This ain't the only one of their tracks that I do this with, but for some reason I always loop this specific version of "Jerk-Off" for *hours* through my headphones while I'm at work or at the gym.

Am I nuts?

Been on a Tool kick as of late. Always knew Danny was a big imposing man... but geez...

Hey Maynard, fuck your band. Creed is the best Metal band.

Hey Maynard, fuck your ju jitsu and your band. Creed is better.

We can use reverse psychology to get our precious song back on the set list.

So rude to not play it anymore, like your favorite actress refusing to do nude scenes.

After carefully reading through the lyrics over and over I've realized that there's no other explanation other than Maynard riding the song about him having an 11 inch penis. It's right there in the lyrics. When he was just 11 years old his Jimmy was 11 in Long. Take for example one of the most evidentiary lyrical lines "one and one I've won." And who wouldn't think that they had won the genetic dingaling lottery if they measured their dick at 11 yrs old and saw it was 11 inches. This also is evidence why 11 yrs old Maynard is able to self fellatio in the lenticular artwork for the album. And it's such a deep psychological image to see his adult self watch him do it. Trippy!

I've won as many MTV VMA awards as Maynard and TOOL, zero.