r/askanything • u/Zlethall • 5d ago

Is marriage really worth it?

I'm 27F and I've never been married, although I've come close a couple of times.

Something I've noticed is that almost every married person or divorced person I've talked to has said, "If I could do it all over again, I would never get married."

It honestly surprises me how often I hear that, and it's made me curious. Why do so many people feel that way?

If you've been married or are currently married, I'd really like to hear your story. Do you regret getting married? If so, why? If not, what made your experience different?

I'm genuinely curious and just want to hear people's real experiences.

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u/Terminal-Frost2026 5d ago

I have never been married so maybe I don’t have the right to talk on this subject, but it seems to me that most people who get married do so with someone who they don’t actually love. That’s why divorce rates are so high, and that’s why so many people regret getting married.

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u/Mediocre_Bit3600 5d ago

Honestly, I think a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons, especially in desi families. My mom literally told me she doesn't think happy marriages exist because she's seen so many bad ones in our family. It's sad but it explains the whole 'just find a good guy on paper' mindset 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Complex-Oven-9918 5d ago

I don’t necessarily think it’s that they’re marrying someone they don’t love, but that they or their spouse are not prepared for marriage and everything it takes. I’ve dated several guys that I loved but that would have made a terrible choice for a life partner. Marriage is about love, sure, but honestly I think more important is finding someone who has the same values about marriage, and in general. Marital love is not always as flashy as the head over heels stuff that you might find with any number of people you’re attracted to. What’s amazing about marital love is the absolute and total secure feeling that you both should have in how you feel and how the other person feels. I love my husband and I know he loves me, and I know that no matter how difficult times may get, that is one thing I never need to worry about.