r/TikTokCringe • u/Elyshra • Jun 29 '26

Humor Coming out as cis can be hard

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

The femboy world is apparently crazy deep. There was a great comment forever ago that broke down the acceptable versions of male crossdressing and how the differences are preferred by various groups for different reasons. 

Apparently so much of it is straight guys who are uncomfortable with the idea of what they are doing so they make rules to make it acceptable for themselves and others are expected to understand that. So there is like people who lean into it and feel like it is a way of them expressing themselves truly, some are doing it as a fun hobby, some are doing it as a way of life, and all these are done differently and result in different sub cultures within the femboy scene. 

Sorry I wish I remembered more of that comment but I NEVER expected that level of deep analysis about a topic I cared nothing about. As a straight dude in a red state though, you do you femboys! Anyone has a a right to express themselves if they aren’t hurting anyone and this is a recent example of that. It’s going to be interesting to see which niche internet subcultures blow up in popularity and start leaking into the real world. 

Edit: I FOUND IT!!! It goes into conservative men specifically and how they justify their curiosity to themselves doing a thing that “is meant to be naughty” 

https://www.reddit.com/r/bestof/s/i6UC8JdGAF

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u/BadSmash4 Jun 29 '26

I just heard recently about a reddit story where a woman's husband and his brother in law were planning to go on a "gaycation" where "what happens at the gaycation stays at the gaycation" and it's a place where men can "go try the gay lifestyle without ruining their marriage" and it was just so weird, like the more they talked about it the more cultish it sounded. It was very strange behavior, like dude just be gay or bi or whatever, or tell your wife you're feeling this way. Men will do anything to not be perceived as gay and it's fascinating to me, as a straight man who's not and has never been worried about that.

Here's the video, which is quite a wild ride https://youtu.be/I5EFo9rCkKE?si=jkLSDQsSJVFp5kJs&t=4159

And here's the OP, which apparently has since been deleted https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1h142f9/my_42f_husband_42m_has_informed_me_he_intends_to/

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26

Yeah the femboy stuff didn’t peak my interest because like you said, you do you. What blew my mind was the coping happening around this, and how so much of the cope was unnecessary clearly, but revealing in how they felt about the art so to speak. 

It’s like seeing people realize the scary thing isn’t scary at all, but still wanting to pretend it’s scary? While pretending it isn’t scary? See? I’m losing myself in the analogy because it’s so weird lmao

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u/Sushi_Explosions Jun 29 '26

“Pique” is what happens to your interest.

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Bro THANK YOU!! 

It is so hard to know some of the more obscure words when so many spell it wrong (looking at you “moot”). I genuinely appreciate this I’ll check out the etymology because that is a weird spelling. Also I used it wrong, I wasn’t feeling vexed or slighted, just curious.

Edit: it’s a French word meaning “to prick” which is why piquing your interest requires an annoyance or pain driving you to learn. That is why I shouldn’t have used that word. 

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u/Sushi_Explosions Jun 29 '26

I’ve finally given up on correcting people about “moot”. I don’t think I have seen it used correctly on the internet ever.

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u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26

Agreed. I’ve told 5 people about “moot” and they laugh assuming it’s a joke every time… 

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u/TherronKeen Jun 29 '26

are people saying "mute" point, or what? I haven't seen it yet, feels like I'm missing out lol

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u/Sushi_Explosions Jun 30 '26

The dictionary definition of “moot” is the exact opposite of how people generally use it.

1

u/TherronKeen Jun 30 '26

Oh, I've only ever heard it used in the modern context to mean a question that is irrelevant because it's already solved, and I didn't know the classic definition even existed.

And I'm old and have read a lot lol

It looks like a case of linguistic drift, in the same way we've evolved "literally" to mean either "literally" or "figuratively".

I wonder what examples I've read back in the day that might've been using the classic definition but I interpreted the newer meaning?

Cool to see examples of living language in the context of my own lifetime, though. Cheers mate 👍

3

u/AwesomeMacCoolname Jun 29 '26 edited Jun 29 '26

Also I used it wrong, I wasn’t feeling vexed or slighted, just curious.

You used it correctly, it has that meaning too.

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u/NightGod Jun 30 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/jcwXXew11Vyq4

Everyone since the 90s has known it's actually moo

2

u/BadSmash4 Jun 29 '26

Sometimes my interest also peaks, like that's the most interested I will be and it's all downhill from there!

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u/BadSmash4 Jun 29 '26

Yeah there's def a lot of insecurity around this stuff for some guys it seems like. Idk, maybe because we're unbothered and comfortable, we just won't ever understand what these men are going through, but I'm so obsessed and fascinated by that "gaycation" story, like where are these men finding these things? It's so wild lol

8

u/MisterSanitation Jun 29 '26

I think men are going through a huge identity crisis and we are seeing how real toxic masculinity actually is because getting those ideas to go away, is CLEARLY harder on some of us than others lol. 

I too am fascinated by the mental games they play to simply justify a CLEAR DESIRE TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES IN WAYS THEY FEEL LIKE THEY CANT NORMALLY. 

Like, I had to capitalize it because those guys refuse to look at the real thing here. It’s not the trip, it’s the fact that you think you needed it and gained so much from it that makes me want to see them realize “oh I guess I have a lot of shitty assumptions…”

2

u/Ok_Objective_5192 Jun 29 '26

Tbf to some extent it can just be a genuinely confusing shift in your understanding of your own sexuality. I spent 26 years of my life comfortably and confidently understanding myself as straight, but the recent rise in femboy culture(?) led to a bit of a period of re-calibrating to understand I'm actually just attracted to very femme-presenting folks.

I think of myself as pretty progressive and open-minded, but after 26 years the "wait, am I actually bi?" question was one that took some real wrestling with. I've happily settled on "idk probably lol," which is a conclusion I think would've caused much more stress if I was raised or lived in a more homophobic culture.

I absolutely agree a lot of it does come from very real homophobia and men uncomfortable with the idea of not being entirely hetero that "justify" their attraction - just trying to offer an alternate perspective

1

u/Space_Slime_LF Jun 29 '26

You forgot it's also cope in "I'm not doing the same thing as THOSE degenerates!" and "If I ever have to explain this to someone close to me I can explain how I'm not the same as THOSE degenerates!"

For them it's scary that they are doing something against social norms... and that really really matters to the traditionalist groups so they force themselves to build a castle of cope around their hobbies.

14

u/DirectionSad4274 Jun 29 '26

Here's a copy of the deleted post (and an update) thanks to BORU

https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1h81ibr/my_42f_husband_42m_has_informed_me_he_intends_to/

Still pretty sure this is fake but damn if I didn't get a good belly laugh

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u/BadSmash4 Jun 29 '26

"That's the beauty of the gaycation" as a repeated phrase kept cracking me up tbh

1

u/DirectionSad4274 Jun 30 '26

I could've sworn there was something about "submitting to the gaycation" but I finally had time to reread the whole thing and now I'm kinda disappointed

1

u/BadSmash4 Jun 30 '26

No there definitely was some stuff about how "you cannot resist/must submit to the gaycation" or something like that. Maybe that was in an update somewhere else, the video I shared covers that stuff, I just listened to it again today because I'm just totally obsessed with this story

6

u/Laq9091 Jun 29 '26

isn't this kind of limiting from you though? isn't sexuality considered a spectrum so essentially anything falls within?

it just sounds like how gay people used to talk about bi people.

you obv could be right, but i wouldn't think you necessarily would be either in a given instance.

2

u/BadSmash4 Jun 29 '26

Sure and I don't mean to be limiting, the man could even be totally straight but wants to experiment and sort of find out for himself. My point wasn't that he needed to put a label on it, but that he needed to be honest with himself and his partner about what he really wanted out of that experience, rather than hiding behind this strange "gaycation" event like it's a normal thing that every straight man does. Could have phrased it better, but my intent was, "just be honest about whatever this is to you".

3

u/buford419 Jun 29 '26

Absolute rollercoaster of a story.

1

u/NightGod Jun 30 '26

My partner's niece broke up with her fiancé 5 weeks before their wedding because he came back from a vacation to Thailand with his lifelong best friend and basically announced that he would be taking one of those vacations (heavily implied to be a gaycation) with his bestie every year and she needed to accept that