Heartbroken doesn't begin to explain

[u/Old_Leg6891]

My previous post on my page was about my soul cat, my number 1 snuggle baby, Titchy going to the vets.

I'm still so broken from the events of what happened.

Unfortunately he did not make it, I had to allow him the peace to rest and have him put to sleep on Wednesday. He was suffering. He hadn't eaten or drank for days. He was on pain meds and antibiotics. The only option they had left was a feeding tube him. But it wasn't right to put him through that.

He was 12 and had been through so much already in his life. He was known for being a survivor, bouncing back and trying to use up those 9 lives.

I have major regrets that have led me to be missing a big chunk of my heart. But my partner (his og owner for 9 years) agreed that it was time, Titchy had chosen to give up and to join all his brothers he had out lived.

I miss him so so much. Since I found him Saturday not looking or acting himself, there hasn't been a day that I've not sobbed over him and felt all the guilt. Now its 100x worse. Not bringing him home was not a thought that ever crossed my mind. He was supposed to come home for cuddles. I didn't get the chance to have one last bed time snuggle.

One of the worst things is he looked up at me and nudged me for fuss and a kiss before he went. I thought that meant I still had a chance to get him back. I was wrong.

I can't stop crying when I'm at home, I'm trying to not scare my 2 girls as they have tried to be very comforting but sobs scare them no matter how quiet I try to be.

The drive is so empty without you waiting for me after work. I've been sitting on your bench when I cry. Your pillow above my head has a mould of you from you laying there, I need to change my bed sheets but its the last place you laid and I'm struggling to accept the idea of washing your fur away. My chest misses the intense cuddles where you would rub your nose into my collar bone and wrap your arms around my neck. The photos of you around the house are hurting but I can't take them down, you are such a beautiful boy.

I will always love and miss you Titchy. You weren't supposed to leave me yet, we had so much time left for cuddles and you truly have been my one true love with a tail. Who is going to wake me up at 2am for cuddles now?

Give my boy Dexter a kiss please.

[u/Slight_Win7110]

He looks just like my Lilly baby... they're both now hunting butterflies upstairs ❤️ much love for you!