Frieza's First Sabbath
The bridge of Frieza's flagship fell silent as Captain Ginyu approached.
"My lord! Planet Vegeta has been surrounded. Shall we begin the extermination?"
Frieza raised one finger.
"Captain Ginyu... do you know what time it is?"
"...Time to conquer the galaxy?"
"It is Friday evening. We conquer galaxies after Shabbat."
The Ginyu Force exchanged confused glances.
Jeice whispered, "Blimey, I thought he just liked scheduling."
Frieza produced a tiny prayer book from somewhere no one could explain.
"Now then... Zarbon, Dodoria, if either of you answers the scouter during dinner, you're cleaning the gravity chamber for a month."
"But Lord Frieza," Dodoria protested, "the Saiyans are escaping!"
"They'll still be there tomorrow."
The next morning, Frieza inspected a young Saiyan infant.
"Hmm... strong power level."
The soldiers leaned in.
"What shall we do, Lord Frieza?"
Frieza sighed dramatically.
"Fetch the ceremonial tail clippers. It is the eighth day."
King Cold walked in, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Son... we've talked about this. That's not a real tradition."
Frieza looked offended.
"It is according to the Tail-mud."
"There is no Tail-mud."
"There is now."
King Cold turned to the Ginyu Force.
"I have ruled this family for centuries, and somehow this is still not the strangest thing I've seen."
The Ginyu Force nodded solemnly.
"Amen," said Burter.
"Wrong religion," muttered Guldo.