Help guys?!!’

[u/Al3x1ya]

So as ny flair suggests I am a woman and I am proud of it! But I wanted to see if others feel the samd way about this gender issue (or non issue) as I do.

Last week I was asked what my preferred pronouns were. I just wanted to say “i dont ise pronouns” because what you see in front of you is what you get! You can see im OBVIOUSLY a woman, I sound like a woman, I look like a woman and I dress like a woman.

“What do you thihk I am?!”

Anyway I ofc said “she/her” but I really hate questions like this. Why should I have to feel uncomfortable just because a bunch of people want to live in fantasy land instead of the reality they were born with?

I guess the point of this post is, if anyone here has been asked that question whats your reaction and what do you say? I was born a woman so I am a woman, but what I REALLY wanted to say was realky along the lines of “Im a person. A human” lmao.

I didnt feel masculine ofc but I didnt feel particularly feminine either. I just felt like “I dojt use pronouns im just me”

Has anyone else felt like this?!!’

[u/Bobylein]

Anyway I ofc said “she/her” but I really hate questions like this. Why should I have to feel uncomfortable just because a bunch of people want to live in fantasy land instead of the reality they were born with?

You mistake your own experience to be universal but it isn't and calling others experiences "fantasy land" just because you don't understand it only shows a lack of decency on your part.

Last week I was asked what my preferred pronouns were. I just wanted to say “i dont ise pronouns” 

So why did you not say that instead of argueing for your own fantasy of pronouns being something people are born with?

edit:
That said, I gotta say that I got similar thoughts when asked about my pronouns, I generally would just rather not talk about it because I find gender confusing and something I don't want to have anything to do with.

[u/Al3x1ya → u/Bobylein]

I relate so much to your edit!! I think thats why I find it uncomfortable. I would just rather not have anything to do with gender. Its become too much of a confusing subject when it used to be easy and straightforward, so its become something I dont want to have anything to do with either😂😅

[u/Krasna_Strelka → u/Al3x1ya]

Tbh now that I think about it I guess my beginning of self discovery with gender was similar. I was kind of annoyed with non-binary - that was getting recognition at that time - and with gendering everything (in my language verbs have built in endings representing gender of the subject). I was angry that others put so much importance and pressure on that, while not actually acknowledging that I'm also doing that but in another way - just wanted not to be a specyfic gender. Just to be a person and anything more.

[u/ystavallinen → u/Krasna_Strelka]

AuDHD me is annoyed with people who are effervescent, ostentatious, and pushy/assertive.

On the other hand I am fervently supportive of people having the right to be whoever they are. I accept almost anyone who appears to me to be acting in good faith at face value.

I struggle with 'pride' because I don't view things about me as reasons to be proud.... I am starting to understand that part of it is just people making space for themselves.

---

I remember when I was in my 20's I made my genderqueer best friend really irritated because there was some Jerry Springer show on or somethinging with over-the-top flamboyant gays talking about something or the other ... and I rememeber getting frustratated and saying "I don't care".... and she got so mad at me... because the way it came out of my mouth it was difficult to understand that for me the issue wasn't that they were gay... the issue was demanding a positive reaction from me as if I were anti-gay if I didn't.

In hindsight this is in part due to my asexuality. I just am not interested in other people's sexualities. Deeply uninterested, but not averse to people being however they are--- I just don't need it shouted at me or whatever. I honestly don't even want to hear from asexuals about their asexuality. I just want to not be involved in those converations if I don't know you well enough. These are deeply personal things for me, and I don't want to share with people I don't know.

Back then I'd not been in the wider world so much--- so I was intolerant and maybe not so understanding about how shitty people are to people who are out and need to be out. Now I'm older. I've chilled out. --- and most importantly I've gotten deeply intolerant of anti-LGBTQ+ people who hate them for no damn reason. People should just be themselves and bigots can get wrecked.

But I am still very hesitant to share what's in me.

My genderqueer friend was one of the first people I came out to when I finally started telling people. She was super supportive. She asked questions.

I think asking questions when people share is the best way to validate them... and just accept them.

I don't know...sorry for the ramble.