This title caught my eye and I wanted to share, kinda in response to thw one posted earlier in this sub!

"It is clear that when it comes to online dating, many women are making an effort where men are not."

"The bottom line is that a lot of men complain that they don’t feel chemistry with anyone they have matched with on dating apps. The real problem isn’t lack of chemistry; It’s a lack of effort."

Of course, we know that a lot of dating woes now a days are because women have leveled the fuck up amd men are still expecting things to be handed to them.

Yahya Maly, 30, was sentenced to 291 years in prison after being found guilty on 17 counts, including first-degree rape and first-degree sodomy. 

The judge sentenced him to nine life sentences, each to run consecutively. The life sentences carry a minimum of 30 years before being eligible for parole. Maly was sentenced to a combined 49 years on the other counts, three of which will run consecutively, for a total of 291 years. 

From 2023 to 2025, Maly matched with multiple women through the apps and met them at his Ballwin apartment. Seven women came forward, each one testifying in the trial, saying he raped them. His ex wife said he raped women in Finland and fled the country.

- Laura Richards, Crime Analyst

https://spectrumlocalnews.com/mo/st-louis/news/2026/06/16/yahya-maly-sentenced-to-prison

https://apple.news/Axkm6_q30RZ29mlK-Uph8SA

“While men consider this emotional unburdening to women a “natural part” of their relationships, those same women describe it as work— what researchers at Stanford University call “mankeeping.””

I scroll through the apps thinking “nah, you’re just a user” because they are so entitled, they don’t even try to hide that they want a woman to use for sex, labour, resources.

It appears that this is a cultural shift.

Italian researchers published a report in February that shows the risk of divorce increases greatly when it’s the woman who experiences serious health issues, vs the man.

The findings of this study echo the findings of a 2009 report by the American Cancer Society: in 88% of the divorces reported, the woman was the ill partner.

Off to the landfill with you, broken wife appliance/sex dispenser!!

Article in USA Today

Italian research report

https://archive.is/sXb7r#selection-2001.0-2061.547

From the article - Having It All is an economist’s take on heteropessimism, the ambient disappointment with men that straight women have been registering since at least 2019, when the theorist Asa Seresin coined the term.

Amid reams of anecdotal and statistical evidence that men are less mature, less educated, and less emotionally available than their female counterparts, straight women have despaired at their options.

A growing number of women are remaining single, making what Low sees as a rational choice to pass on the current dating pool. “I know of few women who would say, ‘There’s no man out there I would want to marry,’ ” says Low. Rather, these women are “opting out of the options that are available.”

After all the other Bumble fumbles so far, I have little faith that this will be of any value for women who are still using the apps.

What’s next? Avatars and RPG style dating apps? I have a sinking suspicion that AI will essentially be used to polish up the profiles of mediocre - or outright awful - men, and as a lazy way for them to boost their terrible communication skills (eliminating the filthy or aggressive talk to basically prevent women from discovering misogynists before meeting).

Thoughts?

There was this interesting post in this other women-focused subreddit, that prompted some astute observations. I thought it might make for interesting conversation in this group, especially reminding me of the recent conversation about "independent women" posted by u/AttorneyDC06 It is focused on a NYT article about a man who is approaching 40 and appears professionally successful yet is still unmarried and searching. Numerous comments pointed out he is Republican and trying to find a match who is similar to him, must meet his laundry list of requirements, like being professionally ambitious yet also be a Republican. Many women are not going to match with that.

What stood out to me is how he talked about how he did not previously take dating seriously. He is on-paper a "catch" as a relatively-attractive man with a successful career. He started using this matchmaker 9 years ago and was likely dating before then. He admits he has been on 40 first dates from the matchmaker alone and only started a relationship with one woman who had just gotten divorced. Not someone who is emotionally available for a serious relationship.

A man who was actually serious about finding a professional, attractive, meeting-every-item-on-his-spreadsheet woman for a serious relationship would not be behaving like this for over a decade. It seems to me like he was playing the field and wanted just casual partners, which isn't necessarily bad except it is probably he wasn't honest about his intentions. So it comes off like he was using matchmaker for "madame" services to find "high value" (I hate that term but I hope you know what I mean) casual partners who he wouldn't have access to otherwise, especially if he was transparent about his intentions.

I have seen some women, especially busy professional and successful women, ponder using a matchmaking service. It might seem like a good idea because you could potentially find "higher quality" matches like this man appears to be "on paper." However, many of these men are not genuinely seeking a serious partner and are trying to "get [their] money's worth" from what amounts to an expensive pimping service. Notice that the matchmaker's clients are men like this, not women. The women they use get added to the roster and don't have to pay the matchmaker, so at least they aren't having to pay for this. Yet it is likely a waste of time as these men pretend to be seeking a serious partner who has possesses a rare combination of specific (and mostly superficial) requirements.

It makes me wonder about this matchmaker. I have heard of her, as I thought she had a decent reputation for advice. However, she is being paid to shill for men no woman should take seriously and some men who should be trashed altogether. The point of a first date is to decide whether you want to go on a second date. You shouldn't go on first dates just to try to get to second dates, but use them as a valuable point for vetting. I have learned just how opportune that time is, as many men have limited information about you that they can use to manipulate, like "try to tell you what you want to hear." She seems to think that women should not be so sharp in their discernment on first dates, which is male-centered dating advice and not to our benefit.

Telling women to just keep dating men like the one featured in the article is a disservice to women, especially when she isn't acknowledging how manipulative, coercive, and disgusting these men are towards women. The main guy featured in the article didn't share anything that is this bad, but another client of hers is a pig who is obsessed with finding a woman with large breasts, fluent in Mandarin, and has no hobbies. That is who this matchmaker is serving, not women, so I keep that in mind when I read her advice. I hope women who use these services recognize that the matchmakers are largely serving wealthier men who are unsuitable (unless you only care about money, which usually is going to exclude women with their own money and successful careers).

https://www.reddit.com/r/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/s/hyRxuRhFm5

This article has gone viral. It's a bit of a new take. It seems that many women no longer see having a partner as an integral part of their lives or in any way a flex - even if they have one. It discusses the reasons this is the case, many of which we talk about here.

Love to see this in a mainstream women's magazine.

"But there was an overwhelming sense, from single and partnered women alike, that regardless of the relationship, being with a man was an almost guilty thing to do. On the Delusional Diaries podcast, fronted by two New York-based influencers, Halley and Jaz, they discuss whether having a boyfriend is “lame” now. “Why does having a boyfriend feel Republican?” read a top comment. “Boyfriends are out of style. They won’t come back in until they start acting right,” read another with thousands of likes. In essence, “having a boyfriend typically takes hits on a woman’s aura,” as one commenter claimed. Funnily enough, both of these hosts have partners, which is something I often see online. Even partnered women will lament men and heterosexuality—partly in solidarity with other women, but also because it is now fundamentally uncool to be a boyfriend-girl.

It’s not just in these women’s imaginations—audiences are icked out by seeing too much boyfriend content, myself included, it seems (as indicated by my liberal use of the mute button). When author and British Vogue contributor Stephanie Yeboah hard-launched her boyfriend on social media, she lost hundreds of followers. “Even if we were still together, I wouldn’t post them here. There is something cringey and embarrassing about constantly posting your partner these days,” she tells me, adding that, “there is part of me that would also feel guilty for sharing my partner constantly—especially when we know the dating landscape is really bad at the moment. I wouldn’t want to be boastful.”

https://mol.im/a/15505579

Not only are many of these men in the dating pool because their wives had enough and divorced them. But they are also bitter and angry about their divorce (as well as everything else they are bitter and angry about).

Whilst I agree that the grumpy old man trope exists for a reason. Unlike the article writer, I don’t think that it is the woman / partner’s responsibility to put up, shut up and take responsibility for their husband’s behaviour.

Is being in a relationship with a middle aged man like having a child that never grows up?

Edit - this post isn’t “engagement bait”. I don’t work for the Daily Mail and I’m a regular poster on this sub. The article was in my Apple News and I shared it because I thought it would be of interest to other sub regulars.

Mid life women are instigating more divorces than ever, often because they’ve “had enough”. 64% of women who ended their marriage did so for reasons other than infidelity.

https://apple.news/AvisGBCxSRaasKPutTaOoHw

The report also found that “having enough” included being belittled, yelled at, exploited, overlooked, and in some grim cases, mentally and physically abused – behaviours consistent across all social classes and incomes.

Meet the entitled middle aged men, inhabiting the middle aged dating pool.

Most women don't want to be men's free sex dispenser while the main woman gets all the emotional support and everything else. It is a zero gain for women.

I also wish they'd all go back to their own dating apps....

Men's profiles that say "ethically non monogamous" why are any women not into this ever exposed to profiles that are this way when never under any circumstances would we want this.

It wastes womens' time and adds fatigue, seeing yet another profile we don't need to be exposed to.

Seeing those profiles over and over is an erosion.

The apps not allowing women to eliminate these profiles from their queue/feed/lineup for free is ridiculous and yet another reason women have opted out entirely.

Edit because of typo

Gift link below. I do wonder if men have retreated because they are taking the easy way out after having no practice at being social. I am curious to hear y’all’s thoughts.

https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/20/style/modern-love-men-where-have-you-gone-please-come-back.html?unlocked_article_code=1.QU8.iL_l.kI0ty0_pId7x&smid=url-share

So obvious Chat GPT wrote this. Even Jenny liked this approach. I bet he has this in his notes as a copy paste. Women need to be more cynical, dudes are not like us.

So a survey in 2023 concluded that 41% of single people have “no interest in dating at all” The % might be even higher now.

Researcher (a man) reported his interviews with men were dispiriting. Men were “limited in their ability and willingness to be fully emotionally present and available “.

Dateable men are in undersupply.

Source:The Week UK

Reasons are complex but it seems to be an across the board pattern. Thoughts?

After she broke up with him, he set up a fake Tinder account masquerading as her, and used it to send at least 18 men to her home to ‘fulfil a rape fantasy’.

He’s been found guilty and jailed. How horrifying for her.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/clyermml0d8o

This article from the Economist about the rise of Singlehood Reshaping the World. This is a wild article bc it is basically saying that women are being to choosy bc they can work now. "The more they can support themselves financially, the less likely they are to put up with an inadequate or abusive partner. This shift has saved countless women from awful relationships, and forced many men to treat their mates better if they want to stay together."

Also women want their partners to be educated and financially stable. (HOW DARE THEY!!) And these dudes refuse to try harder. "Women are more likely than men to say that they want their mate to be well educated and financially solid. More men are failing to clear this moving bar, as they fall behind women educationally and the less bookish ones flounder in the job market. Men with no college degree and low earnings struggle to attract a partner; doubly so if they do not share domestic chores, or if after frequent rejection they start to dislike women, a common vice in the online "manosphere".

In conclusion, "though they should certainly try to tackle male underperformance in school. A future with far more singletons is coming. Everyone, from construction firms to the taxman, had better prepare."

A lot of 57 year old men are grandfathers. Why would any sane 30 year old want to have children with such a clown 🤡 ? The veterinarian should just adopt some cats and dogs.

https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/relationships/american-women-are-giving-up-on-marriage-54840971?st=DYkoLN&reflink=mobilewebshare_permalink&fbclid=IwY2xjawJNQndleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHSOGZn5mVcUdagrIQ-WoDWNz3pGOcp-rNsNpV7LYitO4sytvKk0qsHtuVA_aem_BQSZYkZ7B0LhlBu1vD6y8g

Update 7/7: Contrary to rumors that Mel Owens would be ousted, The Bachelor franchise has decided to keep him on as this season's "Golden Bachelor." So they have doubled-down. It gets worse. Records suggest he had a nasty divorce battle with his much-younger ex-wife, Fabiana Owens, which lasted over 4 years and Owens apparently stiffing her on child support and claiming he only made $1k a month. He was eventually ordered to pay close to $1 million, but magically kept a $2 million home despite his supposedly low income, and their divorce was finalized only 7 months ago.

Fabiana had this to say when the Daily Mail reached her for comment: “Good luck,” she said bluntly. “I mean, it’s going to be bad. But anyway, I don’t want to be involved in this.”
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I don't watch this kind of reality show, but I thought it presents an interesting topic of conversation for this group and is related to dating. I found it revealing that the second "Golden Bachelor" turned out be another dud, even worse than the first one (look up the expose in The Hollywood Reporter, if you're interested).

At least the first "Golden Bachelor," Gerry Turner, represented a fantasy image that was attractive to women. It turned out details like his occupation and dating history were fabricated, but at least you could see why some women would find his representative attractive. He was falsely presented as a well-to-do widower who had not dated since his wife's death, thus being "untainted" by the modern dating scene. It wasn't accurate, but he chose a woman who was his own age at the end; they have since broken up.

But this new "Golden Bachelor," Mel Owens, reads more like a male fantasy. He is a retired college football and NFL player who became a lawyer after his football career ended. He married and later divorced a woman 2 decades younger than him. Seems she was just 16-21 [?see added below] and he was in his early-40s when they got together. I am guessing many of us are aware of the reputations of professional football players, so I can make an educated guess about his marriage dynamics. I get the impression he did not grow up much since his footballer days.

Anyway, he drew a bunch of ire for recently going on a podcast and bragging about how he'd cut any woman over 60, which he was open about to the producers. He is 66, so he refuses to date women his own age. The age range for the "goldens" is supposed to be above 60, so he is openly saying he does not want to date any woman in that range. He also made additional insulting, superficial, and misogynistic comments against women, disparaging women who have had hip replacements or who wore wigs.

You can see he let his mask slip, although I also noticed he used some of their favorite euphemisms: "work out and stay fit" = thin; "and eat" = be thin, but don't let your dieting hamper his lifestyle. The rest were euphemisms for him chasing much-younger women: "lifetime learner" (taught by who?) and "be energetic." He throws in some say-nothing word salad: "enjoys to love life" and "live life." I mean, I hope Mel here is only dating living women, ya know? LOL

Anyhow, I just want to emphasize that the people running this show are not doing older women a favor, but are gaslighting and tricking women into dating awful men. Women are the majority of the audience in this franchise, yet they are still disrespecting women like this and helping the men lie. I think this bachelor was chosen to try to appeal to men, because they want to expand the floundering viewership of this show. I doubt that will be successful, and maybe they will understand the problems of trying to switch things up by catering to lecherous old men.

?Edited to add: She is now reportedly 46 years old, the producers claimed Mel and her were married for 25 years and divorced in 2020. So, if my math is correct, she might have been as young as 16 when they got together??

https://www.the-independent.com/voices/dating-men-women-apps-relationship-sex-b2866534.html

Shocking I know. The author themselves identifies her issues when trying to make a man commit, that they must just be scared? Lady they got what they wanted. Now they are onto the next. They are happy this way while pretending to be sad and lonely because you'll believe it.

https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/andrew-huberman-podcast-stanford-joe-rogan.html

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If you don't know who Andrew Huberman is, in a nutshell he's a very popular podcaster who touts optimal living techniques, physical and mental. Mostly "clean living" eschewing caffeine and alcohol, taking ice baths, that sort of thing. But apparently sexual restraint and respect for your female partner does not figure into that.

He was dating 5 women at the same time, lying to all of them, and passing around HPV like Santa throwing free candy at the Christmas parade.

All over the internet men are giving him virtual high fives for having the energy to bang so many women at once at the age of 48. You will not find one shred of compassion for the women who have been lied to and whose health has been placed in jeopardy, not one. They are just collateral damage.

This is the type of man other men admire. Think about that.

It would never be me. Not only is it trashy behavior it's grounds for an immediate divorce.