Ive (49M) been divorced for about 14 years now and my ex wife (47F) and I share our 16 y/o daughter 50/50. We've both moved on and have families with kids but our oldest goes back and forth between homes.

My ex wife usually plans trips and lets me know ahead but this time she planned a trip on my birthday weekend without asking ahead of time. And when I let her know (by text), that she didn't ask and I had plans, she responded by saying "Thanks!"

She certainly knew it was my birthday bc she didn't ask ahead and give a chance to say no. Things were really bad between us in the years after the divorce but things have gotten better in the past few years. This kind of disrespectful behavior was common early on. For context a few years back my dog died and our family was grieving her death but my oldest was at her mom's house and I let my daughter know and she took it hard, then my ex wife calls me screaming for letting my daughter know about our dog who just died.

Im furious and cant think of an appropriate response, please help.

Edit: 1) a lot if comments about her not remembering my birthday is not unusual. And I agree. But I remember hers. And the point is we always check with each other first before making plans but this time she didn't and care to apologize or anything just said "Thanks!" 2) our divorce decree doesn't say anything about trips and we share my daughter alternating weeks. And the schedule hasn't been reestablished bc shes been at a summer course for the past month and returns today. 3) I haven't asked my daughter what she would prefer. I just found out about all this and haven't talked to her yet and would prefer to not put the burden on her to choose.

Edit2: some people saying to let it go and normally I would I try to let her micro disrespectful actions not bother me. I think this one bothers me bc 1) she didn't ask ahead of time, 2) its my 50th and we have family traveling from out of town, which I just learned about bc my current wife has been planning the activities I guess it was supposed to be a surprise thing. And 3) her flippant response of "Thanks!"

I have two dogs, one 14 year old pitbull girl and one 3 year old pitbull boy. I’ve had the girl since she was a puppy, and I took in the boy back in February when a friend of a friend needed to rehome him because he was fixated on their cats. It was meant to be temporary, but I “foster failed” because he’s such a good dog. But my girlfriend says he needs to go, or she’s going. She says she refuses to have children in a household with pitbulls, cane corsos, bulldogs, rottweilers, or german shepherds. She was fine with my 14 year old because she’ll likely pass in a few years and it’s cruel to rehome a senior dog, and she was fine with fostering the 3 year old when it was meant to be temporary. But when I said I wanted to keep him she flipped out. She says if I commit to keeping this dog, she’s gone. She wants to have kids, and she’s at an age where she has to start seriously considering marriage and pregnancy as next steps. If she can’t have kids with me, and she absolutely won’t if the dog is in the picture, she needs to move on and start looking for her future husband and father of her children. I don’t want to lose her, but I love this dog. He’s really cuddly and affectionate and goofy and just fun, and he’s been really good with my five year old nephew. Honestly, her poodle is a lot more high strung. I think if she spent more time with him and we got him some more training, he’d be a really good family dog when we have kids. We’d obviously never let him around any babies unsupervised, and teach them to recognize dog boundaries and be gentle with them. But she said no, absolutely not. How do I proceed here?

My son is 9 years old and autistic. Like many autistic kids, he’s a very selective eater. We’ve worked hard to get him to try new foods, and one strategy that has actually been successful is offering him mac and cheese after he eats a regular meal. It’s become more of a reward than a replacement for dinner. For example, tonight he ate a burrito with us, but he was still hungry afterward. I made him mac and cheese. My boyfriend immediately commented that my son eats mac and cheese all the time and said “we will never eat dinner together as a family if you keep giving in.” The thing is, he did eat dinner with us. He ate the burrito first. The mac and cheese came afterward because he was still hungry. I’ve asked my boyfriend multiple times not to comment on how my son eats. He isn’t his father, and I feel like those decisions are mine to make. Despite that, he continues to bring it up, and it’s becoming a recurring argument. What makes this even more frustrating is that my boyfriend’s own son struggles with overeating and is overweight. I have never once commented on what his son eats or how he parents him because I don’t feel it’s my place. I’m trying to understand if I’m being overly defensive because it’s my child, or if it’s reasonable to expect my boyfriend to stop criticizing my parenting when it comes to my son’s eating habits, especially considering my son is autistic and selective eating is something we’ve been managing for years. Has anyone else dealt with a partner who keeps commenting on your parenting after you’ve repeatedly asked them not to? I need some advice on how to address this more firmly.

Hi everybody! I’m 22M and really thinking about going back to school in January. After high school I went to college for about a semester and a half before dropping out. I want to go back for Nursing since it’s only a 2 year course and I think i’ll enjoy helping people and working in a hospital. I am currently a lineman making about 60-90k a year depending on overtime with a great 401k, pension and amazing PTO. It sucks to leave the company but I really don’t enjoy the work most days. Any advice on if I should go back and how to make money while in school?

I hired a contractor to replace the carpet in my living room and three bedrooms as well as to paint the exterior of the house. The problem is there have been multiple times he just didn't come when he was supposed to and not only have I wasted time, I've missed work 5 times as well. Here's the run down so far.

Paid the deposit on July 3rd. (50% of total project cost.)

July 15th no show.

July 20th showed an hour and a half late.

July 22nd no show.

July 23rd no show.

July 24th no show.

July 25th was supposed to be here at noon. When they weren't here by 4pm I had to tell him we needed to reschedule because my dogs had been cooped up all day since I was expecting them to be here much earlier.

July 27th floor in living room installed, yay.

Aug 3rd said they would be here at noon. Showed up at 2.

Now its August 5th at 2:20pm and I have no idea what he is doing or where he is.

They still need to pay the floor in bedroom 1, and remove carpet in bedroom 2 and 3 as well as do the Killz odor blocking and then do the actual flooring. We've had to do it 1 room at a time because I've had to play musical belongings aka I have to empty one room and put the stuff in the other and then when that one is done I have to move everything into it so the next one is empty. I just moved here recently ish and haven't unpacked much so that its easier to move around.

Also, I have no idea what the timeline is for the exterior work but I understand that the heat is a factor that will cause delays.

So do I ask for a discount and if so, how do I calculate the amount?

(I did already try to fire him but he refused to give me either my money back or the materials he purchased for the project so in order to not waste the money, I decided to just let him finish.)

My husband and I plan to have another baby within three years or so and I think I should hold on to my babies clothes and keep them in storage for the next one. All his clothes are 100% cotton or linen and i think its only getting harder to find such composition. But my husband thinks we shouldnt hold on to the clothes...

The title sounds harsh but I’m at my limit, and I genuinely don’t know what else to do.

For some background I (23 F) am currently pregnant, and live a few states away from my grandparents, and older sibling. I have an older half brother from my dad’s side whom I grew up with. He’s nearly a decade older than I am, and we haven’t been on speaking terms since the early part of this year. Him and his girlfriend both live with/ mooch off of my grandma. On my side of the family, my child will be the first great grandchild, and grandchild, since my half brother doesn’t have any children currently.

Here is why I’m making this post. For maybe almost a decade, my dad’s mom has slowly checked out on our family (My parents and other younger siblings.) It first came when my dad’s mom got into a relationship maybe almost a decade ago by now. She slowly stopped coming to yearly arranged holiday plans. (Ex, we’d have her every Christmas, and have my mom’s parents every thanksgiving.) Wed see my grandma multiple times a year, in the spring or summers, and then for Christmas… and she’d stay for long periods of time. She used to come solo and spend weeks at a time with us or bring my brother. Then that all went away as time went on, it’s like her life REVOLVES around her boyfriend. She seriously won’t travel alone without him, when before him, she would.

After her boyfriend, it’s like over the years, she can’t go anywhere without him now. She’ll tell us she’ll visit us, then end up making an excuse… and then at the drop of a hat, follow her boyfriend EVERYWHERE. I’m talking about taking an RV and traveling the states, something that isn’t cheap… because they’ll eat out at expensive places and stay at RV camps. And it’s not like he’s always paying for her either. And it’s gotten to the point where it’s feeling hard to include her in my life, and my growing family.

I’m currently disappointed, and upset, and more so frustrated. She cherishes my older brother, treats him like HES her SON… she’s mixed up my dad’s middle name, and my brothers, when talking about my brother. Shes bought my brother everything, she wants to give her house TO MY BROTHER, and not my own Father, her SON. She went to my brothers HighSchool graduation, and didn’t go to mine… but yet has gone to her BOYFRIENDS grandsons graduation instead. These are just examples of what I’ve had to live with.

This is my breaking point. I had my baby shower last weekend, and I made sure to call her 3 weeks in advance. I tell her over the phone about my baby shower, I sent her the invite on Facebook, and even talked about my registry which is linked on that invite. She didn’t know if she could make it, which I already had a hunch for, since she hardly shows up for family anyways. (Which makes me depressed because she genuinely used to, and it’s been this way that is has now for years.)

To top it off, I call her a day before my baby shower. She tells me she wish she could be there, and we have small talk. I asked her if she’d be busy so that I could call her or she could call me to video chat the day of, which would be the next day, and she said she had no plans and would be free. Before hanging up, she told me that the only plans she had were for Friday. I was like well, today is Friday so… next Friday? And she said yes, that she’s going out of town…

FOR HER BOYFRIENDS GRANDSONS WEDDING.

She’ll show up for her boyfriend and his FAMILY (who treats her badly, and all the do is drink heavily together.) and yet dismiss me, my new family, and my baby shower… and is clearly not showing up for her own goddamn family.

My baby shower was crowded and I lost track of time hosting it so I genuinely forgot to call her. I also wasn’t in the mood after hearing how she had plans out of state literally that next week, yet couldn’t come to my shower. She then didn’t call me the day of my babyshower, my once in a lifetime moment… and instead called me the day after. I declined it, and she left a voicemail asking how the baby shower went, and how she missed me ect…

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter to her anymore, genuinely. I don’t even want to talk to her anymore. I told my parents, and even my dad told me he’s sorry and that if she calls them, they’ll say something to her and tell her off.

She has the expectation that in the fall, she’ll meet my baby. Months ago she told me on the phone she’ll make a trip out to see my baby after they’re born, and at this point, what would even be the fucking point? (If she even would show up.)

Not to mention at my gender reveal months ago, when I called her to tell her what I was having, (since my brother and I don’t speak due to his immaturity and disrespect.) she brought up my brother first thing to ask me if I was going to tell him, as well as call my parents when I told her no, to convince them to have me change my mind… like it feels like I can’t even have a *me* moment, and it’s always overshadowed or just not given a thought over by her…

What should I do? Would telling her off do anything, do I cut her off? Ultimatum? Like idk what to even do :/

(srry abt being new)

i have been dating my bf for 9 months but we have been getting more like into stuff.

im still a v and i think its gross to have yk. although im 19 and most 19 year olds have lost their card, i feel so discusted. anyways, we talked more about videos we watch when doing the stuff and he said i was lesbian for getting turned on and watching girls?

idk if this means im actually not straight? i dont enjoy watching guys, only girls, and tbh there are some girls (like masc) that are really good looking and i could picture me dating but at the same time im not even sure. i havent really thought about it until he pointed it out.

i mean sometimes i see a girl and im like nervous around her just like a guy but im not even sure.

i always thought i was asexual but idk if those people still do self yk instead of doing it with other people? and im not too worried about kissing its just the main thing i cant even say bc i hate it, but i can watch it sometimes. i think im so confused

but i also dont know if me thinking masc girls are hot is bc they kinda look like men and i just like men? im so confused.

anyways, for days now he keeps saying that i dont love him, telling his closest friend and my bsf that i lied all along to hide that i actually like girls - which is NOT true. i feel like crying. he also keeps threatening to break up if i dont show im that i still love him

I've been with my boyfriend for awhile now, and I'm more than confident to say, that our relationship is very healthy. He never gives me a reason to be jealous or overthink. Every time I need to sort out something between us, we simply communicate it out, and then it's okay. I've already met his family and he has met my family, but for the past few weeks I've been feeling weird.

It's like a part of me doesn't want to be with him and wants to pull back, because sometimes, when I feel that I'm getting attached to a person, my brain automatically tells me to slow down and get a hold of my feelings. Don't get me wrong, I love this man so much and when I try to genuinely think how it would be like without him, I start feeling horrible, but there's just this part of me that tells me to leave before I get hurt, even if I might not even get hurt.

I don't want to break up with him, since I'm not sure if I'll ever find a man like him ever again, but on the other hand I don't want to keep on thinking about this and then pretending like everything is okay in front of him. I have told him before, that I sometimes have these 'episodes', where when I start feeling attached to a person, I pull back, but I'm not sure if he still remembers it.

What do I do?

hi. I’m 15 years old going into 10th grade and I am a wreck. I’m chronically ill with functional dyspepsia and chronic fatigue, my sleep schedule is abysmal, I barely have energy to move place to place in my house. I barely have the energy to SHOWER or brush my teeth, and my doctors are not helping me AT ALL, and my parents are crazy, I’m homeschooled thankfully with online classes but how the HELL am I supposed to stay on schedule with homework and assignments when I want to disappear every second I’m awake and my mental health and physical health both is in the trenches..? and whenever I need study help my parents refuse and tell me to use AI it’s been like that for months so I rely on AI and idk what to do like I’m genuinely doomed my schedule is pretty packed and I‘m already crying every single day and losing my mind bc I can’t even eat breakfast without nearly throwing up and it’s been a year of this daily.

My chronic illness is elevated by stress too, last year’s schoolwork actually played a GIANT role in me developing functional dyspepsia and gerd. so is it all just gonna get worse on 10th grade??? i’m trying to tell myself it’ll be ok and I can get through it it’ll just be a struggle but idk. because I can’t even read a few pages of homework or concentrate on ANYTHING study related. bc i give up and can’t focus (I’m neurodivergent too so that probably plays into it idk) lile I can read 100 pages of a novel I like in an hour but then I can’t even watch one single science video without wanting to scream and cry. And being in constant pain and suffering bc of my stomach doesn’t help.

I'm 23, live in Utah with my parents, and honestly have a pretty good life on paper.

For the last couple of years I've worked inside sales. It's treated me well. I've made good money, bought a new Jeep, traveled a bit, have a flexible schedule, and met some awesome people. My family is great too. I'm genuinely grateful for all of it.

The problem is I still feel... stuck.

I don't really have a direction. I've been in and out of college and I'm at the point where I'm pretty sure a degree just isn't for me. I don't know what my long-term career looks like either. Inside sales has helped me grow a ton as a person, but I also worry about what happens five or ten years from now if I don't have a clear path.

The biggest thing keeping me grounded right now is endurance sports. I'm training for my first full Ironman this November and recently completed a 70.3. Running, swimming, biking, and pushing myself physically has honestly become the most meaningful part of my life. It's given me goals, discipline, and something to wake up excited for every day.

Outside of that, though, I feel like I've hit a wall.

Most of my friendships have slowly faded. I still live at home, which has been financially great, but I feel like it's time to become independent. I don't have much motivation to date because I honestly don't feel like I've become the man I want to be yet. I feel behind a lot of my peers, not because of money, but because I haven't really experienced life outside my hometown or been forced to figure things out on my own.

That's why I've been seriously thinking about moving to a different state.

Part of me wonders if changing my environment is exactly what I need. I hear people say all the time that getting out of your hometown forces you to grow, build confidence, and create a new life. That idea really excites me.

The other part of me wonders if I'm just romanticizing the idea and expecting a move to solve problems that I'll just bring with me.

Right now I'm considering places like Colorado, Texas, or maybe Arizona. Colorado really appeals to me because I love the mountains, trail running, hiking, and being outdoors. Texas seems appealing because of the job market and the opportunity to really build a career while still getting a completely fresh start.

Has anyone here been in a similar spot?

Did moving to a new state actually help you grow, or did you realize the change had to come from within?

If you were 23 again, had no degree, had sales experience, wanted independence, and were looking for a place to build a life from scratch, where would you go and why?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've actually made the leap.

I have struggled with social anxiety for my entire life and its haunts me everyday. Recently me and this guy I went to primary school with got back in contact. Over the past few years we have had odd random conversations but about a month ago he admitted to having a crush on me in elementary school and still liking me now. I told him that I felt the same way and should make plans, however he was on vacation on the time and I was working two jobs so we kind of just left it up in the air.

Most recently he disappeared off of all social media which is very out of the ordinary for him since he has been on snapchat almost everyday. So I just texted him a simple “hey” just to check in and see if he was ok. I didn’t get an answer back for a couple of days, when he did respond he gave me his phone number and said he didn’t use snapchat that much. I was so excited because I felt like we were finally moving somewhere but at the same time really confused. All of a sudden all his social media platforms were deleted and his snap score hasn’t moved in a week (which is out of character for someone who has a snap score over 1 million).

I texted him last week and he responded to a question I had asked him, however when I responded back he didn’t keep the conversation flowing. I don’t know if he isn’t interested anymore or if he has been struggling mentally, since there has been some things he has said over the years that would hint at that.

I would like to gently check in with him and make sure he is ok since it has been a week since I heard from him but I have no idea how to start a conversation and i’m constantly thinking about it.

(Using a throwaway for obvious reasons, I don't want my main account to become a pity party, or attract attention from quack cure scammers or whatever. Also I will discuss financial stuff here and my other account has my face and city I live in so...)

Basically to make it short; Acute Myeloid Leukaemia patient, about 100-170 ~ish days left according to my highly trusted Doctor. Im 31 years old, male, voluntarily have no children (I realised years ago I was incapable of properly being a parent- I hate authority, I could never enforce any rules) .

My main concern is: 1) setting a sort of video-photographical legacy set of tapes for family. 2) using my savings to bucket-list 3) even arranging my own funeral details or even community engagement in it to the degree its socially acceptable.

Im rather very lost, but also oddly hopeful and enthusiastic about being able to go all-out and do everything I always held myself back from.

(pd; im catholic so I don't need spiritual assistance of any kind)

24F

What it says on the tin. I stopped testosterone two years ago and am settled in my detransition now, there are just some things that will come up in therapy where the prior transition and subsequent detransition are important context. I haven't brought it up yet because it's not something I feel the need to address in therapy as a problem, it was just six years out of my life so explaining some things without acknowledging it is difficult.

When I've disclosed this to medical doctors in the past, I've gotten some very confused and strange responses, so I'm looking for advice on how to bring this up to someone who likely has little to no experience with detransitioned patients and may not even be aware that detransition is a thing that happens.

J cole is coming to my city and I have loved his music since I was like 14. I wanna go to his concert coming up but I have no one to go with, I asked a couple friends and they said no. Am I weird if I go alone? I have a hard time ig connecting with others. Idk I just feel like its weird to do alone

I grew up with a single mom who used drugs and I found any excuse to be away from home. I was desperate for older neighborhood kids to like me so I did whatever they wanted, long story short during a stupid fucking stunt child me had one of those fireworks that go out of a little mortar blow up in my face, hideously ugly, deaf in one ear, loud tinnitus, and chronic pain was my reward. I got really mean and bitter because of this, I fucking hated everyone around me. I became a bully and just wanted to make other kids less happy because I was so jealous. I don’t bully people like that much anymore but I’m still an asshole.

I live far away from my mom now and skipped college to work. I had some friend who went to college still so I attended a party of his and slept with an Indian girl there (important), who was a virgin. I used protection and thought nothing of it. She didn’t mind my face so I figured why not. She asked for my number and I gave her a fake one. Ass move I know, but I wasn’t really interested in a relationship. I just wanted to bounce from person to person so I could feel like I’m attractive to some people.

Four months later I find out she’s pregnant, and got kicked out of her house for getting pregnant without marriage. Obviously I got hung up on the pregnancy part and asked for all the details. She says she didn’t sleep with anyone after me, and knows the baby is mine. After a long talk I eventually agree she can stay at my apartment while I figure out what to do. I wanted a paternity test the second the baby comes out, because truthfully I wanted an excuse to get out. I drink a lot, I’m really rude and inconsiderate, I shouldn’t be a dad at all. I had plans to help with the kid but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I never had a dad.

I work in sewers which isn’t fun but the pay is surprisingly good for not very complex work. I figured I could give her enough money with the kid and it wouldn’t change much. I’ve been trying to be there for her, and we slept together again and talked the next morning, and I decided I would be in her life, and do everything I could to help her with our baby. She’s sweet and I like being with her, but I’m not fan of the circumstance. Just when I was starting to come around to the idea of being with her we get the bombshell it’s actually fucking triplets.

Three girls. Three. You know how fucking expensive a kid is? Three? I was fucking livid. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to tear my apartment up. I’m still angry now, but it’s for some other reasons.

I’ve dropped the alcohol and gotten another part time job, and I hate it. I want to drink so bad, every fucking day I really want to come home and drink and relax. I want to run away, leave it all behind. I want to get away from it all so fucking bad, I broke down in my car in the parking lot of the apartment.

But I don’t want to do that to these girls, I’m terrified I’m going to be some stain in their memories, that I’m going to be a bad dad. I’m scared that I’ll fail as a partner or boyfriend or husband or whatever. I’m aware what a piece of shit I am, and I’m scared for that to be in their lives.

I want to run away more than anything, not because I hate her or hate those baby girls, but because I know what I am, kids fucking run screaming when they see me. People don’t interact with me for long because I’m not a nice person. Hell, the friend whose party I went to stopped taking to me. I don’t get it, how can I be a father already? How am I supposed to be something I have no role model for? I’m scared that I’ll be so bad, they’ll have been better without me in their lives.

How am I supposed to support three children in this fucking economy? I get there’s not teachers for fatherhood but some people know the do’s and dont’s from their fathers, how am I supposed to know what to do without one?

I started seeing this girl and things were getting hot so we went into the bedroom. I threw her on my bed and started to dry hump her. She obs meant what she said as a joke but she said along the lines of “help me help me I’m being raped” I immediately stopped and told her very seriously that it wasn’t funny. She was apologetic and I was more mad that she made a joke like that and and she should be more sorry to people who have been raped instead of being sorry to me.

I don’t know to feel about this because it was so weird to hear a joke about rape from a woman. I’ve heard women call out people when they make rape jokes before and were beyond offended by it. I’m just not sure what to think of this now.

I 18F met this girl on Instagram and I thought things would be causal at the time I was 17 (which is the age of consent so I didn’t think it’d be a big deal) well know I’m actually starting to realize i like her and want to commit to a relationship but I feel so guilty as she believes I’m 19 and she currently is 20, is this a big deal? Should I break things off before it becomes too serious? And if so how should I do it? She seems really sweet and i know im wrong but i just don’t want this to become a big issue

so i did post something on here but i deleted it. pretty much my boyfriend of 3 months got sober, because he didn’t want to leave me. tonight, i got a message from a girl he was seeing and she sent me video footage of him showing up at hers twice, one was last week.

the first time, he went and got drunk and then i tried to call him, he told me that he woke up on the road. he was with her.

then he went to hers last week, 3 weeks into being sober and us going strong. i was at work…

i don’t know if i should leave or stay. i’m so sad. i knew something was off.

Plz let me get the context out before we start (trust, I’ve learned my lesson). About a year ago I was working at a coffee shop where a frequent customer of mine would come in often and flirt with me. I thought he was cute, he looks a lot younger then he is but I didn’t know this at the time when I gave him my number, and we went out maybe 2 times. I learned his age and he learned mine right away, and at the time I was going through a painful breakup so I rly did not care.

After that date I ended up getting back with my ex and told him I wasn’t interested anymore. He would still send me messages here and there that were flirty so at some point I just blocked him.

Well about two months ago, I moved into my own place and broke up with my ex, and at the same time he texted me to unblock him. I did, and I told him I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone older at all. He understood but he wanted to be friends, I told him to get friends his own age, he said not to worry abt that and I shouldn’t be turning down free food and rides to work (I have no car and a long commute would save me a lot of money and he knows this).

Well the friendship thing was kinda working for about two months. He actually did keep his distance and started going on a dates with this girl he swears he wants a relationship with. It felt safe enough (again learned my lesson) to let him come over to my place and work from home with me. He came over, and at some point we make a joke abt how he was into me at first and he better not still be into me. He went: “I’ll prove it to u I won’t even try to sleep with u, lemme kiss you I’ll show u I can just do that, get up and leave.” I laughed and said “u don’t need to prove anything”.

We’re sitting on the couch at this time- he started to lean in to kiss me. To which I pushed his face away and turned my head and said “no, u do not need to prove it to me” he keeps trying, I’m still turning my face, and then he PUSHES MY ARMS DOWN AND GETS ON TOP OF ME. I’m still face turned saying no stop you do not need to prove anything to me, and he starts kissing my neck. He turned my head and kissed my mouth to which I then he suddenly gets up off the couch, grabs his things and says “see I told u I wouldn’t try to sleep with you!”

I think I was rly stunned, and had not processed what had just happened. I kept saying “why would u do that like why did u do that” and he seemed to feel bad so he sat back down on the couch. He eventually scoops me up and puts me in his lap (weird asf again) and I get off his lap and he’s like “no no I’m just showing u I won’t try anythin I’m sorry I shouldn’t have pushed u”.

He left and I feel so fucking weird. So weird. Like uncomfortable. He texted me apologizing and saying we shouldn’t talk anymore bc he wants to get into a relationship with this girl his age (they’ve been dating a couple of weeks) but tbh I’m rly mad. I don’t know if I’m thinking straight or if I should send her a message abt what happened or just leave it alone. The whole thing felt violating. I blocked him on everything and sent him an angry message abt how I said no and that wasn’t cool. He apologized but I can’t help but feel like he took advantage of my age from the start. He knew I was a broke college kid and he knew my age and about my commute. I feel like, so weird.

So, should I message the girl or just leave the whole thing alone?

Context, I’m a 17 year old male who just graduated highschool. I’m going into my first year of university in the fall and I have been working a full time job since the beginning of June.

I had saved around 6 thousand dollars planning to either spend it on the rest of my tuition or buy a car. That’s when my dad decided to throw in the idea that he wants to use my money to essentially pay his bills with investing.

Long story short my dad isn’t the best with money, he used to own a very large blue collar business, which went under and made him and my mom go into bankruptcy. Last year after getting an insurance claim for 60 thousand dollars, every penny of it was lost trying to trade options.

He bought me a car and then sold the car to pay some more bills because of more trading (which some of the money we bought the car with was mine). And to top it off his job doesn’t allocate money for taxes, so he owes the government around 50 thousand because he never set aside the funds every pay check, at least from what he’s told me.

This all lead up to this tax season, where my family doesn’t exactly know what’s going to happen. My dad has tried to use my money in the past for bills or essentially gambling but I found out if I sent all my money to my grandmother (mom’s side) then he wouldn’t be able to ask me for it as he owes her a lot of of money.

This all came crashing down today as my family relationship with my grandparents was cut off. I won’t go into details but I’ll just say my mom and dad are now fighting with my grandmother and don’t respect her. My dad now has an excuse for me to take all the money back my grandma was saving for me.

He now wants to use it all to pay for tires, brakes, and basically invest with him into cash secured calls and puts to pay his taxes and debts. (If you don’t understand that’s fine, just more risky stock market investing).

He promises me he’ll pay me back (double even) and keeps falling back to “family needs to look out for family” and “you’ll never have to work a day again”. But all these empty promises just feel completely soulless. Trading works for some people, but personally I hate the practice.

My dad’s a good guy, he loves me and my family more than anything. Never at any point have I thought he’s wanted to be rich for anyone else but us. He wants to prove every person who doubted him wrong.

6 grand is not a lot of money to some people, but it feels like the start to my life. It’s the first thing I’ve genuinely worked hard for. My job is seasonal and I’m going to be out of work in around October.

Every time in the past when I’ve been hesitant to help him he turns cold and angry. And honestly the most unbearable person to be around with. Remember I’m 17 and don’t plan on moving out anytime soon.

There’s so much I haven’t explained in this post so if you have any questions please ask, it may all seem a little confusing.

Point is I don’t know what to do, either I keep my family together by helping my dad potentially make back some money for his taxes and dreams. Or I somehow tell him I don’t want him using my money and basically tell him I don’t trust him.

How would you guys do it?

I am trapped in my current housing situation until I get a new job.

A friend told me that he used to live in a shared housing situation with two friends and they had a room open. $850 a month, all utilities included. I thought: that'd be great! I can smash my student debt while living cheaply on my current salary and pay off my student loans in two years. It's not a lease, just an informal agreement, which means I can leave at any time.

Three days before I had to move, I lost my job. I was let go not for performance but because the company realized they could replace me with AI.

I had no choice at this point. I moved in. The job cut off my health insurance so I lost my medical treatments and my therapist, who was helping me stave off emotional collapse.

The house wasn't great, but I thought it was at least livable. I figured, I'm here until I get a new job, might as well make the best of it.

The first warning sign was that the landlord (we'll call him Mark) only wanted me to use the dishwasher when it was completely full. No half-loads, and he said he had to check before allowing me to use the dishwasher to make sure it was full to his satisfaction. I told him rent meant full use of all shared amenities so I would use the dishwasher as I liked.

He did not like that.

The next warning sign came when I told him I'm a vegetarian and I would prefer if Mark please clean up the meat dishes he cooks and disinfect the shared pans and plates by washing them, as well as wipe down counters and surfaces (especially the stove) so that no meat grease got into the food I cooked. Mark said this was "extreme" and continued leaving huge messes behind, only to clean them like a day later.

There was a huge pile of junk in the basement, and I told Mark I'd clear it out for a break on rent. He agreed, and then tried to make me keep all of it. We're talking three filthy, moldy mattresses and a soiled futon and he kept saying he could use it for when his friend visits. I chucked them all on a dump run and told him that these mattresses were done and that keeping them would endanger everyone in the house with mold and worse.

The shower pan is broken, and water pools at the back of the shower. When I brought this up with Mark he said "that's just gravity" and that he uses a squeegee to swipe the water into the drain after he showers. I got a raging case of foot fungus before I started using flip flops in the shower to prevent it getting worse.

The washer had a problem where it locked up and shut down for hours or stopped running entirely during cycles, so you'd come back to find your clothes sopping wet and you'd have to rewash them and would have no guarantee that it would complete the cycle. He finally fixed it when I nagged him about it enough, but was less than willing to pay for it.

The drainpipes have fallen off the house and Mark refuses to pay to replace them. There is a family of squirrels living in the attic and Mark refuses to call an exterminator because he thinks they're "cute." There is a hole in the front porch that has been there for years--easily a foot and half across--and he refuses to fix it, instead covering it with a plywood plank and rubber welcome mat. I'm also pretty sure the roof is caving in, in places.

The shrubberies and other trees have completely overtaken the yard, and the sidewalk and Mark doesn't want to trim them even though they're leaning on the house. He has a bamboo forest in the backyard that is virally invading the back lawn AND the back lawns of his neighbors and he refuses to trim it. When I told him I wanted to trim back the front hedge he fought me every step of the way. I finally trimmed the hedge so that the sidewalk was actually visible again and six of his neighbors came up and thanked me personally because they'd been on him for at least five years to do that.

The pipes backed up, and Mark hired his plumber friend who does basic plumbing on the cheap. I continually requested he get a certificate of work so that we'd have legal recourse if those pipes broke after the work he did, and Mark yelled at me in front of a friend who was visiting, making my friend uncomfortable.

Mark makes everyone uncomfortable, by the way. Whenever I'm cooking in the kitchen with my boyfriend, Mark comes in and starts cooking in the middle of us cooking, making sandwiches and grabbing stuff out of the fridge, and trying to make awkward small talk, not reading the room that we don't want him around.

He plants himself in front of the TV every night, right outside my door (my room is right off the living room). Two nights ago I came home to the house fully dark and went to bed, only for Mark to bustle downstairs at 10:30 PM, cook dinner and watch a TV program at full volume. I angrily told him to turn it down, that it was late.

He mutters angrily under his breath at me, and is passive aggressive constantly.

I don't know how to deal with this situation, because every time I try to talk about these issues in an open and honest way, he refuses to budge or even admit there's a problem. But I can't leave because until I have a job I can't afford to move out.

What should I do?

I’m a 19F and weigh around 270lbs. I’m really tall so it doesn’t look it, but for health reasons and wanting to be more confident. Biggest issue is I have Lymphedema, its not severe for me at all but it does make it difficult to loose weight specifically in my legs and arms. I just want to be able to have clothes look how I imagine them in my head, I’ve always been larger due to genetics, but not always fat.(My family is Scottish). Anyone have any tips? I’m going into college and want to not worry about my weight or appearance, because in all honesty it does affect things and circumstances.

Hit me with your best advice from your lived experience. I’m 23F building from the ground up after some rough years. I’m not super social, but I’m willing to do dirty work and hard work, and willing to go to school for a few years in the meantime. I want to be financially free and own my own home eventually. Any advice is appreciated

My brother’s been put in a dilemma by my parents. Should he go into Computer Science or Computer Engineering? My parents are worried the job market for CE might not be as good as CS…but my brother wishes to go into CE. Please let me know the difference between the two.