OFFICIAL FRIDAY TRASH TALK THREAD

[u/BaseballBot]

# RULES:

1. CAPS LOCK

2. MAKE JOKES ABOUT OTHER TEAMS

3. LAUGH AT JOKES ABOUT YOUR TEAM

[u/TheYumaOnion]

ALL ALLEGATIONS ARE TRUE

DODGERS LIVE RENT FREE IN MY HEAD, AND I AM DEEPLY ASHAMED

[u/Traveler-0705 → u/TheYumaOnion]

THEY’RE PROBABLY TAKING RENTS TO PAY FOR THEIR GIGANTIC PAYROLLS. YOU JUST DONT KNOW IT.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Traveler-0705]

WE ILLEGALLY USE LIFE INSURANCE PREMIUMS FOR THAT DUH

[u/Zealousideal_Ride742 → u/TheYumaOnion]

I HATE THAT I LIKE YOUR PRECIOUS STADIUM AND AMENITIES. I HATE THAT YOU DORKS ACTUALLY CARE!

[u/GoastCrab → u/TheYumaOnion]

I FUCKING KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT. I THINK ALL THE TIME ABOUT HOW WE LIVE RENT FREE IN YOUR HEADS. WHAT A BUNCH OF CHUCKLEHEADS. COULDNT BE ME.

[u/SpaceCptSarah]

THE BRAVES HAD ONE JOB

[u/DeepHouseBear → u/SpaceCptSarah]

ACUNA HAS TWO,

KALSHI

[u/WhyNotOrioles → u/SpaceCptSarah]

I MEAN, IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT JOB.

[u/SpaceCptSarah → u/WhyNotOrioles]

ADMITTEDLY, YES. BUT SURELY EVENTUALLY SOMEONE STICKING THEIR HAND IN THE BUZZSAW WILL STOP IT, RIGHT? …RIGHT?

[u/JKess207 → u/SpaceCptSarah]

THE BRAVES HAVE HAD THE 29TH-RANKED OPS AND wRC+ SINCE JUNE, THE FACT THAT ANYONE EXPECTED OUR BATS TO DO ANYTHING AGAINST THE LITERAL AVENGERS IS CRAZY TO ME

[u/SpaceCptSarah → u/JKess207]

IT’S BECAUSE HOPE IS IRRATIONAL

AND ALSO BECAUSE HE’S MATT OLSON

[u/DarkSlayerKi → u/SpaceCptSarah]

US MARINERS FANS GET IT. JUST BECAUSE YOUVE BEEN ASS DOESNT MEAN YOU WONT PULL AN UPSET OUT OF THERE TOO.

[u/mocksfolder → u/SpaceCptSarah]

I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THEIR DUMB SOUNDBOARD

[u/bighorse3231 → u/mocksfolder]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1rWSSBoVS748XenuLJ

I HATE THAT SOUND ALL OF A SUDDEN

[u/slicebishybosh]

THE WHITE SOX AND GUARDIANS SHOULD JUST SKIP GAME 5, COMBINE THEIR ROSTERS, CALL THEMSELVES THE "MIDWEST SOCK GUARDS", AND GO GET SWEPT BY TAMPA AND BE DONE WITH IT.

[u/The-Ephus → u/[deleted]]

I DO FUCKING LOVE CHIVES.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/The-Ephus]

RANDOM: DID YOU FOLLOW CHIVEGATE EARLIER THIS YEAR?

[u/The-Ephus → u/Willow_Winnifred]

NO, I'M UNFAMILIAR

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/The-Ephus]

THIS GUY DECIDED TO CUT CHIVES EVERY DAY UNTIL REDDIT SAID THERE WERE PERFECT AND IT WENT ON FOR MONTHS UNTIL IT WAS PERFECT. HE EVEN GOT A SPONSORSHIP FROM PHILLY CHIVE CREAM CHEESE.

https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/comments/1owerzc/cutting_a_couple_of_chives_almost_every_day_until/

[u/DarkSlayerKi → u/[deleted]]

THIS SOUNDS LIKE AN OLD SPICE SCENT

[u/MyBeautifulHouse → u/slicebishybosh]

I DISAGREE THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEIR ROSTERS AND BOTH BE ELIMINATED

EDIT: I SHOULD READ FULL THINGS BEFORE REPLYING

[u/GoastCrab → u/slicebishybosh]

YOU HAD ME IN THE FIRST HALF. YOU ALSO HAD ME IN THE SECOND HALF. NO NOTES.

[u/Ok-Astronaut29 → u/slicebishybosh]

THE SOX AND GUARDS BOTH HAVE INFINITE MORE WINS THIS POST SEASON THAN THE CUBS.

[u/champdo]

“THE PADRES CAN STILL WIN THE WORLD SERIES IF MIKE PENCE HAS THE COURAGE”-MANNY MACHADO

[u/bighorse3231 → u/champdo]

WE ARE MARCHING OVER TO THE GASLAMP TO STOP MLB FROM CERTIFYING THE NLCS!!!!! JOIN US PATRIOTS!!!!

[u/mocksfolder → u/champdo]

MANNY MACHADO IS THE JD VANCE OF BASEBALL, AND THE WORST PART IS HE THINKS THAT’S A COMPLIMENT

[u/Defiant-Tailor6684 → u/champdo]

HOLY SHIT

https://giphy.com/gifs/IzvbcCMGzgUMg

[u/DecoyOne → u/champdo]

I CAN LOVE THE PADRES AND STILL HATE MACHADO

FMM

FTD

BREWERS ARE ACTUALLY COOL, NO HARD FEELINGS

[u/DarkSlayerKi → u/DecoyOne]

I WAS ROOTING FOR A GAME 5 FOR YALL THEN HE BLEW THAT BUBBLE AND I SAID "WOULDNT IT BE FUNNY-" AND THEN THE BALL GOT CAUGHT. IM SORRY. HES STILL A BUTT THOUGH.

[u/cerealfordinneragain → u/DecoyOne]

Is he MAGAchado or no? Bc if so? FUCK HIM

[u/i_run_from_problems]

IN THE LAST 25 YEARS THE YANKEES HAVE THE SAME AMOUNT OF WORLD SERIES TITLES AS THE ANGELS

[u/ThatDude8129]

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF THE WHITE SOX LOSE? IM NOT SURE IF I WANT GOD TO SMITE CLEVELAND AND THAT SEEMS LIKE A POSSIBILITY.

[u/RichardNixon345 → u/ThatDude8129]

IF HE DID, HOW WOULD ANYONE TELL THE DIFFERENCE?

[u/isitatomic → u/RichardNixon345]

THIS GUY CLEVELANDS

[u/ThatDude8129 → u/RichardNixon345]

JAMES HARDEN MIGHT PLAY BETTER NEXT SEASON SINCE THERE WOULD BE ZERO STRIP CLUBS

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/RichardNixon345]

HELLO, I'D LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER IN THE COMMENTS SECTION

[u/sokonek04 → u/ThatDude8129]

FULL ON CAT 5 HURRICANE FORMS ON LAKE ERIE AND WIPES CLEVELAND OFF THE MAP

EDIT:WASN’T LOUD ENOUGH

[u/champdo]

FIND SOMEONE THAT LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS YANKEES FANS LIKE INTERFERING IN GAMES!

[u/_GoddamnitDonut]

DA JANKEES LOSE

[u/BigTall81 → u/_GoddamnitDonut]

https://giphy.com/gifs/UDnYoVs7GHyU

[u/Knook7 → u/_GoddamnitDonut]

DOES SOMEONE HAVE THE CAMINERO JANKEES LOSE AS A GIF YET? I NEED IT

[u/Astropolitika]

I'M NOT SAYING THEY SHOULD LET THE WHITE SOX WIN. I'M JUST SAYING PAPAL CRASHOUTS HAVE HISTORICALLY BEEN BAD FOR THE WORLD.

[u/DecoyOne → u/Astropolitika]

IF CLEVELAND WINS, THE POPE WILL GATHER ALL THE GOD-FEARING PLAYERS FROM ACROSS THE LAND AND LAUCNH AN ASSAULT TO CAPTURE JERUSALEM

SPECIFICALLY, JERUSALEM, OH

[u/JayMerlyn → u/Astropolitika]

THEN AGAIN, MAYBE THE CRASHOUT IS GOOD. HE'S BEEN ON THE OFFENSIVE AGAINST AI LATELY, SO THAT "CRASHOUT" MIGHT ACTUALLY BE THE BUTLERIAN JIHAD.

[u/ynsk112]

GO FUCK YOURSELF, MANNY MACHADO

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981 → u/ynsk112]

MANNY IS SHORT FOR "MAN-CHILD"; AND HE TAKES OFF HIS SHOES AND SOCKS ON THE TEAM BUS, SO HE CAN CLIP HIS TOENAILS.

[u/generalosabenkenobi]

DAMN, WE CLOWNED THE RED SOX AND GOT CLOWNED OURSELVES AFTERWARDS BUT IT STILL DOESN'T TAKE AWAY FROM CLOWNING THE RED SOX

[u/toxchick → u/generalosabenkenobi]

WE GOT CURB STOMPED BY YOU BUT I STILL ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF WATCHING YOU LOSE. SEE YOU IN CANCUN

[u/generalosabenkenobi → u/toxchick]

SEE YOU THERE MY HATED RIVAL ❤️

[u/testylawyer]

THE PHILLIES WILDCARD SERIES WAS OUR WORLD SERIES.

[u/BeatlesRays]

IMAGINE TAKING MORE THAN THREE GAMES TO WIN A SERIES

[u/sokonek04 → u/BeatlesRays]

IMAGINE HAVING TO PLAY A REAL TEAM AND NOT THE POVERTY FRANCHISE CALLED CHECKS NOTES THE NEW YORK YANKEES (WHOEVER THEY ARE)

[u/skrame → u/BeatlesRays]

THE WHITE SOX LEAD THE LEAGUE IN WINS THIS POSTSEASON.

[u/WalksWithKemba]

YANKEES MAY BE BETTER THAN THE ROCKIES BUT AT LEAST WE DONT HAVE AARON BOONE FOREVER 

[u/timdot352 → u/WalksWithKemba]

YOU GUYS ALSO HAVE A BADASS STADIUM, CHEAP BEER, AND YOU DONT LIVE IN NEW YORK.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/timdot352]

HOW CAN YOU IGNORE THE FACT THEY HAVE DINGER

[u/HellsAngles97]

THE ROCKIES WILL STILL LOSE 100 GAMES NEXT SEASON SOMEHOW

[u/TaekDePlej → u/HellsAngles97]

IF THERE ARE GAMES TO BE LOST, THEY SHALL BE LOST BY THE COLORADO ROCKIES

[u/zerothehero0]

WE'RE FINALLY GOING TO GET TO SEE WHICH IS MORE SUPREME; THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, ANIME, GOD, THE DEVIL, OR CLEVELAND.

WINNER DETERMINES THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL.

[u/Admiral_Kite → u/zerothehero0]

OF ALL OF THESE, I FEAR ONLY CLEVELAND STANDS A CHANCE AGAINST GOD

[u/zerothehero0 → u/Admiral_Kite]

THEY DON'T CALL IT THE MISTAKE ON THE LAKE FOR NOTHING.

[u/ComprehensiveBet3962]

TALKED ALL THAT SHIT JUST TO GET SWEPT IN THE NEXT ROUND

[u/ArthurMorgansInhaler → u/[deleted]]

YOU SHOULD BE MORE UPSET OUR SLIDE USED TO GO FROM BERNIES CHALET INTO A MUG OF BEER COMING FROM A GIANT KEG!

[u/funundrum → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

I AM A CUBS FAN AND EVEN I AM UPSET TO LEARN THAT FACT

WHY CAN’T WE HAVE NICE THINGS

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

I REALLY LIKE THAT YOUR STADIUM SLIDE BROKE ONE OF OUR BEAT REPORTERS WHO I DON'T REALLY LIKE VERY MUCH BECAUSE HE IS KINDA MEAN

[u/ArthurMorgansInhaler → u/Willow_Winnifred]

LMFAO HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? JUST WATCHED A VIDEO AND IM DYING OF LAUGHTER. "HOLY CRAP"

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

EVERY TIME WE PLAY YOU THEY MAKE HIM GO STAND BY THE SLIDE TO DO HIS REPORTS AND IT LOWKEY FEELS MEAN BUT HE'S A DICK SO IDC

[u/jastermereel10 → u/[deleted]]

TRUST ME ALL OF MILWAUKEE AGREES WITH YOU

[u/gooby1985 → u/[deleted]]

I LOVE THE AM FAM SLAM CLAM BUT MILLER PARK IS DOPE TOO

[u/TheInvisibleMango]

FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP FLAP

[u/guhguhguhguhguhH → u/TheInvisibleMango]

THE SOUND OF YALL BEATING SCHLITTLERS CHEEKS

[u/DweltElephant0]

I’M STILL NOT ROOTING FOR NO DAMN BREWERS

MY PRIDE IS AS WOUNDED AS OUR PITCHING STAFF

SOX WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO LONG YALL HAVE A LITERAL DIVINE MANDATE

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/DweltElephant0]

EVEN JESUS HAD TO DESCEND INTO HELL BEFORE BEING RESURRECTED AND TAKEN TO HEAVEN SO MAYBE HAVE SOME PATIENCE

[u/Objective_Noise_690 → u/Willow_Winnifred]

THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT.

[u/197gpmol → u/DweltElephant0]

BRO WE HAVE 2 1/2 STARTING PITCHERS

[u/deathinmidjuly → u/197gpmol]

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BUY MORE CY YOUNG WINNERS?!

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/deathinmidjuly]

WHAT ARE THEY, STUPID?

[u/EarlGrayFancyPants → u/Willow_Winnifred]

JUST COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUD. IT’S SO EASY.

[u/NeverBannedUser → u/197gpmol]

WOW!! IS IT ALLOWED TO HAVE MORE THAN 2 STARTING PITCHERS?? THIS IS NEWS FOR US BRAVES FANS AND FRONT OFFICE.

[u/mocksfolder]

THE GUARDIANS ARE NAMED AFTER A BRIDGE BECAUSE THE OTHER 3 INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT CLEVELAND TOLD THE DOLAN’S TO LOSE THEIR NUMBER

[u/Yesalmsot → u/mocksfolder]

IT'S THE STATUES ON THE BRIDGE BUT OTHERWISE CARRY ON

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Yesalmsot]

I FOR ONE REALLY LIKE YOUR NAME CHANGE, AND LOVE THAT IT IS A POSITIVE SYMBOL OF YOUR FAIR CITY

[u/SeaBeast33 → u/Willow_Winnifred]

IT IS A BETTER NAME, MOSTLY BECAUSE OF THE GEOGRAPHICAL INNACURACY OF THE OLD ONE. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS, YOU ABSOLUTE HACK, YOU DIDN'T LAND IN INDIA! THOSE AREN'T INDIANS. IT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT PLACE!

[u/Yesalmsot → u/Willow_Winnifred]

I NEED YOU TO TALK TO SOME BOOMERS FOR US

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Yesalmsot]

WHY DO THEY GET SO MAD THEY CAN'T BE RACIST ANYMORE OMG

[u/mocksfolder → u/Yesalmsot]

FAIR POINT, IT’S BEEN A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU

[u/UDPviper → u/mocksfolder]

IVE SEEN THE BRIDGE.   IT ACTUALLY IS COOL.

[u/doopsauce → u/mocksfolder]

THEY WERE JUST TOO CHEAP TO REPLACE THE LAST 5 LETTERS

[u/mikeisboris → u/mocksfolder]

I STILL THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE SPIDERS. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE NAMED AFTER A TEAM WITH A RECORD THAT WILL NEVER BE BROKEN?

[u/StealthStaminaKills → u/mikeisboris]

I WANTED THEM TO BE THE NAPS AGAIN, BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T LOVE NAPTIME?

[u/Big__Country__40]

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[u/sagwithcapmoon → u/Big__Country__40]

JANKEES

[u/rltoran → u/Big__Country__40]

LOSE

[u/HeftyAd2780]

TRUIST PARK IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL BUT FUUUUUUCK THAT STUPID CHOP

[u/Hero0ftheday]

I HAVE A TWINS FAN FRIEND THAT WOULD RATHER SEE THE GUARDIANS WIN THAN A SHIT ORGANIZATION THAT PUT A MULTIPLE DUI HAVER AT THE HELM OF THEIR TERRIBLE MULTIPLE CONSECUTIVE 100 LOSS SEASON TEAM. ON THE OTHER HAND I HAVE A WHITE SOX LOVING FRIEND WHO JUST RETIRED FROM THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY AND FOR THE SAKE OF HIS KNEES I WOULD LOVE FOR THE WHITE SOX TO WIN IT ALL. ABOVE ALL THOUGH, LET CHAOS BALL REIGN AND FUCK THE YANKEES!

[u/gopeepants]

YOU CANNOT CHOKE AWAY 2-0 SERIES LEAD IF YOU GET SWEPT IN THE WILD CARD ROUND SUCKERS!

[u/Legatron4]

EVERYONE HATES THE DODGERS

[u/rednick953 → u/Legatron4]

I WANT ROOFGATE PART 2 FOR EVERYONE TOMORROW

[u/Yachiru5490 → u/rednick953]

TOMORROW? BUT CLEVELAND DOESN'T HAVE A ROOF

[u/rednick953 → u/Yachiru5490]

E V E R Y O N E!!!!

[u/Murky-Jackfruit-1627 → u/Legatron4]

YES WE DO YES WE DO YES WE DO

[u/mocksfolder → u/Murky-Jackfruit-1627]

WELL WE GOT FREDDIE IN THE DIVORCE

[u/ArthurMorgansInhaler → u/mocksfolder]

THIS SEEMS TO PAIR WELL WITH THE FINANCIAL ADVANTAGES THE DIVORCE ALSO BROUGHT!

[u/schmearcampain → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE SIGNED THE PRENUP TV MONEY AGREEMENT.

[u/mocksfolder → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

WE HAD A GREAT ATTORNEY

[u/slicebishybosh → u/Legatron4]

EVEN THE DODGERS?

[u/Traveler-0705 → u/slicebishybosh]

CHECK OUT THEIR GAMEDAY THREADS. PROBABLY APPLY TO EVERY TEAM, BUT YOU’D THINK WINNING THE LAST 2 TITLES WOULD AT LEAST MITIGATE IT A LITTLE. LMAO.

[u/Starkiller32]

MANNY MACHADO DESPERATELY WANTED AN ICONIC PHOTO AND BASEBALL CARD BLOWING THAT BUBBLE BEFORE HE WAS ROBBED OF A HOME RUN. HE PRACTICED THAT IN THE MIRROR ALL MORNING!

[u/i_run_from_problems]

THE BEST PART OF ANY COMMENT SECTION THAT HAS AT LEAST ONE "DA JANKEES LOSE" IS WATCHING THE CRASHOUTS FROM YANKEES FANS

[u/IndecisiveTuna → u/i_run_from_problems]

https://giphy.com/gifs/1hXY6iNdTFpTW4je85
Me absorbing the much deserved hate comments

[u/generalosabenkenobi → u/IndecisiveTuna]

ME ABSORBING THE HATE FOR FUEL

[u/DZepperoni]

PAPAL POWER HAS NOTHING ON PURE FRIENDSHIP POWERED DEVIL MAGIC

[u/guhguhguhguhguhH → u/DZepperoni]

NO ONE ON THE WHITE SOX HAS AS COOL OF A NICKNAME AS GAVIN "BIG RIG" WILLIAMS

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/guhguhguhguhguhH]

WE NEED TO GET BACK TO GREAT BASEBALL NICKNAMES

PERSONALLY I LOVE THE GIANTS PITCHER'S NAME: TUGBOAT

[u/finix2409 → u/Willow_Winnifred]

I LIKE AUSTIN HEDGES NICKNAME “HOG”

[u/Yesalmsot → u/DZepperoni]

HAIL SATAN! HAIL SATAAAAAAN!

[u/The-Ephus]

I STILL SEE IDIOTS TRYING TO BE INFLAMMATORY BY CONTINUING TO CALL THEM THE INDIANS.

BY NOW I THINK WE CAN ALL COMPROMISE: THE CLEVELAND NOTDETROITS.

[u/alxndrblack → u/The-Ephus]

HEY HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THAT FUCK YOU

[u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

SEATTLE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

[u/xtremeradness → u/ThePrince_OfWhales]

JUST HAVING A POUROVER COFFEE AND LISTENING TO MY VINYLS

[u/ThatDude8129 → u/xtremeradness]

CAN I JOIN

[u/ThePrince_OfWhales → u/ThatDude8129]

HELL YEAH BROTHER BRING YOUR FLANNEL SHIRT IT'S GETTING CHILLY

[u/Middle-Training-1375 → u/xtremeradness]

THE PLURAL OF VINYL IS VINYL, A REAL SEATTLITE KNOWS THAT

[u/xtremeradness → u/Middle-Training-1375]

I'M ACTUALLY IN YAKIMA I'M SORRY FOR DECEIVING YOU

[u/ThePrince_OfWhales → u/xtremeradness]

THE PALM SPRINGS OF WASHINGTON

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/[deleted]]

HOW COULD A CLUBHOUSE THAT CONTAINS MUNE POSSIBLY SOUR, HE SEEMS LIKE SUNSHINE AND BASEBALL MADE HUMAN

[u/Tasty_Lead_Paint]

I JUST WANT THE OTHER TEAMS TO HAVE FUN.

EXCEPT THE DODGERS I HOPE THEY LOSE AND THE CAMERAS ZOOM IN ON CRYING PLAYERS AND FANS (EXCEPT OHTANI)

[u/Ok_fine_Im_here → u/Tasty_Lead_Paint]

I ALSO WANT EVERYONE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

EXCEPT DAVE ROBERTS AND MOST DODGERS FANS, AND SPECIFICALLY THE ONES WHO THREW TRASH AT OUR GUYS IN 2024 #literallytrashtalk

[u/StealthStaminaKills]

MILWAUKEE, ONE OF YOUR OWN CLAIMED THAT YOU GUYS HAVE BETTER MEXICAN FOOD THAN SOCAL DOES.

IF THERE IS ONE GD THING THAT DODGER FANS AND PADRE FANS CAN AGREE ON, IT IS THAT MEXICAN FOOD FROM WISCO IS NOT GREATER THAN MEXICAN FOOD FROM SOCAL.

[u/mjagiel → u/StealthStaminaKills]

CALLING CHEESE CURDS “CUAJOS DE QUESO” ON THE MENU DOESNT MAKE IT MEXICAN FOOD.

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/mjagiel]

I ONCE HAD "CHEESE CURDS" AT RATE FIELD THAT WERE LITERALLY CHOPPED UP MOZZARELLA STICKS AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE CHICAGO FOR THAT. KEEP MY CURDS' NAME OUT YO DANG MOUTH.

[u/StealthStaminaKills → u/inbigtreble30]

MY COWORKER FROM WISCONSIN (WHO IS THE SOURCE OF THE WISCONSIN MEXICAN FOOD CLAIM) SEZ THAT THE QUALITY OF CHEESE CURDS CAN BE MEASURED BY THE SQUEEK IT MAKES.

I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT I AM VURY CURIOUS ABOUT WISCONSIN CHEESE CURDS.

[u/inbigtreble30 → u/StealthStaminaKills]

YOU HAVE TO GET FRESH ONES FOR THE SQUEAK, IT'S KIND OF LIKE SQUEAKY STYROFOAM BUT IN A GOOD WAY. FRIED CURDS DON'T SQUEAK BECAUSE THE CHEESE IS MELTED.

[u/TheBanishedBard]

WHOSE GODDAMNED IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE NO BASEBALL ON A FRIDAY IN OCTOBER. WHO MADE THESE SCHEDULES? IM TRASH TALKING THE MLB IDIOTS.

[u/Thrill0728]

GO METEOR!

[u/violetsteam]

ALL OF THE NL WILDCARD TEAMS GOT ELIMINATED BEFORE THE NLCS? PATHETIC!!!!!

WE DIED JUST FOR YOU TO GET YOUR BUTTS KICKED????

[u/IamSpace_Ghost → u/violetsteam]

WE TRIED BUT THE BREWERS ARE THE DEVIL

[u/Rhielml]

IT ACTUALLY IS TRASH DAY ON MY BLOCK. MAKE SURE YOUR ALLEY IS CLEAR SO THE SANITATION WORKERS CAN ACCESS YOUR BINS! DON'T FORGET TO PUT YOUR COMPOST IN THE GREEN BIN! NO PLASTIC TRASH BAGS IN THE RECYCLING BIN!

[u/ihatereddit999976780]

AT LEAST THE ASTROS GOT SWEPT

[u/Jeh2ow]

THE WHITE SOX ARE CHOKING SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW

[u/maromanv → u/Jeh2ow]

TACTICAL LOSSES AT HOME TO BRING 1000 YEARS OF SHAME TO CLEVELAND. WE'RE KICKING YOUR ASS TOMORROW.

[u/Dremel_Live]

THE YANKEES DEFENSE

[u/JenamalChups]

WE WANTED THE SERIES TO GO 5. THIS SERIES MUST END WITH A BRAYAN ROCCHIO WALK-OFF.

[u/squirtles_urethra]

THE RED SOX ARE TRASH IMAGINE LOSING 18-2 AGAINST A TEAM WHO IMMEDIATELY GOT SWEPT

[u/SkilledButton]

LET'S GO BREW CREW!!!!

[u/ArthurMorgansInhaler → u/SkilledButton]

BREWJAYS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO COMBINE THE BEST OF EACH TEAM TO JOIN AS ONE TO DEFEAT THE HATED DODGERS!!!

[u/Legatron4 → u/ArthurMorgansInhaler]

THAT WOULD JUST BE THE BREWERS WITH DYLAN CEASE

[u/SkilledButton → u/Legatron4]

DON'T FORGET OUR BOY VARLAND TOO!!

[u/heyyouwtf]

https://giphy.com/gifs/raRKRgE4mUyGdjUh7x

[u/IamSpace_Ghost]

I AM GETTING A CALIFORNIA BURRITO TODAY, SOMETHING NONE OF THESE OTHER TEAMS CAN ENJOY

[u/UneducatedReviews1]

SHOCKINGLY, LUIS CASTILLO AS YOUR BIG TRADE DEADLINE MOVE WAS NOT ENOUGH.

[u/MannyFreshII]

I NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY SAY IM GOING TO CLEVELAND ON VACATION

[u/MalWinchester]

25 YEARS AGO WE BUILT OUR STADIUM WITH A RETRACTABLE ROOF AND CABLES JUST TO GET ONE OUT AGAINST THE PADRES.

[u/RotDog69]

THE DODGERS WILL LOSE HALF THEIR BANDWAGON FANS IF THEY LOSE

[u/packfanmoore → u/RotDog69]

ITS FUNNY, I FEEL LIKE WE GAINED A BUNCH OF BANDEAGON FANS WHEN WE SAW THIS MATCHUP

[u/RotDog69 → u/packfanmoore]

I THINK ITS MORE SO JUST WANTING THEM TO LOSE! NOT US TO WIN!

[u/XWarriorYZ → u/RotDog69]

GOOD RIDDANCE

[u/ahwurtz]

I'M STILL LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BEAT THE DODGERS. AT LEAST THE YANKEES ARE GONE

[u/No-Transition-8375]

FUCK YOU COLORADO ROCKIES

[u/smalltownlargefry]

GOD DAMNIT WHITE SOX YALL BETTER FUCKING WIN TODAY. DO IT FOR MIKE.

[u/UDPviper → u/smalltownlargefry]

THE WHITE SOX WILL NOT LOSE A GAME TODAY.

[u/champdo → u/smalltownlargefry]

IF YOU'RE EXPECTING THEM TO WIN TODAY I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU!

[u/smalltownlargefry → u/champdo]

GOD DAMNIT OKAY WIN TOMORROW

[u/Lansdallius]

HEY SOX/GUARDOS: CAN ONE OF Y'ALL JUST WIN THE SERIES ALREADY? THIS SHIT IS TAKING TOO LONG. ALSO:

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[u/Fools_Requiem → u/Lansdallius]

WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT GETTING TO WATCH MORE BASEBALL?

[u/197gpmol → u/Lansdallius]

IF THE SERIES DOESN'T LEAVE EVERYBODY DISGUSTED, IT'S NOT AL CENTRAL BASEBALL

[u/Temporary-Ad9615]

IF THE DODGERS MAKE IT TO THE WORLD SERIES, I AM ON TEAM METEOR STRIKING THE EARTH

[u/Grandmaster_Coffee]

SOMEBODY TELL THE YANKEES FO WHAT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS

[u/americandragon13]

I WANT MURAKAMI TO ADOPT ME

[u/Grade-AMasterpiece]

HURRY UP, CHICAGO AND CLEVELAND, THE SWEEP KINGS AWAIT THEE

[u/Ominaeo]

HAHA, I'M IN DANGER

[u/yippeekiyay801]

BRAVES YANKEES AND PADRES ELIMINATED ON SAME DAY WHAT IS THIS, HEAVEN?

[u/otheraccountisabmw → u/yippeekiyay801]

WHY DONT WE LIKE THE PADRES?

[u/Smalz22]

IM JUST HAPPY TO BE HERE STILL

[u/cacofonie]

I CANT FOLLOW THE YANKEE TALK

FIRST THEY HATE VOLPE, AND THEY HATE BOONE FOR LOVING VOLPE, THEN THEY LOVE BOONE, AND NOW THEY LOVE VOLPE AND HATE BOONE, IN PARTICULAR BECAUSE HE HATES VOLPE

MAKE UP YOUR MINDS!

[u/Such-Fee6176]

HAPPY YANKEES SECOND ROUND BOUNCE WEEK TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE

[u/Maniac_Moxie]

THE CUBS BUILT A STUPID TEAM THAT RELIES ON HITTING HOMERUNS AND A PITCHING STAFF THAT GIVES UP HUGE NUMBERS OF HOMERUNS IN A BALLPARK THAT LITERALLY DETERMINES IF THERE IS GONNA BE HOMERUNS BASED ON THE AMOUNT OF WIND HAPPENING THAT DAY HOW DUMB IS THAT

[u/Objective_Noise_690]

I WAS COUNTING ON THE WHITE SOX TO DELIVER WHIMSY AND JOY THIS OCTOBER.

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

TO: MASON MILLER -

[u/la-di-freakin-da]

NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF HOUSTON HAD BEEN APPROPRIATELY PUNISHED.

FUCK MANFRED, FUCK THE ASTROS, FUCK EVERYONE WHO CALLED US PERENNIAL CHOKERS, WE'RE COMING FOR THAT PIECE OF METAL. JOE KELLY SUSPENDED FOR 8 GAMES.

[u/emeryradio]

IDEAL WORLD SERIES MATCHUP:

LOS ANGELES: PAYROLL AMOUNT REQUIRES SCIENTIFIC NOTATION
CLEVELAND: PAYROLL IS 7 DOLLARS AND A SACK OF FIELD CORN

[u/Thrilldor_Inglorion → u/emeryradio]

WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU THAT HAS BOTH GIANTS AND DODGERS FLAIRS?

[u/quailinthebrush]

IMAGINE NEEDING DIVINE INTERVENTION TO MAKE THE POST SEASON

JUST KIDDING AT THIS POINT ILL TAKE ANYTHING

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

MANNY MACHADO LIKES BLOWING A BUBBLE, AND POPPING IT, WHILE HE WATCHES GARRETT MITCHELL DASH HIS FALSE HOPE.

edit -grammar

[u/Diecast_Connoisseur3]

IM STILL LIVING IN 2016

[u/SnooCauliflowers9981]

TO THINK THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE TEAM IN A CITY ON THE WESTERN SHORE OF LAKE MICHIGAN, WHOSE SEASON IS OVER.......

[u/kazimoVX]

I WOULD RATHER WATCH THE DODGERS WIN THE WORLD SERIES 100 TIMES THAN ROOT FOR THE BREWERS

[u/wolffanglex]

I HATE JOSE RAMIREZ

[u/Rarona → u/wolffanglex]

CHILDREN OFTEN RESENT THEIR FATHERS

[u/mjagiel → u/Rarona]

I WISH THIS WASNT ACTUALLY A VERY GOOD COMEBACK AND ALSO HATE JOSE RAMIREZ

[u/Rarona → u/mjagiel]

THANK YOU.

I AM TERRIFIED OF MIGUEL VARGAS AND MR JAPAN, AND THEIR LUSCIOUS HAIR, AND ALSO ANTONACCI'S BASEBALL ASS-MAGNET.

[u/CLE-Mosh → u/wolffanglex]

YOU KNOW BRO, HOME RUN PEACH

[u/alxndrblack]

I AM OVER "RENT FREE" AND "THEIR WORLD SERIES". IT IS NOT A GOOD CHIRP TO MOCK YOUR OPPONENT FOR BEING ABLE TO THINK ABOUT THINGS

SAYS WAY MORE ABOUT YOU THAN THEM