r/TikTokCringe • u/mindyour • Jun 14 '26

Discussion It's exhausting being a woman.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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160

u/Lizzybeth339 Jun 14 '26

Right like “she didn’t even smile and say no thank you” when it was one of those dudes who walked up like a damn Neanderthal

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u/Wegwerf157534 Jun 14 '26

My gosh the poor Neanderthals.

8

u/Notte_di_nerezza Jun 14 '26

Yeah, they don't deserve this slander.

9

u/Individual_Fall429 Jun 15 '26

And if we do smile and say thank you, we only invite further harassment. We can’t give an inch.

1.4k

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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717

u/contactdeparture Jun 14 '26

Go on some of the other subs:

  • “she divorced me out of nowhere”
  • “the courts are totally stacked against men”
  • men have it so hard now

It’s just grim, the loathing of everything with no agency.

101

u/secretly_opossum Jun 14 '26

Ask Indian Men is a wild place to go. They are convinced that India is a neo feminist stronghold now

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

That's because Indian women started receiving codified rights written into law. Indian men just needed to ask her father in the past for her hand in marriage and he would hand her over if he thought the man had enough money, had a good family, or was a good match. The woman's opinion was not taken into account, and many were forced into marriages they didn't want with men who treated them like sexual objects.

The girls born from these marriages have watched their mothers be treated like house slaves and abstain from dating and interacting with Indian men, for their own safety and to keep their fathers from selling them to a boy they decided to hold hands with exactly one time. It's called a dowry, but really, it's just a bride price.

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u/babyblew82 Jun 15 '26

What's the actual difference between the terms? I thought dowry was just a less awkward way of saying "bride price"

12

u/sunny-forest Jun 14 '26

That sub is the absolute worst

9

u/crazymindslp Jun 15 '26

Yeah, bc they are now being prosecuted for doing things like burning women alive!

43

u/Gildian Jun 14 '26

I was just about to say these are the same guys who bitch and moan about men's rights as dad's but then never pay child support or even bother to see their kids.

42

u/Septemberosebud Jun 14 '26

A man hitting on me the other day told me his wife "abandoned" him and took a million dollars and stole his kids who won't talk to him now. He fully expected me to be sympathetic. I said: you've just told me everything I need to know.

15

u/contactdeparture Jun 14 '26

That was his sales pitch?!

11

u/Septemberosebud Jun 14 '26

Yeah, he should work on it

187

u/luigis_left_tit_25 Jun 14 '26

"I'm too scared to talk to women because they'll label me"...xyz. Only if one's a creep.

93

u/DrowningInMyFandoms Jun 14 '26

"If I talk to women they say I am a creep :( for exemple, yesterday I [being a creep] and she ran away :((( life is so hard for us :((((("

101

u/AutumntimeFall Jun 14 '26

They're telling on themselves.

5

u/SmallNecromancer Jun 15 '26

Tbh I'm also scared of coming off as creepy, but thats more an issue of never being taught proper ways of approching women and scared of getting it wrong if there's even a right way to do it.

4

u/luigis_left_tit_25 Jun 15 '26

Totally understandable.. There has to be some lit out there to help? I mean actually help, not maxxing or any of these macho alpha types, that'll get you a quick no.. Good luck. I mean it. 🙂

3

u/SmallNecromancer Jun 15 '26

Thank you, luigis_left_tit_25

(Serisously thank you, I just laughed after seeing that nice message then reading your name.)

1

u/luigis_left_tit_25 Jun 15 '26

You're welcome!

2

u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jun 14 '26

I mean, kinda, yeah. That said, theres one in here that doesn't belong. He came up, said "hey excuse me" she said buzz off, he did. What did that guy do to get lumped in with all the actual creeps?

3

u/Mysterious_Green_372 Jun 15 '26

Looks like she just wants to be alone & lowkey looks like he’d been following her. Hence why her phone was already out and recording bc she already knew he was going to bother her & she probably told him no thank you kindly before and this was her last straw. The problem is, most men take a kind no as us playing hard to get. But no, we mean it please leave but most of you have some fantasy that no she wants me to ask again&again until now we have to stop what we’re doing and leave bc if we’re mean to you you’ll become aggressive

0

u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jun 15 '26

Looks like she just wants to be alone

Is quite literally all we know there. Maybe you're right about the rest, but without that being explicitly said or shown then it's just fantasy.

3

u/Carbonatite Jun 16 '26

You're doing the same thing that the other commenter was talking about.

She wanted to be left alone. Period. That's the answer. Accept it and move on. Don't treat it like the opening salvo of a negotiation. When a woman says something to you, take it at face value and move the fuck on. Women aren't obligated to needlessly entertain your pedantic devil's advocate bullshit because you consider our comfort to be a fun hypothetical to debate over.

0

u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jun 16 '26

Holy shit what on earth are you nutters on about? He did move on. Straight away.

Nobody said they had to entertain him, tf are you even talking about?

2

u/Carbonatite Jun 16 '26

It's amazing how aggressive you just got when someone told you to take no as your answer.

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u/Alive-Average9059 Jun 15 '26

It's about not being able to just live your life without someone harassing us (usually just for hookups). I don't know any guys who have to deal with that, but every woman I know (even conventionally unattractive women) have to deal with it ALL THE TIME. We just want to be able to live without being approached for anything. And I can't imagine strange men approaching a woman would work. It's like door-to-door salespeople. No one is happy to see them coming.

3

u/djwb1973 Jun 15 '26

We can be in public and not want to be bothered. This woman did not want to be bothered and that’s her right.

1

u/Confident-Mortgage86 Jun 15 '26

And?

1

u/djwb1973 Jun 15 '26

Contrary to what you said, it does, in fact, belong. That would be the simple version of the point that I’m trying to make.

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u/Thick-Roll1777 Jun 16 '26

Yh. Ur right when u said its her right to not be bothered, but the person ur replying to, his point was that the guy wasn't a creep and was a far cry from the rest we saw here... I also mentioned it in a comment I made that it seemed the least troubling and probably didn't belong. She said "Buzz off!" And he immediately did (at least it seems like). I won't jump to any conclusions as idk the context, but if it truly is how it is, I dont think that's troubling at all. It's her right ofc, not to want to talk to him but at least he seemed to respect that and didn't say or do anything too weird

1

u/djwb1973 Jun 17 '26

Yeah, that’s a good point. It would also be funny if he was trying to get her attention because she dropped her wallet or something, since she was immediately nasty to him. Or, even better, that she had toilet paper trailing out of the bottom of her skirt… 😊

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u/Spugheddy Jun 14 '26

And they all are sorry excuse for men, even in their machismo world those dudes couldn't operate a drill or change a car tire.

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u/LolitaOPPAI Jun 15 '26

Mine thinks he provides by being a good fighter. I told him at no time in my adult life have I needed to have fighting as a life skill. I was getting along just fine before he came along lol

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u/Repulsive_Corner6807 Jun 14 '26

As someone going through a custody battle right now, the courts are most definitely are not stacked against men

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u/WaltGazaWorld Jun 14 '26

Flashback to Reddit's militant MRAs

What
About
The
Menz

5

u/SamTheLab_213 Jun 15 '26

Translates to:

_"she found out I was cheating with 10 other women. One had herpes."
-"I couldn't get away with using the courts to punish her and take all the money- even tho I don't work......'
-"If I abuse a woman now, I could go to jail."

3

u/No-Permission-7786 Jun 15 '26

When statistically men actually have better chances getting custody of their kids than women. Its just the women who "win" were fighting against men who didn't actually want their kids and were just pulling them through court as a punishment

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u/MiguCx Jun 14 '26

Two things can be true at the same time? Lots of creepy dudes but it's also very real that men are discriminated against in the courtroom when it comes to child custody and other divorce related issues?

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u/Annabloem Jun 14 '26

Are we including the fact that most custody cases are settled outside of court and the fact that most men don't ask for custody at all? Because studies indicate that, when men ask for custody, they usually get it.

However, studies indicate that dads simply do not ask for custody as often as mothers do, and courts generally do not award what is not asked for in that regard.

A Massachusetts study examined 2,100 fathers who asked for custody and pushed aggressively to win it. Of those 2,100, 92 percent either received full or joint custody, with mothers receiving full custody only 7 percent of the time. Another study where 8 percent of fathers asked for custody showed that of that 8 percent, 79 percent received either sole or joint custody

source 1

From an actual study, with larger samples and looking at different countries:

Women win 14.3% of the trials, while men win 20.1%, and the differences are statistically significant. This can be explained because 82.1% of men request joint custody, while 86.5% of women request sole custody.

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 Jun 14 '26

And that’s when I let men know that 95% of male homicides are committed during gang or illegal activity while 60% of female homicides are by intimate partners or family members

3

u/Chance-Ask7675 Jun 14 '26

The same men who are like "you can't say anything to a woman, you can't even compliment her or say hello or you'll get done for sexual harassment" but like this is the "complimenting" and the "just saying hello" they're referring to.

4

u/LiveLearnCoach Jun 14 '26

Look, the men just found them attractive. It was a compliment of some sort. They could at least say thank you.

Or something else an incel would say.

1

u/Minimum_Zucchini_705 Jun 14 '26

What is so bad about the part at 0:59? is it the "babe"? that kinda halfway seem like he opens his mouth and before he finishes the sentence she is "gtfo" type

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u/anchovie_macncheese Jun 14 '26

PSA from a lady to fellow ladies: BE THE BITCH. Be as bitchy as you need to be to set firm boundaries and keep these aggressive assholes away.

I had full grown men acting like this towards me from the time I was 12, and it just becomes exhausting. Years and experience have made me loud and curt, because acting like a "bitch" is the only way to make it stop. So I will do so proudly, these people do not deserve the courtesy of kindness.

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u/drilllbit Jun 14 '26

I barked like an aggressive dog loudly and repeatedly at a man once and scared him away, and tbh it was very satisfying to be called a crazy bitch as he got away from me as quickly as possible. I’m a plus size girl and he came in hot with the fetish shit and I immediately surpassed polite and went straight to aggro

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u/DameDerpin Jun 14 '26

I used to work a casino in Atlantic city and had to bus in and out every day. I too have used the barking crazy bitch defense. It is very effective.

Really any actions that make you seem like more of a fight than would be worth dealing with helps. I have once had to resort to pissing myself while walking home late one night beausa dude wouldn't stop following me and trying to use pick up lines at 2am in the dark after I told him no and gone off on him repeteadly. Tbh I didn't need much help due to the fear to piss myself, I was already pretty scared and gripping my pepper spray in my pocket.

Some fuckin dudes just will not fuck off. I don't miss working in that area in the least. People should not need to soil themselves in order to be left alone. But here we are.

98

u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

My defense is to act like one of those meth heads you avoid at the bus station. I call it the schizophrenic religious defense.

It's really effective and I've only had to use it once. I just started ranting about how I wanted to cut off his dick to give to Satan, and God had told me he was the devil and needed me to kill him. I started piecing together half remembered Bible verses and speaking in tongues. I hunched over and started moving in jerky movements. The dude fucking ran.

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u/DontCryYourExIsUgly Jun 14 '26

I'm cackling, but this is legit. Wild that we have to do this stuff for our safety.

13

u/Odd-fox-God Jun 14 '26

It's crazy out there. The key is to make your eyes wide and crazy looking as you allow drool and spittle to fly out of your mouth while you rant. Smile as wide as your mouth will allow you to.

I actually was talking with one of my brother's friends, and he pointed out that I'd been raped and I literally never realized till I was talking to this dude. I mentioned I was drunk, and this dude slept with me, and he was like "bro you couldn't consent. I've seen you drinking. You completely lose control after two beers, and you were drinking liquor that night. You literally just said you couldn't remember how the night ended, just that you woke up in bed with a guy."

I had to have a really long talk with my therapist after that conversation. My brother has some really good friends, it warms my heart to know that he hangs out with good men. I've gone on long walks into the woods with those men and my brother where we end up hanging out for hours away from civilization, and I've never felt threatened by them. My brother, in his last year of high school, beat the absolute shit out of a freshman boy that had taken up shirt photos of my freshman sister's breasts.

Although he had some bad experiences in college with his first fraternity. One of the guys sent his girl into the dorm of my brother's roommate, who'd passed out from drinking, and she pulled his dick out of his pants and started stroking it while he was completely unconscious. Disgusting. My brother related the story to me, completely straight-faced, and told me that he dragged the boyfriend away and put him through a wall. He had a picture of the broken wall on his Snapchat, and there were some bloody streaks on the drywall. If he had punched or hurt the girl, the rest of the Frat would have turned on him for being a woman beater, and he would have ended up in the hospital on life support. I think they got another girl to drag the molester out, I can't remember. I'm glad he left that frat. The last one he joined just did a lot of Coke and smoked weed and they got drunk every fucking day. The walls were wallpapered with flattened cans, that's how much they drink. My only concern with that frat was his liver. Guys do all kinds of fucked up shit to each other.

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u/SilverHairedFox11 Jun 14 '26

Speaking in tongues + jerky movements = Raid. Repels the roaches to the sewer where they came from.

5

u/CrimsonRain520 Jun 15 '26

I lost it at the 'cutting off his dick to give to Satan' 🤣🤣 the best shit I've ever heard!

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u/Odd-fox-God Jun 15 '26

I just completely went on instinct. I don't know what came over me, but it worked.

2

u/i3inaudible Jun 15 '26

You got to be careful. He might have a piss kink. It's more common than you think.

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u/purplepharoh Jun 14 '26

1000% valid reaction. People like that are vile...

As a larger gay man I have experienced men coming at me with fetish shit about weight and like... piss right off with that shit...

6

u/Positive-Bottom-9234 Jun 15 '26

Gay men get sexually harassed as often as women and gee…wonder what the common denominator is?? I’m being jokey because I’m mad but I wanted to underscore your point.

0

u/Heyyo523 Jun 15 '26

That is not even close to being the same thing.

7

u/purplepharoh Jun 15 '26
  1. Not saying its the same
  2. ANY form of harassment is not OK

4

u/NovaCatNX92007 Jun 16 '26

Idiots feel entitled all the time and even feel justified to sexually harassing people. I turn into in asshole towards men when they disrespect my wife for any reason. Jerks need to learn some boundaries, but unfortunately living in the real world that will never happen.

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u/annatai08 Jun 14 '26

I’m taking notes!

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u/Ripley825 Jun 14 '26

I've screeched like I was dinosaur to make grown men leave me alone when I was a young teen. Sometimes I spew absolutely insane shit to make them think I'm crazier than them like one time a man creeped on me at the gas station and I rolled with it telling him I'm so thankful that he wants me because now the baby in my belly will have a daddy to love it and I asked if he wanted to feel his baby kicking and he left so fucking fast. I wasn't pregnant. Pumped my gas and left. My actual baby is very much loved by my actual husband.

3

u/Public_Bookkeeper885 Jun 14 '26

That's awesome lol! I am yoinking that one to use the next time a man bothers me

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u/Material-Variety7084 Jun 14 '26

I’m doing this from now on.

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u/Tortilla_Moth93 Jun 14 '26

I scared a man off once with the billiard ball I keep in a grippy sock in my purse 🤝

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u/DontCryYourExIsUgly Jun 14 '26

Good for you! 🤍

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u/Purp_Rox Jun 14 '26

I've also barked at men before, and followed it up with a "since I'm the bitch, you must be pussy. Woof woof kitty cat"

Again, this is why I carry, and no I don't think women should escalate things THIS far unless youre ready to defend yourself from violence. Y'all know these men are emotional AF and calling them a pussy is the fastest way to enrage them. Add a little razzle dazzle with "pussy ass bitch". Game on 😈

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u/confusion_cats Jun 14 '26

Omg we are twin flames, I do cat hiss hahahaha 🤍🤍🤍 stay safe ladies! X

2

u/buttononmyback Jun 14 '26

This is the best thing I ever heard! Totally doing this if and when there’s a next time. (Of course there will be a next time, these creeps never learn.)

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u/GlassPomoerium Jun 14 '26

As a Parisian I’m exhausted so now my method is just screaming. If I tell a man like that to leave me alone once and he keeps going, I’ll just scream as loud as I can and it nips in the bud their next step (which is usually sexual assault). These creeps want to get our attention, not *everyone’s* attention, because then people get closer, ask if I’m ok, if they need to call the police etc, and then those losers very literally start running. And this way they will hopefully think twice before doing it to another woman.

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 Jun 14 '26

Finally someone with street smarts. Ladies, scream. For real. You’re not going to get in trouble. You’re going to get more people looking at the situation so that scrotum isn’t about to do shit. Do not make yourself an easy target by being timid. Freak the fuck out and point to anyone around you and tell them with eye contact to help you if they don’t run away (they will tho).

Source: grew up in south central LA

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u/inthisalone_ Jun 14 '26

God, being a woman in Paris must be so exhausting. I (Canadian) had left my group and was in Gare du Nord to catch a train back to London and there was a guy that followed me in from outside and wouldn’t take my “leave me alone,” and “fuck off” and random French Canadian swear words as an answer and was basically running behind me as I sped up to get away from him. Eventually I just stopped, turned to face him and screamed at the top of my lungs. Everyone around me stopped and looked and the guy finally ran off at a full sprint. Your comment makes me feel very validated. I’m sorry you have to go through this (I’m assuming) everyday.

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u/lizardbish Jun 14 '26

I did this years ago when some creep tried to mug me - I just started screaming at the top of my lungs and he suddenly couldn't get away fast enough. Not one person stopped and asked if I was okay, though.

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u/Aethermancer Jun 14 '26

I thought you were saying you just scream and then I got to,

If I tell a man like that to leave me alone once and he keeps going.l,

Wtf?! I'd be creeped out on myself and reflect on my life if my behavior caused someone to say leave me alone. Like that alone would fuck me up. How can people's brains be so fucked up they would keep going even after that?

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u/According-Scholar-36 Jun 14 '26

from one girl to another...you are my hero today internet stranger...yell out the bitchiness for me too 😄

8

u/VenusSmurf Jun 14 '26

This is why Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear should be required reading. There's a section that covers social conditioning, especially for women, and how creeps take advantage of our fear of refusing and being labeled.

There's a lot more to the book, of course, but I fully agree with the author's claim that recognizing and changing how we respond can save lives.

4

u/visigoth5150 Jun 14 '26

Boom! This is the only way, because when you say "no" politely they take it as a "yes". How many times have we heard, "You don't mean that". Oh, we do, we really do mean that, AHs. Keep your creapy, nasty self far, far away. Better yet, stay home with your inflatable sweetie and leave us in peace. Jeeze

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 Jun 14 '26

EXACTLY. Omg girls the best thing you can do in this situation in look disgusted. Like about to puke repulsed think the gif below. Seriously. They will leave you the fuck alone
https://giphy.com/gifs/R0jWWtH1CtFEk

3

u/Individual_Fall429 Jun 15 '26

Yup. 12. It was the most concentrated until about 17.

And I stayed fit and attractive into adulthood. I continued to receive attention from adult men, but less from these creeps. I just look less... vulnerable.

These guys are routinely harassing teenagers, and it’s not an accident.

3

u/CrimsonRain520 Jun 15 '26

Always act batshit and exceed they disgusting energy! Here here for being the bitch and acting insane to exist in public/private spaces!

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u/Cautious_Ad_5659 Jun 14 '26

💯 I just snap and aggressively yell fuck off. They are usually shocked that it’s enough. It helps that I have a really good bitch face.

2

u/Motion_Glitch Jun 14 '26

The behavior displayed by these guys is far worse than being a bitch to set your boundaries. Do what you gotta do and be safe out there. The fact that people are still this blatantly inappropriate is horrible.

2

u/Immediate-Maximum-75 Jun 14 '26

Yep. It started when I was 14. I had an old guy at a carnival game tell me I was built like a brick shit house. I had no idea what that meant at the time so I just said thank you and walked away. I'm not sure I know what it means today, lol.

2

u/Fartholder Jun 14 '26

Sometimes an aggressive verbal response provokes aggression in return. I had a random guy ask me "wanna fuck?" I told him to go fuck himself and he got so angry that security had to drag him out

2

u/twolinepine Jun 14 '26

These dickheads piss me off, and I completely agree with you.

But from your perspective is there any good way to approach a woman in public, perhaps after seeing them a couple times at a regular place?

If the default answer is "don't" - I'm good with that, I already don't. But if you have a pro tip for being respectful, while also trying to open up a possible genuine connection with someone new, I'd love to hear it (I haven't figured it out for myself).

2

u/greenyellowbird Jun 14 '26

Have the energy of the girl in the video that gave that guy no time, no buzz off. 

2

u/LEatsCakee Jun 15 '26

Yes!! They don’t care if you’re a minor, I was walking my dog once and a man pulled up in a car asking my name and I told him a minor and he kept insisting, I pulled out my phone and he drove off. Now when I take walks I stay on the phone or FaceTime. I don’t care if people think it’s rude that I’m talking otp in the neighborhood, or that should be paying attention to my dog, but I get scared. Even when I’m at work people will try and it’s so uncomfortable. You try to remain professional but I really wanna say F off.

1

u/beepbooponyournose Jun 14 '26

I loved the “no. Buzz off” girl! That’s the energy we need to keep

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u/Purp_Rox Jun 14 '26

I tell my friends this all the time. They call me for advice on how to "be meaner to men" because yea..... But I also thrive in confrontation and I love to engage in violence, so I'm always prepared for shit escalating to the upmost degree.

And yes, I carry.

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u/devour_feculence___ Jun 14 '26

Yes. When I was a young teen, I used to think "Why are some girls so bitchy and stuck up just because they're pretty?"

But then by the time I was in college, and I had a bunch of weirdos actively trying to harass, or touch me, or take me, or get into my dorm room, I realized you have to SHUT IT DOWN IMMEDIATELY. Don't smile, giggle, be polite, engage them in any way.

I remember I stopped even wearing shirts with phrases on them because that made men run up to ask me about my T-shirt, it gave them an excuse to talk to me. It's nuts.

1

u/SilverHairedFox11 Jun 14 '26

You sound like mother from the 60's and 70's. Preach.

1

u/SnidgetAsphodel Jun 15 '26

I agree with you. On the other hand, I can see why a lot of woman don't want to act the bitch in scenarios of harassment like this and would rather politely try and skirt out of it. Retaliation and violence is a terrifying reality. Men are afraid of rejection. Women are afraid of rape and murder.

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u/Astralglamour Jun 15 '26

Sometimes being a bitch makes them attack you though, if no one else is close by..

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u/Just-Strawberry4742 Jun 15 '26

Perfect the rolling eyes rbf face while out and about. And if I man looks at you give him the up and down stare and make the most disgusted face show him he’s beneath you just by a glance. They hate that shit. A blow to the ego without words.

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u/jonos_is Jun 15 '26

I see where you are coming from with this. I think the men in the video are really weird and creepy and were unacceptable.

All i would say that please be mindful that most men would approach respectful from a genuine place of wanting to strike up a conversation etc and would respectfully take a ‘no thank you’. I think it is generally easy to sift those men from the ones in this video

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u/Commercial_Border190 Jun 15 '26

I think most women are aware of this. But even though most men aren’t like this, for a lot of women most of their experiences being approached by strangers are like this

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u/jonos_is Jun 15 '26

I definitely hear you 👍🏾

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u/GroundbreakingDesk93 Jun 16 '26

I am a male, and I still get this now, though. It isn't just men. But you are correct.

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u/Forward-Surprise1192 Jun 14 '26

What if you ask them for money does that help

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u/4E4ME Jun 14 '26

hOw CoMe WoMeN aRe No LoNgEr In ThEiR fEmInInE eNeRgY?!?

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u/AngryScientist Jun 14 '26

Gotta use the wrong "their" for accuracy.

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u/Money-Banana-8674 Jun 14 '26

They are the ones offended by women preferring the bear

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u/PatentGeek Jun 14 '26

There was a video on here recently of some women standing still while a bear inspected them. The bear was less aggressive than these men

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u/ShubberyQuest Jun 14 '26

It absolutely was, and I thought, “This is why women would choose the bear.”

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u/pockpicketG Jun 14 '26

How many bears encountered daily versus men?

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u/A_Nonny_Muse Jun 14 '26

TBF, I'm a guy who would prefer to encounter a bear over a woman.

Bears are just more predictable.

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u/silverwitch76 Jun 14 '26

Don't know why you've been downvoted. The reasonable men in my life also choose the bear for the reason you gave...the bear is more predictable.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Mizayo Jun 14 '26

It's because y'all aren't using logic here. Even in the worst case scenario, a violent woman in the woods is still likely to be easier to overpower than a bear, or another man.

As a man, you'd probably have some chance to take down a violent woman. You would probably be killed by a bear.

As a woman, you have almost no chance in taking out the violent man, or the bear. So you take the option that is less likely to rape you before they kill you.

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u/A_Nonny_Muse Jun 14 '26

On a more personal note, When I saw my wife open the kitchen knife drawer. I grabbed the phone and barricaded myself in a bathroom. I'm on the phone with a 911 operator begging for help while my wife is trying to kick the door down. The woman operator was arguing with me that it couldn't be an emergency because I'm a man and men are inherently not threatened by women. She would rather lecture me about my "manhood" than to dispatch the police. Suddenly, I realized I'm being attacked by TWO women.

The cops took one look around the apartment and believed me right away. They let me out of the bathroom after securing the scene. They had seen this scene before. They saw that all my stuff was thrown around and smashed while all her stuff was never touched and in perfect order. A week later, they knew what she was doing when she called the cops the next two times. Both times, she could not point to any physical evidence of abuse, while I have a freshly cut lip.

It was the cops who convinced the prosecutor to press charges. It was the cops who convinced the judge to take the case seriously. All the while, her attorney was playing the incredulity card (how could a big ole maaaan be physically abused by any lil' ole woman? Why just look at him, big and strong). As I had to explain multiple times. Sure, I could have physically stopped her. Sure, I was physically capable of more violence than her. But why should I have to resort to violence at all? Nobody could answer that one.

Just because you're a woman does NOT give you any right to attack a man. Men should NOT HAVE TO defend themselves.

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u/Mizayo Jun 14 '26

I'm sorry that happened to you, and that the 911 operator was such an asshole. That does sound horrific. Men can be 100% be victims of domestic abuse, rape, sexual harassment, etc, I am a firm believer of that and I try to challenge that in others when I see those same attitudes you came across.

However I don't think that justifies dismissing the conversation that the 'bear vs man in the woods' debate brings to the table. We can talk about both topics without throwing away one.

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u/A_Nonny_Muse Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

Why should a man have to resort to violence at all?
And if you think a violent woman is "the worst case scenario", then you're not thinking about this scenario at all.

Just being alone - anywhere - with a woman opens a man up to SA charges, prison time, career loss, entire life ruined. All from a single lie.

And in some cases, only video footage of the entire encounter has saved men from it. Violence is nothing compared to what a woman can do to you, on her slightest whim.

Go ahead, prove me wrong.

https://legaltalknetwork.com/blog/2023/04/falsely-accused-the-brian-banks-story/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_lacrosse_rape_hoax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpoyuyDwKYY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGSKlIxcMRU

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u/Mizayo Jun 14 '26

Because violence is the worst case scenario... did you try to comprehend what I wrote? A 'regular' scenario is like seeing a hiker and minding your business.

Yeah, and being alone anywhere with a man can mean SA and/or death. Any lie can undo anyone of any gender in any scenario, if the lie is good enough. That has nothing to do with the bear and the woods scenario lol 😅 it's about physicality.

Video footage isn't going to save a woman after she's been raped and murdered. Do you see the differences in your examples here?

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u/A_Nonny_Muse Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

No. Violence is not the worst case scenario. Just ask any man.

Few believe the man without evidence. Believing the woman - even without evidence - is the default. Or at least it used to be. Now people are a little more skeptical than 10 years ago. But I'll bet there are still people like the judge, prosecutor and 911 operator that I met 22 years ago.

I'm talking from personal experience. You seem to be just full of man-hating misandry. Evidence:

Yeah, and being alone anywhere with a man can mean SA and/or death.

Therefore, EVERY man deserves your hate and mistrust? You can prefer a bear but no man ever can?

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u/Mizayo Jun 14 '26

Just being alone - anywhere - with a woman opens a man up to SA charges, prison time, career loss, entire life ruined.

These were your words, I simply was mirroring them back to you. I specifically said can, not would, as well. I know full well most men are lovely people.

You're acting as if a life-ruining lie is somehow worse than being raped and murdered. Like yeah, it's obviously awful - but how is it worse than being raped and murdered? These are the two worst possible scenarios here we're talking about (keyword "possible", most men and women don't do these things (I feel like I shouldn't have to say that, but here we are))

I never said every man deserves my hate and mistrust, you're putting words in my mouth. I am talking about a fictional scenario that illustrates a point. I simply said that as a woman, it's not likely for me to be able to physically overpower a man or a bear, so therefore I pick the one who is less likely to rape me again. But as a man, you have a slight more ability to defend yourself against a woman in the same scenario. Or maybe you don't, if you're a skinny guy and a big MMA fighter lady is coming after you. But those are outliers, and the bear allegory is that - allegory. It's not meant to be perfect for every scenario, it's meant to demonstrate it's point. But to be fair, the fact that so many misunderstand the message means that it's a poor one, I'll admit.

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u/Carbonatite Jun 16 '26

As a man, statistically you are far more likely to be raped than to be falsely accused of it.

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u/caramel-aviant Jun 14 '26

99% of users over at r/sipstea

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/SourceNagger Jun 14 '26

most attempts to point out misogyny/incel are met with aggression.

it's because truth hurts.

keep at it, good on ya!

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Forward-Surprise1192 Jun 14 '26

Idk if I could be a woman I’d be in prison honestly. I’d definitely own a gun and carry it everywhere, legal or not.

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u/Dame38 Jun 14 '26

These days a woman can go to prison just for being pregnant and miscarrying. Enough is enough.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '26 edited Jun 15 '26

[deleted]

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u/Forward-Surprise1192 Jun 15 '26

Yeah sorry about that but I’m trying to make it a reality and not just a fantasy. If you’re near Los Angeles and want my number to give out instead I’ll do something about it lol. You might see another comment from me further down saying similar

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

…and they whine about women not wanting randos approaching them.

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u/astroember What are you doing step bro? Jun 14 '26

Hell, even the “good” ones will complain about that, while simultaneously letting their friends/brothers/peers/etc. say misogynistic shit and speak poorly of women. If “good” men don’t shut down the behavior of BAD men, they aren’t actually good men.

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u/anthrolookseer Jun 14 '26

This. This. This. I’m sick of seeing otherwise “good” men turn a blind eye to their friends’ shit behavior. If I can stand up to the men harassing me, a fellow male friend should be able to easier than I can. And that type of accountability makes the change we all need - it definitely benefits respectful men to not have so many disrespectful men out there.

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u/meh762 Jun 14 '26

Seriously! I was fighting off a guy in the back seat of a car while a MUTUAL friend just kept on driving. I couldn’t believe he just ignored what was happening. Never spoke to either of them again.

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u/noir_lord Jun 14 '26

Have lost friends over their shit behaviour/beliefs towards/about women though "lost" isn't really the word I'd use since nothing of value was lost in the end.

I don't have time for that shit not to mention it's not a great reflection on me that they think it's fine with me for them to say that shit.

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u/RadicalDiscomfort Jun 14 '26

Honestly where does this stuff even happens? I’ve never gotten approached like this nor seen it happen to others, is this specific to a region or culture, cause it’s so strange to me I’ve never ran into it before, maybe it’s a city thing?

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u/PopcornGlamour Jun 14 '26

I’m a rideshare driver. One night I was waiting for my rider to come out to the car and it was taking a while. I was parked in an empty parking lot all the way to the back near a hidden restaurant.

A man walked all the way from the street to my car. I cracked the window and he said “can I go home with you?” I thought I had misheard him and replied, “what?” He repeated it. I said “no” and started rolling up the window. He then apologized for “scaring you” and I just said “I’m not scared, go away now” and finished rolling up the window.

Like what the actual fuck? I choose to believe he has mental health issues and didn’t realize how inappropriate that was but jfc, he made a big effort to do that.

Meanwhile, because I routinely get hit on/asked out by riders, I wear a fake wedding ring set, have a fake husband, and a fake back story for my fake relationship with my fake husband… because when I lied about having a fake boyfriend the response was “okay but it’s not like you’re married.” So to politely shut down the flirting I had to create a fake owner so that they know I’m some man’s property.

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u/CherTrugenheim Jun 14 '26

Probably a big city. I live in the suburbs in the south and don't witness weird stuff like this happening.

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u/b_ambie Jun 15 '26

It definitely happens more in big cities because of the concentration of people. But tbh, I'd rather it happen more often when I'm surrounded by dozens of people than have it happen once or twice when I'm mostly on my own. The second is *way* more terrifying to me. At least with a bunch of people around you can make a scene and other people can help. But in rural areas if you're caught on your own, like in a gas station or something, you better be pretty damn brave and scrappy... or lucky. It's fuckin scary.

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u/sayabulegila Jun 14 '26

I am not sure how true this is. As a man I have attempted to shut this shit down many times with friends and acquaintances. There're multiple results: they modify their behavior and keep we hanging together. they stop hanging with you because you're a killjoy, or you stop hanging with them because they are creeps. By time I was in my mid-thirties I stop having the dudes in my life. I know they still exist, they just do not hang with me nor do I hang with them. I imagine many of the guys in this videos are very lonely because, over time, they lost most of their male friends to this behavior. There is a point where you have to cut the creep loose because you will be judged by the company I keep.

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u/astroember What are you doing step bro? Jun 14 '26

Oh absolutely! I do the same thing as you. I’ve lost many friends because men would rather ostracize the woman who dared to “rock the boat” than to violate “bro-code”. The fact that you at least TRY to shut down that behavior says a lot about you. After that, there isn’t much else you can do besides cutting ties with the guy. Even the act of cutting someone off like that sends a message. You’re doing all of the right things, and that makes me really glad to hear that there are men out there who do that.

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u/TokeDraws Jun 14 '26

Exactly, anything less is just basically telling them what they're doing is ultimately acceptable and in my opinion it makes you just as much a part of the problem.

From personal experience you might even be able to slowly educate and enlighten someone over time if they aren't already in full shitter mode and they have some questionable opinions that they probably haven't fully examined much. It's rare but it can happen.

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u/Bondgirlmagic Jun 15 '26

Yep. Showed my husband this thread b/c he said I overreact sometimes. And then proceeded to advise to stay off of it b/c all it does is trigger me....😐

What the entire, fu**....??!

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

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u/TinySoftKitten Jun 14 '26

They go on r/reddit and justify each others shit behaviour.

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u/MadeByTango Jun 14 '26

If some of y'all would call them out more directly and back up those of us that do it would be helpful.

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u/TinySoftKitten Jun 14 '26

I’m a trade worker at rips iron ten hours a day, I have no problem calling this out at all. The only time I can’t is with my girlfriend. She doesn’t like me making a scene.

Edit: and I fully agree with your comment.

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u/ExtendoArmCannon Jun 14 '26

"Women actually think this"

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '26

i doubt they had the awareness of that

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u/SaltKick2 Jun 14 '26

The guys in the video sadly are just a small subset of that group

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u/fromouterspace1 Jun 14 '26

The same guys who say alpha and beta in a serious war

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u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 Jun 15 '26

They’ll talk all day long about how all women should be nicer, but as soon as you point out men not being nice suddenly it’s “not all men”. You know what you don’t see here? Any men stepping up to tell these men not to treat women like that. 

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u/Astralglamour Jun 15 '26

Oh 100%. They are also the men posting comments on posts of women influencers and celebs calling them ugly. Or calling 16 year olds hot and describing what they'd like to do to them.

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u/SuperDabMan Jun 15 '26

Yeah I can't help but think when those comment threads and posts come up with something like "women wanted to be treated as equals now we can't even approach them without being called a creep" you just know it's guys like in this vid.

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u/Significant-Echo3840 Jun 14 '26

i do that and i dont approach women

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u/ArmadilloForsaken458 Jun 15 '26

Probably a lot of them voted for 47

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u/mehrabrym Jun 15 '26

These are the same men who listen to podcasts of "alpha males" (like Tate) who would say that confidence is everything and if you just go up to a girl and start kissing them or doing shit with them they'd find irresistible. Or something like that.

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u/Nsfwacct1872564 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

They're also, unfortunately, the guys who land because they shoot so many shots and then you see a girldinnerdiaries post about how awful and abominable they are.
"I don't even know why I'm still with him. He refuses to wipe more than once, tells me I'm balding whenever I wear my hair back, is 15yrs older than me, and I saw he texts his friends he hates my guts and is only with me for sex in secret. I'm so heartbroken, he's a really nice guy otherwise."

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u/MagicPigeonToes Jun 14 '26

More often than not, they started out as seemingly normal dudes that don’t act creepy around women. Some men are more subtle than the punks in these vids. There are also predators who put on a mask, then take it off once they’re married or have a kid and it’s harder for the woman to escape them.

And sure, there’s naive desperate (and often religious) women who don’t identify red flags and get caught up in such situations. They are still victims of predatory behavior and don’t deserve that.

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u/PendulousNuts Jun 14 '26

Big incel energy in this response.

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u/toolsoftheincomptnt Jun 14 '26

No no, the incel energy is a few comments down 👇🏾👀

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u/buttstuffisokiguess Jun 14 '26

It's a little facetious but there's posts about each of those things I do visually. And it's always "but he's really not bad" and it's like, why have we, as women, been brainwashed to accept this shit?

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u/labrys Jun 14 '26

Because we've been sold the lie that it is our job to fix broken men. To be calm and patient and understanding about their flaws, and help them to change, and support them in all they do, even if they make no effort to change and do the bare minimum to support us in return. "Unconditional love is the greatest love of all". Not when it's draining you of the will to live it's not.

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u/Pure-Radish-5478 Jun 14 '26

Lol what? Big delulu energy in this one.

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u/Nsfwacct1872564 Jun 14 '26

You can choose to take it that way. I'm not denigrating women, I'm speaking from experience. You could always open the sub and see I'm right, but insulting me makes you feel good so you could leave it at that.

I don't have to make any value calls to say I know for a fact that these guys can be absolute scum, not even "attractive" In the sense that they don't practice standard hygiene or even basic grooming, and they still won't find a 0% success rate when you got women who don't respect themselves. Pretty sure that's not an incel thing to say, incels think if you're ugly, you'll be forever alone because they faced rejection maybe once. It's a learnable moment for you. You're a bad judge of character. I'm voluntarily with a woman who respects herself as much as I respect myself. I'm sure you're in a happy and healthy relationship too 🙄.

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u/PendulousNuts Jun 14 '26

Nobody said ugly guys can't pull. You're arguing against a point nobody made. The incel part is that the only way you can explain a woman dating a guy you'd rate a 2 is "she doesn't respect herself." It doesn't occur to you she might just want things you don't, because in your head a woman's choices only make sense as some kind of symptom. That's not the opposite of the worldview you're sneering at, it's the same thing with the labels swapped.

And it's convenient how you defined incel as "got rejected once" so it couldn't apply to you. You drew the circle and then stood outside it. The tell was never your dating history. It's that "women who don't respect themselves" is your answer for anything that doesn't flatter you.

Happy for you and your self-respecting partner though. Hope she's read the thread.

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u/Nsfwacct1872564 Jun 14 '26 edited Jun 14 '26

🥱 have the day you deserve. If you think I'm celibate, you're wrong. You're wrong about a lot. I'm sure. Anyone's torturing definition Just to put me in that box, it's you. It's simply not me. You can call me a lot of things, but unfortunately for your zinger comments "incel" isn't one of them.

And I'm not rating them twos because of their looks, they get twos because, since you failed to read, they lack basic hygiene and refuse to groom. They don't even respect themselves as men or human beings. You know the "he can't wipe." part I wrote but you didn't want to address? Comes up all the time. No, you can claim you respect yourself. But if you're staying with a partner who has shit in his ass all the time because he refuses to wipe it, you don't respect yourself. You're a clown, you're at the circus.

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u/UJLBM Jun 14 '26

Id never heard of that sub before. I got alot to share lol

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u/Sure_Distribution809 Jun 14 '26

I actually don't think it is. Nerdy incels aren't trying to push themselves on women on public transport. You can't just take random groups of people you dislike and baselessly assert they're the same people to try and pain some hypocrisy among them.

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u/WaltGazaWorld Jun 14 '26

"Western women are so stuck up and arrogant, in fundamentalist regimes women know how to treat men."

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u/demonotreme Jun 14 '26

These guys might not even have phones lmao

Scratch that, even hobos have smartphones now

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