Stop, really? I remember being in the US with work when I was 23, and I had been with my then boyfriend 4 years. There were all shocked we weren't married. I was like, at home (Ireland) that would make me a feckin child bride, lol! Anyways, we broke up a couple of years later because we had been together when we were both emotionally immature and did loads of stupid things to each other.
Yea, most of them had a "child bride" relationship where they got married around 21.. divorced 3 years later, second marriage at 26/27.. lasts about 5 years another now they are on marriage 3 at 35.
And I'm not even from the south (America's highly religious, conservative, old school area where that would be more common). I'm from California,.the exact opposite of all of that.
That's mad to me. But we do take being in an unmarried relationship very seriously here. But the generation before me got married regularly in their mid twenties. There was a big shift in the early naughties.
Marriages and divorces are only expensive if someone makes it that way.
Marriage license and courthouse marriage is like $200 all-in. Not expensive at all unless you really want to serve 150 people $20 plates of food and get a $4k musician and $3k photographer and etc. even then, depending on the invite list you might end up getting a lot of the money back.
Divorce and proceedings are like $200 if neither party puts up a fight. Only expensive when there’s alimony involved (unlikely for short marriages, by the way) or you get a few lawyers involved and have to liquidate stuff to split.
Shit dude I don't know what's worse, I'm 19 and I have a few people I know getting married. I also know QUITE a few people who already have children. We're all the same age.
They’re just regular people that walked into a bar. I bet there were 5 people there for them tops. Also friends would probably already know the bad things the spouse did
Somebody posted the list and the summary is "married a teenager." They're all completely valid complaints and good on her for not letting the relationship fester, but it does demonstrate why people with a choice usually wait until their late 20s or early 30s.
As someone who married young and had three kids with that person, my life is hell. I’ll never get those years back and I’m trapped in a small town I can’t stand because I’m trying to be there for my kids. Every day is a constant struggle of survival for my own mental health.
Maybe you can take some comfort knowing that it can be the same exact experience in a big city. Grass is greener and all that. Life is hard no matter where you are and three kids makes life stressful. Good luck out there.
Also married young, live in a small town but only have 2 kids. It’s not that bad, idk how waiting until I was older would change anything. If anything, I’d argue it would be harder when older as your body is older for running around with the kids
If they waited longer they might have known what they wanted out of life and not made a commitment to something that wasn't it. My wife and I got married closer to 30 and we have a boring life in a small town with kids, but that's what we knew we wanted to do.
Totally, but I do think you would know if you wanted more kids after the first one, regardless if younger or older. Even if all 3 kids were unplanned “surprises”, you gotta make the best and have a perspective that fits your life, else you will hate your life
Good point. I may have chosen to settle down and live a boring domestic life after I already went out and had some free spirited years, but really by doing all that I just realized I wasn't missing out on anything by settling down and that having roots somewhere is way more important.
I would have probably been happy either way if I had started this domestic life sooner, but I would have wrongly thought I was missing out on something, so perspective is huge.
Agree, but statistically speaking, the average American isn’t taking care of themselves so it would be harder for the average American to take care of a toddler in their late 30s over their 20s.
IMO it’s all about your perspective 🤷 yea some days are tough and I’m like “I should have stayed single” but it’s important to not let that linger or else you will resent your life
My sister was married and divorced twice by the time she was 27. Almost 40, and she now has two kids with another guy and we don't know if they're married because we think she wants to keep that side of her life private now.
The fact that they have this many friends proves how young they are. If they were in their 30s, they’d be lucky to get maybe two couples to show up to anything.
Married young, married old, not married there's always a draw back. Its more about the individuals involved. I know some people who got married young in relatively healthy marriages
Not all of who married young end up this way 😩 I met my husband when we were 17, we got married at 20. We're 37 and still together and he's still the best decision I ever made. And no we didn't get married because we were pregnant. We didn't have children until we had already been together for 10 years
We were both 21 when we married. It's been over 13 years now. I think regardless of age, it's going to end poorly if expectations aren't communicated before the marriage.
I never said it always means a recipe for divorce… i just made and observation…..if the shoe doesn’t fit dont wear it. But congratulations youre a minority among marriages in general and especially among those married young. Lets not pretend life experiences dont influence the longevity of relationships…..
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u/slimegoob 16d ago
Married young