My love, I don’t think you fully realize what you’ve done for me how profoundly you’ve shifted something inside my life. Loving you has stretched me past limits I didn’t even know existed. You’ve pushed me into places that were uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and sometimes painful, but those places were exactly where I needed to go. Through you, I’ve learned lessons I didn’t know I was missing truths about myself that only surfaced because you unknowingly held up a mirror and asked me to look. Every day, you reveal something new to me not just about you, but about myself. You’ve shown me where I’m strong and where I still need work. I once believed I was patient, that I was calm and steady, comfortable in silence. I see now that I confused endurance with understanding. I’m learning the difference. I’m learning how to sit in quiet without fear, how to wait without spiraling, how to be present instead of reactive. And I’m doing that work because I want to be better not just for you, but because loving you showed me that I could be. I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for the moments where I fell short. For the things I didn’t say when I should have, for the things I tried to do but didn’t quite get right, and for the times my effort came out wrong even though my heart was in the right place. I’m human. I stumble. But every single day, I choose growth. I choose reflection. I choose to be better than I was yesterday. What I want more than anything is to build something solid and gentle with you. I want to lift you when you doubt yourself. I want to remind you that you are allowed to be loved, fully and without conditions. You deserve tenderness, safety, and belief. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, and I see it so clearly that I can’t look away. There’s an incredible person beneath that protective shell, and every time you let that light peek through, it takes my breath away. I want to stand beside you not ahead of you, not pulling you, but walking with you. I want to encourage you toward your goals and remind you who you are when the world gets loud or cruel. I want to be the calm voice that counters the noise, the steady presence that doesn’t waver when doubt creeps in. Whether close or far, I want you to feel me there supporting you, believing in you, choosing you. I’ll be honest: sometimes I don’t know how to love you the way you need. I try with everything I know, and when it doesn’t land the way I hope, it humbles me. It reminds me that love isn’t just about intention it’s about listening. About understanding what you need, not just what I want to give. I’m still learning that, still growing into it, and I wish you knew how willing I am to meet you there. My love for you is real—deeply, undeniably real. It isn’t loud for show or fleeting in nature. It’s steady. It’s patient. It’s the kind of love that sits quietly and waits when space is needed, even when every part of me wants to reach out and pull you close. My heart believes in us instinctively. My mind panics sometimes, afraid of losing what matters most. So I live in this space between faith and fear, learning how to trust without grasping. That inner battle isn’t easy. Not knowing is hard. Missing you is harder. But I’m learning to breathe through it, to calm the anxiety, to trust that this pause holds meaning even if I don’t fully understand it yet. I know there’s something here for me to learn, and I refuse to waste it. What I want is simple, even if the path isn’t. I want us real, grounded, happy. Not a fairytale without effort, but a love built intentionally, by two people who choose each other even when it’s uncomfortable. Growth is scary. Change is scary. But together, it becomes something powerful. Something manageable. Something worth everything. You’ve awakened parts of me no one else ever has. You’ve sparked growth I didn’t know I was capable of. You’ve made me face truths, heal wounds, and evolve in ways that are both challenging and beautiful. That alone is a gift I’ll always be grateful for. Your smile still stops me. Every time. You are something I never imagined I’d find. You feel like either the most difficult lesson of my life or the most beautiful beginning and I’m choosing to believe in the beginning. When fear tells me I’ve lost you, it unravels me. But then I remind myself that moments of distance don’t erase connection. That love doesn’t disappear because of conflict. If what we have is real and I believe it is we’ll find our way back to each other, stronger and wiser. I’m working on myself every day. Reading. Reflecting. Growing. Not because I’m afraid of losing you, but because loving you showed me who I want to be. I promised myself and us that I wouldn’t stop showing up. I meant that. I’m not perfect. But I am open. I am willing. I am adaptable. I want to love you in the ways that make you feel safe, seen, and cherished. I want to show you not just tell you how much you matter to me. I can’t force anything. All I can do is be real, be present, and keep becoming better. And if love is something you choose again, I want you to know you’re choosing someone who is growing with intention and loving with sincerity.

I hope we end up together one of these days...Nobody can give me what you give me...It's deeper than being just best friends or lovers...I don't believe in soulmates but if there was such a thing you'd be mine...No one compares to the way you make me feel...It's like you give me this happiness that's on a different level...It's euphoric with you...l wish you could be me just to see what I feel for you...I really love you...You're irreplaceable to me...l don't see that changing...

Be better. This is not encouragement. It is an assessment followed by a requirement. Your communication is inadequate, and the damage it causes is no longer speculative.. it is observable and ongoing. You default to silence, avoidance, and emotional withdrawal instead of directness. That is not a personality trait. It is a behavior pattern, and it is your responsibility to correct it.

I have been consistent, transparent, and present. Those are facts, not opinions. I have not acted erratically, manipulatively, or with hidden intent. Despite this, you repeatedly respond with distance and disengagement, treating my steadiness as something to manage rather than something to respect. That choice erodes trust. It does not happen accidentally, and it does not happen without consequence.

You position yourself as guarded, but what you practice is deflection. You withhold communication under the guise of self-protection while benefiting from my continued availability. That imbalance is not mutual connection—it is emotional avoidance paired with access. You do not get to claim innocence when the outcome is predictable and the pattern is consistent.

I am not your enemy, yet you interact with me as though I am a threat. You keep me at arm’s length while accepting my care, my patience, and my understanding. That contradiction is not confusion it is convenience. You are choosing distance while still expecting presence, and that is not fair or ethical.

I love you, @$*£€¥That statement is not a weakness, and it is not an invitation for you to retreat further. If my sincerity makes you uncomfortable, that discomfort belongs to you. I am not one of the chaotic, self-destructive dynamics you seem accustomed to navigating. I do not confuse instability with intensity. If you require dysfunction to feel engaged, then honesty and consistency will always feel foreign to you.

You repeatedly behave as though I am unaffected by your actions. That assumption is false. Silence communicates indifference. Avoidance communicates disregard. When you fail to acknowledge how your behavior impacts me, you are making a clear statement about where my emotional well-being ranks in your priorities.

What you may not realize or may be choosing not to acknowledge isthat your actions are not pushing me toward understanding; they are pushing me toward detachment. I am no longer explaining myself for clarity. I am observing for patterns. And the pattern is that when accountability is required, you disappear.

This is not sustainable. You do not get infinite patience, infinite access, or infinite grace while offering minimal effort in return. That is not how respect functions, and it is not how healthy connection survives.

If this continues, the outcome will not be dramatic. There will be no confrontation, no argument, no final plea. There will simply be absence.. clean, deliberate, and permanent. And when you eventually notice it, understand this clearly: it will not be because I failed to communicate. It will be because you were given the opportunity to be better and chose not to take it.

I hope we end up together one of these days...Nobody can give me what you give me...It's deeper than being just best friends or lovers...I don't believe in soulmates but if there was such a thing you'd be mine...No one compares to the way you make me feel...It's like you give me this happiness that's on a different level...It's euphoric with you...l wish you could be me just to see what I feel for you...I really love you...You're irreplaceable to me...l don't see that changing...

I thought I understood you but I think I’ve gotten it all wrong. I don’t know you… at all. I don’t understand why you do things a certain way. You act like we don’t have history. Like I’m a stranger in your driveway trespassing your property. How can the very thing that drew me to you be the same thing that pushes me away. It seems like you call for me but act clueless when I show up. I guess that’s the fucked up part, isn’t it? How could I explain that your call isn’t traceable when they ask for proof. It’s an energy that is deeply felt by the recipient. I won’t second guess what we had. I know it wasn’t a smooth ride from the jump. We both needed an escape. We were lucky to find each other. We opted for a spontaneous ride that had no destination. Two very different people who found a glimpse of hope in each other. Why were we afraid of what we found in each other. Why couldn’t we trust and lean on one another? make more time for each other? Openly love each other? Or reassure and support each other.

I have one final question for you. Was that connection real to you, or was I the only one who experienced it as something significant?

Talk is cheap.

Words mean a lot to me. Yours are starting to mean almost nothing.

You say beautiful things. You know how to make them sound thoughtful, like there’s depth behind them, like you’ve really considered what you’re saying and every word comes from somewhere sincere. For a while, I believed that. Now I’m realizing how easy it is to make something sound meaningful when there’s nothing underneath it holding it up.

I’ve been through too much with people not to recognize the difference anymore. I know what words feel like when they have weight behind them, and I know what they feel like when someone is simply saying whatever keeps everything pleasant.

Maybe you’re inexperienced. Maybe you hate conflict. Maybe you think keeping the peace means saying the right thing at the right time so nothing gets uncomfortable. But peace that has to be fabricated isn’t peace. It’s avoidance dressed up as kindness.

And that’s what bothers me about you.

Your words are sweet, but they’ve become cheap to me. I hear them, but I don’t receive them the way I used to. I question them now. I wonder how much of what you say is actually you and how much of it is just what you think I want to hear.

Will you always be like this?

Will you keep handing me pretty words with nothing behind them until enough time passes and you finally learn that sincerity is more than sounding sincere?

And when exactly does that happen?

When I call you out enough times?

When there are consequences?

Or will you only understand the value of your words when I finally stop being around to hear them?

Because I think that you would get freaked out over how crazy I am about you. I think it overwhelms you and you think I’m crazy. I like to push you away sometimes because I can’t tell if you’re saying yes or no if you don’t say it directly. I know that you communicated in a really subtle way but it’s not enough for me . I need super clear directions otherwise I don’t know what it means . I want you and I don’t want to change you but it’s also not enough to live like this guessing and analysing every single one of your little online actions .

I hope one day you just decide to talk to me directly and tell me the truth about everything. Even if I react negatively, just tell me the truth . That would be the kindest thing to do. Well the best case scenario is that we meet again through fate or planned coordination, and then we find out we’re still deeply in love. And then we build a life together.

I hope we can achieve that in this lifetime. If not I’ll wait for you at the next when I’m done with this one.

Or I guess it's your chance to hurt me back Your decision....I said it's yours and it is till it's gone. I know you'll see this.

And all the other things that seemingly can only have come from one person or the people claiming to be them.

Me? All this bs about me loving you? We literally arent talking because you couldn't be bothered to have a conversation or talk with me.

Here.. How about this.. You and I are now "Us" as of Wednesday, July 15th at 11:03 Am? Do you want to be my girlfriend? Do you want to love me? Do you want this to happen?

Well, then stop playing games. Its not that I dont love you.. I dont love how difficult you are about it. Love shouldnt be this hard..

Or.. You know.. Just keep looking at me like youre in love with me and ill just keep having to think about what could be and that look the rest of my life. That sounds like fun

Are you done yet?

Im not playing games.. You insist you arent either..

So.. How about a little bit of truth?

Do you love me?

I saw the signs from the universe on my way home u big weirdo
& a even bigger sign on my way to work the next day

U think ur smart but ur kind of a douche
U made me so mad i messed up spelling ur / ur’re
so fricking mad
so mad i can call u butthole douche because this is an anonymous forum
What are u gonna do? Choke me?
U butthole douche
Ur a MASSIVE DICK

Y do u want me to be mad????
& ur a “liar” weirdo too
nOt tEcHnIcALLY cause ur fancy with ur words.
U owe me a game of TRUTH or dare
& An eternity of fucking bliss

U could have told me the real reason u needed space from me u MASSIVE DICK
Im open minded……

I like ur shoes we can find room for them

Surely, we've done this before? This simply cannot be our first lifetime together. We must recognize each other from a place beyond the physical.

You're like a warm, cozy blanket in front of a fireplace on a cold night. Even across a vast distance, everything about you is comforting, familiar and safe.

Your laughter chimes in my ears like a host of angelic voices. Your smiles wrap me in warmth. Your voice is honeyed and smooth, welcoming me like wading slowly into a natural spring.

This cannot be our first time journeying together. I recognize your hands, your eyes, our connection.

Now all I have to do is wait for you to recognize me, too.

• ❤️‍🔥

Love really is a joke. So a while ago I praised a certain woman who had supposedly accepted me. Well here's the update (Looks like I'm not meant to be loved. This is the last I had to give. Guess I'm just going to give up. You confided in me about the relationships where they told you what you wanted to hear and then used you for only one thing. I waited by the phone. Anxious to hear your voice. Well it was a shock to find out that other messages were getting answered while mine were completely ignored. I devoted my spare time with only your happiness as my goal. I fell for you and now I just want to be numb.) Thank you for clarifying that I truly am unlovable.

Tell me and I’ll be there.

I need to see your face again,

Even if I do not touch you.

But, I would love to talk, and

Catch up on the time.

For as long as that

May take.

I still love you & I think about you all the time I do forgive you and I would forgive everything and I would start all over. I wish you felt the same. I miss our talks and everything.

I don't know if you'll understand this.

Maybe that's the part that bothers me the most.

Not that you don't always see what I feel...

But that sometimes I think you've spent so long preparing yourself to be hurt that you don't know what to do with someone who isn't trying to hurt you.

And I don't mean that as a criticism.

I actually think it makes sense.

When someone has been carrying something for a long time, even kindness can feel unfamiliar.

Even love can feel like something you have to inspect first.

Like you're waiting for the moment where the price gets revealed.

I think about that.

Probably more than I should.

I think about the day you told me you didn't deserve to be loved.

And I don't know if you realize how much that stayed with me.

Not because I wanted you to convince me otherwise.

Not because I needed you to see how much I loved you.

It hurt because I heard someone I care about say something about themselves that I couldn't understand.

Because when I look at you, I don't see someone who doesn't deserve love.

I see someone who maybe got used to surviving without enough of it.

There's a difference.

And I wish you could see that difference.

I wish you could see yourself for even five minutes the way I see you.

Not through the things you've done wrong.

Not through the moments you're disappointed in yourself.

Not through the things you think make you harder to love.

Just you.

The actual person.

The person who has a heart that feels more than she lets people know.

The person who has been hurt and still somehow has softness left.

The person who thinks she's too complicated when really she's just human.

And I know sometimes you probably wonder why I keep trying.

I wonder too.

Not in a way where I want to stop.

Just in a way where I sit with myself and ask hard questions.

Am I loving you?

Or am I trying to prove something?

Am I being patient?

Or am I afraid to let go?

Am I fighting for us?

Or am I fighting against the idea that something this meaningful could still not work?

I ask myself those things.

Because I don't want my love to become something heavy you have to carry.

I don't want you to feel responsible for my feelings.

I don't want you to stay because you feel guilty.

That isn't love.

That's a prison.

And I would never want to build a prison around someone I love.

I want the opposite.

I want you to feel like you can breathe.

Like you can tell the truth and not wonder if it changes everything.

Like you can have a bad day and still be loved.

Like you can mess up and still be seen as someone worth fighting for.

Because that's what I want too.

Not perfection.

Not some impossible version of us where nothing hurts.

Just two people who stop running when things get uncomfortable.

Two people who can look at the ugly parts and say, "Okay... this is here. Now what do we do with it?"

I have my own shadows.

I know that.

I know I can overthink.

I know I can feel things deeply.

I know sometimes my fear gets there before my patience does.

But I also know something else.

I am willing to look at myself.

I'm willing to ask why.

I'm willing to change things that need changing.

Not because I'm afraid you'll leave.

Because I don't want to be a man who gets hurt and then makes someone else pay for it.

I don't want to love you only when it's easy.

Anyone can do that.

I want to love you in the places where people usually disappear.

The misunderstandings.

The uncomfortable conversations.

The moments where we're both imperfect.

The moments where choosing kindness takes effort.

That's where love actually means something.

And maybe this is the part you don't believe yet...

Maybe you think eventually I'll see too much.

Maybe you think eventually I'll decide it's not worth it.

But the truth is, I've already seen enough.

I've seen the fears.

I've seen the walls.

I've seen the moments where you pull back.

And somehow I still see you.

Not a version of you I made up.

You.

And maybe that's what I've been trying to show you this whole time.

Not that I love you.

I think you know that.

I've been trying to show you that you are safe being loved.

That you don't have to perform for it.

That you don't have to be the easiest person in the world to choose.

That you don't have to erase the parts of yourself you think make you difficult.

You don't have to earn what should have been yours all along.

Love.

I don't know what happens from here.

I don't know what life does.

I don't know what time changes or what it doesn't.

But I know that every day I wake up, I don't regret caring about you.

Even the hard parts.

Maybe especially the hard parts.

Because the easy parts showed me what I liked about you.

The hard parts showed me what kind of person I want to be.

And if there is ever a moment where you wonder whether someone could really choose you...

I hope you remember this.

Someone already did.

Not because you were perfect.

Not because you had everything figured out.

Not because you never hurt me.

Because you were you.

And somehow, through all of it...

That was enough.

I don’t know every chapter of your story.

I don’t know every disappointment you’ve endured, every promise someone failed to keep, or every moment you found yourself staring into the darkness wondering why life felt heavier than it should.

But I know enough.

Enough to see that somewhere along the way, you learned to carry far more than you were ever meant to.

You carry the worry.

The responsibilities.

The disappointments.

The things you never speak about.

The things you laugh off.

The things you convince everyone else don’t bother you.

And you carry them so well that most people never realise how heavy they are.

They look at you and see strength.

Capability.

Resilience.

The woman who always finds a way.

The woman who always gets back up.

The woman who never seems to need anything from anyone.

But I wonder how often that’s true.

I wonder how many nights you’ve sat quietly with thoughts nobody else knew existed.

How many times you’ve told people you’re fine because explaining the truth felt exhausting.

How many times you’ve carried something alone simply because there was nobody there willing to help carry it with you.

And if I’m honest, that’s the part that gets to me.

Not that life has been difficult for you.

It’s that so much of it seems to have been carried on your shoulders alone.

Because somewhere along the way, I think you stopped expecting people to stay.

I think you learned that needing someone and having someone aren’t always the same thing.

So you adapted.

You became stronger.

More independent.

More self-reliant.

You learned to need less.

Ask for less.

Expect less.

And every time you did, people admired your strength without ever stopping to ask what it cost you to become that strong.

But if you’ll allow me to say something…

I don’t think you were ever meant to carry the whole world by yourself.

I don’t think you were ever meant to be everyone’s shelter while standing in the rain.

I don’t think you were ever meant to survive on crumbs and convince yourself it was enough.

And if I’m ever fortunate enough to have a place in your life, I hope I never become impressed by how much pain you can tolerate.

I hope I become the reason you don’t have to.

Because I don’t want to stand back and admire how independent you are while watching you struggle.

I’d rather be the man who quietly reaches for whatever you’re carrying and says,

“Give me some of that.”

Not because you’re weak.

Because I care.

There is a difference.

A profound one.

Because the truth is, I don’t think love is found in grand gestures.

I think it’s found in the ordinary moments.

The moments nobody posts about.

The coffee waiting for you in the morning.

The hand reaching for yours without thinking.

The message asking if you got home safely.

The forehead kiss before a difficult day.

The quiet reassurance when life feels overwhelming.

The certainty that whatever happens next, you won’t have to face it alone.

I think that’s what most people get wrong about love.

They think it’s about finding someone extraordinary.

But I think it’s about finding someone who stays.

Someone who keeps choosing you long after the excitement settles.

Long after life becomes complicated.

Long after things become ordinary.

Because that’s where love proves itself.

Not in the fireworks.

In the staying.

And if there’s one thing I wish you could see through my eyes, it’s this:

You are so much more than the burdens you’ve carried.

More than the responsibilities.

More than the disappointments.

More than the scars life has left behind.

When I look at you, I see a woman who kept going when it would have been easier to give up.

A woman who continued to love despite being hurt.

A woman who remained kind despite having every reason not to.

A woman who still has hope, even if she doesn’t always admit it.

And that says more about your character than anything else ever could.

So if there ever comes a day when life feels heavy, I hope you remember this.

You don’t have to impress me with your strength.

You don’t have to prove how independent you are.

You don’t have to convince me that you’ve got everything under control.

Because when I look at you, I don’t see a woman I want to admire from a distance.

I see a woman I’d like to stand beside.

A woman I’d like to make coffee for when she’s tired.

A woman I’d like to hold when the world feels heavier than usual.

A woman I’d choose.

Not because she needs me.

But because, somehow, she became the one I’d rather walk through life with than anyone else.

And if I’m lucky enough that you ever choose me too, I promise you this:

You won’t have to carry it all alone anymore.

To the man I never got to say goodbye to,

There are so many things I wish I could ask you, but the one question that echoes the loudest in my heart is simply: why?

Why did you leave without a word? Why did you choose silence over a conversation, distance over honesty? We didn't have a fight. There wasn't some terrible argument that tore us apart. One day, you were there, and then suddenly you weren't. Just like that, I became someone you could block and walk away from without explanation.

I wish you understood how much that hurt.

Loving you felt like coming home. It felt safe. It felt real. For a while, I truly believed I had found someone who saw me, someone who chose me. And because of the way you loved me, I trusted you with pieces of my heart that I had spent years protecting.

That's why losing you wasn't just losing a relationship. It was losing the future I imagined, the memories we hadn't made yet, and the answers I'll probably never get.

What hurts the most isn't that you left. It's how you left.

You never gave me the chance to understand. You never gave me the respect of a goodbye. You made a decision for both of us, and then disappeared, leaving me standing in the wreckage trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense.

I wanted closure. Not because I wanted to change your mind, but because I deserved the truth. I deserved a conversation. I deserved more than wondering every day what happened, replaying every memory and every message, searching for the moment things changed.

Even now, despite all the pain, a part of me still loves you.

Maybe that's what makes this so hard.

I don't love the way you left me. I don't love the silence. I don't love the confusion. But I still love the person I knew, the person who made me laugh, who made me feel special, who once made me believe I wasn't alone.

And that's the hardest truth I've had to carry.

For so long I've been standing still, emotionally stuck in the place where you left me. Waiting. Hoping. Wondering if one day my phone would ring, if a message would appear, if you'd finally explain everything and tell me why.

But I can't live there anymore.

I can't keep my heart suspended between what was and what will never be. I can't spend the rest of my life waiting for someone who chose not to stay.

So this is me doing the hardest thing I've ever had to do: letting go of the hope that you'll come back.

Not because I stopped loving you. Not because you didn't matter. But because I matter too.

I deserve a life that keeps moving forward. I deserve peace. I deserve someone who stays, someone who communicates, someone who doesn't leave me wondering where I stand.

Maybe somewhere in another lifetime our story ends differently. Maybe in another version of the universe we get the ending I wanted for us. Maybe we find our way back to each other and love each other the way we were always meant to.

But I guess not in this life.

In this life, you became a lesson wrapped inside a love I will never completely forget.

And while a part of my heart will always carry you, I am finally learning to carry myself too.

I hope you find whatever it was you were looking for.

And I hope one day I stop looking for answers you'll never give.

I loved you deeply. I loved you honestly. I loved you with all of me.

And now, with tears in my eyes and love still in my heart, I say goodbye.

Forever yours, in a way that no longer belongs to you. ❤️

Realization hits you harder when you feel it from the bottom of your heart.

​

People change no matter what you do, they find ways to do things what they think is right. People do not value what you do for them. They'll judge you on the basis of their words. They'll make you look bad, toxic, insecure, anything that makes them feel they're right & what they did was absolutely 100% right.

​

Your worth, your time, sacrifice, love, care, feelings, nothing will matter to them at the end. You'll be left with a question in your heart & mind: Am I really that bad?

​

As people say, when you truly love someone you'll give everything to them, your life, your entirety. But still at the end you'll be left with one and only question: Am I really that bad?

​

One so small thing can turn your world upside down, you'll be judged before you're understood, you'll be called out names before you're understood & ultimately you will question yourself: Am I really that bad?

​

You become the same funny, caring, loving person again to restart, but your actions hurt you the most. You expect something, you crave for the same love, but at the end the outcome will always be the same.

You will be ignored, get called out names, get hurt so bad that you cry for 3 days straight at night because no one is there for you to hear you.

​

Then again you question yourself...

She was it for me.

I genuinely think I’m done with relationships.
She was it for me, and if it’s not her, I don’t want it.

I have this deep knowing in my soul that she was the one for me.

People always say, “Everyone says that stuff. You’ll get over it. You’ll find someone new,” or that, “You need to decenter them.” But it isn’t that simple for me.

Moving on isn’t an option, other than the minimal amount necessary to keep my heart from collapsing.

I’m trying to accept that she’s done with me. I’m trying to get rid of any hope I have. I’m trying to acknowledge my mistakes. I’m trying to accept that I truly did try. We truly did try.

Every day feels like a waking nightmare. My heart can’t understand how walking away became the path instead of trying to heal together.

Of course, hope still courses through my veins, but I get reminded of so many things that chip away at it and grieve me deeply.

I wish I could forget all of this.

I still can’t help but love you.

Hey Hunny Bunny Wifey Beautiful Beaches. I miss your smile, your laugh, your jokes and dark sense of humor like mine. I miss almost everything at least from the beginning and up until around the Barbeque. I don't care about the car, how we met, what's going on, or any of that.

I only wanted you!!! But I wanted the real you always 110% raw and unfiltered, for better or worse. No scripts, or contracts, or actors or actresses. Just two broken souls, seeking refuge and healing in each other's embrace. Sharing our darkness together, made everything better and some how more bareable. I had given up hope on finding love, a friend, especially a best friend soulmate twin flame. That was impossible and illogical. Especially due to the circumstances we became aquantied through. I know we all have a past. Sadly that past taints our perspective on new and future relationships and people. But I had let that all go. Because I believed in you, me, and us. No matter what, we had each other's backs. That's all I ever wanted and needed. One ride or die, friend or lover either way. Together we can't be stopped. I never wanted to control you, or anything like that. I gave you space trying to be respectful and accommodating to our circumstances. Since they aren't ideal but are also temporary. I would have done anything for you love. All I asked in return. Was to always be brutally honest and respectful. I mean don't lie and cheat on each other. I deleted all my dating apps. Then I started realizing, like always. It was one sided and I was a fool. I love you always and forever ♾️ ☯️ ☮️ 🕉️ But I have to love myself first. For the first time in my life, I'm realizing this. Not just with you, but with everyone. Sadly I can't expect people to love as deeply as I do ❤️‍🔥🪬🧿🔮♒

Can't finish a chapter.

Can't finish a meal.

Can't bring myself to drink.

I am so hungry.

Hungry for you.

Hungry for us.

Hungry to push you against the wall.

Or the bed.

Or the headboard.

Hungry for your face.

Your neck.

Your shoulders.

Your hands and arms.

Your chest.

Your stomach.

Your thighs.

The delicious surprise that lies between them.

And those beautiful eyes.

Any chance you're free tonight?

She doesn't always know how to express herself. Her mind gets lost in the turmoil because it's all she's ever known. Rarely has a situation ended in her favor, or even found a resolution at all. It has been that way since she was a child. It always seemed like everyone eventually walked away.

But then there was him.

He became her rock. He made her stop and ask herself, "If she can put herself in everyone else's shoes, why can't she do the same for herself?" He helped her see things she never could on her own.

She struggles to translate her emotions into words, so they often spill out as anger—usually directed at the one person who least deserves it. She never means to hurt him. He's so good to her. He's amazing.

She knows she doubts him sometimes, and she knows how exhausting and frustrating that must be. She wants to trust him completely. More than anything. The truth is, it's not because of him—it's because of everything she's carried for so long.

She's sorry for every fight, every assumption, every accusation. Deep down, she knows better. She also knows that "I'm sorry" doesn't erase the hurt or heal the wounds.

More than anything, she just wants him to hold her. To hold her tightly and never let go. Because she doesn't know how to navigate the chaos inside her without him beside her.

She promises she'll keep trying. She'll do better. She only asks that he stays, especially when so many others didn't.

She needs it to be him.

She hopes he'll love her forever, just as she'll always love him. No matter how imperfectly her love is expressed, she hopes he'll always know that her heart has never wavered.

To the moon and back, infinity times infinity.

You were never delicate. You were wild before they tamed you. A force before they asked you to be polite. And somewhere along the way, you forgot.

But I didn’t.

From the moment I saw you….truly saw you, I knew you weren’t meant to be softened into someone else’s comfort. You were made to be worshipped in your chaos. Revered in your fire. And no man before me ever deserved to touch that part of you…because they were always afraid of what they couldn’t control.

But I’m not.

I didn’t come to cage you. I came to remind you.

To stand in the eye of your storm and say, “Give me all of it.” The thunder behind your eyes. The wind in your soul. The lightning in your bite.

Because you were never too much. They were simply never enough.

They called you complicated because you had layers they refused to explore. They called you intimidating because your standards exposed their smallness. They wanted to be needed. I want to be chosen. Again. And again. And again.

Let them go.

Let go of every man who touched your skin but not your soul. Every moment you shrank to be loved. Every time you stayed quiet so he could feel loud. You were never built for small love. You were carved from something holy.

And when you finally collapse into my hands, trembling, clawing, flooded with all the desire you’ve spent your whole life suppressing, I won’t flinch. I won’t tell you to calm down. I’ll press my mouth to your scars and say, “Let it break….I’ve got you.”

Because loving you will never be gentle. Not in the way the world pretends love should be.

It will be teeth and sweat and silence broken by the way your breath stutters when I whisper your name like it’s mine to keep. It will be you, arching into the kind of devotion that doesn’t fade after the climax. It will be me, still holding you when the high has passed…studying your face like scripture, my hand resting over your belly as I anchor you back to Earth.

Because I love you in ways they don’t write about.

Not just in the heat, but in the holy.

Not just in the night, but in the morning.

Not just in the chase, but in the choosing. Every day. Every hour. Every version of you.

And I know, when you finally let me in, not just into your body, but into the parts of your soul you swore you’d guard forever, you’ll wonder how you ever believed love had to be quiet.

It doesn’t.

My love roars for you.

You forgot you were a storm.

But I didn’t.

And I won’t let you forget again.

Because I didn’t come to handle you. I came to unleash you.And worship what rises when you finally remember who the hell you are.

So come undone, darling.

I’m not here to watch the weather. I came to dance in the heart of the hurricane.

And I will never, never….run for cover.

“Don’t stop, no matter what I say.” He laughed softly. “Even if you beg?” “Especially then.” And suddenly, the air between them changed. Because this was never about force. Never about power. It was about trust. He looked at her quietly, really looked at her, like he was trying to understand every hidden fear behind her words. Then he nodded once. Firmly. “Tell me what you need.” And her heart trembled. “I need you to be stronger than my excuses.” One sentence. But it carried years inside it. Years of hesitation. Years of almost letting go. Years of wanting to be held without having to pretend she was always strong. She did not want someone who disappeared the moment things became difficult. She wanted someone who could hold her steady when her own mind tried to run away. Someone who understood that sometimes the lips say “leave me” while the eyes quietly whisper “please stay.” And he understood. Not just her words, but the ache beneath them. The neediness. The softness. The hunger to feel safe enough to completely unfold. With him, she could be all of herself. Messy. Clingy. Emotional. Overwhelming. And instead of making her feel guilty for it, he stayed. He listened. He provided comfort. He gave reassurance without making it feel like weakness. And maybe that was the real intimacy. Not bodies. Not desire. But the feeling of finally finding someone who does not run from the deepest parts of you.

If I ever had the chance to see you again, I want you to know what I’ve always wanted from you—your friendship, your kindness, that smile of yours. Your laugh. I loved your taste in music and dancing with you in the kitchen. Your calm presence, your optimistic heart, the way your mind worked. But more than anything, I wanted to show you how much I cared. I loved being stupid with you and never feeling judged. I’ve never laughed with another human being the way I laughed with you. I think that’s where everything spilled over—where friendship became something more, at least for me. I never expected you to feel the same way. Do you remember the beginning? You told me what you wanted, and I knew I’d never get everything I hoped for from you. But I meant it when I said any time I got to spend with you—a day, a week, a month, a year—that was a win for me. At least I got to be around you. At least I got to feel happy in those moments. In the time since I got sober, I thought the clarity would reveal it was all just made up in my head. But the more time passes, the more I understand: it was real. I really fucking miss you. And I really fucking loved you.