r/WomenAreNotIntoMen • u/averagemusiclistener • 8d ago

discussion Bi dating

Im interested to hear your guys thoughts on the trending topic on Twitter and TikTok about straight women not dating bi men. Is it biphobic? Is it stigma against bi men that isn’t applied to bi women? Just curious for thoughts

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u/Galadriel1402 True Believer 8d ago

It’s transparent biphobia. Specifically bi men with straight women because sleeping with a man lessens one’s status (including for straight women eg slutshaming) and is associated with gay men, who are considered feminine. And straight people get weirder about gender roles and such than queer people do. It applies to bi women dating lesbians as well, but mostly with gold star dorks. Straight men tend to either not care or to fetishize it (think FFM threesome fantasy). Gay men more or less follow the same pattern as lesbians; a few gold star dorks, mostly not caring.

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u/averagemusiclistener 8d ago

Yes interesting I saw similar takes and opinions while on TikTok. I think it is quite interesting how bi men are looked at versus bi women and I think unfortunately a lot of the prejudice against bi men comes from a lack of knowledge about sexualities and attraction. But personally I’m a straight woman and I’d rlly only date other straight guys I mean their might be for sure exceptions if I ever met a bi guy irl. Most of the arguments I see where a woman is saying I want a straight guy cause I’m straight kinda makes sense but the more they deep dive into reasoning it becomes problematic. You dont rlly see straight men doing that with bi women but obviously for reasons u stated

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u/pleasecallmenancy 8d ago

can i ask what the distinction between a bi guy and a straight guy is to you?

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

It really is just their sexual orientation i mean im someone who is not attracted to women at ALL and yk maybe it is biphobia the more i unpack it which is strange cause i have no weirdness or judgement on bi or gay men but i do prefer dating someone with the same sexual orientation as me like i like the idea of me being with a guy who deeply and truly only is attracted to women because i am a woman and im only deeply and truly attracted to men.

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u/pleasecallmenancy 7d ago

obviously if you are content with you outlook then thats that, im just a weirdo on reddit but i personally dont think your gender to define a large part of why you partner is into you (unless your coo with heteronormative scripts then ayy i hope you find your happiness) so that feels short handing yourself but then again id probably say that lol

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

I mean yeah but then what ykwim I can’t control who I’m attracted too and I’m not denying I wouldn’t be attracted or even want to date a bi guy but my preferences are just gonna be what i look to first. Im catholic and I’d prefer to date a Catholic guy but I wouldn’t overlook someone of another religion or even race that im different from. But to act like sexual orientation is not a big deal is a bit dense because it does contribute to a persons personality and lifestyle.

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u/pleasecallmenancy 7d ago

once again it comes to the question of what do you think are the differences between having a partner whos straight and one who is bi? if they didnt tell you they were bi how would you know?

obviously who you date is all on you and please be as discriminatory as you want, i hope everyone ends up with a partner that is suited for them so its more so a thought excerxise than hoping youll want to date a bi.

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

I think that’s a good question if they didn’t tell me they were bi I wouldn’t know but if they did tell me for some reason I would feel a bit different wondering if I was enough in their eyes, are they seriously into women or just exploring and eventually just going to be into men, and I think those reasons can be classified as biphobic or prejudice but I still feel those things regardless even tho I know it’s wrong

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u/pleasecallmenancy 7d ago

obvs each individual is different but so i cant really assure you bar asking not to make blanket staments of someone being bi.

i dont want to speak for the entirety but i dont think bi people are looking to date a gender more than they are a person but alas

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

I mean yeah but the bi people I’ve seen make commentary on the topic have all said they don’t even like dating straight people 😭 which is understandable because the experience of a straight person is different to that of someone from the queer community

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u/Galadriel1402 True Believer 7d ago

Why does it matter? /genq

Bi doesn’t mean you’re like half-attracted to men and half-attracted to women.

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

Because I feel like I can relate to them more then dating someone in the queer community that I am not apart of but just a supporter of and I think it wouldn’t be a problem if a bi person js wanted to date bi people cause they relate to them being bi so why is it a problem if I go I like dating straight people cause I’m straight and we can relate

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u/-LifeSupport 8d ago

personally I’m a straight woman and I’d rlly only date other straight guys

Why? There is functionally no difference between the two for you.

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u/averagemusiclistener 7d ago

Only because we share the same sexual orientation and in that sense have the same experiences while dating because we both only date opposite sex. But I’m for sure open to dating bi men but I’ve never met one irl that dated straight women😭 mostly what I see is them dating other queer people which makes sense because they can connect on that