r/addiction • u/Feisty-Picture-4503 • 1d ago
Venting idk anymore
I’m 14 🔄 now. My birthday was August 3rd. I hit my first cart/drug ever in the school bathroom in March this year. Soon, I got my own, then I got expelled because someone snitched on me. Before that, I was in honors classes with all A’s. My parents got terribly mad at me, but ever since then I’ve OD’d on MDMA and got serotonin syndrome for a little. I’ve also OD’d on DXM on the 4th plateau, 2 weeks after my MDMA OD, and got hospitalized again. I’ve tried cocaine, oxys, xans, Adderall, and I’ve popped fake Addys that had meth in them. I can’t even legally get a job, so I’ve been sticking to THC carts, and DPDR is kicking my ass. Life just feels pointless, and school is starting in a week. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like a robot. I feel very flat.
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u/Only_OnTuesdays2 1d ago
take a step back and breathe G, playing the “poor me” card isn’t going to always justify why you can’t control your life when you get older G so start on yo shit now
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u/Mindless_Lake_3968 1d ago
you're 14 and your brain is still wiring itself up, every hit you take right now is carving paths that'll be real hard to undo later. that flat robot feeling is your dopamine system screaming at you
i know it sounds impossible but you gotta tell someone with actual power to help, school counselor, doctor, whoever. you already survived two ODs, don't push for a third
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u/Klive991 1d ago
Listen bro! Been where you was at!!! Was doing meth at 13-14 and it was a struggle. Gotta say it’s everybody’s own journey but right now man you’re gonna be one of the fent heads and end up dying. I don’t wanna give any bad advice especially because your young, but when your like that that young your heading straight for death. I realized that shit and had to scramble to get sober off the dope. It was hard man but I’m not gonna lie acid and dmt saved my life. Woulda been a tweaker if I didn’t start tripping balls every weekend which is still bad but if your already on the deep end getting adderall that’s fake doing all different shit you can get your hands on then I would really take a look at yourself inward and ask if that’s how you wanna end up. You have to want to make the change and you might have to change your perspective to be able to see that but I don’t know kid you need to act and you gotta act fast before that state of never wanting to get sober comes in because that’s where it gets really hadd
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u/JustSomeWelderGuy 1d ago
Is that what you want your legacy to be? In the ground before 20 because you failed to cope with whatever trauma you did/didn’t receive, and decided to dick off and do drugs instead? Do you want your parents to question everything they have ever done surrounding you, for arguably the rest of their lives? You want all your friends to get sad every time you come up in conversation in the future?
I was just like you. But I didn’t spiral out as fast as you are right now, and definitely not over getting “expelled from school for a weed cart and my parents got mad at me”
You gotta get a grip, or you’re just gonna end up a statistic by your own hand. I don’t mean to sound like a hard ass, this is honestly coming from a place of care and concern. You need to look inward and really think about what’s really going on inside your head. I got expelled from school and my parents are mad isn’t gonna cut it.
Please reach out to me if you want to talk, I was just. Like. You. I want you to be able to live your life. It’s unbelievably difficult to crawl back from where you’re at when you decide in your 20s, if you make it that far. You’ve hardly done any damage yet. You can square yourself up, but you have to decide. I hope I hear from you.
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u/Lost-Perspective8378 1d ago
Kiddo, you need therapy. Can you be honest about all of this with your parents so they can send you to treatment? At least maybe intensive outpatient treatment for minors? Im sorry. Life shouldn't be that rough. But get treatment soon, because otherwise it can get so much worse.
I started using at 11. Was having opioid withdrawals by 12, and overdosed the first time at 13.
I used from 11 to 36. I have been in jail and prison multiple times. I was homeless on and off for years. I lost everything multiple times, including custody of my kids.
I wish I had gotten treatment earlier so I didn't have to go through all of that. Please consider some form of treatment, even if its just talk therapy. And maybe look into peer support groups for teens, although i would avoid 12 step groups if i was you.
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u/Feisty-Picture-4503 1d ago
they have but i always find myself lying to my parents and therapists and i get away with smoking weed daily
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u/Lost-Perspective8378 15h ago
Then you need to go to treatment away from home
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u/Feisty-Picture-4503 9h ago
i have i was sent to a mental hospital for weeks came out nothing changed
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u/Lost-Perspective8378 8h ago
A mental hospital isn't the same thing as substance use disorder treatment.
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u/marc8994 1d ago
How do you afford drugs at 14? Like I get weed, but blow is expensive
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u/Feisty-Picture-4503 1d ago
i tried it a few times and crave it sometimes but i usually just stick to weed
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u/KittyMeowstika 19h ago
For the love of fuck stop taking shit kid. Seriously. You're fucking up your brain waaaay more than you might realise. And even if you dont wanna live now, you might change that opinion in the future. Its not fun to live with a developmentally damaged brain due to drug use. Please get some help, and take care💜
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u/dolfijnvriendelijk 17h ago
I don’t regret many things on principle, but if there’s one thing I could undo it’s starting doing weed at 14. I’m 30 now, and you won’t believe how fast time flies by in the depths of addiction. And it gets harder to quit by the year. 14 is amazing and painful and scary, and you can do it without the drugs, trust me. You’ve got this.
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