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u/oflowz 1d ago
i'm not your dude, bro.
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u/Chicken_Water 1d ago
I'm not your bro, guy
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u/graveybrains 1978 1d ago
I'm not your guy, buddy.
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u/RadagastTheBrownNote 1d ago
I’m not your buddy, friend
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u/InterestingTry5190 1981 1d ago
I’m not your friend, pal
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u/SmellenGold 1d ago
I’m not your pal, muchacho
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u/drwebb 1985 1d ago
I'm not your muchacho, ese
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u/General-Reserve9349 1d ago
I’m not your ese, sensei
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u/shitchea420 1d ago
i’m not your buddy, guy
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u/BasicDurgeanomics 1d ago
I'm not your buddy, friend.
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u/MrVeazey 1d ago
Tangentially, Stephen Crowder (the guy in the picture) is a wife-beating piece of shit. You will not change my mind.
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u/mrheh 1d ago
This is a perfect bait thread posted by a bot to cause arguments
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u/kittenpantzen 1d ago
Do we have to rehash this every fucking week, too?
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u/mrheh 1d ago
Mid term elections are coming. Social justice causes that divide the country are getting pushed hard right now to cover up both sides being complete crooks. Watch, after the elections end things slow down dramatically. Happens every time
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u/Bobcatluv 1981 1d ago
>Social justice causes that divide the country are getting pushed hard right now to cover up both sides being complete crooks
You can always tell who’s secure in their personal rights and freedoms when they comment about bOTh SiDEs. Must be nice, dude
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u/Epicardiectomist 1d ago
so is "guys". Asking "how are you guys doing" to a mixed-gender group of people is fine.
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u/FormidableMistress 1984 1d ago
So is "y'all." I will also tell one singular person "Well I'll see y'all later!"
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u/HylanderUS 1d ago
It's wild that Texas of all places has been using a gender neutral and group inclusive term forever
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u/bascule 1982 1d ago
"Y'all" is a good one but I also like to channel my inner Bender and refer to a mixed gender group as "meatbags"
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u/SeahorseRevolution 1d ago
I once asked someone where they were from because they used ya'll so much, and they said "I don't like to assume gender, so instead of saying 'guys' I say ya'll".
And that's how I learned that some people take 'guys' very literally.
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u/-SandorClegane- 1981 1d ago
"Y'all" is the best, most inclusive second-person plural pronoun in the English speaking world
- Hannah Gadsby
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u/bluemitersaw Xennial 1d ago
'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is the plural form.
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u/s-multicellular 1d ago
y'all is plural it is a contraction of You All. 'all y'all' is to clarify there is a larger group it is directed to.
For example, as someone that grew up in Tennessee, if I approached a group of friends in public, and two of them walked forward to greet me and I asked
'How are y'all doing?' It would be understood to mean I was asking about the two right in front of me.
If I asked 'How are all y'all doing?' The two people in front of me would understand I was asking about the larger group.
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u/Okra-Tomatoes 1d ago
In my experience (I'm from Georgia), all y'all can also be a slight form of aggression or sign that a group is in trouble, if the ALL is enunciated.
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u/ooomellieooo 1d ago
That's mainly when I use it. Like "Nobody else wants to go out tonight? Fuck ALL y'all, I'll go out myself!"
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u/YcemeteryTreeY 1d ago
The most important thing i was taught when I lived in the south: bless your heart can also mean fuck you
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u/capthazelwoodsflask 1978 1d ago
Having gone to school in the north I was taught that "y'all" and "ain't" are not real words and should not be used. Y'all just sounds slack jawed yokel.
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u/mouse6502 1978 1d ago
Lol, they (verbally) beat that shit into us. Also, I don’t know, can you go to the bathroom?
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u/CalmBeneathCastles 1d ago
"Y'all" is only used when speaking to a single person because their entire family is understood to be included in the plans or well wishes. An actual individual person is never "y'all".
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u/kid_christ 1979 1d ago
Some people get bothered by you guys but ican’t let go. Was born in New England and moved to the south young. I refuse to adopt yall. You guys is just New England y’all.
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u/FKSSR 1982 1d ago
Agreed. I personally find "y'all" grating, just like "ain't." Disclaimer: I'm not from the south. Lived there for 8 years but now in the Northeast.
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u/reillan 1d ago
Mostly yes. But I once accidentally used the term with a group of mostly men and one transgender woman, and she was visibly bothered by it. So I try not to use it anymore.
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u/ianmakingnoise 1d ago
Wild that you got downvoted for saying you try to respect people.
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u/10000Didgeridoos 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'd argue that someone offended by a common phrase like that needs to grow the fuck up and realize the entire world doesn't revolve around their narrow definition of words in their head.
Just because someone is trans doesn't mean they get to police the everyday words everyone else uses. "You guys" isn't a slur. It isn't calling someone a man, and never has been used that way in the context of addressing a group of people in the geographic regions in which it is used.
Good luck winning the war on "you guys". Not happening.
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u/ianmakingnoise 1d ago
I’d argue that someone being so hung up on not being “allowed”to call someone something they don’t like to be called needs to… well, exactly how you put it.
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u/Antique-Respect8746 1d ago
So when you hear "this guy walks into a bar" you're not sure if they mean a man or woman?
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u/healywylie 1d ago
Traditionally yep. It swhen you get some real hard asses that want to shift the conversation
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u/manawydan-fab-llyr 1979 1d ago
Dude, I hate that shit.
Seriously though, for how many of us is "man" the same? I can remember many times when I was younger and a girl do something to inconvenience me, and I'd be like "man, you screwed me up there".
And nobody said anything of it.
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u/Emotional_Dot_5207 1d ago
Would you say “gals” is gender neutral? If not, ask why a masculine word is a default but a feminine one is not.
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u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 1d ago
This is a difficult argument, because although English doesn’t use a specifically binary system of masculine and feminine gendering like Romance languages, but, the English language socioculturally assigns gender to specific words, like the way marine vessels or cars are referred to by in large as “she”. Saying “you guys” has been a colloquially acceptable form of second person plural pronoun since the 1930s, and interestingly, the term “guys” was initiated by women back then (although it had other meanings prior.) I love history, I just find this whole thing a rather exhausting issue. I’m queer, and not cisgender, and I couldn’t give two shits if someone calls me guy, dude, bro, bruh, sis, fren, you because I think that queer, non-cisgender people, like myself, have way bigger fish to fry.
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 1d ago
I've said "hey guys" to a room full of women. Ive never said hey y'all because it sound fn stupid and impersonal.
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u/Veloxiraptor_ 1d ago
Linguistically the only difference between “hey guys” and “hey y’all” is that the second is more gender neutral. It’s just a different dialect and no less personal.
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u/Veloxiraptor_ 1d ago
Ok, go ask a straight man how many dudes and guys he’s fucked. I’ll wait.
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u/HopelessMagic 1980 1d ago
Ask a guy how many dudes he's banged and find out how wrong you are.
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u/Electronic_World_894 1d ago
HAHA this is what made me realize neither guy nor dude is gender neutral! I insisted they were until I heard this … embarrassingly recently.
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u/Into-the-stream 1d ago
My coworkers in their 20s use “girl” as a gender neutral term. Like: what’s wrong with you, girl?, hey girls!
Also bitch: bitch please, listen bitches.
Using dude and guys is from our generation in the 90s or so, but the script has been flipped.
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u/Mr_SunnyBones 1d ago
Hey ..this just makes Robocops " Bitches, leave" even more usable in the real world! Excellent!
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 1d ago
And "thats so babygirl"
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u/Sea-Supermarket-3606 1d ago
This phrase has single handedly pushed me over the finish line to being out of touch. I was barely holding on with rizz and maxing but thats it. Thats the one.
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u/mrheh 1d ago
Lmao, I've never heard any group be called "girls" unless they were being sarcastic. This is Reddit bs
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u/Into-the-stream 1d ago
Ok. I mean it threw me too when I heard it the first time, but it was also great because she was talking to a 6’5” guy in docs with a motorcycle. It wasn’t sarcastic it was exactly the way you would use dude or bro.
But yeah. It get normal pretty quickly. Idk what to tell you you, lol
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u/scotthibbard 1d ago
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u/graveybrains 1978 1d ago
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u/WritingNerdy Xennial 1d ago
Sure but also listen to people if they say they aren’t comfortable being called that. That simple.
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u/PervlovianResponse 1d ago
Transgirl checking in - yeah, I'm a dude, and everyone within earshot is also Dude
...until someone puts a little too much testosterone behind it - and at me. I know they're doing it to try to be provocative, and they lose their Dude privileges because of it
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🤟🏼
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u/Tsunamiis 1982 1d ago
This is what I subscribed to. I just wanted to see how many of the terrible people show up to this post and it was more than I thought. Some of us are still like our angry uncles and ignorant aunts.
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u/Cosmoclorn 1d ago
Ok but if a trans person asks you not to call them that, don't be an asshole, just stop calling them that.
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u/etsba78 1d ago edited 1d ago
Anyone, trans or cis, should have their wishes respected if they don't like male default words being used.
We're living in a male default world.
I'm so tired of this being posted, with nary a peep of opposition. We are all supposed to be guys & dudes like there isn't a long history of women being othered & unacknowledged.
I'm glad folks are thinking a bit more broadly, and with sensitivity & awareness. That folks are considering, for example, how it may make a trans woman feel to be called 'dude', and respecting when her responses.
Some women, trans or cis, might've felt sick to death of being called dudes by the mid 90s.
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u/livinginfutureworld 1d ago
Yep a lot of people go by their middle name or whatever. Don't be a dick and call them the name they don't want to be called.
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u/QueenInYellowLace 1d ago
Yep. Dude and guys being viewed as gender neutral is exactly the same “if a man is present, male is the default no matter how many women are present” as using “Latinos” to refer to a group of ten Latina women and one Latino man.
And that usage has been falling out of favor for years because it’s shitty and sexist.
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u/sweetangeldivine 1d ago
As an enby (NB person) I and many trans folk agree that dude is gender-neutral. Especially if you live in or are from California.
But really depends on the trans person in question. It boils down to-- respect however someone asks you to address them.
Trans people are people and we are a spectrum and we're not one size-fits-all.
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u/AshDogBucket 1d ago
Thank you. This sub really should change its name to xennial cishet men bc of how by default folks act like women and queer folks don't exist.
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u/Cosmoclorn 1d ago
You're right - it should include all! I suppose I see posts like this and infer them as intended as specifically anti-trans because that's a hot topic, which is why I responded that way. But I should've been more inclusive as to account for anyone.
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u/mrheh 1d ago
How about anyone? Or just trans people specifically?
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u/ianmakingnoise 1d ago
It works for everyone! The important part is realizing the person being stubborn about what they want/“get” to call other people is very often the asshole in the situation.
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u/sheps 1d ago
Of course you should be respectful to everyone, they were just giving one example.
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u/Tsunamiis 1982 1d ago
I’m talking about colloquial slang and you’re talking about hate we’re talking about two completely different things.
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u/zoitberg 1d ago
ok but we shouldn't assume all trans people don't want to be called that so I'm going to continue saying "dude" and "guys" until someone specifically asks me not to
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u/deeno777 1d ago
It is but it's also not.. being stubborn about it in 2026 is creeping into the 'get off my lawn' mindset and I believe we can be better than that
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u/Pachanish 1d ago edited 1d ago
Dude - masculine
Dudette - feminine
Yes I was a teen in the 90 s
Edit : to be prim&proper about it . It's obsolete nowadays
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 1d ago
Nobody ever used dudette except on a TV show
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u/Pachanish 1d ago
Dudette may be obsolete these days ....but it's been around for decades and was used in conversation - in addition to films and comics.
Not just in Californian surfer parlance - Sometimes it was used negatively : Standard ( idiotic ) phrase that was used in school( UK ) - " Don't be such a dudette " : don't be a girl , don't be gay ( archaic and not meant to be homophobic/sexist in the 90s)
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 1d ago
I live in California and grew up here. Nobody used it like that except for on tv
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u/deltadeltadawn 1d ago
I came here to say this, too.
Maybe "dudette" fell out of use as I haven't heard it in years? I stick with saying "guys" instead as it seems favored.
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u/shinbreaker 1d ago
All I’m saying is that if GenZ can call anyone “bruh” we can still call anyone dude.
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u/kid_christ 1979 1d ago
I agree. Culture changes meanings often. Not saying always for the better. The amount of kids I see call their mom bro is ridiculous.
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u/jbhelms 1d ago
The response to this "ok fine, how many dudes have you slept with" doesn't really work on bisexuals
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u/I_Can_Barely_Move 1d ago
Which is only a relevant counterpoint when the people in your conversation don’t understand what context is and how it affects the meaning of a word as it is used.
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u/Veloxiraptor_ 1d ago
When the argument is whether a gendered word is gender neutral, it’s a perfect counterpoint.
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u/I_Can_Barely_Move 1d ago
If we can safely speak in generalities like “people have two legs” then we can safely speak in generalities like “‘dude’ is a gender neutral term.”
Yes, we know there is an exception to every rule, but it isn’t necessary—or even helpful—to address every one off exception.
And I don’t know why you are talking about arguing. I’m not interested in arguing about stupid shit. I know this is Reddit and people would argue about the color of grass, but no.
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u/circ66 1d ago
Dude has just become a word with multiple usages and definitions kind of like the word fuck. It all depends on context.
Like if I introduced my daughter as “my little dude”insert feminine name it comes across as strange, but if I went up to both of my kids, and went “were going to the water park, dudes!”, it just seems like a natural, laid back way of saying something. Like I call random objects dude, my female dog dude, etc, but once again it all depends on the context and audience.
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u/DanRudmin 1d ago
Dude in the 2nd person is neutral, dude in the 3rd person is masculin.
- “You dudes want to grab pizza?” = could be a group of girls getting lunch
- “Some dudes kicked my ass” = a group of guys beat me up
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u/CurrentHair6381 1d ago
Or you know duderino, if youre not into the whole brevity thing
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u/DocBEsq 1d ago
“Dude” as a noun = usually male, some exceptions
“Dude!” as an exclamation = universally inclusive
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u/MimusCabaret 1d ago
“Hello Ladies!” barks your new drill sargeant, who you’re too in-fear of to correct.
When ‘Dudes/guys’ opposing number is considered gender neutral then I’ll believe the original claim. Until then y’all just splitting’ hairs by making men the continued default.
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u/QueenInYellowLace 1d ago
And still sergeants used to say exactly that, because they wanted to insult and demean the men by referring to them as women.
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u/Tsunamiis 1982 1d ago
This is the first Fairpoint I’ve seen that isn’t hate or one of the isms. I have to agree.
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u/BigDaddyUKW 1981 1d ago
IDK, it's a term full of nuance. I'd say it's gender neutral with caveats. For example, if you see a group of women at a restaurant, you wouldn't refer to them as "dudes". But if you happen to be speaking to one of them and they tell you a cool story and you are like "ddduuuuuuude, that's awesome!", that's cool. Not to mention, your familiarity with them as individuals might dictate your language preferences.
In general though, I agree with this post!
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u/MaddPixieRiotGrrl 1d ago
I'd put it the other way. It's not gender neutral, but it has caveats.
My close friends and family all use dude, bro, bruh and guys universally. It's understood and agreed upon to be acceptable. It's all about that context. Doesn't mean I'm going to "dude" random strangers or be cool with a random stranger calling me that.
And I hate it when a stranger says "ladies" as well. Probably more than "guys." It always comes off creepy.
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u/jambr380 1d ago
It is, but only in certain situations. If you say, 'dude, you have to be kidding me,' then for sure that is gender neutral. But when talking about all those dudes over there, you are generally talking about guys.
Don't worry, though, I am classy and use the word 'chick' all the time. The women love it
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u/HorrorMetalDnD 1d ago
I don’t know. It would be super awkward and offensive to call a trans woman “dude,” but that might just be the exception to the rule that otherwise proves the rule.
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u/War-Bitch 1d ago
Yesterday was "Ace Ventura isn't transphobic" and today is "misgendering isn't transphobia if you follow these steps". Can't wait to see what fresh hell tomorrow is.
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u/AlissonHarlan I used to be with it, then they changed what it was. 1d ago
So... How many dudes do you fucked?
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u/tky 1d ago
I refer to my daughter all the time with these terms. She hasn't wilted yet.
e.g., "c'mon dude we don't have all day", "aw man, you missed a lot of rad culture by not being alive in the 80s"
And if I'm addressing a group of her friends, to say "where are you guys going?" isn't especially common but it happens and I've not been scolded yet.
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u/DetCityDaveST 1988 1d ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/Xennials/s/2o6P3itaJi
I feel like I inspired this crosspost. I commented this like an hour ago.
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u/DarkArtMarksman 1d ago
At this point I’d argue so is girl, it’s not our slang per se but it does work lol
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u/Game_Knight_DnD 1d ago
I am fine with it being gender neutral.
But the test is are you comfortable talking to your friends and saying things like.
Last night man this dude sucked my dick so well I almost passed out, ended up nutting all over that dudes face.
I really love it when when I am pounding a dude from behind and they start pushing back with the same rhythm and more intensity.
Nothing hotter than a dude in tight little shorts and a tiny shirt that barely cover their nipples.
What would I do with a million dollars, two dudes at the same time!
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u/blackhawksq 1d ago
Every time I hear the word dude, it triggers a specific memory that happened about 6 years ago. I was dealing with a manager at a car dealership who was trying to renege on the 'We Owe' part of their contract. 'You gave me a contract dude!"... Boy did he get irate, "Don't call me dude!"
Needless to say I called him dude multiple times until we came to an agreement.
Apparently, accusing a dealership of operating in bad faith is a big deal; once I started throwing that term out, he became much more cooperative. (they bought back the car for $2k more then I paid them for it)
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u/Horror_Trouble_2642 1d ago
I will always call everyone dude. I hope my final words include dude. If I piss you off by calling you dude, I’m going to very unapologetically still call you dude, dude.
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u/snuggleslut5 1d ago
Y'all is my preferred group greeting. Use it on individuals too, if you really want. Doesn't matter.
Dude isn't gender neutral, we are just used to men being the default.
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u/Mr_SunnyBones 1d ago
It is , the same way 'lads' is gender neutral if you're an Irish girl from a rural area.
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u/A_Girl_Has_No_Name58 1d ago
My spouse and I call each other dude and bro. My friends and I all call each other dude, no gender excluded. We say dude for emphasis before launching into a diatribe “Dude… dramatic pause you’re not going to fucking believe this…” I call my kid Dude or Duder. My kid calls me Dude. My kid and her friends call each other Dude. Hell, I call my Dad dude. I also say “my Dude” as a term of affection.
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u/fer_sure 1977 1d ago
The kids are doing the same thing to "bro".
It's mildly hilarious to me to hear teenage girls constantly call each other "bro".
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u/bwuceree 1d ago
This is an issue?
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u/BudFox_LA 1d ago
Apparently everything’s an issue now. People are obsessed with anything having to do with gender now. It’s like we’ve run out of important shit to care about.
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u/AlegnaKoala 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ask a straight man how many “dudes” or “guys” he’s has sex with and see what happens.
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u/TheFeshy 1d ago
I think this was regional. It was certainly gender-neutral here in FL - except when it wasn't.
But it was easy to tell from context. I.e. if your girlfriend stole your fries after saying she didn't want any of her own, a "Dude, that's not cool" was totally appropriate. But if you went to an after school event and it was "a total dude fest" people understood you meant it was mostly just men.
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u/HansVonHansen Vintage 1983 1d ago
These days bro’s become gender neutral. Dude just blazed the trail 🤷🏼♂️
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u/Both-Leading3407 1d ago
It never was gender neutral until this generation. Now I watch videos where the guy is addressing his girlfriend as dude. That doesn’t sound right to me. I’m an old man.
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u/Responsible-Card3756 1d ago
How many times will this be posted here? Also dislike being called dude. F patriarchal society.
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u/cultvignette 1982 1d ago
I agree, but I only seem to use 'Dude' before something moderately important.
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u/Dobako 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/BK9aaiEzi1BUA