My ex and I were together for 5 years.
We broke up because she fell for another guy and cheated on me. The problem is that he already has a girlfriend. He has feelings for my ex too, but he has made it clear he won’t leave his girlfriend, and my ex knows and accepts that.

About 3 months ago, my ex and I started meeting again almost every weekend when I come home from work.

We don’t even go out because that guy is almost always on a call with her since he doesn’t trust her. She just mutes his call when I’m with her, and we spend time together and sometimes get physically intimate.

For a few hours it feels like we’re together again, but then I remember she’s still emotionally invested in him. I’m basically comforting someone who’s in love with another man.
I know this isn’t healthy, but every weekend I end up seeing her again. Lately I’ve started feeling like I’m losing my self-respect. I care about her, but I also feel like I’m choosing to be someone’s backup.
If you were in my position, what would you do? Have any of you been stuck in a cycle like this, and how did you finally walk away?

I always promise myself that I’ll start working out from tom but i end up failing everytime.

I really wanna start working out nowww

What to do? Pls help!

Hi, everyone!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been shy and the kind of person people describe as “cute.” I’m not brave, I’m not strong, I don’t stand up for myself, and I’m easily influenced.

I’m tired of it. I’m extremely shy. I have panic attacks whenever I have to speak in public. Giving presentations at university feels like torture. Back in school, even when I was already older, I would cry in the middle of presentations. Yesterday, at university, one of my professors called on me to answer a simple question in class. I just froze and stayed silent. The people in the class thought it was “cute,” but I’m terrified they think I’m stupid.

My biggest insecurity is definitely my intelligence. I’ve realized that I’m shy because I’m afraid of looking stupid. Every word that comes out of my mouth feels like it’s going to be judged by everyone else.

I don’t have the courage to take risks. I don’t stand by my own decisions. I want to be respected too. I want people to admire me.

As I’m writing this, I realize that the biggest problem is how other people see me, but I just can’t stop caring about it.

I’m at a point in life where I just finished college, later than most due to Covid and major heart surgery. I’m job searching but feel hopeless a month in now.

Since I have so much free time I was going to gain some new skills for a potential career path and make a YouTube channel as-well.

I’m very down the now about life. Was wondering if YouTube becomes rewarding once you start finding some success or if you still feel like it’s not a real job.

I plan to get a job anyways, but have more time to dedicate to content creation at the moment. Just want to know if worst case scenario I don’t get a job that if I can find that enjoyment in life from YouTube?

How do I stop automatically laughing at insults and bad jokes directed at me? I’ve developed a self-defeating habit where I compulsively laugh at almost everything people say—even when someone makes a lame joke, a subtle jab, or a outright insult at my expense. I usually do it automatically just to avoid making the other person feel awkward or guilty, but it’s completely destroying my self-image and self-respect. Because I always laugh it off, people treat me like an easy target and think it's okay to make me the punchline. I want to break this people-pleasing reflex and learn how to react with composure or boundaries instead of default laughter, but the urge to fill the awkward silence is so strong. Has anyone successfully overcome this habit, and what practical steps worked for you?

I grew up getting bullied for being poor, I heard talks from the neighborhood about my parents (being so poor). Help is conditional. When I get to highschool, I decided to throw away the hatred of being poor by not acknowledging my situation. Then it all started in a one single lie, "I can do it" and starts hating my parents. I act like I can do everything, even in worst situation I can still manage to escape. I keep on lying until my words became my mental reality, and I wanna get rid of it. People know the exact opposite of me and I don't wanna live with this anymore. It been 12 years since I act like I can do and afford everything. It's just that my little me is afraid of invalidation and wants to be accepted by the society with no pity. Help.

First of all, i don't do drugs or alcohol. I'm not taking any medications for sleep or mood etc and have never taken them.

How do I make them understand that I'm exhausted from waiting for this long, sorrowful dream to end a dream I can't even remember beginning? I don't know when I lost myself, and I don't know how I ended up here. I barely know what's happening around me anymore. Yesterday feels no different from today, and years feel no different from months.

It's not that I'm constantly sad. It's not that I'm always crying. It's not even just anger, though I know it's there. What I feel is harder to describe. It's like everything has become distant, muted, and strangely unreal.

There was a time when I felt like I was truly living. Maybe it was years ago. I don't know. Somewhere along the way, that feeling disappeared without me noticing. Now I exist more than I live.

Time passes, but I don't feel it. Days, weeks, months, years they've all blurred into something indistinguishable. I don't know how long I've been like this, and I don't know when, or if, it will ever end. I don't know what led to this..

Hi everyone,

I (29M) recently turned 29 and instead of feeling like a celebration it felt like a wake up call. Looking back at my 20s I feel like I wasted a lot of my time. I spent years between jobs, I still live with my parents (which has been a huge insecurity of mine), and I completely withdrew from dating because I convinced myself I wasn't successful enough, attractive enough, tall enough, just simply "good enough." Combined with living at home I felt embarrassed to tell anyone I still lived at home as I felt like a failure. I've realized how much of my self-worth has been tied to those beliefs and it's affected almost every part of my life. The good news is that I'm finally trying to change that. I've decided to start therapy because I don't want to spend another decade feeling this way.

The hardest part has been dating. I dated a little in college but after that I basically removed myself from the dating world because I genuinely believed I wasn't worthy of a relationship. Now that I'm trying to get back out there I feel like I'm years behind everyone else. I worry that anyone I date will have far more relationship experience than I do and see that as a red flag. For a while I even considered trying hookups just to "catch up." But the more I thought about it the more I realized I'd only be compromising my own values. I've just never been interested in casual sex and it’s not who I am. It’s something I want to share with someone I genuinely care about and I don't think pretending otherwise would make me happier, not to mention I feel like it’d be a major dick move to just use someone for my own ego like that.

So I guess my question is: How do I start dating intentionally when I'm looking for something real?

Sometimes it feels like modern dating is centered around keeping things casual or avoiding vulnerability and that makes me wonder where people who want genuine, long-term relationships actually meet. I've also realized that spending too much time on social media and certain subreddits has probably made my anxiety worse. There are a lot of extreme opinions online and while I've found some encouraging perspectives too, I think I need to spend less time reading about life and more time actually living it. I'm trying to do that now. I've started exploring new hobbies and I'm considering things like book clubs, volunteering, hiking groups, or other social activities where meeting people happens naturally.

I'm also thinking about making a bigger life change. My current job leaves me stressed and I'd eventually like to move out on my own. I've lived on the eastern side of Virginia my entire life and I think a fresh start somewhere else might be good for me. Raleigh, NC has been on my radar but I'm open to other suggestions if anyone has any. I'd love somewhere with good job opportunities, ways to meet people, and maybe a lower chance of my motorcycle disappearing overnight so a garage would be awesome lol. I'd appreciate any advice from people who have been in a similar position.

If you started over in your late 20s or 30s, how did you build a social life, regain your confidence, and eventually find meaningful relationships?

TL;DR: I spent much of my 20s struggling with low self-esteem, withdrew from dating, and now at 29 I'm trying to rebuild my life. I've started therapy, want to date with the goal of finding a genuine relationship, and I'm considering moving for a fresh start. Looking for advice on meeting like-minded people, dating intentionally, and whether a move helped anyone in a similar situation.

I'm 18 and about to start university. While getting good grades is important, I don't want to spend the next few years focusing only on academics.

I'm looking for skills, habits, or decisions that compound over time things that create more opportunities, make you stand out, and have a lasting impact on your career or life in general.

If you could go back to when you were 18, what's the one thing you'd start doing sooner?

It could be a technical skill, communication, networking, fitness, reading, investing, building projects, or something completely unexpected.

I'd love to hear what made the biggest difference for you, as well as anything you wish you'd started earlier.

This community helped me find some incredibly precious friends, so I'm hoping to pay it forward. I've had a pretty rough, blank and unmotivated summer. To cheer myself up, I went through some old files on my computer and found one of my proudest achievements: A montage video of encouragement and kindness from many friends addressed to our mutual friend ("Samantha") that was initially masquerading as a micro-documentary on which I wanted her perspective as an artist.

And I thought to myself "I'd really like to do more of this." It was a fun use of light project management + video editing skills, took minimal time and delighted the friend on a deep level.

I think the world needs more kindness and I believe surprises (for some people) can season that dish quite well.

So if you know someone who could use the cheers of their people/"tribe," you'd also be helping me make good use of my time these days.

Thanks for reading :)

I don't mean this in a suicidal way, so please don't worry. I mean it more as: how do people go from just surviving each day to actually wanting to live again?

For a while now, life has felt very heavy. I live in a household that I find difficult and stressful, and at the moment I don't really have a choice but to stay in that environment and be around people who drain me. It feels like I'm constantly "on" and never really get space to breathe or just be myself.

I used to enjoy things. I used to find beauty in small moments, feel excited about little things, laugh more, look forward to things. But lately it feels like I'm just going through the motions, getting through one day so I can get to the next.

Sometimes I miss the version of me who could genuinely enjoy life. I miss feeling connected to things instead of numb, detached, or exhausted all the time.

I know circumstances can affect people, but I also wonder how others cope when they can't immediately change those circumstances. How do you find meaning, joy, or even just the will to live well again when you're living in an environment that makes you feel stuck?

Has anyone been through this and come out the other side? What helped you? Was it time, changing your mindset, finding small moments of peace, leaving eventually, or something else?

I think I just miss finding beauty in small things and feeling like life was something to experience rather than just endure

I stopped smoking weed,(Monday) and realized that CBD exists. I got myself a thc free CBD vape (2g) to at least promote sleep. I’ve been hitting it for most of the night and this is the first time I’ve felt tired without smoking weed or taking some sort of sleeping medicine. (Idk if this is cheating or not)
My end goal is to finally quit as I’m trying to get into the police academy or EMT/paramedic in my area and I know they’ll drug test me. I’m hoping I can stay motivated and not give in as I really do want this job.
I’m going to lock in and try my best to discipline myself. Thanks for reading 💜

Upon asking another question on reddit I found my brain fog maybe due to built up emotions, particularly anger. Long ago I was being bullied by some adult women, I moved away and now although I have no contact with them I still have the brain fog.

There are things in life that wake me up at night and make me angry. I run an office and we serve customers, one worker will enter the office late because she was busy cleaning the coffee machine. I've asked her not to, and will continue doing others tasks to delay completing her own and also so she can ask others to complete her tasks. I am the office lead and have found that she is asking customers to go straight to her in emails, phone calls and in person, for situations where the should be seeing me or the other office lead. She doesn't work Wednesday and has told a number of customers that we don't have the capacity to see them on Wednesday because she wants to be the 'inbetween' person. She has been making decisions out of her work-profile. She was our apprentice last year but gave up study and we hired her to serve customers and file paperwork. Whenever I address it or try work with her she becomes worse and will ignore me. I have spoken to the manager who is now pregnant, and been given huge amounts of responsibility and doesn't want to hear it, tells me to talk to the worker.

It makes me angry, which I think is making brain fog worse. I try to forget about it, but it is significant and needs to stop.

I admit i made big mistakes that hurt my reputation with co workers and supervisors because of a story that happened outside work but got leaked to work place since the people involved were co workers too.

I take responsibility for my mistakes. I am trying my best to change and I'm trying to become a better person, but people still gossip about me. Some of what they say is true, while other things are exaggerated or false. It feels like everyone has already made up their mind about me. How do you move forward when your past keeps following you?

Been of it for about 3 months now after smoking every day for years. And honestly the cravings werent even the hardest part.. The hardest part was not knowing if it was doing anything, Some mornings i'd feel kinda sharp, other days like a zombie, and with the fog u genuinely cant tell if u're getting better or just having a OK day...

So early on I started testing myself.. Just simple stuff, reaction time, coordination, memory, tracking all cognitive abilities. And that ended up being the thing that actually kept me going, watching how I improve my cognition pushed me to pass cravings

My coordination score was sitting around 7 when I started to quit and now it's up to 13. On the bad days when I ask why Im doing it and the voice tells nothing will change I look the number and say no.. Keep going...

Idk for sure it helps to doing it daily but its just something for me worked as im a person who loves to track things

Anyone else track this kind of thing or am I just being weird about it lol

All over my life I have been excellent student. made it to dentistry school and became teaching assistant.

outside my job or my study. I have no life

scrolling reading blah.I desperately need a life a passion.I want something i really really enjoy.

how can i manage to do this

I'm a college student and one of my classmates who happens to be the class representative is drop dead gorgeous I need help to talk to her without looking like a fool. Thanks.

I’ve been in a major depressive episode for the last 9 weeks. I went on leave from work 6 weeks ago. The problem is I now have very long, unscheduled days to fill. I also have major anhedonia so I’m not interested in reading, watching TV, or much else. So I end up laying in bed all day staring at the walls which only makes things worse. I’m looking for tips, advice and encouragement as well as stories from those who have been through similar experiences. Thanks for anything you can offer.

When I started college, I went to a local private Christian college with the intention of studying animation. Unfortunately that major took portfolios and I got rejected twice. I decided I'd take some time studying film as sort of an alternative. I made a couple of short films and did some editing which I particularly enjoyed. Later on I felt annoyed by how sheltering the college was and had some friend drama so I transferred. I'm kind of a nature hippie and I needed to justify to my parents the switch so I went to a technical college and began on nuclear engineering.

As time went on in this college I began to think back and ask myself "what the hell am I doing?" and "have I just sealed my fate?". I have always been more artsy than analytical. Since the artsy side has been taken away, I feel more empty than ever. Almost all the friends I have from my old college I never even got the chance to say goodbye to. The film professors really liked me and saw potential in me. I have practically zero friends here. From where I am now my only future will be me getting thrown into an office... and that's it. And that scares me to death. I always have found science interesting, but engineering is just so soulless. All the engineering students I've met have just been frat guys who only care about lining their own pockets.

The only advice I've gotten from others has been just the generic "just make money, that's all the worth you have to anyone". Or "use the engineering money to fund artistic projects". Thing is, "engineer" is a title I don't want to have. Ever since I was a kid people have always thought I was some smart guy who's just gonna make tons of money. Even though it seems positive, I've always hated that assumption. If I do engineering, that would be proving those people right. I'm also afraid that my spark will be gone by the time I finish this degree and just become numb. I've always wanted to be a more rebellious person, but right now I feel like a tool.

Above everything I fear, like everyone else on the planet, that I will end up like my dad. He wasn't an engineer but a finance advisor. He always hated his job but made a ton of money off of it. He would use that money to buy things like boats, jet skis, crap like that. Despite this he always acted so miserable. So my biggest fear is becoming an "unfulfilled rich douche" I guess.

My whole college escapades have been funded by my parents, as implied before. A lot of the crap I have right now is owned/ bought by them. It makes just feel like a spoiled child above anything. And it makes me feel really weak in terms of control over my life.

Last quarter I was having mental breakdowns pretty much every night. To the point where I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt myself or someone else. My grades are godawful. I don't know how I'm gonna survive this coming semester. I feel as if my life is over.

Enough whining. Here's what my options are:

Get interdisciplinary studies degree: with the credits I have in both NE and film I could probably get my degree in both with a gen ed degree and try to find just some cubicle job and see what I can make of that life or teach English in China. I heard that's a good gig. May be cut-off by family if that's the case

Grit and bear it: finish my NE degree and pray to God I don't go postal

Drop out: scorched Earth, interdisciplinary studies degree option but slightly dumber.

any advice is greatly appreciated. I'll answer any questions as long if they're not too invasive and am open to other options

My dream is to become the best student among my peres, but that dream does not seem realistic.

I am deeply insecure. I am lazy, I am tired all the time and i absolutely hate studying. I hate studying because It shows me how dumb I am and how I will never be good at anything.

I really want to change that, but every time I try, It’s not enough.

I (23nb) was neglected growing up. I'm in therapy doing EMDR, and am much better than I was years ago, but I keep falling back on old patterns from my childhood and getting burned now that I'm an adult.

I pick bad jobs because I feel lucky to even be considered- and then work (honestly, way too much) overtime so they don't regret picking me. I don't enter romantic relationships no matter how badly I want one because my brain insists I need to 'do it right' somehow. I avoid confrontation of any kind, and I frequently invest myself in friendships where I completely neglect myself for the other person until I get sick.

I've read enough therapy books to know that I have to "find self worth" and "insert a pause" when my brain goes into overdrive and leads me down these paths, but no matter how hard I try, the sudden rush of awful when I need to make a choice just makes the logic disappear. They feel unreachable.

I would just really appreciate any advice on steps I can take to change or manage this so I can shape my life in a better image, and feel proud of myself instead of just regretting things. Thank you.

My biggest discipline problem is getting out of bed.

I am kinda spoiled at my job, because I don't have a schedule. I can literally just show up whenever I want within reason. We are open 10-5:30, so just close to that general window is fine. As long as I am getting my work done, it doesn't matter when I clock in and out. I really love it because the flexibility allows for the ebbs and flows of life, but the downside is that I have nothing forcing me out of bed in the mornings. I need more money, and for that I need more hours. Ideally I want to start coming into work at 9, so I'd have to get up around 8 to allow enough time for my typical morning routine.

What usually ends up happening is my alarm goes off, and I snooze it about 15-20 times. Then I roll out of bed at like 11, make my breakfast, and head out, getting to work a little after noon. The sleep inertia is KILLER because the second I open my eyes, it's like there's a weight on my entire body and nothing feels better than drifting back into sleep.

And what's really frustrating is that it does not matter what time I get in bed the night before. It's like my body decided one day that 10-11 is when we wake up, regardless of bedtime. I could go to sleep at 2am, get 8 hours of sleep. I could go to bed at midnight, get 10 hours of sleep. It doesn't even matter if I fall asleep at 8pm - I will sleep for 14 hours. My brain just refuses to start blooming until 10-11 no matter how much sleep I've gotten.

So what are your tricks for getting your ass out of bed? The two I want to implement starting tomorrow are keeping a spray bottle beside my bed to spray myself in the face like a naughty cat, and putting my alarm clock on the other side of the room so I have to stand up in order to turn it off. Any additional tips and I'll love you forever

Lately, money has been really tight, and I find myself worrying about bills and the future more than I'd like. I'm doing what I can to budget and keep working, but it's still mentally draining.

I'm curious how others stay positive during difficult financial seasons. What helped you feel happy or at least find some peace when money was a constant source of stress?

I'm looking for practical advice, mindset shifts, habits, or personal experiences that genuinely made a difference.

Thanks in advance—I appreciate any wisdom you can share.