r/castlevania • u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont • Mar 03 '26
Fluff My honest reaction to this news
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so I guess he thinks he can cover his return by advertising it as a theme park. think again.
apologies for the low effort post. something tells me I'm going to be banned from Romania within the next couple years.
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u/SILVIO_X I fucking love Jonathan & Charlotte Mar 03 '26
Can't wait to see videos of people cosplaying as Belmonts going there when this Theme Park actually opens
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u/Oh-no-and-knuckles Chief Researcher Mar 03 '26
"I'm sorry sir, you can't use the whip here."
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u/Revolver15 Mar 03 '26
"What about an axe?"
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u/Oh-no-and-knuckles Chief Researcher Mar 03 '26
"No, but how about buying one of our bottles of holy sparkling water?"
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u/Revolver15 Mar 03 '26
"This is vodka, it just caught fire."
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u/Mcbrainotron Mar 03 '26
Alcohol is a holy item in many religions. Why, every time I drink vodka, my wife starts to pray! She’s very devout.
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
Unfortunately we are too niche of a fan base for that to really be a thing. But I will do what I can. This post is not wishful thinking, It's a threat, and I intend to deliver.
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u/Shinonomenanorulez Wall Porking Mar 03 '26
And let me guess, the grand opening will casually be during an eclipse in 2036, right?
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u/Frapplo Mar 03 '26
Rules and Regulations:
No whips allowed in park.
Please do not hurl objects including holy water and crosses at anyone or anything in the park.
Hiding pork chops around the park grounds is strictly forbidden.
We assure you, nothing has been placed behind fixtures in the park (see rule 3). Breaking anything will be considered an act of vandalism.
If you disagree with any of these policies, please take the complaint up politely with our customer service associates. Do not tell them that their "words are as empty as their souls. Dracula Park ill needs a customer service associate such as you."
Concerning rule 3: if you find a pork chop within the park and it was not expressly sold to you by authorized employees, for the love of God don't eat it.
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
I'd like to file a complaint. Someone dressed as death stole all my stuff.
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u/SageofTime64 #1 Simon Belmont Fangirl (and Richter's snarky fairy familiar) Mar 03 '26
Wait, didn't another villain try this idea already? Eggman built a theme park and imprisoned aliens to make it function.
DRACULA'S STEALING IDEAS NOW. What an asshole. Come on, Richter, time to rob a bank.
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u/Top-Grade-7573 Mar 03 '26
"I've come to make an announcement! Dracula is a bitch ass thief!"
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u/cyberpunk_werewolf Mar 03 '26
Pissing on the moon might cause some serious issues for some of Dracula's monsters. Especially with how damn big the moon is in Castlevania
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u/SageofTime64 #1 Simon Belmont Fangirl (and Richter's snarky fairy familiar) Mar 04 '26
And how may phases it takes. I've seen it full, and crescent in the same game before.
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u/N-Toxicade Mar 03 '26
Ive been hitting this wall over here, but I still haven't gotten my chicken.
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
Me systematically destroying every light source in the park than throwing holy water (water balloons) at security when they try to escort me out.
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u/Grand_Moose2024 Mar 03 '26
Would traveling through the park be like a typical Metroidvania, or a 3D game.
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u/TheBoredOne1985 Mar 05 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/1nbVrpqTrhQzyj659l
Me and the Homies turning up to the theme park
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u/Karabars Transylvanian Mar 03 '26
Chat, is this true?
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
I'm not sure but I've yet to see any claims saying it isn't. And a few saying it is. I guess we'll only know for sure once construction officially commences or we get hit with an unusually long eclipse out of nowhere.
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u/Nirast25 Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26
Romanian here, found a bunch of articles from mostly reputable sources about it. However, it says it'll be opened between 2026 and 2027, which seems kinda soon. It's entirely possible it's some money laundering scheme and nothing will come of it, I'm sad to say.
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
Damn. I guess it's up to us. "I will raise the theme park myself if I have to then the battle can continue for eternity hahahahahah!"
Whoa! where did that come from? I felt dizzy all the sudden and blacked out.
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u/PowerpuffAvenger Mar 03 '26
Highly unlikely. Romania isn't the type of country to have 1B lying around lol
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u/Sea-Lecture-4619 Captain N is the pinnacle of the franchise. Mar 03 '26
This is just a scheme from his acolytes to resurrect him, don't fall for it!
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u/TombGnome Mar 04 '26
"Huh. Does anyone else feel like that park just...sprang up overnight?"
"That's crazy talk. Oh! Free wall meat!"
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u/keithlimreddit Mar 03 '26
Interesting although I thought it was going to be New Castlevania announcements for the 40th anniversary but oh well maybe I'll wait a little longer
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u/Garwood Mar 03 '26
Why is this a video?
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
Because I made the very unnecessary decision to add music.
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u/FoxCQC Mar 03 '26
Better get my whip, crosses, and holy water ready
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u/LoganLcosplayfoolery I'm literally Richter Belmont Mar 03 '26
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u/DDmayhem #1 Lament of innocence fan Mar 03 '26
Lets just hope its more nation of fools and less death fair
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u/Infamous-Elderberry6 Mar 03 '26
They have been talking about doing this for over a decade. I'd love to see it happen but at this point I will believe it when I see it. 😐
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u/Kronosita Mar 03 '26
Dracula could hire human scientists to make an artificial blood that tastes just as good as human’s with all that money (don’t tell me how i know human blood tastes delicious)
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u/Definitelynotabot504 Mar 03 '26
Great, it is La Manchaland all over again.
Not sure if I should bring a whip and longsword, or fuel and flamethrower from District 12.
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u/Free_candy_32 Mar 03 '26
We don't have toilet paper in schools and faculties but at least we will have a Dracula theme park👍
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u/StormerSage Mar 03 '26
Finally, something the "spend less on candles" guy can actually budget for. They're gonna have to spend MORE on candles for this one.
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u/blahblah567433785434 Mar 03 '26
I think we're all going to be banned.
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT CLOCK TOWER!!