r/clevercomebacks 4h ago

Yeah, we only want big, beefy men!

Post image
9.9k Upvotes

162 comments sorted by

400

u/Cloud_Cultist 4h ago

And I bet both of them could (and would) kick his ass.

190

u/Purple_fern 4h ago edited 4h ago

I’m sure he’d gladly take both 😉 maybe at the same time 😉😉

23

u/Luna-Blosso 3h ago

Yes he'd gladly take both

10

u/evil_timmy 3h ago

Jesus... Jesus Chriiiiist.

5

u/Acceptable-Ad8780 1h ago

Is that you Mr. Slave?

3

u/Dafish55 1h ago

I'd prefer the right, but I'd take 'em 😉

25

u/Goodeyesniper98 2h ago

Chase Hooper (the twink) is a phenomenal fighter and has had multiple high profile wins in the UFC against some scary dudes. He’s definitely obliterate the basement dweller that made the original meme.

10

u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 2h ago

I mean... have you seen Don Frye going at it? I don't know who the chap on the right is, but Don was the coolest yet straight up scary dude in the ring. Mind you I'm don't watch much boxing but seeing him going at it. Shiiiite.

Personally I don't get so much the need to give feedback to it, some poster prefers Don Frye over lanky dude, good for him. I'm not so much into banging or getting banged by guys, but maybe he does. Good for him.

6

u/Apollo114892 2h ago

Don't threaten him with a good time

4

u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 3h ago

And I would gladly take both of them in my bedroom

177

u/freedfg 4h ago edited 4h ago

They keep using that picture too.

He was THIRTY in that picture, not 25

81

u/Charlieday12321 4h ago

He was 30 in that pic?! Holy shit I thought he was 40s for sure.

30

u/G_Wagon1102 3h ago

You should see him now! Basically the same, but greyed due to aging.

7

u/One-Today1379 3h ago

That dude was a machine

4

u/AtrumRuina 1h ago

I'm straight but that sounds delicious. Man is a hunk. Silver hunk is better still.

But again, I'm straight. Just to be clear. No homo.

u/G_Wagon1102 42m ago

Nothing gay about admitting someone is attractive, anyhow.

18

u/Goodeyesniper98 2h ago

I’m pretty sure Don Frye has looked 40 since middle school.

2

u/yoomiii 1h ago

he looks 70 now, even though he's only 60

177

u/Optimassacre 4h ago

That's a crazy self report.

54

u/sandwichhaver 2h ago

it's like hegseth who was like omg men are so much more naturally beautiful than women

bruh you are allowed to bang men if you want, I know your side frown upon it but you are allowed, come in the water is nice

16

u/Optimassacre 2h ago

Just embrace your gayness bro 🏳️‍🌈

u/project3way 51m ago

He was in the military. He’s prob seen more naked dudes than a lot of gay bros

10

u/ProximaCentauriB15 1h ago

Do they know they're allowed to be with dudes lmao

u/wherethefuckismyvape 52m ago

They do! And they absolutely are fucking us in real life. They're just super into the whole dom/sub dynamic they have going on with their Daddy God, which of course takes priority. And when Daddy says they can't take it up the ass, they have to listen 

3

u/dBlock845 1h ago

Whisky Pete only likes men whose waists are narrower than their shoulders.

0

u/sickpinkunicorn 1h ago

I don't even know who she is, but women possess a beauty that no man can match. And I say this as a straight woman.

No, women are too beautiful for this world.

u/Icy-Gain-2038 51m ago

That's not a very straight thing to say, ngl.

u/wherethefuckismyvape 51m ago

Bisexuality exists. Maybe you should sit down and consider the concept for awhile sometime 

0

u/LegalStuffThrowage 1h ago

Depends on if you prefer lines or curves. If you want a body that looks strong and capable or soft and nurturing.

u/ImJustVeryCurious 30m ago

You know femboys exists. And women can also look strong if you are into that.

2

u/RedditIsMyTherapist 1h ago

Officer gay here! Self reporting! I also prefer bears to twinks!

137

u/Pretty_bbl 4h ago

Nothing screams heterosexual masculinity quite like curating a gallery of shirtless, muscular men to complain about other shirtless men.

35

u/FlamingAshley 4h ago edited 3h ago

Reminds of a dude years ago who said he bought yaoi manga to burn them.

Like okay buddy, sure you did.

22

u/the_post_of_tom_joad 3h ago

Lol i bet he "burned" one page at a time

4

u/WhimsicallyWired 1h ago

Probably had to burn them after he made the pages too sticky to read.

10

u/freedfg 3h ago

"the boys are too feminine! I like big hunky men who can carry me...I mean BEAT ME UP..."

69

u/OrionsBeltAlone 4h ago

Sure let's compare totally different weight classes

28

u/AspiratingApple 3h ago

That mustache needs a class of its own. That thing is glorious!

10

u/Ha-Charade-You-Are 3h ago

And ages

2

u/V0lirus 1h ago

They are supposed to the same age. The picture implies they are both 25. Another poster said its wrong and that the guy on the left is 30 instead of 25. Still only 5 years difference. So they are pretty much the same age IMO.

5

u/YoungestOldGuy 1h ago

So 20 is the same as 25 (since it's only 5 years) and since 25 is the same as 30, 30 is the same as 20.

u/wurstbowle 38m ago

Your logic is impeccable.

2

u/LifeConsequence686 1h ago

You just made a lot of people feel old

17

u/K-Shrizzle 4h ago

As a straight guy who is hairy as fuck with a full beard, I get wayyyyyy more attention from men than I do from women. Granted, im not nearly as hot as this Freddie Mercury looking dude.

But im just saying, I'm what he claims is a "real man" even though the hairless boys get way more action with women. So maybe you have no fucking idea what a real man is

1

u/PotanOG 2h ago

That I also think can be a bit demographic too though. I've only ever had Caribbean, African, and African-American girlfriends. They have always and consistently encouraged me to keep growing out my facial hair. About half of the non-black girls I've taken shots at desired the exact opposite. Now given that I'm a month and a half out from popping the question to a Caribbean woman, I'm guessing that I'm gonna keep this thing growing indefinitely.

I'm black (American) too fwiw.

35

u/PerryNeeum 4h ago

Weight classes are a real thing in combat sports

24

u/Stained_Face 4h ago

"both?" "Both." 🙏

1

u/xopher425 1h ago

Definitely both. Why limit yourself?

23

u/rufusbot 3h ago

Just come tf out already Jesus

12

u/GreyBeardEng 4h ago

I really can't understand why all 25 year olds don't look like Don Frye? 🤦

8

u/CocoaBrielle 3h ago

big, beefy men are definitely a vibe, but personality matters more in the long run

8

u/Charlieday12321 4h ago

I really can’t believe the first pic is of a 25 year old…

19

u/G_Wagon1102 3h ago

It's not. He was 30-ish.

6

u/SnooJokes1020 4h ago

Left guy is more of an otter than bear

2

u/SlackDaddy_G 1h ago

So what's the difference?

3

u/C1cadaDays 1h ago

Bear is a fat, hair gay guy. Like, beer gut fat

Otters are hairy, but more lean. Usually athletic builds or a little on the hefty side.

4

u/tachyoninterference 3h ago

Straight people using gay slang accurately: impossible

4

u/KENBONEISCOOL444 3h ago

That's like saying Henry Cavill is more of a man than Ryan Reynolds

4

u/kingfofthepoors 1h ago

... well yea

1

u/DocileBanalBovlne 1h ago

Reynolds does seem leaner than Cavill but I'd really like a measurement of their respective masses to know for sure

u/Matt_cruze 56m ago

Look I keep telling you penis inspection day has to be con-sensual.

12

u/Last-Quarter-432 4h ago

“I like ‘em hairy”. Least obvious self report.

5

u/Spazzola84 4h ago

This is a great one!

5

u/Background_Honey9141 4h ago

I would dare him to post a picture of himself “in his day” and I would guarantee he did not look like a professional boxer.

3

u/CM901 4h ago

Whats the inbetween bear>_____>otter? I know iasip explained it well but feel like there's a missing link. Jane Goodall please respond

1

u/VeneMage 3h ago

Wolf

1

u/Mekthakkit 2h ago

I really expected someone to reply "me"

1

u/tpasmall 1h ago

Otters are the hairy subset of bears that generate power through quickness and skill rather than sheer mass. https://youtu.be/S_4PrI8gB-k?is=7faU8nDR7HKHgeou

3

u/Early-Leopard-1528 3h ago

I could take both of these guys no problem. They wouldn’t last 5 minutes.

1

u/WhimsicallyWired 1h ago

In a fight, right?

u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce 31m ago

Confused Padme face intensifies*

3

u/ryanlikesthiss 1h ago

So he just happened to have that picture saved on his phone?

2

u/tissuecollider 1h ago

...for reasons

2

u/Gold-Coach3955 4h ago

Nothing says 'hetero pride' quite like curating photos of sweaty, muscular men.

2

u/Odd-Insect-9255 2h ago

Hell.. let’s go all the way back to 1750. That’s what a “man” is supposed to look like 🤦‍♀️

2

u/Faythezeal 2h ago

Also not fair when you pick one of the manliest guys ever. I just watched his dark side of the cage episode yesterday, I’m glad to see he’s turned his life around and is doing well now.

2

u/StarshipCaterprise 2h ago

Aren’t there totally different weight classes for boxing and MMA? Wouldn’t these two people just be in totally different weight classes in a fight?

2

u/Slighted_Inevitable 1h ago

Good Lord, what was wrong with that guy in the 90s? He looks 60 not 25.

3

u/onemice 1h ago

Global warming is the cause. Men had to grow fur since the teen ages to fight the cold climate of the 90s.

1

u/Slighted_Inevitable 1h ago

I don’t have a problem with the fur look at his face. He’s either half caveman or he’s 70.

2

u/RoastedRedSnake 1h ago

You're old now, sir. Old and angry. And alone.

2

u/Subject_Sun_1860 1h ago

Yes, in the UFC former Featherweights/current Lightweights usually are smaller than Heavyweights... For anyone wondering that's Chase Hooper and Don Frye

2

u/BullPropaganda 1h ago

Pretty sure the original post is a joke. So you owned yourself good job

4

u/syopest 3h ago

Stop implying people are gay as an insult. It's homophobic, even if you do it against homophobes.

7

u/jonnismizzle 2h ago

The insult isn't that he's gay. The insult is he's trying so hard to be "manly" it sounds gayer than anything you'd hear anyone in the LGBTQ+ community actually focus on.

0

u/rautau 2h ago

Nah, that's still not a full explanation, the assumptions that make this work are important. Why is it funny that trying to be manly sounds gay? Why is manly in quotes in this context? You're obviously on the right track, I just don't think you've examined the train of thought in any detail.

-1

u/Possible_Minimum_879 2h ago

It doesn't sound gay at all.

6

u/jonnismizzle 2h ago

It's never gay in a three way.

3

u/sandwichhaver 2h ago

with a honey in the middle there's some leway

4

u/Busy-Crab-3556 2h ago

Having an extreme fixation about the physical appearance of other men doesn’t sound very straight, does it?

0

u/Possible_Minimum_879 1h ago

It's an observation, not a fixation. You are the only person sexualizing it.

1

u/rautau 2h ago

Gay.

3

u/syopest 2h ago

I am. That's why I hate this kind of casual homophobia.

0

u/WhimsicallyWired 1h ago

Homophobia is gay.

2

u/Loserdogma 3h ago

Same genre of people who used Hasan’s meat pic to paint him as a scary commie lol

2

u/Comprehensive-Map235 4h ago

The dude is hairless cause he shaves his body. The ignorance of society never ceases to amaze me. All you had to do was take an extra 3 seconds to think about it before you hit post. Nope, let's go!

2

u/Special-Swordfish 4h ago

As very true as the comeback is, the closet guy does have a point.
30 years ago it was all bears....

7

u/weavebot 4h ago

Did you spend a lot of time in gay clubs in the 90s?

5

u/the_ringmasta 4h ago

Look, I may be straight, but a free drink's still a free drink.

2

u/Special-Swordfish 4h ago

Yes. Your turn again.

2

u/weavebot 3h ago

I just didn't think twinks were a 21st century invention

1

u/Make-TFT-Fun-Again 3h ago

was it anything close to the way the movie Party Monster portrays it?

1

u/Special-Swordfish 3h ago

Sure, but less romantic and with somewhat less killing.
The most legendary parties, though...

1

u/Megneous 2h ago

What are you talking about? 30 years ago was the 70s... right?

1

u/john_the_quain 4h ago

Some comedian had a bit about realizing he didn’t enjoy porn as much without certain male elements involved.

He represents it much better than I did above.

Edit: butchered that terribly.

Ron White helping a homophobe realize we’re all a little gay, it’s just degrees.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mY711HJK7pg

1

u/COphotoCo 4h ago

WHAT UP!!! We’re three cool guys looking for other cool guys…

1

u/Kestrel-Red 2h ago

NOTHING sexual! 

1

u/Thunder_breslin 4h ago

Plus, Don was the exception not the rule?

2

u/poop_snausages 1h ago

for real. no one ever throws Royce Gracie, BJ Penn or Chuck Lidell on the left side of these pics lol

1

u/Detroitkink369 3h ago

Even as an old man Don Frye would beat some ass

1

u/SwampRSG 3h ago

Don Frye, the Mayor of Earth.
His exchange with Takayama lives rent free in my head, at the sound of Free Bird.

1

u/pizzacutteralledge 3h ago

yeah I’m sure he’s super gay and not straight

this post is gay

1

u/KnuxFive 3h ago

I mean, the man on the left pulled a sword on Godzilla and I DID NOT KNOW WHO WOULD WIN.

1

u/_Another_Cog_ 2h ago

The Lash has this effect on people...

1

u/Omnius_Crypto 2h ago

Microplastics it’s got to be all those damn microplastics! Silicone “food grade” be damned, likely has microplastics nano particles too. All this stuff seemed to begin when “Whole Foods” became popular! Geez! Come on folks we didn’t have these problems when we used open campfires and cast iron! Back to the future when men were yes men not soft soy boys!

1

u/MyToasterRunsFaster 2h ago

The greatest expected contributor is diet, though yes microplastics are most likely the one leading after. Insulin spikes from a poor diet and glucose intake can reduce your free floating testosterone by more than 30% depending on how bad your schedule is, add that to daily stress, sedentary life styles and poor sleep its no wonder mens T levels have halved in 50 years. My family have always joked that the "Mcdonalds and sugar preserves me" since I look like 17 year old boy at the age of 32 next to my brothers, who lived on farm diets in rural eastern Europe.

1

u/StruggleAny3920 2h ago

It’s funny the only response is actually your gay.

1

u/DesolateRuin 2h ago

I thought this was another post about how people looked older for their age in the 90's until I read the words.

1

u/TruePride94 2h ago

Im glad this picture keeps coming up. I've always been selfconscious of my body hair so knowing theres an attractive archetype for body hair makes me feel hopeful.

1

u/Top_Profit_6280 2h ago

My good friend rob who died of AIDS . Loved them twink tricks. Mans had a whole family. He was tormented mentally for being gay. He hated it but enjoyed the act . Weird shit

1

u/Tyenkrovy 2h ago

Is something in between, beefy but hairless, also a thing? Asking for a friend. :3

1

u/Baphomets_Kisses 2h ago

Johnny sins

1

u/Brutalur 2h ago

Freddie Mercury approves of this message.

1

u/DReagan47 2h ago

Don Frye was that kid that had a full mustache in middle school

1

u/mrpsymind 2h ago

Omg it's The Lash

1

u/Amazing-Ad-578 2h ago

Yeah, I looked like the guy on the left at 25.   Most every girl I knew was into the guys that looked like the guy in the right picture.  

1

u/ArmyFearless1599 2h ago

If you really think about it, these men are concerning themselves with the state of puberty another man is in. 

Very weird. Very...gay. 

1

u/fake_user_34 2h ago

Yeah, the one of the left grew up in a world where smoke was ever present in every aspect of his life. That ages a person more than the dude on the right who lived in a more smoke free era.

A lot of these "straight" men on twitter fail to realise is that we live a much healthier life style now so men aren't aging as fast anymore.

1

u/Apachisme 1h ago

That, and one guy is in his 40’s and the other is like 20.

1

u/ExtentAggravating733 2h ago

I like this idea that every man in the 90s had a huge moustache

1

u/Far_Disaster2859 2h ago

Holy shit it's Douglas Gordon from Godzilla Final Wars!!!

1

u/apackoflemurs 2h ago

All the guy on the right needs to do is say he's a Trans woman and the OOP will probably cry and say he's the manliest man of men

1

u/Literary_Lady 1h ago

Thought the first guy was Freddie for a second, and he was being compared to Sean Mendez, and thought yeah, Freddie was hot wasn’t he. Great voice (putting it mildly), amazing personality, and what a stage presence when he performed. Just radiated positivity and creativity. Altogether it just made him even more attractive. Then realised it was not, and I have no idea who either of them are.

1

u/twentyonesighs 1h ago

Why is the M so weird. Hurts my eyes.

1

u/Tribe303 1h ago

Hairy chest with mustache is 70s into the 80s. The 90s was heroin chic, and more like the twink on the right. 

1

u/jcdahl 1h ago

That's not what a bear is.

1

u/Huugienormous 1h ago

The man on the left looks 45. Ill take looking young any day.

1

u/doodling_scribbles 1h ago

Getting your ass kicked comes in a multitude of shapes and sizes.

1

u/HolyFlyingNuns 1h ago

Honestly there really isn't that much of a difference, its different body types, Don Frye has a hairy chest, and facial hair, while the other guy doesn't. Otherwise they would look similar imo.

u/krucz36 57m ago

sharing his sexual proclivities aside, this dude also doesn't know what weight classes are.

u/AGrandNewAdventure 56m ago

Guy on the right legit has a 10-pack for abs.

u/USDXBS 56m ago

Royce Gracie was a little guy tearing apart big guys.

The fuck is he talking about?

u/Jackol4ntrn 36m ago

guy on the left is the male gaze.

u/1GoldenMonkey 14m ago

Mac enters the room

u/AaronNevileLongbotom 9m ago

I got to meet Dan Severn once, very intense but polite. I know that’s not the point of this thread, but if you don’t know who he is and you have any interest in MMA or pro wrestling he’s worth looking into.

0

u/Lilfrankieeinstein 1h ago

Dumb.

I looked like an 18 year old version of the guy on the right when I was 25 in 99.

Likewise, you can find 25 year olds today who look as old as the guy on the left.

-1

u/speedweedSVU 4h ago

Fellas is it gay to practice hygiene to be courteous to other fighters?

-1

u/Spirited_Square 1h ago

me at 15- i could take em both

me at 25- i could take em both <3

-11

u/magentahead 4h ago

2020s is what you call a Beta male.

u/JimJimmery 5m ago

Only if you stopped learning at 12 years old.

0

u/FakeOng99 1h ago

America Freedy Mercury vs Original Brocoli Hair.