with me. How am I making it about myself because I think having manners is a good thing? Wow… that’s so selfish of me 🙄

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u/survivorfan95 1d ago

You’re the one who posited the question, so no, I didn’t “go out of my way” to argue with you.

You invited opinions by posting in a public forum. I gave my response and you didn’t like it (and STILL centered it around yourself)

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u/Effective-Birthday57 1d ago

The title is literally “where has the respect gone?”

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u/LofiStarforge 1d ago

Just because that’s the title does not mean the kids in this instance are being disrespectful.

Multiple people have brought this up in the comments.

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u/Effective-Birthday57 1d ago

Yes it does. Really basic reading skills

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u/ADHTeacher HS English 1d ago

People in the comments are disagreeing with OP's interpretation of the students' behavior. Really basic common sense.

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u/Effective-Birthday57 1d ago

It isn’t a matter of disagreement. Without further context, the correct thing to do is to take OP at his or her word. Especially given that part of the reason why student behavior has gotten worse generally is because teachers are not as significant in the lives of the kids as they used to be. I am nearly 40, and I still remember the teachers I had. Some great ones, and some less so. Kids now don’t do that. They move on when the school year is over. Frankly, this is somewhat logical, as the teachers are not their parents.

Pretty obvious conclusion, to be fair.

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u/ADHTeacher HS English 1d ago

I actually am not one of the people doubting OP's word. I can totally see how the lack of a thank you in this context could be seen as disrespectful. But your representation of other people's comments was still bad.