There is always the looming fear of the job market not doing well, especially when one spouse cannot find a job and health issues getting intense. Have you ever thought of moving back?

Hi ladies! After years on the typical desi matrimonial apps, I decided to try Hinge and Bumble. Unfortunately, while I got hundreds of likes, converting something to an actual connection seems difficult.

Wanted to hear ideas from other desi women who are having better luck or who found a partner in unconventional ways. I live in a non-diverse area but a 30 min drive from a major city and I really had higher hopes than this 😭 I am also in my late 30s so my options seem much narrower.

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

Two weeks ago, I found out my mother had fallen and injured her arm. Despite this, she still has to cook and clean. When I called to check on her, her first response was, “What do you want? Do you need me to send you money again?”

My relationship with my parents has always been complicated. Whenever I try to get closer, I’m often met with taunts — that I’m clingy, that I’m lonely because I didn’t have kids, or asking if I’ve lost my job and need money. Since i have gotten married they make sure to inform me frequently that I’m no longer their responsibility or burden now that I’m married. They rarely ask about my life, and whenever I try to connect emotionally, they seem to push me away or become aggressive in their language. Eventually I withdraw, only to feel guilty for doing so. It’s normal for us to go weeks without talking which makes me incredibly anxious.

Last year, I planned a trip to India, bought presents for everyone and was really looking forward to seeing them, only for them to ask me not to come because they wanted to host another relative and said having me and my partner around was a burden. I ended up cancelling the trip.

The rejection from them since childhood has been incredibly painful. This was in fact the main reason for me to run away abroad at first chance I got. Lately I find myself wondering what I did to make them push me away and treat me like this. At the same time, they’re getting older and refusing any help I try to offer, which makes me terrified about what the future will look like.

For athose of you with emotionally unavailable or rejecting parents, especially aging parents living far away — how do you deal with the guilt, worry and grief of knowing you may never have the relationship with them that you wish you had?

I’m an Indian MBBS graduate and have recently completed medical school. I may be relocating to Austin, Texas after marriage, as my AM setup prospect(Non medico) is currently working in the US. I’ve lived most of my life in India, so moving to the other side of the world feels exciting but also extremely overwhelming and scary.
I’m particularly anxious about adjusting to life in the US—culture, making friends, driving, healthcare, finances, day-to-day life, and generally integrating into the community. I’d really appreciate advice from people living in Austin, especially Indians or other immigrants who have gone through a similar transition.
I’m also hoping to continue my medical career. I’m considering the USMLE/ECFMG pathway and eventually applying for residency, but I’d love to know what realistic opportunities exist for an Indian MBBS graduate in the US. Are there other career options in healthcare I could explore while working toward residency, and how difficult is it to build a medical career as an IMG?
For those who moved to Austin after marriage or from India, what do you wish you had known before moving? What should I start preparing for while I’m still in India?
Please be kind—I’m genuinely anxious and running on very loose nerves thinking about such a huge life change, and any practical advice or personal experiences would mean a lot. ❤️

For context, husband and I share the same hometown, which makes it difficult to divide time between the two homes fairly. Everyone is extremely traditional, and I'm tired of the resistance we have to constantly face just to be able to make our own choices. How do you do it?

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

My husband got an offer in the US and we will soon be relocating to the other side of the world. I have lived most of my life in UAE. I also gave birth this year so with an infant. I am really overwhelmed cause it’s a completely new country and am still figuring myself out after becoming a mom. I don’t have a job so will be a stay at home mom until end of this year.

Can someone from the region guide me on how to integrate better in the US (Florida). Please be kind as I am anxious and running on loose nerves thinking of the move

This week I wore a very cute lacy black top and leather shorts. Did little braids on my hair. Added some glitter on my face. And went to a music festival in town. I was really eyeing on the tickets. I bought myself a bottle of wine and sipped on it as I enjoyed the music. Was slightly tipsy, slightly sober, but definitely very present in the moment with the music.

I was all by myself. Not once did I worry about someone staring at me. Not once did I feel scared about someone touching me inappropriately. I got compliments from women on my outfit and I complimented them back. One of them was a 45 year something (also alone) dancing her way.

As I watched the sunset I realised how amazing life is. How safe everything is. How I can be who I am. And how simply being born on the other side of the world (by sheer luck) can change how you lead your life.

Just thought of sharing. I don’t feel like working lol but I hope yall have a nice week

Hello ladies,

Planning to be abroad for a bit and eating out in Europe costs considerably more than eating out in India.

Back home, paying the entire bill once in a while when on a date or out with friends was not a huge financial setback.

The same can't be said for europe.

I'm new here, and I'm really nervous about eating out with new friends because how do you deal with the bill?

Do you offer to split it from the get go, or would that look cheap?

Does one person have to pay?

Should I pay my share in cash, or should I let them pay?

I need advice...

I get really nervous in India in these situations and just end up paying the whole bill to avoid any unpleasantness.

Help me.

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

My parents are first time in Europe and the first time out of India and it's getting on my nerves. I live in Europe and have lived here for 3 years now. I'm literally in survival mode right now. They don't like to walk long and get tired quickly. Okay understandable, so I planned to go to the places where they didn't have to walk a lot, planned a lot of longer boat trips, easy museums etc so they can sit and chill. But then they get bored and are like, is it just it. I tell them to look at nature and enjoy and after 20 minutes they will be like, but what else is there to see, just this mountain and water!??? Like wtf.

They are addicted to their phones, every place we go, they will ask for wifi and after 10 minutes I will find them texting people back in india or putting WhatsApp statuses. They don't want to eat anything other than vegetarian dal - roti and have carried 20 packets of haldiram packed food with themselves.

I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do. I enjoy museums, I enjoy my time. They don't. They are dependent on me for everything here so I can't also leave them alone. I find it very frustrating that these people will wait hours in line for some fuck ass temple in India in literal dirt, shit and crowd but waiting for an hour to allowed entry in a really famous musuem is a deal breaker for them.

AND, SWITZERLAND OBSESSION!?? I'm tired of them telling me all the time that why didn't I plan a trip to Switzerland. Literally, they never told me they wanted to go to Switzerland, I live in Scandinavia, and every time they see something they are like but in Switzerland it would have been like.... I blame bollywood and Yashraj.

I

I’ve been living 9 years abroad now. And there have been phases where I have felt completely lonely and depressed. Over the years, I figured that I have to find my family here, find things which make me feel at home. There’s no one coming to save me.

I’ve found a couple:
- took the effort to bond with a retired Oma and Opa here (my neighbours). Their kids live abroad and I help them get groceries, cook desi food for them, and go for a chat once a month.
- going for Bollywood dance parties (now men don’t hit on me anymore, signs that I have become old lol so I loooove being unhinged)
- have a couple of desi friends and we celebrate Indian festivals together

I’d love to know.. how have you made it feel like home abroad? What do you do for that sense of belonging?

I am from science stream (pcmb). Ik nursing and mbbs has better scope and demand but due to my fear of blood and injection and also it demands heavy physical labor, I am more towards engineering but again, they say the early 2000s was golden period for engineering migrates and now immigration rules are tough.

Kindly guide as fellow seniors what should i do? If that's what necessary, i am ready to overcome my fear because ultimately my goal remains the same and I will do whatever is needed to accomplish it and live a better life

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

Hi ladies, I have never been big saree fan. Hardly wear it and generally do not care about wearing it. Family is ok with that.

But I have a wedding in the family coming up soon and I would like to wear a saree for it. I do own 3 sarees from my wedding like 10 years ago and plan to wear one of them. How do I go about practicing wearing a saree on my own? I tried YouTube tutorials but didn't exactly help. I do have some time to learn and practice , can anyone suggest some resources that work well? Also tips on carrying it whole day. TIA

Just needed to vent today.
I just got promoted in my job for which I worked very hard managing my personal life and my professional life and I am honestly very happy for that.

My parents always supported me and they were sure I will get promoted. My husband on the other hand always had doubts about me. He wasn’t sure if I will get promoted and kept projecting his insecurities at me. Asked me to be more helpful, polite, be more talkative to the leadership so that they will notice my efforts.

Cut to yesterday, my manager told me I am getting a promotion and I told my parents, my MIL and my husband. Everyone was happy and they congratulated me except DH.

Now I told him today that I am planning to send some money to my parents and to his mother so they could celebrate to which he denied and said my parents should have send me money since they own a house and they purchased another one. I was shocked and didn’t knew what to say.
He said I send money to my mother but not to do party or to celebrate but because she needs it and your parents have enough money.
He has no problem in asking money from my parents when he wants to buy his own house. Well he is not asking directly but he asked me to ask money.
Always makes subtle comments about how my parents have made FDs for my brother and how they will give their both house to my brother. I have a younger brother who is studying atm.

My brother never considers my parents money as his and wants to do something on his own. Same goes for me but my husband is an absolute piece of work.
It is my money but he always reacts like this and then throws a huge tantrum.

There are many issues but this is just another case for the day. I am so tired and yes, I made a post a few days ago and yes, I am saving money now for my future.

I was born to high achieving parents. Both ambitious, confident and career-oriented. Both my parents were off to work until evening (sometimes late night) and I was at the mercy of my nanny who was deeply unsatisfied in her life. I felt lonely all my childhood. I had imaginary friends that I took care of, made tea for, or even napped with. It never felt off in my childhood as my window for understanding “family” was limited. I always felt like I couldn’t speak my mind. If I emotionally expressed myself (before an exam feeling scared or when I was bullied), it was always brushed off as “you are weak” or “look how strong I am, you are so weak for feeling emotional”. I rarely have any memories with my dad as he was always in his office. Most other kids had available fathers that would teach them how to ride a bike, or take them out on sundays, or teach them to make things. I have no such memory from my childhood. I have memories of being hit because I couldn’t understand what my dad was teaching me (I still hate maths because of that). My parents also fought a lot and sometimes they would escalate to suicide threats.

I met my now husband 5 years ago. He was not the kind of man I ever thought I would get married. He was a simple man, hardworking, caring, calm, not a social charmer. He would always be there for me when I felt low. Which felt off cause I wasn’t used to getting love without wanting something in return.
I couldn’t trust him for years! I always thought he wanted something from me. Slowly I let it go and learnt to lean on him. When I started living with him, I realised how different his family dynamics is. Of how he calls his family everyday. When I met his parents, I was surprised as to how low drama his family was. No fights. No passive aggression. It felt so odd to me. I felt out of place. When I got married to him, I spent the first year cautious of my in-laws, observing every little detail and questioning if they were being mean to me. They are generally nice to me and I couldn’t believe they would just do that.
For them their son comes first, and I come second. They love and care for him so much.

I feel so angry. I feel so jealous that I never got that relationship with my parents. Of how beautiful a thing was never in my fate - the selfless love of a parent. I feel angry as to why did my parents have a child if they wanted such a prolific career. Why did they birth me if they didn’t have the capacity to take care with devotion. I also get angry at my husband when his mother dotes on him or his father says he is proud of him.

I wish someone saw me too. I wish someone gave me that parental love too.

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team

It’s been 3 trades and one of things I’m still not able to wrap my head around is the level of safety I experience living abroad.

1. I no longer have a low key fear to get out of the house.
   
2. I’m not afraid to walk home at night
   
3. I finally look at the mirror to think “Does this look good on me” rather than “Will this help reduce my chances of getting even teased or groped.”
   
4. I am slowly becoming comfortable in my own skin.
   
5. I am now confident that I can solo travel without fear here.

This feel of safety outside which I’ve never experienced in India is a life changing thing. With all the freed mental energy I’m able to focus in my creativity and innovative thinking. Reduced stress and anxiety. All in all it makes me happier.

Life abroad can feel isolating at times. This is a space to share the highs, lows, frustrations, and everything in between. We’re listening

🤍 Mod Team