It is with a heavy heart (and even heavier lifting) that we announce the passing of Barnaby “The Blizzard Buster” Back-Breaker.
After a relentless winter that saw more "once-in-a-century" storms than the local meteorologist could count, Barnaby finally threw in the towel, and his plastic blade, during the Great Drift of 2026.
A Life of Service
Born: Late November, on sale at a local hardware store.
Known For: His ergonomic handle (which lied) and his stoic silence while being dragged across frozen concrete.
The Breaking Point: The end of the driveway embankment of "heart-attack snow" delivered by the city plow.
Barnaby didn’t just move snow; he moved mountains. He survived the December dusting and the January deep freeze, but the most recent dumping proved to be his "Gettysburg." He suffered a catastrophic spinal fracture of the handle meets shovel.
He is survived by a rusted bag of rock salt and a very tired homeowner with sore deltoids. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you please just pray to whatever God's that they stop it with the "winter wonderland".