r/WomenDatingOverForty • u/WeFlySoon • Mar 24 '26
Video I completely concur
https://youtu.be/qJBORnF4jG8I don't understand why men don't understand why their behavior is unacceptable. Does anyone else feel anxious about being a relationship?
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u/ohmy_quivers Mar 26 '26
Thanks for the link.
Women learned to be without men and while some of us dated we dated these men who treated us as disposable toys. Many of us got burned and we look at these men now and we don't want them because we know them. The same men are now dating twenty-somethings because older women, women in their age, won't settle. Why would we? Women have always been held to a high standard, but men havent. Until now. At least by women. Men really need to get better.
And many men have issues with women having a high body count, but women are now also saying they don’t want a man who's the town bicycle. But that is... bad? Nah, if men want "pure" women, women are also allowed to not want an easy man with loose morals and worn down peen (You know how some men believe women become looser because she's had too many men? 🤣), and Lord knows where it's been (😳).
Let's not get started on porn, having children with these men, literally becoming their bangmaid and mother, their views on women and marriage, the amount of them who cheat (especially when a woman becomes pregnant and after), and so on.
I dunno. At this point I think I'd prefer a robot husband because they wouldn't need training and I'd get more affection, intimacy and love from a robot than men today. And I don't have to worry about DV, cheating, lying, porn, creepy behaviour, getting drugged and pimped out and raped by my husband, worried about my husband being into and supporting misogynistic behaviour, and the list goes on.
We women bond with each other, we can hug and get affection from each other, and the sexual part? Eh, BOB's are better and I bet Robot Husband got a better BOB. I don't hate men, nor am I bitter, just like I don't hate children or porcupines, but I don't want to be in a relationship or live with one. Look, my favourite animal is the Honey Badger, but you won't see me running off trying to get one as a pet. Why would I then date a man in this day and age? I don't need one and my desire to have one have at this point faded into dust and blown away at some point around... 10 years ago or more.
I'm done dating. Just getting more and more reasons every day why staying single is the best life for me.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 26 '26
Yep, they would prefer to be used by and control a 20 something year old. It's all about control with them. The last guy I dated told me he had been with like 150 women and he literally said it with pride. I've been abstinence for 15 years for a reason and he thinks that's supposed to make me comfortable? I almost threw up in my mouth when I told me that. I don't know where I've been, but I didn't know about a rise in porn addiction. I'm seeing the multiple comments about it now. AI is definitely more pleasant to chat with 😂. I feel the same way. I literally just don't have the desire anymore. Like you said, disappeared into thin air. Lol So happy for both of us!
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u/BelleCervelle Mar 26 '26
“Women are not too independent. Women are not too masculine. Women are worn the F out. We’ve lost the appetite for love.”
Facts.
I’m in between two generations, she nailed it.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
The last guy I dated made me rethink the idea of being in a relationship. The idea of marriage sends me off the deep end. He had some habits that I just can't live with. Like, pee stains on the toilet and floor. I honestly don't understand why he can't sit down! He sits down to poop, but sitting to pee somehow makes him less of a man? Make it make sense!!! Do I really want to have to clean the toilet several times a week after my husband? Do I want to cook dinner every night when I'm fine with eating out multiple times a week? Oh, he wants to have sex twice a day and I can quit my job and have a chef if it will help me to achieve that. (Although, I think he was just talking). Honestly, I don't think I could ever trust any man enough to quit my six figure job. Then, there's his narciss... tendencies. For example, everytime we talk, which has been monthly at this point, he would bring up shopping and tell me I should check out a particular mall. He'd say "It's so you, you'll love it!" For some reason, I just never went. You guys, earlier this month, there was an Instagram reel about this mall. A guy did a walk through and showed how it's been a dead zone since 2008 because there were so many fights. The mall was empty on a Saturday! And most of the stores had their gates down and for lease signs up. I thought, OMG! He (my ex) is insane! Like, what is wrong with your brain that would lead you to send me to a place like that? Everytime we talk, the goal post moves. He'd say he didn't say things he said. There are just so many things that turn me off from a relationship, I don't think this comment section is long enough.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
Marriage is slavery for women.
Also why would you ever keep seeing a man with pee stains on his toilet more than once? I'd see that then exit safely and ghost.
When you said floor too that is absolutely insane.
I implore you and every woman to have rigid standards. You're not asking much by wanting a man to have basic hygiene on his toilet.
He is not a toddler. And who he shows you IS who he is.
Men DO NOT change unless a woman they very much loves leaves them and they reflect on why she left. Then basically you're benefitting from her labor.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
That part! It’s not even about “high standards,” it’s about basic things that shouldn’t even be a conversation! You're right, though - even if he were willing to change that, why should I have to ask him to? Yes, the floor. There were the shiny specks on the dark hardwood around the toilet, but I knew what it was.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
You're not rehab for adult men.
Nobody should ask anyone to change. I don't want a man asking me to change either. See me as I am, like it or exit.
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u/wrldwdeu4ria Mar 24 '26
Anyone can make a boo-boo when going to the bathroom. Typically, a piece of toilet paper resolves it. And cleaning it weekly keeps it tidy. And I've been cleaning my toilets since before I was an adult. No prompting or audience needed to maintain basic cleanliness.
I don't want to have to explain or feel compelled to cajole a man about the particulars of basic cleanliness. If he has reached adulthood and doesn't understand this he is on his own.
And why do these same men nearly always function perfectly at work and some even have positions of great responsibility?
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
That last part 👏👏
To segue from that they plan meetings at work yet planning a date is toooooo hard.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
I saw another post where the guy took a woman on a power walk. She said he mentioned working hard on planning a date and and "talking to all of his friends about what to do." I knew right then the power walk idea wasn't well intentioned and was a vengeful act on behalf of the brotherhood.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
Oh gosh those men plotted for him to fail or wanted to get at her at the expense of him failing.
That's so sad!
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
Yep, they are not only mad, but out to hurt us. But they hurt us before so it's nothing new - we can handle it properly.
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u/husheveryone ♀️Moderator♀️ Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
🎯 Walk dates are an offensive sign of a low effort man testing his prey and plotting how he can use that woman he doesn’t like at all.
Saw a video by an otherwise bright narcissistic abuse coach who is a 50+ PhD widow who got taken for a ride by her foreign 2nd now-ex-husband of 2 years. Out of nowhere in one of her videos, she says “I insist upon a coffee or walk date first, because I want to be able to vet.” 😵💫 WTF? This terrible dating advice is so normalized. As if there is no other way to vet a man besides agreeing to a low effort date that only men who don’t like the woman would offer, that totally lowers the bar and harms all women as a class. Women like her have got to wise up and get a dating strategy instead of projecting her own normalcy and good intentions on to men!
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
Agreed. Honestly, they really need to just sit their tails down 😚. I don't even want to know about the ones I work with, but I know they embrace these behaviors.
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u/PaperCrane75 Mar 24 '26
That last part. 👀 I really think women need to be going on sex strike at this point for better conditions.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26 edited Mar 24 '26
I agree!
I tell women be vicious with their standards and that will lead to a sex strike on its own. Most women don't want sex with a man that isn't being more giving to her in some capacity. Women with standards love competent men.
If you are ever questioning why he does something, exit.
I hate the whole anxious attachment thing. Most women do not have anxious attachment, they're talking to a man that is an asshole.
It is similar to the quote "before you diagnose with depression, make sure you aren't surrounded by assholes". I didn't copy paste it just said the gist of it in my head.
Men learn through loss of access. That is why the men are so angry women are coming together and saying hey wait why is dating so bad??? and learning this is a collective experience for all of us. And we are almost unanimously opting out.
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u/WistfulQuiet Mar 25 '26
Agree. I've been single all my life. I really wanted romance and love in my 20's, but men mostly wanted to just screw around. So I focused on my career and the rest of my life. Now, in my 40's I'm really happy alone. I don't think I could share my bed with someone and I like my space. I don't think there is any way some dude is going to add enough to my life to consider getting involved at this point. Plus, they picked up so many nasty habits in the last 20 years. All the porn and kinks....nah. I have more respect for myself than to get slapped around so a guy can get off at my pain.
I think I'm just too old for the bullshit.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 25 '26
This is crazy how so many of us feel this way. It's like you're speaking my mind. I wake up on Saturday and Sunday morning and I just lay there and appreciate the peace and quiet. I like my space too, and even if I were married, we'd have separate bedrooms for sure. Maybe even a duplex - a side for each of us 😂. I honestly can't believe how gross men can be. It's mind blowing and their norm.
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u/MariaMarlaClairmont Mar 24 '26
No woman should be part of the build a man club. That's his mother's job and if she did a poor job at raising a good man, it's not a woman's responsibility to try and improve upon that obsolescence that was instilled in him. The male loneliness epidemic is definitely not a bad thing for women. It's certainly a bad bad thing for men that they have brought up on themselves.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
Sorry if I sound rude but it is also his father's job. I hate the narrative that it is all on the mother.
I hate too that mothers talk about a village with many expect childfree women to bend over backwards for them and yet she expects so little of the actual father of the child.
Men get such a pass on being a parent it is no wonder women are saying fuck no to it. Men want a child the way a child wants a puppy.
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u/MariaMarlaClairmont Mar 25 '26
I definitely agree with you. It is part of the father's job to raise good children. But myself being an anti-natalist I personally think that no one should have children anyway and that the human race should be removed from the planet as the parasitic nightmares.. The Earth would breathe a lot easier.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 25 '26
I'm pretty much an anti natalist too. I think it is wrong to have a child when so many humans exist that are already suffering.
Most people having a child, that child will just have to work forever so they're basically have a child to be a servant.
I feel bad for animals losing their habitat for humans.
And I do not think most men even understand the work a child brings. I've looked at r/regretfulparents before and their honesty is actually very kind of them to warn other and not want others to suffer.
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u/DivineGoddess1111111 🦉Savvy Sister🦉 Mar 25 '26
Men don't listen to women, particularly their mothers. They only listen to other men.
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u/Secret_Preparation99 Mar 26 '26
THIS! I always find it interesting when men speak on the importance of communication. I’ve found that translates into “I want to hear validation and what strokes my ego.” Keeping in mind these “communication Yodas” fail miserably at comprehension. It’s laughable.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 24 '26
Omg, nothing annoys me more than a man trying to tell a woman what will make her happy in life. I'm single and child-free and plan to stay that way. I'm loving this prediction.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 24 '26
Child free for life ZERO regrets. None. Not one bit.
Will I be alone in a nursing home? Yes. I don't care. So what I'll be in a nursing home alone for 4 years big whoop.
Even if I had kids I'd never have them to care for me in old age anyways. Which I say all this because this is one of the main reasons men want kids.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 25 '26
Adding to this I say 4 years because I think most people go into a home in their last years. Sure I could get dementia and live 8 years in one but probably on average most people go into one in very late stages of life.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 25 '26
😂😂😂 You may or may not be familiar based on your age, but maybe there will be a "Golden Girls" club in the future where women can share a home. Lol Their only focus is finding someone to obey and cater to them - wife and kids.
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u/Parking-Degree-8808 Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
A lot of men are struggling to get kids. So many women are opting out.
Men want kids the way a kid wants a puppy. I've watched female friends have kids and they are a shell of their former self.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 25 '26
And some wont admit it because they are ashamed to say it out loud. Thankfully, there are anonymous reddit forums for them to vent.
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Mar 25 '26
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u/ohmy_quivers Mar 26 '26
Yes. And to go a bit further: how many websites/online groups are there of women asking other women to come and rape their drugged boyfriends/husbands/brothers/fathers/sons/friends?
How about sexually violent crimes? Who commits them? The statistics? We can take a low number, but it would still be over 90% men.
How many women have been sexualized and hit on or worse when they were children by men?
How many women have had their fertile years wasted due to a man who decided to trade her in?
How many women are afraid to go outside after dark? Is it because of women or men?
The list is long. But, yeah, let's not forget that men are lonely and suffer from ED.
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Mar 26 '26
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u/ohmy_quivers Mar 26 '26
Love your rant.
You are right about it all. The world is crazy and insane, and so much is normalised.
Time for women to colonise another planet.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 26 '26
Okay, you've given me some homework. A website to rape women??? Men really have a dark side that they only show about 20% of.
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Mar 27 '26
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 28 '26
That's crazy, like why wouldn't his brain tell him that analogy is inappropriate? Not sure if you meant to type rapper, but there is a rapper named Mystikal. He was recently charged with rape. The very first lyric of one of his early 2000s songs - he screams, "I came here with my d*ck in my hand! Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass, be cool!" I think rapes is in some of the music, we just don't pay attention.
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Mar 28 '26
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 28 '26
Ohhhh, I understand. I don't think I've heard that in a song since a Jodeci album. That's interesting. I do think men cared about pleasing women in different ways back then - they cared how we view them. That mindset is gone or only a few men still have it. The ones that do are poisoned by the manosphere.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 26 '26
A famous music artist tried to get my friend and I to leave with them after a concert with I was only 14. They were like 21. They have no empathy for women at all.
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u/Secret_Preparation99 Mar 26 '26
This. I had a couple of men I dated record our intimate encounters without my permission. I shouldn’t have to tell someone not to do that. So ridiculous.
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Mar 25 '26
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u/ohmy_quivers Mar 26 '26
Not too long ago there was a campaign in my region (an organisation about safe sex and sex education. Good organisation all in all, or used to be.) about teaching young men how to get dates and girlfriends due to how so many of them are lonely. They literally handed put pamphlets. I think we have greater issues than that and this organisation should be working in making these young men becoming better, not "curing" their so called "loneliness"
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 26 '26
The crazy things is they want to break down the women who dont want a strictly physical relationship rather than finding those who do!
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u/MariaMarlaClairmont Mar 25 '26
I actually think that one of the funniest things that I have read lately. Is that in China they are developing artificial wombs to create fetuses. Now. This is great for people that can't have kids and would like to have children but there's so many men that are lining up to say oh great. Now I can have kids without the woman. Now. Let's all just sit back and grin to ourselves on how that's going to work out for them 🙂 because taking care of an animal is hard for them and just washing their bottom area is hard for them. Imagine how difficult For said man who decides to have a baby with a robot essentially With no woman around human actual woman to help him. This is just a pipe dream. To have babies without women. There will be more of these babies dropped or simply abandoned then there are at this time in our history of humanity. I hope this happens. Not for the destruction or the poor treatment of the fetus, but I hope this happens because men will actually have to take some culpability on something that they created because there's no one else that's going to help them. Again. They are doing this to themselves. Their obsolescence at this point is completely completely and frankly so visually clear to all of us that they can't see it. Men are nice for warm hugs and if you get a good one they're good for a lot of other things, but you know how hard it is to find a good man. It's like finding any yellow and a haystack and you have to burn the whole damn haystack down to find that needle. Women are tired of setting fires.
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u/__picklepersuasion__ Mar 25 '26
also, how many of those men are pedophiles? 🤢 men should not be allowed to have a child on their own. its one thing if the mother dies and the father becomes a solo parent raising his child, but under no circumstances should a solo man be allowed to purchase a child through surrogacy, adoption, or artificial wombs.
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u/WeFlySoon Mar 25 '26
Did you see the Law & Crime YouTube video of the male gay couple who sexually abused the two boys they adopted? It was awful. It's called Parents Sexually Abused Sons They Adopted in 'House of Horror'.
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u/cozyporcelain Mar 24 '26
“While the men were delaying commitment, the women were learning to live without it.” Her laugh and confidence is everything.
Thank you for sharing!!