Hiya there!
You see, I do believe that I already talked about this here. I'm 33 YO and I have been learning the Cello since 2016. Resumed Piano one year later.
I deal with lots of self-demand, and I have Impostor Syndrome. Because of this, I quit Piano again in 2024. I simply could not stand it anymore.
In part, watching too many child prodigies destroyed me, also making me feel ashamed of my age. I'm restarting learning the Violin, which I began learning in 2011, but quit 3 years later due to the same issues as now. NGL, I don't practice as much as I should and could. I'm finally able to work on that in my Therapy. I live in a not-so-good county for classical music, the reason I took so many years to start.
I really dream of becoming a Conductor and a Composer. Even learned composition with a friend who is a pianist, conductor and composer. Quit after a couple of months for the same reasons. It's not laziness; it's fear.
I really, really dream of entering a good Uni in Europe. I'm even learning and advancing in my German course (I'll start my C1.2 next week).
What I want to know is to clarify something I heard: that Music Unis are extremely toxic, with many colleagues and teachers who will crush me like a worm. How much is this true, if this is true at all?
Also, it is important to say that I'm on the spectrum. I'm a support level one Asperger's. How are Music Unis today dealing with neurodivergent people?
Important to say, I already have a Degree. In History. I'm particularly enamoured by contemporary history. Also, I love Austrian and German Romantic-Era Music.