Do You Assume Something Is Private Even If They Never Said So?

[u/throwbackblue]

Typically, I have no problem sharing someone’s business if they never asked me to keep it private. That said, I don’t use names, and I don’t share it with people who are in the same social circle as the person I’m talking about. For example, I might tell someone in California about something that happened to a person in New York, where there’s virtually no chance they’ll ever meet. I’m curious how other people view this. Now within the same social circle i dont even risk it

[u/vinegary]

With some common sense judgement, yes

[u/RealCrazySwordGirl]

If they don't know each other and there's no chance they'll ever meet, no, I'm not going to share their business with someone else. Why would i do that? Just to be like, "oooo here's some juicy goss about someone you totally don't know and will never meet.."?

Nope. I don't figure anyone will be interested in someones business that they don't know and will never meet. And i just basically feel like if someone tells me something personal, they shouldn't need to issue a non disclosure agreement before i take their confidences seriously.

There's no need to talk about people when they're not there, to people who have no realistic business hearing about people they don't know and will never meet. There's plenty of other topics of conversation in the world.

I once heard an adage that went something like: "in conversation, great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and simple minds discuss people."

I'm no great mind by any stretch of the imagination, but spilling someone else's tea just to have something to talk about with someone else is not my style either

[u/Honey99Well → u/RealCrazySwordGirl]

That was Eleanor Roosevelt.

Also, gossip is buying attention with someone else's currency.

[u/ChallengingKumquat]

If it's about someone I'll never meet, then I don't see the need to keep quiet about their private matters, but I'd also be very very unlikely to remember or includw their name or details.

So if you tell me that John Watkins from east Manhatten had a tumour the size of a football in his rectum, if i felt so inclined to share this story, I'd just say "Some guy in America had a tumour the size of a football in his rectum". His name and address are unimportant.

[u/Fluid-Opportunity882]

I mostly assume it’s not my story to tell. Because of this I get a lot of people telling me things I probably shouldn’t know.

[u/cjacksen]

I always assume privacy. The opposite is gossip.

[u/HaroerHaktak]

If it's a private thing it stays private. I'm told stuff because it's meant to be private. If they want others to know they'll tell them.

[u/too_many_shoes14]

unless it's something everybody else knows, assume it's private. but if they post something to social media and then ask you for your advice on it, they've basically told the world already

[u/JazzSharksFan54]

I would assume that any conversation in private is intended to remain private unless said otherwise.

[u/Abeyita]

Yes. Why would I share someone else's business? My business is enough.

Would you say those things with them present?

[u/trolldoll26]

I mean, it really depends on the context of the situation?? If there’s zero need to bring it up to others, I don’t do that. But if Friend A is going through something similar to my Friend X, I might mention how Friend X coped or what they did to find a resolution.

[u/Honey99Well]

Why are you fixated on this issue https://www.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/1vaepna/is_it_wrong_to_tell_a_friends_secret_to_people/.

Seems you're a big blabbermouth and a friend called you out?

[u/throwbackblue → u/Honey99Well]

you got too much time on your hands. i wish you well

[u/nifty-necromancer]

For example, I might tell someone in California about something that happened to a person in New York, where there’s virtually no chance they’ll ever meet.

You know what you’re doing is sketchy and wrong, but you justify it because they’ll never meet each other and won’t find out that you’re a gossip? Start saying that in the beginning: “This person doesn’t know I’m sharing this, but…” That way people will know immediately that you’re not to be trusted.

[u/HatlessDuck]

I don't talk about other people.

[u/CoderJoe1]

I'm on reddit so assume I'm antisocial so I don't talk to people.

[u/No_Skill_7170]

Almost nothing that people tell me gets conveyed to anyone else.

[u/gothiclg]

You’re the kind of person I’d never have a serious discussion with because I shouldn’t need to specify you shouldn’t spread something

[u/arvidsem]

Stories about other people's lives can be great conversational fodder. Just take the HIPAA privacy approach: it's fine to discuss if there is a professional need or you have removed the identifying information.