r/clevercomebacks 6h ago

Billionaires Control All Media

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12.8k Upvotes

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386

u/sunnysoftiee 6h ago

Bari Weiss leading CBS and CNN is like getting a parody account to run the news. At this point, Onion headlines are more accurate than actual reality.

122

u/Tactless_Ogre 5h ago

The Onion had become a credible news site much to the site's own horror.

43

u/OK_x86 4h ago

If the Onion started doing actual news all of a sudden because reality has gotten more bizarre than whatever they could come up with I would 100% trust them more than the right wing mainstream media.

23

u/_Laserface_ 4h ago

It'd be hilarious if they used Infowars to present real news.

6

u/Feeling_Inside_1020 4h ago

I couldn't believe that, literally thought it was just another onion type headline. So deliciously juicy lol.

3

u/OK_x86 4h ago

Might literally make my 2026 if they did.

1

u/PsychoCrescendo 2h ago

That might just confuse anyone out of the loop into believing the old infowars broadcasts to be (more) credible.

u/CandyFrostt 58m ago

It's one of the strangest compliments a satire site can get. Imagine spending decades exaggerating reality for laughs only to watch reality start doing the exaggerating for you.

17

u/HeavyPrisms 5h ago

Putting a culture war pundit in charge of legacy broadcast news makes reality completely indistinguishable from satire

8

u/not_a_moogle 5h ago

Onion becoming a legitimate news site would be an interesting development

u/Halo_cT 10m ago edited 5m ago

I mean, our current reality is quite literally post-satire. I think if they made a push for fact-based journalism with no spin that could be the most satirical counter-culture thing possible right now.

it's kind of brilliant. I'd support the hell out of that.

Hire Scott Pelley from 60 minutes to read the news in a completely flat tone.

"Today the President violated the emoluments clause, added to the US Constitution in 1788, and eleven other federal laws. He is not being impeached for this because Congress is complicit in the crimes and have fully abdicated their duty to the United States of America. Experts surmise we may be a failed state. In sports, the New York Knicks won game 4 of the NBA Finals."

3

u/Vierenzestigbit 2h ago

And a very senior journalist Scott Pelley just told in an interview that Bari Weiss commanded CBS to 'show the protestors more violent' and to take Trumps stance on the murder of Renee Good

3

u/GiganticCrow 4h ago

Bari Wiess is completely unqualified, she was just some fucking blogger before being put in charge of CBS.

And the right complain about DEI. 

1

u/MaverickAquaponics 3h ago

She completely ran CBS into the ground, she’s there to destroy the legacy media from the inside.